6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

FreeV....could you tell me more about your jitters? ...How long did it go on?...Did they last half a day and present themselves for days in a row?.  Did you get a certain amount of d/r with it...and near panic anxiety.....this one is killing me...

....So glad to hear that you are having some good days...so encouraging to hear that from other buddies as we go from one day to the next...I hope your better days are here to stay....coop

[[je...]]

Yes Coop, half the day-days in a row. This is a new sx for me, and it is quite uncomfortable--Im having a very hard time even meditating. Peace, I agree with Coop, you are such a treasure for this thread-Thank you for all the encouraging words~ Jenny

[[Co...]]

Free....thank you thank you for the speedy reply...you have helped me put my mind at rest on this.  ...I am sorry your are experiencing this one too. ...You so deserve not just days of feeling healed, but every day from here on out....thank you again ....coop

[[Co...]]

Oops....sorry Jenny...that last post was addressed to Free, but meant for you...I am slightly crazed today....thank you Jenny.....coop

[[pe...]]

Coop- I'm packing my bags and heading to that magical healing center you've imagined. I'm going to guide myself there on my next meditation. I can't wait to see you all. 

 

Peace2

[[No...]]

Hi ... tried sleeping for a couple of hours ... didn't help ... just trying to stay calm and move through this AGAIN ...

 

This is what my jitters feel like  .

 

Right now it is all physical ... mentally I have been able to keep it glued together but it is getting more exhausting. I keep turning around to see who is strangling me. My benzo belly goes up and down. The bands around my head and the stuffed ears and sinus.

 

Book me a room at the Healing Lodge.

 

Hang in folks ... this always has passed in the past ... and it will pass again ... if not I want a refund.

 

:smitten:

[[No...]]

I am going to be up for a while and will hang around here ... my hope for each of you is that you will get some rest this evening.

 

[[pe...]]

Good evening, Nova. I'm going to try my chances at sleep in just a moment. That's one thing I do pretty well most of the time. The two things that help me are alternate nostril breathing - here's a link

 

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2641?utm_source=MyYogaJournal&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=MyYogaJournal&utm_content=sidebar1link

 

And the other thing is kids calm and restful-

 

http://www.hylands.com/products/hylands-4-kids-calm-’n-restful

 

 

Mostly I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

Peace

[[No...]]

Thanks peace2 - have a good sleep. I know I am held by all of you. That is us ... a "holding circle" .... it is always amazing to me how no matter what I am going through I still feel connected to all of you.

 

[[Co...]]

Nova....thanks do much for the reminder....' this will pass..it always has in the past ' . This ftgread is the only thing holding me together today. My jitters eased...to be replaced by dizziness and mental anxiety ..I gave up trying to keep my day put together...went to bed and turned on mindless TV...that's the best I can do today. ...Nova I am sorry that your sleep is such a mess

. ..Peace...and Nova....meet you at the imaginary healing abbey...I am signing up for the evening therapeutic Gregorian Chant and something healing from the nutritionist 's kit hen of alchemy.

.....wishing you both rest and peace.....coop

[[Co...]]

Nova...you are so connected to us...you bring so much to this thread...honesty, humor, ' bounce ' , really wise words, compassion and huge support....this thread would not be what it is without you...and your ' bounce '.....sending you wishes for peace...and sleep....coop

[[No...]]

Thanks ... Coop ... yes I can hear the chanters ... sitting here with my three companions, Chamomile, Ginger Aid, and Breathe Easy ... may we all rest well.

 

[[He...]]

Hi All,

Today sounds like it was a doozy all the way around! I had the worst day than I've had for a LONG time.  :'( Jenny, I am like you, I thought I was almost healed, but now I'm not sure. 

Coop, I also get the half day jitters thing.  It was really bad today!  I could not sit still, was jumping out of my skin, it was awful.  Luckily, it IS usually only 1/2 a day...and I can almost always count on starting to feel better by around noon on these days.  Today was tougher than normal and it didn't calm down until about 1:00, and after that I still had symptoms, including depression. Now I'm exhausted with a bad headache. 

 

I am praying that we all have a great night sleep and a wide open window tomorrow!

[[Co...]]

Healing, thanks so much for your affirmation that these crazy jitters are w/d...I am beginning to be less freaked out. They totally blindsided me as they are a new s/x...and I thought they were ' leftovers ' from my antibiotic disaster, but the antibiotics are more than 10 days discontinued after only 2 doses...so unlikely that they are still causing this craziness. Everyone who responded to my rant recounted the same rollercoaster...bad jitters with or without mental anxiety and lasting about 1/2 day, but dome days worse. Like you, mine were more difficult today and sucked the life out of me. I haven't been back in bed in the day time for awhile.  until today.

.....The responses have really put my mind at ease....hate the jitters, but am feeling able to let go of all the health fears that came with them. ....

.....Wishing us both a no jitters day tomorrow....man,  how much more can mere mortals beat back?

..here 's to a very good week for all of us ....coop

[[No...]]

Good Morning - hope you all got some rest. I went back for three more hours. 5 AM and another mild, sunny day. The benzo head- and neck-binder is still around. My "guts" seem to have stayed asleep, only some background anxiety still churning. Oh well ... another day closer to being done with this stuff.

 

I heard the bells of the Healing Abbey ... will go and sit for a while.

 

Good Healing, folks.

[[No...]]

Found this in my little box of "words":

 

"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another. Helen Keller"

 

That is us, doing the best we can, and watching and waiting for our miracles and the miracles of others.

 

Blessings.

 

[[No...]]

Here are some fragments of the "self-talk" I had this morning ...

 

This is recovery ... this is a necessary part of the path I have chosen. This recovery goes on, night and day, hour to hour until it becomes complete. My body-brain made changes while I was taking the drug. Now it is repairing these changes.

 

"We" are a team, a group, a family. The "we" here is me, body, brain, mind, soul, all the myriad aspects of this entity that can be experienced. To simplify, its name is NovaScotia.

 

I feel all "parts" of me experience this recovery/healing. And so far, the only aspect of NovaScotia that feels out of sorts about this is Mind-NovaScotia. All the other aspects seem to be okay with what is going on. So ... the consensus is every is going along fine.

 

But wait, "I" feel lousy. This feels terrible. It has gone on forever. It is unrelenting. When will it stop? How do I get out of this? I can't take this anymore. Here we go again. I can't do this anymore.

 

And "I" hear the chorus saying ... okay ... this is rough for you. Maybe you can leave the kitchen while we finish getting recovery ready. Go watch a little TV, listen to an audio-book, work a jigsaw puzzle, go for a walk, meditate, listen to music, veg out, breathe, relax, go process some orders, go sit on the patio ...

 

We know this is very hard for you ... and right now you do not have to do anything ... your job is to just Be for however long this takes. As much as you can, just stay out of our way. We will take care of this.

 

But, but, but ... no buts .. just git.

 

And so NovaScotia comes over to BB and sends a post. Got kicked out of the kitchen ... you folks are stuck with me for a while.

 

Good Healing.

[[Fr...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

My window isn't really open anymore.

 

I have those awful internal jitters too, Coop and everyone else who has them!  They are awful but they must be from WD because we all seem to have them.  They are awful.

 

Maybe one of us should post the question on the forum, of when these typically resolve.

 

In the success stories, I don't specifically read about the internal jitters and by internal I mean that they're not caused by thinking patterns gone askew - they are the CNS being overactive and there is no way to calm it down.

 

Lisa

[[Gr...]]

Hey, All

 

I didn't really read the posts before mine, just glanced at them.  Looks like you guys are mostly having a tough time.  My window is still slightly open.  I need to get to Costco and visit my ex in the nursing home before it closes.  Will be back later.  Also, I have some PMs I need to respond to.  Will do that, too.

 

Feel better everyone.

[[Co...]]

Oh Free....so so sorry your window dimmed....and the horrid jitters set in. I totally agree with your definition of internal as being. CNS...completely physical,although mine trigger emotional upheaval.  ..I don't even know what to tell you to do to help them.  I try to stay crazy busy....not hard as I can't be still anyway. ..My worn out go to of lavender epsome salts soaks in a hot tub helps momentarily....most of all just knowing that most likely they will let up by noo. or so gets me through. I have had tdhem for about 10 days pretty much straight. They seem to be signaled by tinnitus and head and ear fullness.

.....They haven't arrived this morning heat...they have been traded for dizziness, nausea , pounding heart and fatigue at 430...

.....Free....try to hang on to the thought that they will probably let up by afternoon.  You are right, with 4 of us getting hit with the exact same thing the only logical con musking is Benzo Beast...don't listen to all the scary things it wants you to take in

....post here as much as you need to....you are in good company......sending love...coop

 

[[Co...]]

Nova...love your beautiful words from your. " word box "...amazing the graace wisedom and beauty of a woman who could neither hear nor see. She obviously ' heard ' and " saw " beyond that of most of us. ..Nice perspective for the day.

.....Your internal dialogue sounds very much like mine...you just have better things to say on your end of the conversation. I too wonder..when will this be over? ...will I ever have my life back?

.....I know it will end....just hope it doesn't end me!....My life, when it comes back will be deeper and richer with greater purpose......meditating on accepting what the day brings.....coop

[[Co...]]

Green...you go girl....sounds like another good day for you...you so deserve it....very encouraging for those of us who are crawling along the cave walls trying to see the perverbial ' light at the end of the tunnel ".....will be looming forward to hearing about your trip to Costco...if you can go to Costco you have this ....I love it that you are feeling better Green. ......coop

[[Sk...]]

I'll join in too.

 

:yippee: I can't wait to come to Healing Lodge too!

 

I had a rough 24 hours and when I want to come in to read here, I realise my left eye is getting more and more unfocused.

 

THat pretty much limits my reading, my writing is stunted by my mild dyslexia. So I feel stumped from doing what might give me some relief.

 

My symptoms are so specific and targeted to keep me miserable. I can't read, can't write. I just know that if we created an audio forum, my hearing would find a way to stop as well!!

 

I am Ok, I know I can feel much worse but it does get frustrating.

 

When my eye gets bad, I can't even draw. My little mindless, childish and positive drawings take the pressure off everything else.

 

How bad can things be if I'm busy drawing a fluffy bunny? With my palps I AM a fluffy bunny!!!

 

I drew my old childhood teddy bear.I imagined he is worried about me, he knows I' m suffering, he helped me march through childhood, he feels he can help me through this.

 

Mr Sky was looking at my sketchbook and remarked that all my characters are always smiling. Of course they are, somebody has to be happy AROUND HERE!

 

Luckily I can listen to my Spanish podcasts and feel I'm not helpless.

How bad can things be if I'm listening to Ben and Marina, chatting on how to express opinions in Spanish and talking about nice places in Madrid?

 

But I do need my buddies and I resent not being able to communicate.

 

I care for you so much and  I realise it by how long I spend putting all the letters in place of my posts before posting.

 

THink of me , even if I  don't post a lot. I so wish to chat more!! Sorry for the long post, but I never know when I'll have it in me to post again.

 

Take care

[[Fr...]]

Coop - I'm sorry you're dealing with this symptom too.  It's a tough one.  Read Sophia's success story - it helped me this morning because she had similar issues and they resolved over time.

 

I'd be happy to see a lessening of this over time even.

 

You're right about it easing up into the afternoon.  Getting motivated in the morning is difficult.

 

Lisa

[[He...]]

Good morning,

I'm doing a bit better now than I was yesterday.  I'm rather amazed because I woke up at 3 and was SO anxious, I laid there with those darn internal jitters and lots of fear.  I spent a lot of time reading BB, which is about the only thing I can do on those bad nights.  Man, I haven't had one like that since probably January or February.   I climbed into bed with my younger daughter and was able to doze off and on for most of the morning, starting about 6.  I figured that today I was going to get slammed with a night like I had, but things have calmed down a bit. 

 

My increase of symptoms are made very much worse by some major stress going on in my life right now.  Through a huge complicated series of events that started several years ago when my husband lost his high paying job because of the economy downturn, we defaulted on our mortgage.  We now have 5 months to figure out what we are going to do, which will probably be find a place to rent.  :'( We have lived here for 14 years, and while I really don't particularly like this house and it has a lot of fixing up that needs done, the idea of moving and under these circumstances is really hard to take.  I am embarrassed, and stressed, and sad.  I'm trying to see this as a good thing too.  A time to start over and get out from under the stress and uncertainty that has been hanging over us for the past year....a fresh start at life.  However, talk about something that does NOT help the recovery process!!   Lots of tears, fear, and anxiety.