6-12 month thread....

[[Gr...]]

sky.. unfortunatly some of us short termers are having a had time , myself, benzomammas daughter, and another guy he only used for 3 weeks at .25 of K.. and he is 10 months out.. i know it doesn't make much sense but we do suffer as long i'm hoping for a year recovery..

 

Sussie, Minnie wrote a post a ways back after a conversation with her pharmacist, who said it didn't matter if you took benzos three months or 30 years, if you're sensitive you're going to get hit.  I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of it. I was into tolerance very quickly after I started, just didn't know, and it went on for years.  But I did have a major reaction after a short time on them.  So it makes perfect sense.  Just hang on.  You're in the right place

[Guest [su...]]

green.. at what point did you start getting your brain back??? ( that sounds funny) i still don't really, sometimes i can almost feel it and i still have no emotions.. only cry of course..

[[mr...]]

MommyR:

 

Peace,

 

Love this phrase: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time I commit to work my job today. That's it -- no more. One day at a time.

 

Here are some buddies you might enjoy knowing about:

 

Carlover quit 1.5mg (I think?) Xanax cold turkey, and continued to work full time at a high stress job, all the while getting promoted through it all. His main symptoms were anxiety and muscle pain (and some others I'm not recalling currently), if I'm remembering correctly.

 

Sophia tapered off of 3mg (I think?) Lorazepam and continued to work as a fulltime grade school music teacher (talk about NOISE!! LOL). Her main symptoms were high & constant anxiety, fear, irrational fears, nausea, and food sensitivities (again, if I'm remembering correctly).

 

Northofhere tried tapering twice, and then cold-turkied the third & final time and (get this! continued to work full time, with an hour one way commute, go to grad school, travel, etc. The reason why I love this story so much was that her main symptoms were fear, anxiety, terror, irrational fears, etc. Her posts from back then really show her challenges. Amazing

 

I love theses stories so much!

 

I hope you have a good night Take care buddy

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

MommyR:

 

Hi Lisa

 

First things first: breathe. A nice deep, slow breath.

 

Okay, regarding everyone's healing:

I have pondered this as well. And researched it

 

There are three withdrawal advisors located at this site:http://cepuk.org/withdrawal-advisers/They provide interviews with them that answer commonly asked questions about withdrawling from medications (benzos & otherwise). Now, credibility is something that is very important to me regarding information. Baylissa Frederick, one of the withdrawal advisors, has been working with people in post withdrawal since her own recovery in 2006. She mentions that she's dealt with over 6,000 people, mostly those who are protracted (we are not--thank you Lord!). She said that every one that she's spoke to has recovered -- ALL of them.

 

Ian Singleton (my personal favorite!) has been a withdrawal specialist for the Bristol Tranquilizer Project for over twenty years, since his own (protracted) recovery. They work with over 300 persons in post withdrawal per year (times twenty years = 6,000+ individuals). He says EVERY SINGLE ONE has recovered. EVERY time.

 

Melanie Davis is the Manager of Camden's REST Project for over twenty years. (Which means, again, experience with a LOT of people in post withdrawal.) She says, as well, that she's never seen anyone not recover in all her experience.

 

If you watch the interviews, you will hear them say it for yourself.

 

Ian also has his recovery story on the website -- he says it again in there that we ALL recover.

 

For me, it speaks credibility that they have worked with tens of thousands (collectively), all at different organizations, and the all three individually say the same thing: we all heal. I know when reading of those of us in the "heat" of the battle, and hear their doubts and fears expressed, it is tempting to hear those things and think incorrectly and/or irrationally about recovery. I constantly have to keep this in mind, and also protect myself from things that tempt me in the wrong directions. When one is in the heat of it, their perspective may be temporarily limited to it. Does that make sense? (I hope!)

 

Lisa, these are just things I'm working on applying in my life They may or may not pertain or relate to your situation. In my personal but humble opinion: you're doing just fine You're in your sixth month, which is commonly known for a "bugger" of a month for many in withdrawal Also, you've had "windows" along the way -- this is a very good thing Currently, the past couple weeks have been a tough wave where I've had times of doubts in healing. But ya know? They're just not true. Simple as that I've just been taking an "observer" position in my mind -- sorta hop up on a bar stool in my mind and just calmly observe -- like, "Oh OK, there's that thought. There's this thought -- that's nice. Interesting." Etc. I "welcome" the wrong thoughts in and just allow them to "be". Dr. Claire Weekes talks about this (welcoming and accepting, etc). There are four audio clips of hers found here that are "streamable": http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/Relax.html If you scroll down a bit, they are labeled "How To Recover From Anxiety". I found them helpful That, and her accent is cute and makes me giggle

 

Anyways, I hope there is something in this that has at least encouraged you some I'm not one to offer advice, of course -- these are just some things that have helped me along my journey I hope you're feeling better by the time you're reading this -- I'm believing it to happen! Take care buddy, you are healing

 

Mrs.

[[be...]]

Hi all, been trying to read some of your posts as I'm starting to pull out of this wave. It was bad.

I saw mommy r went to the hospital for rapid heartbeat, is she ok? I remember in xanax w/d I was admitted to the hospital twice for rapid heartbeat. They gave me inderal to slow it down and I went home with a script for it. I had to take it for many months into my recovery and then gradually tapered off it. I also remember the nurse there showing me how to slow my heartbeat. If you hold your breath and bare down like you are having a baby or a bowel movement your heart will slow. Also sleeping on your left side will slow it. Rapid heartbeat is very hard to live with and I am noticing improvment in that department.

I know you all are having it so very rough, please know that I'm thinking of you all everyday.

Yes mrsalw, we all heal in time!!!!

If you are able, look up at the moon tonight, nothing special going on with it, just really absorb yourself in it before bed.

Many hugs and much healing.

[[Co...]]

For every single one of us in z wave...please go to the Success Stories and read Analog 1's story. It is stupendous! !!....long....and worth every word. Beautifully written and so encredibly encouraging...chronicles every phase he went through...great concrete information woven in...

.......hope everyone is doing ok today....coop

[[Sk...]]

@[Be...]

 

on more frivolous issues, the wrinkles and weight gain are both provoked by our high cortisol levels. Should leave when better, whenever that might be.

[[Fr...]]

Thanks MRS for your kind words of support.

 

I had a nice window again yesterday, not perfect, still some nerve pain in my legs, but I felt cheerful and walked outside with my son, made my sons breakfast, did some artwork, then at bedtime I felt my nervous system act up.  I am really sick today mostly in bed in pain, nerve pain, which is the worst if you ask me.  Coping is so tough.

 

So did Ian Singleton say everyone heals?  What has been the longest time span?  I feel like my symptoms are on the far worst category and that really scares me.  I can cope with a lot but constant pain and overactive nerves get to me.  I get hopeless.

 

If I only knew for sure this is wd, not lyme and that for everyone wd goes away maybe I'd be more at peace with the process.

 

When I'm this sick I don't know if my body will make it.  I am losing weight from the sheer bodily stress of it.  I can't eat enough and wish I could eat some sugar but don't .

 

Beulah, I'm glad you're coming out of that wave.

 

But what is a wave anyhow?  I only have sick and non-sick, no baseline that I can detect.  It's a wave alright, up and down, up an down, up and down.  And when the up starts downward it's full of panic for me because I know where it's headed.

 

My oldest son just went back to Chicago where he lives for now.  My youngest is still here till Tuesday.  They worry about me and this morning I saw the love and concern in my husband's eyes as I go through this.  He sees how much I'm suffering.

 

I'm reading the new Testament right now and jotting passages in my journal.  I stopped all makeup and hair dye, am accepting this as best I can.  Have any of you read Monica Cassani's blog.  I do like how she recommends accepting this illness and not fighting it anymore.  I can do that.  It's the pain that's throwing me as well as the unnerving nerve stuff.

 

If I knew of something safe to take that would help indefinitely I'd take it, but I know nothing like that exists.

 

I love you all and wish complete healing for everyone.  I look here most days for a bit, but am quietly sad when I'm real sick and don;t know what to say.

 

Joel Osteen says to petition God based on the promises of his scripture so I'm doing that too.

 

Is MommyR out of the hospital?

 

Lisa

[[je...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Sounds like a lot of you are wavy today. I'm feeling very depressed today its hormone related, but still its pretty bad -- the hopeless depression. I don't think mommyr went to the hospital, if you read her last post it says she wanted to go to the hospital because the palps were so bad. Green- thanks for sharing your friends journey with us, that is very encouraging. Love to all of you, jenny

[[li...]]

HI everyone... look we are all going to make it... The average time is 14 month. These symptoms really do suck -- point blank. They suck. Now with that in mind I think that we have to understand that we are in waves and our thinking is going to be negative. For me I have spent months in more windows than waves and then all the sudden this wave hits of 4 months. Is it true that big healing comes after a major wave? Is it? Please... make it so. I want to shed light on my "reinstatement" comment... I was so feeling bad that I fantasied but that is a fantasy that I will never want to come true.. anything for hope the mind says....

 

Today I saw a post of someone that is I think 16 months out and sounding like he is going to quit... It's on the main post w/d thread... I do not think that this is a wise decision but the point is he is spending time on the protracted sight and getting negative feedback loop. I think we all need to focus on the positives which is what happiness by in large if we wait. I like that Coop suggested a link to a success story.

 

Now here is the kicker for me... maybe some of you may be able to help. I know that the only reason that I am in a wave is that I am going through a very stressful outside event ...an event that if anyone was to go through it that is "normal" he or she would be stressed. So here I am thinking that this outside event is gong to keep me in a wave until it is concluded on 3 months and that just frightens me. What do I do... there is nothing I can do to change the event.

 

Life

[[li...]]

...four week wave that is (not four months).

[[be...]]

Ahhh, Lisa, I'm sorry you're suffering so much back and fourth.

I can tell you what my wave felt like. My brain locked up, acute symptoms, the feeling of never going to heal, for days.Nausea, dizziness, head pain, nerve pain in hips, legs, and butt. The usual depression and intrusive thoughts that go along with every wave.

When I come out of a wave now, I am able to recognize it is withdrawal, I'm not dying. I still suffer greatly out of a wave, it's just easier to manage as time passes.It's hard to explain but as more time passes you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

As the mind heals so do the physical symptoms.

I also lost a lot of weight and I have just recently put on seven pounds, that means my nervous system is calming down. Yes, I want sugar everyday, still can't have it, a bite of ice cream or frozen yogurt here and there.

We will all heal!!!!  Hugs.

[[li...]]

Ahhh, Lisa, I'm sorry you're suffering so much back and fourth.

I can tell you what my wave felt like. My brain locked up, acute symptoms, the feeling of never going to heal, for days.Nausea, dizziness, head pain, nerve pain in hips, legs, and butt. The usual depression and intrusive thoughts that go along with every wave.

When I come out of a wave now, I am able to recognize it is withdrawal, I'm not dying. I still suffer greatly out of a wave, it's just easier to manage as time passes.It's hard to explain but as more time passes you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

As the mind heals so do the physical symptoms.

I also lost a lot of weight and I have just recently put on seven pounds, that means my nervous system is calming down. Yes, I want sugar everyday, still can't have it, a bite of ice cream or frozen yogurt here and there.

We will all heal!!!!  Hugs.

 

Love your attitude! Yes we will heal....

 

God just make it easier on us please Lord! Make it so that we can have bearable symptoms when we are in waves and great attitudes when we are in Windows ... make it so that we all have one more last window that never closes and remains open. In Jesus name! Amen!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

I

[[Sk...]]

HI everyone... look we are all going to make it... The average time is 14 month. These symptoms really do suck -- point blank. They suck. Now with that in mind I think that we have to understand that we are in waves and our thinking is going to be negative. For me I have spent months in more windows than waves and then all the sudden this wave hits of 4 months. Is it true that big healing comes after a major wave? Is it? Please... make it so. I want to shed light on my "reinstatement" comment... I was so feeling bad that I fantasied but that is a fantasy that I will never want to come true.. anything for hope the mind says....

 

Today I saw a post of someone that is I think 16 months out and sounding like he is going to quit... It's on the main post w/d thread... I do not think that this is a wise decision but the point is he is spending time on the protracted sight and getting negative feedback loop. I think we all need to focus on the positives which is what happiness by in large if we wait. I like that Coop suggested a link to a success story.

 

Now here is the kicker for me... maybe some of you may be able to help. I know that the only reason that I am in a wave is that I am going through a very stressful outside event ...an event that if anyone was to go through it that is "normal" he or she would be stressed. So here I am thinking that this outside event is gong to keep me in a wave until it is concluded on 3 months and that just frightens me. What do I do... there is nothing I can do to change the event.

 

Life

 

Life, when you talked about reinstatement, it simply gave me the measure of your suffering. You are the one that, until a few months ago, seemed to be healing faster.

 

I would much rather you talk about it and vent.

 

But of course it is a remark that scares us. We are not even in the best state to catch nuances or more subtle comments at this time.

What you said voices thoughts that I think  we might be  all having about Protracted. Other buddies know how much this thought scares me constantly.

But these thoughts are not really helpful are they ?

 

After last night I decided to quit reading, for the time being, Dr Jennifer's blog, until she gets better it is too much for me, what she is going through, is simply awful. I love the blog but some thoughts are too hard for me to bear and my well being is more important.

 

Anyway, thanks for making us think and discuss this elephant in the room.

 

About advice about how to cope with the stress you are going through, I really do not dare. What helps me enormously is helping and giving.

Teaching gets my mind off wd, but I can do so little, after 1 hour I have to quit. BUt then I am fine for the day. Heaven knows how Peace is managing.

Something similarly engrossing, where somebody else' s problems are involved and not yours, might help you but much has to do with your personality.

I am also planning to  volunteer taking out dogs at a dog shelter. Now more than ever before, I want to give, even though I can give so little, actually.

 

I hope this helps but maybe you had something more practical in mind ?

 

I have to go to bed, it is late here, it is almost midnight.

 

Wishing everybody some respite .

[[li...]]

sky thank you so much for wonderful recommendations. I bleiev taht my life lack structure... I get up and go to the gym and then what?? I think that is a big problem for me... I have too much time on my hands. If I ever had to do this all over again ( God forbid please) I would definitely have a regular routine i.e. a job or place of work I go to. For me it was not possible when I started this taper. In many way great things have happened to me in this w/d -- financially and emotionally. I believe I am going to look back at these times and come away thinking two things 1.) How on earth did I ever do this? 2.) I am a much better person because of it. I really believe that.

 

In terms of protracted I really do not ever read those stories. We already believe in a wave that we are not going to get better ever ( even if we had a window a day ago) so why add fuel to the fire by reading stories of people that your worst wave will have you believe is for you? Waves are hard enough without the added burden of protracted stories. Good that you moved on from that blog.

 

Your recommendations were great Sky. I will go tomorrow to volunteer at a Church or something. Sky you seem like a wonderful lady. You seem to have a wonderful husband. It s great to hear from people from all over the world. Thank you.

 

Life

[[Co...]]

Life, I am also feeling regret ...and embarrassment about going public with my ' magic pill ' fantasy. I think my wish was for that first week on benzos when it was still a ' miracle ' potion. When I took it my anxiety vanished...for maybe 2 weeks before I started having problems with it. I wasn't truly wanting to reinstate ...and I am so sorry I splashed that implication all over the page....For the ones who were disheartened and discouraged by my insensitive post I so apologize. Life, I think it was the relief that we were wishing for...not at all the drug.

....Life, read Analog 's success story if you haven't....it is one of the best ..." Healing After Seven Months In A Coma "....it is so good it should be a book. ...

.....I am where you are Life...a long wave after 10 months a a couple of really nice windows. I am just tired tired of the ups and downs and all arounds...if the ups and downs and all arounds are close to my baseline I can handle it, but this wave is full of acute s/x and scary physical junk...my Achilles Heel.

.........Having said all of that things are better today...not baseline, but better better than yesterday. Getting off the propanolol has helped the crazed anxiety ( paradoxical reaction?). I am still dizzy but more easily convinced today that it is w/d. ...I am not really functional today but not in terror every moment. I am giving myself permission. to lay around and work on CBT, relaxation breathing, try concentrating on s sitcom ( sounds exactly like acute...hopefully the last ' acute '....Here is the GOOD NEWS...its not a lot, but it is something...I had a brief window this morning when I took the dog out...beautiful early fall breezy morning...it faded in the late morning but no panics and manageable anxiety and able to concentrate...

........Green, Jenny, Lisa and Life...we fawn all use some positivity but the truth of is,  I think, all the rahrshrah right now seems to take a little too much mental energy ..and frankly rings a little worn out for me on this day...BUT...I feel supported, safe, picking up a little hope, ..better than yesterday, ...a few days shy of month 10...still alive....still benzo free...wonderful friends and support on BBs....not a lot of rahrahrah...but still alot of survival.  and tons of. collective survival.....

........Today I know that whatever it takes I can do this a few more months....yesterday I did not know that.....We will all heal...I really believe that. We may get there battered and worn out and brutised...but we will bind each others wounds and walk over the top of that mountain...coop

[[...]]

I agree nothing good comes from reading the protracted blogs! I don't go near them!!

 

Life, I also agree that structure is so important! I couldn't work up till now either. I quit my job before I knew I was in withdrawal, just thought I was dying or something close to it! Now I am starting a new, full time, job on Tuesday!

 

I'm not completely healed yet, but I think that I'm well enough along that to have that structure will help me. I can't spend my days here at home thinking about this all the time, I need to get my mind off of it!

 

Be well all!

 

[[Co...]]

Buelah...so glad to hear that you are pulling away from your wave...gives the rest of us hope...You deserve it dear friend....lead the way...your peeps are following...does the dizziness ever let up? ...I am beginning to think mine might be a recurrence of my labrythinitis ..or Menniers or whatever my ENT is calling it..twitchy eye...but that happens in w/d too...realty doesn't make a difference...we can wear ourselves into the ground with all the ' what ifs '..

.....Keep it going Beulah....love to you friend...coop

[[li...]]

SO TRUE GMIT! Good for you -- it will add structure. I know that Peace will be writing her success story by December and I think it will be due to her job structure. I agree -- structure gets us out of our heads.

 

Life

[[...]]

Yes, it's scary! But time! If I feel I NEED more, I have to listen! I'll let you know how I do next week!

 

[[Co...]]

Mommy...so so sorry about your scary night. Check out the Heart Palps thread on this board. They talk about all things heart. It is do scary when our hearts misbehave and drag us into the er. Did you go to er? ...My wave is similar ..big b/p spikes instead of racing heart...I wanted to go to go er myself yesterday ..absolutely convinced my panic,  spiked b/,p and dizziness was a heart attack ( I have ' had ' about 6 now...lol). ..Somehow I was able to accept it as fear and panic and tried to let it be..I always think, " yes I know I have had umpteen phantom heart attacks...but THIS one is really IT!! ....You would think by now I would get it. 50 years from now I will have a heart attack and say, "...See, I TOLD you I was having heart attacks " lol...

....I am so glad that your hubby was with you. Did your heart rate settle?...Have you had a cardiac study,? ...Sometimes its a huge peace of mind to have one just to be reassured. I try to tell myself that I will take a hot lavender epsome salt bath soak before going to er. I have been twice just sure I was dying..It resolved as panic each time ...but took days to recover from the trauma.

.......Mommy...I hope you rested today and got your feet back under you...bless your hubby...do glad that you are ok...love to you...coop

[[mr...]]

Now here is the kicker for me... maybe some of you may be able to help. I know that the only reason that I am in a wave is that I am going through a very stressful outside event ...an event that if anyone was to go through it that is "normal" he or she would be stressed. So here I am thinking that this outside event is gong to keep me in a wave until it is concluded on 3 months and that just frightens me. What do I do... there is nothing I can do to change the event.

Life

 

Life,

 

I can relate to needing to deal with life during withdrawal.  I will share some things I've done and applied in dealing with the "life" events that unfold while we are in withdrawal.

 

One thing that I realized is, with some things, I cannot control them.  I simply cannot.  Realizing this helps me to also realize that it is "unfair" for my brain/body to inflict/react with symptoms and stress.  If it were something I was "causing", then understandable -- but with things that are out of my hands, not fair.  This realization allows me to "submit" to whatever happens, and however I might feel.  I cannot control it, so...so be it.  Whatever happens, will happen.  I surrender to it.  (if that makes sense?)

 

Another thing that "grounds" me is to talk to someone close to me that is very good with keeping a "non-emotional" and "logical" view of things.  My husband is this for me -- he is an excellent problem-solver, and he is good at sorta "snapping" me back into reality.  I'll share a "concern" of mine with him, and even sometimes just hearing me say it out loud makes me realize pretty quickly how silly the "concern" is -- and then I realize it's just withdrawal.  If that also makes sense

 

Another thing has been to "walk it out" with a line of questioning, that follows:

 

Concern: ___________________________________________

 

1.) Is this realistic?:

 

2.) What is your evidence for those thoughts?:

 

3.) What is truly the "worst case scenario"?:

 

4.) How likely is this feared outcome?:

 

5.) What are some more realistic thoughts and outcomes?:

 

 

I don't know if these things can help you, Life, but I thought I'd post them  

 

If it counts for anything, I don't believe you'll get "stuck" in a wave.  I also don't believe that the wave you're in currently is "because of" your life situation -- you might experience some "peaks" in symptoms at times, but the wave you're in is because you're healing from withdrawal!  I also believe it is GOOD for us to have some "stress" to deal with while in withdrawal.  I realize that not everyone feels this way, lol, but I want to put myself in some situations where I can grow from it.  Realistically, Life -- if you did not want to deal with this, you wouldn't.  You know?  I've heard it taught at the business seminars that my husband and I used to attend: People do exactly what they want to do.  It may not have been a situation you sought out yourself, true, but it is a situation you are choosing to deal with -- which is AWESOME.  Some people, even completely healthy, would still choose to "run" from it, you know?  You are BRAVE and RESPONSIBLE and COURAGEOUS for being willing to walk it out.  And if you choose to put yourself into it, in order to grow through it, rather than something you "have to" do, it becomes a new and exciting opportunity to move forward, and something that is your choice to do, and not an opportunity for a "wave" if that makes sense.  I've read many of Northofhere's past posts -- worked fulltime with a 1 hour commute each way, went to grad school (also commuted an hour each way), traveled etc -- also did a lot of "firsts" during the acute phase of withdrawal, including an artwork presentation in front of a large classroom, surgery, biopsy, driving 6-7-8 hours for a vacation visit, etc -- I draw strength from a courageous person like that.  No excuses, and just did it despite the feelings and withdrawal -- wow! 

 

Again, no worries if some of these perspectives do not relate with your situation, Life.  Nothing is for everyone, and I believe that no matter what, you will do just great throughout this and you will figure it out   Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

[[Fr...]]

Beulah, I can't wait until that day comes for me when I am able to cope better with the wd.  Thanks for those words of encouragement and I'm happy you're out of that wave.

 

Sky, I too, read her blog and feel so badly for her but her pain is so much and so unfair.  I hope she heals soon.  It scares me because I have the pain symptoms she has.

 

I may have to take Elavil for a while because the pain is getting to me in the waves.  The good news is that I do have windows.  Today has been rough, all day in bed and totally uncomfortable.  My head tonight hurts badly from pressure so a bath is in store next and hopefully that will ease things.

 

Life, I'm sorry you're having all those life stressors.  I often wonder if the stressors make wd worse or it wd creates the emphasis on the stressors.  I have looping perfectionistic thoughts and wonder which causes which.  The chicken or the egg?

 

Time for a bath then back to laying down.

 

Hard to believe yesterday was so nice.  Hopefully tomorrow will see all of us feeling better.

 

L.

[[Be...]]

Well, lookie here!  Today is my 11-month anniversary! 

 

This month has been a bit rough, but overall I've seen major sustained improvements since the 8-month mark.  The random bursts of anxiety and obsessive thoughts are gone and the depression is much improved.  I'm stuck in an anhedonia state where I feel nothing emotionally, but it's still a relief after the last year of constant panic.  My cognitive functioning is nearly back to normal too.

 

Symptoms that still remain:

 

Benzo belly (bloating, constipation)

Absent sex drive

Increased appetite/weight gain

Horrid PMS and menstrual cramps

 

For anyone feeling hopeless or scared, hang in there!  When things finally start getting better it feels amazing.  And it WILL get better. 

 

[[li...]]

Now here is the kicker for me... maybe some of you may be able to help. I know that the only reason that I am in a wave is that I am going through a very stressful outside event ...an event that if anyone was to go through it that is "normal" he or she would be stressed. So here I am thinking that this outside event is gong to keep me in a wave until it is concluded on 3 months and that just frightens me. What do I do... there is nothing I can do to change the event.

Life

 

Life,

 

I can relate to needing to deal with life during withdrawal.  I will share some things I've done and applied in dealing with the "life" events that unfold while we are in withdrawal.

 

One thing that I realized is, with some things, I cannot control them.  I simply cannot.  Realizing this helps me to also realize that it is "unfair" for my brain/body to inflict/react with symptoms and stress.  If it were something I was "causing", then understandable -- but with things that are out of my hands, not fair.  This realization allows me to "submit" to whatever happens, and however I might feel.  I cannot control it, so...so be it.  Whatever happens, will happen.  I surrender to it.  (if that makes sense?)

 

Another thing that "grounds" me is to talk to someone close to me that is very good with keeping a "non-emotional" and "logical" view of things.  My husband is this for me -- he is an excellent problem-solver, and he is good at sorta "snapping" me back into reality.  I'll share a "concern" of mine with him, and even sometimes just hearing me say it out loud makes me realize pretty quickly how silly the "concern" is -- and then I realize it's just withdrawal.  If that also makes sense

 

Another thing has been to "walk it out" with a line of questioning, that follows:

 

Concern: ___________________________________________

 

1.) Is this realistic?:

 

2.) What is your evidence for those thoughts?:

 

3.) What is truly the "worst case scenario"?:

 

4.) How likely is this feared outcome?:

 

5.) What are some more realistic thoughts and outcomes?:

 

 

I don't know if these things can help you, Life, but I thought I'd post them  

 

If it counts for anything, I don't believe you'll get "stuck" in a wave.  I also don't believe that the wave you're in currently is "because of" your life situation -- you might experience some "peaks" in symptoms at times, but the wave you're in is because you're healing from withdrawal!  I also believe it is GOOD for us to have some "stress" to deal with while in withdrawal.  I realize that not everyone feels this way, lol, but I want to put myself in some situations where I can grow from it.  Realistically, Life -- if you did not want to deal with this, you wouldn't.  You know?  I've heard it taught at the business seminars that my husband and I used to attend: People do exactly what they want to do.  It may not have been a situation you sought out yourself, true, but it is a situation you are choosing to deal with -- which is AWESOME.  Some people, even completely healthy, would still choose to "run" from it, you know?  You are BRAVE and RESPONSIBLE and COURAGEOUS for being willing to walk it out.  And if you choose to put yourself into it, in order to grow through it, rather than something you "have to" do, it becomes a new and exciting opportunity to move forward, and something that is your choice to do, and not an opportunity for a "wave" if that makes sense.  I've read many of Northofhere's past posts -- worked fulltime with a 1 hour commute each way, went to grad school (also commuted an hour each way), traveled etc -- also did a lot of "firsts" during the acute phase of withdrawal, including an artwork presentation in front of a large classroom, surgery, biopsy, driving 6-7-8 hours for a vacation visit, etc -- I draw strength from a courageous person like that.  No excuses, and just did it despite the feelings and withdrawal -- wow! 

 

Again, no worries if some of these perspectives do not relate with your situation, Life.  Nothing is for everyone, and I believe that no matter what, you will do just great throughout this and you will figure it out   Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs, you are amazing.... IT all makes sense and it all is relevant. Thank you so much for this post. I will have to refer to it more than one.

 

Life