My lifes over - need ur opinion specially females

[[le...]]

WOW! Ive been gone for a while and i come back to see how things are around here and this is one of the first threads i see! All i can say is WOW! what has this forum come to! LOL!    This is a real strange predicament I don't believe Ive ever had this problem.  I'm 6'4" and i cant imagine mine being less than 8" 

 

Lexi

[Guest [to...]]

[[Mo...]]

just shows, nature isn't fair. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[[Ch...]]

 

i also think it's good and fine to talk about penis', vagina's boobies and like like. it was just the way the original post was written using the worked "fucked" and so forth. i'm not saying that the OP was trying to be offensive, just a little shocked that the mods allowed the words to be the way they were.

 

I understand where your coming from, daisys. I'll let the mods speak for themself, but i suspect they let the f word slide because someone who just went through that, probably isn't thinking about forum rules (esp since many forums don't mind that) and speaking up with the language was probably a catharsis for him. He seemed to be reaching out; if he wanted only to be vulgar, he clearly could have went way  more overboard. What i saw was just someone  hurt, reaching out, needing support. It wouldn't Make sense to throw  a wounded person away - lock the post and isolate them - just because they broke a technicality in the rules while clearly in pain. That's encouraging relapse, or other things, and not our misson.

 

That's my own take, and i applaud the mods for letting it go.

That's pretty much where we are with this.  Well said, tor.

[[Fa...]]

WOW! Ive been gone for a while and i come back to see how things are around here and this is one of the first threads i see! All i can say is WOW! what has this forum come to! LOL!    This is a real strange predicament I don't believe Ive ever had this problem.  I'm 6'4" and i cant imagine mine being less than 8" 

 

Lexi

Everyone on the internet has at least 8 inches. ;-)

[[Co...]]

I don't know why members are so confused and/or unaware of the rules regarding profanity. Although the exact policy has shifted over time, sometimes because different Admins have applied differing standards, there have always been some general rules about swearing at this forum. For consistency, and because I thought it best to apply more reasoned requirements, I decided to included a specific rule and explanation quite some time ago.

 

I no longer have a copy of the original set of rules, but I do have them going back to 2007.

 

[DEPRECATED] Rules & Guidelines for the BenzoBuddies Community:

 

No swearing, disguised or otherwise.

 

[DEPRECATED] Rules & Guidelines for the BenzoBuddies Community:

 

You must not knowingly post false statements, nor obscene, vulgar, sexually-orientated, hateful or threatening comments/material. Additionally, your contributions must not violate the laws of the United Kingdom, the United States of America, or the laws of your own country.

 

Note the inclusion of 'vulgar comments' in the above rule.

 

[DEPRECATED] Rules & Guidelines for the BenzoBuddies Community:

 

You must not knowingly post false statements, nor obscene, vulgar, sexually-orientated, hateful or threatening comments/material. The posting of profanity - disguised or otherwise - is not allowed*. Additionally, your contributions must not violate the laws of the United Kingdom, the United States of America, or the laws of your own country.

 

*Do not take advantage of any leniency we might show in regard to the posting of profane comments as a green light to post more of the same.

 

 

[DEPRECATED] Rules & Guidelines for the BenzoBuddies Community:

 

Please do not post profanity - disguised or otherwise - at this forum. Members will have differing sensitivities to the use of swear words, so it is better to avoid their use altogether. The use of profanity can also contribute to a less calm atmosphere. If a swear word is mild and infrequent, or if the member is particularly upset at the time, we might choose to let the rule infraction go unchallenged. Do not take any such examples of such leniency as a green light to post more of the same.

 

[PRESENT] Rules & Guidelines for the BenzoBuddies Community:

 

Please do not post profanity - disguised or otherwise - at this forum. Members will have differing sensitivities to the use of swear words, so it is better to avoid their use altogether. The use of profanity can also contribute to a less calm atmosphere. If a swear word is mild and infrequent, or if the member is particularly upset at the time, we might choose to let the rule infraction go unchallenged. Do not take any such examples of such leniency as a green light to post more of the same.

 

So, there have always been rules against the use profanity, and a quite detailed explanation since Oct. 2012. An absolute ban against the use of profanity has not existed since at least Oct. 2012, arguably since Dec. 2010, and, actually, as I recall, we usually applied some common sense in applying the rule from the very beginning.

 

Ah, and I've just found some very old guidance from a former BB Admin to the moderators, dating from 2006:

 

“No swearing, disguised or otherwise.” We try to be very lenient with this rule. An occasional swear word here and there merits no concern. If a post is loaded with swear words, you should either edit the swear words out by using the ‘Modify’ feature or simply remove the post.

 

In short, although I would prefer for members to always avoid the use of profanity at this forum, the emotional context in which the opening post to this thread was made means that there was no 'moderation issue' here. However, what is a moderation issue is that a number of members have ignored the emotional plight of the original poster, Pity Klonopin, by going completely off-topic and violating the following rule (which has always existed in one form or another):

 

You must not knowingly post false statements, nor obscene, vulgar, sexually-orientated, hateful or threatening comments/material. Additionally, your contributions must not violate the laws of the United Kingdom, the United States of America, nor the laws of your own country.

 

The above does not prohibit the discussion of sexual dysfunction, nor emotional problems around the subject of sex. But, discussions about 'sex' itself, and (sexual) vulgarities are not allowed here. The reasons for the rule should be obvious, but for those who seem oblivious to such social norms: would you make such comments in real-world mixed company, or in front of strangers? The answer should be 'no'! BB tries to cater to as wide an audience as possible. So, any more sexually orientated material will result in posting restrictions for the offending account holders.

[[pr...]]

    I understand where your coming from, daisys. I'll let the mods speak for themself, but i suspect they let the f word slide because someone who just went through that, probably isn't thinking about forum rules (esp since many forums don't mind that) and speaking up with the language was probably a catharsis for him. He seemed to be reaching out; if he wanted only to be vulgar, he clearly could have went way  more overboard. What i saw was just someone  hurt, reaching out, needing support. It wouldn't Make sense to throw  a wounded person away - lock the post and isolate them - just because they broke a technicality in the rules while clearly in pain. That's encouraging relapse, or other things, and not our misson.

 

    That's my own take, and i applaud the mods for letting it go.

 

That's pretty much where we are with this.  Well said, tor.

 

i don't think i was clear -- just because i was shocked (at first) when i read the opening post doesn't mean it didn't make me feel kinda happy to see this kind of openness talk allowed on here.

 

[[Ka...]]

I'm truly afraid to comment at all now...

[[pr...]]

I'm truly afraid to comment at all now...

 

why? don't be

 

it's all withdrawal! i'm learning that. everything i go through and every thought is affected by this withdrawal and one day it will be all over.

[[Ka...]]

That's not what I meant, it's nothing to do regarding w/d, it's about being afraid to say the wrong thing and getting reprimanded.

[[pr...]]

That's not what I meant, it's nothing to do regarding w/d, it's about being afraid to say the wrong thing and getting reprimanded.

 

i understand! you didn't say anything wrong. i felt like you do too.

[[Be...]]

Well, if nobody made mistakes on forums there'd be no need for rules and moderators.

 

Sometimes people just say what's on their mind without thinking of the implications.  That's just human.

 

 

B

[[...]]

Since the penis is something a lot of guys worry about, it is the first thing an angry girlfriend will say hurtful things about. Doesn't say anything about you at all and you should tell her it's over. She wanted to hurt you, and that doesn't belong in a relationship.

 

But I don't agree at all with all generalisations about women don't really caring about sex and penis size. Of course we do, women also need to be attracted to a man to have sex. Women who are secure about themselves and don't care about gender roles will admit what they like in bed, and some will like a bigger penis, just like men sometimes prefer small breasts or bigger breasts.

 

 

[[Be...]]

But I don't agree at all with all generalisations about women don't really caring about sex and penis size.

 

Sorry to sound like a nitpicker, Nema,

 

But this is a generalisation about women itself as it isn't true of all women:

Of course we do, women also need to be attracted to a man to have sex.

 

In context of the OP's question, the context of the answers given are meant to mean that in general women don't choose guys based on their penis size.. not that none of them have preferences.

 

 

B

[[...]]

But I don't agree at all with all generalisations about women don't really caring about sex and penis size.

 

Sorry to sound like a nitpicker, Nema,

 

But this is a generalisation about women itself as it isn't true of all women:

Of course we do, women also need to be attracted to a man to have sex.

 

In context of the OP's question, the context of the answers given are meant to mean that in general women don't choose guys based on their penis size.. not that none of them have preferences.

 

 

B

You're right, I thought so myself when I was writing it down, sorry 

 

But I couldn't live with a man that couldn't fulfill my sexual needs, since when we choose to have sex with only one partner, it has to be fulfilling. I believe because of gender roles a lot of women are afraid to talk about what they want in bed. Afraid of being a slut. I think it's better in general for both men and women to be clear about any wishes, since it could prevent problems in the future. That being said, I think the girlfriend in this story just wanted to be mean.

[[Be...]]

You're right, I thought so myself when I was writing it down, sorry 

Lol it's ok.  It's hard not to sound like we're generalising over stuff like this.  And I am nitpicker anyway

 

 

But I couldn't live with a man that couldn't fulfill my sexual needs, since when we choose to have sex with only one partner, it has to be fulfilling. I believe because of gender roles a lot of women are afraid to talk about what they want in bed. Afraid of being a slut. I think it's better in general for both men and women to be clear about any wishes, since it could prevent problems in the future. That being said, I think the girlfriend in this story just wanted to be mean.

Yep agreed, on all points.

 

Didn't they used to say "you don't buy a house without checking the plumbing" to refer to not getting married before you'd done a sexual compatibility check?

 

 

B

[[ba...]]

pity klonopin i hope you find another girl ok

[[Bu...]]

This thread has staying power. 

[Guest [to...]]

I feel that those of you on here who are having fun with the post without the involvement of the OP, are disrespecting the OP.I'm sure you don't intend that, but please place yourself in OP's shoes and see how you feel if this thread is "funny" and determine if you're joking with him, not AT him. IMO, joke WITH is fine, but keeping this going for your own amusement is insensitive at best.

 

I haven't heard from the OP since this....has anyone???

 

I'm quite honestly ashamed at some of you on these boards, and not the ones who tend to get the flack, either.  Rather, those of you who I've commonly seen on your high horse. You don't belong on it.

 

-tor

 

 

 

[[Di...]]

This thread has staying power. 

 

It surely does! Possibly the lack of was the original problem here... I'll be here all week...LoL

 

Was that absolutely necessary? Haven't the mods already stepped in a couple of times on this thread? It was even closed temporarily because of the insensitive comments that were being made. Perhaps a little more compassion and a little less poking fun might be nice.

[[Ka...]]

We all are going through hell with this Diaz-pam and torbjorn. Can we not be so reactive here? I was just trying to lighten up a little. The OP disappeared long ago... we have not heard a peep from him. I was not trying to keep this thread going personally and I did not think there was any danger of upsetting him since he seemed to have left. If I did OP, I apologize.

 

I have officially been slapped on the wrist, I will try to remain grim. 

 

 

[[Di...]]

How do you know he's left the thread? Maybe he's reading it every day, but has chosen not to respond. I still don't believe it gives anyone the right to poke fun at someone else's problem.

[[Be...]]

I think this thread has run its course and runs the risk of sliding in the wrong direction again, and with the OP no longer taking active participation it's time to give it another breather.

 

It may be reopened by another moderator at some time or if the OP specifically requests to continue discussing the original issue.

 

Play nice, folks, and let's not allow any bad feeling to be carried into other threads.

 

 

B

[[Be...]]

Ok, Pity has requested we re-open the thread for him to continue with his original discussion.

 

I'm pointing no fingers here, but I think everyone posting in it would be grateful if we could stay on topic.  I'm sure we all have our respective feelings on the way it's side-tracked so far but if we remember the OP's issue and stick to sensible discussions surrounding that then there shouldn't be a problem for anyone.  For any offensive posts that we hope won't surface, please use the 'Report this post' function and one of the staff will handle it.

 

Thanks for your cooperation guys,

 

 

B

[[Pi...]]

This is not a ppace for all of us to chat, id appreciate if you directed most of your comments to me instead of each other.. I dont want to sound selfish but i created this thread for support on my benzo issues.. There are many other places in this forum for other issues. With that said, im very grateful for all of the attention you guys gave me through this problem. Disregarding the off topic comments, you guys have really helped me suffer less during this phase.

 

I believe me talking about penis size is part of my wd sxs. People do get self conscious and obsessive, and if we were to cut out sensitive subjects such as sex or personal anatomy, wed be missing on a very important chunk of our worries, and hide them inside the carpet bc the forum prosecutes us for talking about it, or bc we have no support for such matters.

 

Clearly this is not the case, and the sexual matter has obviously been accepted by the forum in its context. I will keep on asking about anatomy as i please, as long as its on my topic, since hearing from you guys, specially the older women, makes me feel a lot better. And this forum is about making us feeling a lot better.

 

So as my buddies, id like to request that you answer to what i post and avoid talking to each other on this thread unless strictly necessary - no discussions should be made between you guys here. If you dont agree if a post, let me know, dont argue or play along or make jokes with some other user.

 

Anyways, im glad this thread has reopened. It has sury helped me go through this horrible process in a much smoother way.