My lifes over - need ur opinion specially females

[[Be...]]

I think it's quite possible to offer advice and support to PK without resorting to calling his girlfriend names or making assumptions about her moral character.

 

We have to trust what PK has told us.  Based on that his girlfriend has cheated and been outrageously cruel in the process, and there's no assumption in calling a spade a spade if what he's said is true.

 

There's no justification for cheating on someone as it breaks all the accepted moral standards of what's right and wrong.

 

 

B

[[Fa...]]

There's no justification for cheating on someone as it breaks all the accepted moral standards of what's right and wrong.

 

Not only that, but the shit she said to him is worse than the cheating. She's a hard, cruel human being.

[Guest [Mo...]]

Putting all emotions aside, look at what she's doing. She's running away to get attention. She's obviously insecure, but who isn't. Everyone has a need to feel reassurance. Without it, you feel anxious, and insecure right? I know a couple people like this, and It makes me look at everyone differently. Don't be too quick to judge. Look at what she's doing and saying. Everyone is unique, and no two people are alike. idk

[[Di...]]

When did this become a discussion about double standards? Sure there are double standards, but I don't agree with Florida Guy's explanation of them.

 

Cheating is never acceptable, regardless of who does it. There is never any good reason to do it. No person, male or female, deserves to be cheated on, and the cheater never has a good enough excuse to make it acceptable.

 

If you've gotten to a point in your relationship where cheating is an attractive option to you, then you owe it to your partner to be honest and move on. If you want the option of being able to have sex with whomever you like, then you don't commit to anyone until you are prepared to honour that commitment. There should be no moral judgements of men or women who don't want commitment, and who want to have sex with anyone they like. They only need to be honest about it.

 

 

[[Fl...]]

Well FG that's a new one on me, I've never heard it before.

 

I have been interested in psychology and sociology for years, especially with how the "mating game" works. I have spent quite a bit of time studying how and why we do what we do to meet and secure relationships with the opposite sex. When you look at it from the inside out you can see how brutal it really is. From a scientific standpoint all of these double standards and inconsistencies start to make sense though.

 

Regardless of what side of the argument we're all on (and apparently I'm the only one who has this point of view), I think it's quite possible to offer advice and support to PK without resorting to calling his girlfriend names or making assumptions about her moral character. We don't know her, we're only listening to one side of the story and that's one thing life has sure taught me ... there are usually two.

 

I don't think it helps the situation at all to cast this kind of judgment. Perhaps she has been indiscreet, whatever ...

That doesn't necessarily mean that she is immoral or amoral.

 

I see your point, but I feel like we are all friends here and people are only doing what friend do when they hear that someone they care about was wronged by another person. 

[[Fl...]]

When did this become a discussion about double standards? Sure there are double standards, but I don't agree with Florida Guy's explanation of them.

 

Cheating is never acceptable, regardless of who does it. There is never any good reason to do it. No person, male or female, deserves to be cheated on, and the cheater never has a good enough excuse to make it acceptable.

 

I didn't say cheating was acceptable for anyone, I was merely explaining why the double standard exists.

[[Be...]]

Men's and women's brains work very differently.  Men and women are motivated by different things.  It took me a long time to understand this.  I'll never understand how a man thinks, but I can see now that they think and are motivated by different things than women.  What I do understand is meanness and abusive personalities in both men and women. 

[[Di...]]

When did this become a discussion about double standards? Sure there are double standards, but I don't agree with Florida Guy's explanation of them.

 

Cheating is never acceptable, regardless of who does it. There is never any good reason to do it. No person, male or female, deserves to be cheated on, and the cheater never has a good enough excuse to make it acceptable.

 

I didn't say cheating was acceptable for anyone, I was merely explaining why the double standard exists.

 

I was making two completely different statements. I never said you said cheating was acceptable. I just don't agree with what you wrote about double standards. I have an interest in psychology too, and we differ in our opinions.

[[Ka...]]

Pity K, I apologize for posting something off topic here but just had to comment on Florida Guy's post...he wrote:

 

"The consequences for a woman cheating are far more detrimental to the perpetuation of our species than vice-versa. If a woman cheats and gets pregnant with another man's baby, a man can get stuck supporting someone else's offspring unbeknownst to him. That's genetic suicide, and it is the reason why the double standard exists. This is why women are more willing to forgive sexual indiscretions if they are "meaningless" (if there is no emotional attachment, if it is "just sex") and why it is in the best interest for men not to overlook things like this."

 

I must say FG that you are extremely brave posting this on a board that is populated by mostly women. Not sure how it would help PK and why am I NOT surprised that this is your attitude towards women? I am really surprised no one has ripped you a new one yet. I would do that but I am not up to a battle. All that you wrote to justify the double standard had to be manufactured by men no doubt. Unbelievable!

[[pr...]]

Oh come on people, men have been enamored with big breasts since the beginning of time, why shouldn't women show appreciation for certain male anatomical endowments? There's nothing wrong with it.

 

for myself -- i would like to be with a man whose penis i am attracted to. but if his size were small in the 'esthethic sense' that we're used to -- it would not matter to me if i love the man. i do think that someone saying that to you is mostly merely trying to be a little manipulative and having some kind of power and especially if she's now saying she wants you back.

 

to me, that is all behavior from someone who isn't quite grown up and is not taking any kind of emotional responsibility.

 

you will see everything differently when you don't have anymore withdrawal symptoms/when you're brain is all balanced and healed.

 

 

"The consequences for a woman cheating are far more detrimental to the perpetuation of our species than vice-versa. If a woman cheats and gets pregnant with another man's baby, a man can get stuck supporting someone else's offspring unbeknownst to him. That's genetic suicide, and it is the reason why the double standard exists. This is why women are more willing to forgive sexual indiscretions if they are "meaningless" (if there is no emotional attachment, if it is "just sex") and why it is in the best interest for men not to overlook things like this."

 

this just doesn't even make sense to me. whoever wrote it must be a moron.

 

[[Fa...]]

this just doesn't even make sense to me. whoever wrote it must be a moron.

Actually, it does make sense from an evolutionary psychology perspective, which is prob the way he intended it. I don't assume that he advocates the behavior; he is just repeating a theory that has been widely accepted in the literature.

[[Fl...]]

I must say FG that you are extremely brave posting this on a board that is populated by mostly women. Not sure how it would help PK and why am I NOT surprised that this is your attitude towards women? I am really surprised no one has ripped you a new one yet. I would do that but I am not up to a battle. All that you wrote to justify the double standard had to be manufactured by men no doubt. Unbelievable!

 

I'm not sure why I should have to be afraid to point out that there are logical reasons for certain human behaviors but if you want to blame a certain gender for some kind of perceived injustice without any desire to learn about the possibility of a scientific basis behind behind it, there really isn't much else I can say.

 

 

 

 

[[Pi...]]

So i told u guys she wanted to get back with me after all this BS. So yesterday she kept calling and I answered my cel. She said she wanted to come see me and talk abt everything and that she was sorry and did everything bc she was insecure in relation to our relationship. So I saw a way of paying back her coin but in an honorable way obviously, im no dickhead like she is.

 

So i said she could come over but only for sex, and that shed leave afterwards. Since she thinks i cant live without her, she came after agreeing with the terms but she was sure id take her back after seeing her.

 

So i probably did one of the most ambitious sexual intercourse in my life, just so that I could make her feel pleasure beyond measure, so shed miss it. After about an hour, i could tell when it was over that She was pleased out of her mind.

 

After we were done  she was expecting some love words or comong back words or we and i just continued on with the deal and hot her into a cab

 

Now she doesnt stop calling and txting and wants me back no matter what and im not even gonna give her sex. She doesnt deserve anything after what she did and im feeling pretty satisfied with my pay back (which wasnt malicious, since i told her all of my intentions before and she agreed.

 

Any thoughts? Im feeling light  haha

[[Fl...]]

this just doesn't even make sense to me. whoever wrote it must be a moron.

Actually, it does make sense from an evolutionary psychology perspective, which is prob the way he intended it. I don't assume that he advocates the behavior; he is just repeating a theory that has been widely accepted in the literature.

 

I wrote it, and it is based on my understanding of why this double standard exists.

 

It saddens me that anyone would blindly shout down a rational explanation, but I guess that's the society we live in. If the science doesn't jive with your world view, reject it and substitute something else.

 

Pointing out that many of us are here right now sick as hell because "the science was ignored" will probably fall on deaf ears, but it would be remiss of me to not at least point that out.

[[Fl...]]

Pity- my honest opinion is that you just need to move on now. Don't answer her calls, don't meet up with her, don't entertain any offers for sex, just go about your life and do your best to forget about her. No good can come of a relationship like this. You need to focus on your healing and it is important to stay away from toxic people while you are recovering. It will take some time to heal from the relationship but you will be better off in time.

[[Ka...]]

So i told u guys she wanted to get back with me after all this BS. So yesterday she kept calling and I answered my cel. She said she wanted to come see me and talk abt everything and that she was sorry and did everything bc she was insecure in relation to our relationship. So I saw a way of paying back her coin but in an honorable way obviously, im no dickhead like she is.

 

So i said she could come over but only for sex, and that shed leave afterwards. Since she thinks i cant live without her, she came after agreeing with the terms but she was sure id take her back after seeing her.

 

So i probably did one of the most ambitious sexual intercourse in my life, just so that I could make her feel pleasure beyond measure, so shed miss it. After about an hour, i could tell when it was over that She was pleased out of her mind.

 

After we were done  she was expecting some love words or comong back words or we and i just continued on with the deal and hot her into a cab

 

Now she doesnt stop calling and txting and wants me back no matter what and im not even gonna give her sex. She doesnt deserve anything after what she did and im feeling pretty satisfied with my pay back (which wasnt malicious, since i told her all of my intentions before and she agreed.

 

Any thoughts? Im feeling light  haha

 

Yes I am sure that she was the only one that got any pleasure from that experience. Serves her right! You hold out sex from her in the future, because that IS what she deserves. Keep telling yourself whatever you need to PK.

[[Ka...]]

I'm not sure why I should have to be afraid to point out that there are logical reasons for certain human behaviors but if you want to blame a certain gender for some kind of perceived injustice without any desire to learn about the possibility of a scientific basis behind behind it, there really isn't much else I can say.

 

You are unbelievable FG. There is no scientific explanation for the double standard. People will do whatever they can get away with for as long as they are able to get away with it. Simple. I feel no injustice. You notice no one here agreed with your theory either. You can keep stating it to support that wacko theory as long as you like of course. However to say that it is more acceptable for one gender to be unfaithful in a relationship than the other is ridiculous and to try to back that up saying that it is a scientific fact is just simply crazy. There is no scientific evidence to support the double standard and there is no such thing as "genetic suicide". Do you think these things out before you write them here? Please post any research supporting your theory, I would love to read it.

[[Ch...]]

Pity- my honest opinion is that you just need to move on now. Don't answer her calls, don't meet up with her, don't entertain any offers for sex, just go about your life and do your best to forget about her. No good can come of a relationship like this. You need to focus on your healing and it is important to stay away from toxic people while you are recovering. It will take some time to heal from the relationship but you will be better off in time.

 

100% agree.

[[Pi...]]

Oh come on people, men have been enamored with big breasts since the beginning of time, why shouldn't women show appreciation for certain male anatomical endowments? There's nothing wrong with it.

 

for myself -- i would like to be with a man whose penis i am attracted to. but if his size were small in the 'esthethic sense' that we're used to -- it would not matter to me if i love the man. i do think that someone saying that to you is mostly merely trying to be a little manipulative and having some kind of power and especially if she's now saying she wants you back.

 

to me, that is all behavior from someone who isn't quite grown up and is not taking any kind of emotional responsibility.

 

you will see everything differently when you don't have anymore withdrawal symptoms/when you're brain is all balanced and healed.

 

 

 

 

What makes u attracted to a guys penis? Its size? Width? So ur saying anatomy does count? (Im not talking abt micro penises, just smaller than average ones)

[[Pi...]]

Guys stop attacking each other. FG posted what he learned about - and is doing so with the best intention possible. He never said he agreed with the "double standards", nor was he harrassing any members of this forum; yet you guys dont think twice before personally targeting him, and not his idea in general if that is the case.

 

Were all friends here trying to help ourselves and each others. Im probably one of our youngest, being 22, and it amazes me that I have to point this out to women and men who are much older than me. We do not have to be disrespectful when disagreeing with an opinion; specially in this case which he simply stated what he studied, not what he came up with.

 

Now coming back to what matters - has anyone lost strong relationships during wd as well? How did u cope?

[[Fa...]]

I'm not sure why I should have to be afraid to point out that there are logical reasons for certain human behaviors but if you want to blame a certain gender for some kind of perceived injustice without any desire to learn about the possibility of a scientific basis behind behind it, there really isn't much else I can say.

 

You are unbelievable FG. There is no scientific explanation for the double standard. People will do whatever they can get away with for as long as they are able to get away with it. Simple. I feel no injustice. You notice no one here agreed with your theory either. You can keep stating it to support that wacko theory as long as you like of course. However to say that it is more acceptable for one gender to be unfaithful in a relationship than the other is ridiculous and to try to back that up saying that it is a scientific fact is just simply crazy. There is no scientific evidence to support the double standard and there is no such thing as "genetic suicide". Do you think these things out before you write them here? Please post any research supporting your theory, I would love to read it.

http://badbooksgoodtimes.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/toy-story-popcorn.gif?w=594

[[xe...]]

I don't think this is the right thread to debate gender issues and society; someone's welcome to start up a thread for that and I'd be happy to engage in it, but I think it's unhelpful to the original poster her.

 

Pity Klonopin -- I'm sure your anatomy is fine. The woman you're talking about sounds controlling and unhealthy, and you're making it pretty clear that she's toxic to you. If it were me, I'd try to cut the cord completely (no calls, no texts, no emails, nothing), wait as long as I needed to wait to get over my pain and unhappiness, and then go find someone who's not crazy.

 

I don't think any of the women who have responded to you were at all trying to imply that penis size is a fundamental, irreconcilable requirement for a relationship. Bodies are weird, no one is perfect, and if you're looking to commit to someone long term, then no matter how good you both look at the beginning, you're going to watch each other get saggier and less sexy until one of you dies anyway. That's how it works.

[[Fl...]]

Guys stop attacking each other. FG posted what he learned about - and is doing so with the best intention possible. He never said he agreed with the "double standards", nor was he harrassing any members of this forum; yet you guys dont think twice before personally targeting him, and not his idea in general if that is the case.

 

Were all friends here trying to help ourselves and each others. Im probably one of our youngest, being 22, and it amazes me that I have to point this out to women and men who are much older than me. We do not have to be disrespectful when disagreeing with an opinion; specially in this case which he simply stated what he studied, not what he came up with.

 

Now coming back to what matters - has anyone lost strong relationships during wd as well? How did u cope?

 

Thanks....I wasn't trying to stir anything up and I apologize if my posts took things off topic..

 

I haven't really lost a relationship while in wd, but I did date someone briefly back when I was about 16 months off and it was a disaster. I have no idea how or why she was even attracted to me in the shape I was in but I was going through a time when I had very little control of my emotions so I managed to screw it up pretty quickly. It sucked pretty bad too. Al of those emotions you feel when you watch a relationship slip away were compounded by 10. I made it through and we are on good terms to this day so all is well 

 

Time heals benzo wd and it will certainly heal the pain from a lost relationship. We just need to concentrate on getting better and I am sure both of us will find much better relationships in the future 

[[pr...]]

 

Pointing out that many of us are here right now sick as hell because "the science was ignored" will probably fall on deaf ears, but it would be remiss of me to not at least point that out.

 

this makes more sense. but sometimes even science falls short of being truth -- what about no order or difficulty with a miracles occuring?

 

I don't think this is the right thread to debate gender issues and society; someone's welcome to start up a thread for that and I'd be happy to engage in it, but I think it's unhelpful to the original poster her.

 

especially in a bad wave and yes not fair to the OP.

 

and yes PK -- all i was merely saying is if two people truly love & care for eachother -- they most like will be attracted to & about all things with one another and work on the other things that they're not -- it just won't matter - size - shape or anything else.

 

[[pr...]]

I'm not sure why I should have to be afraid to point out that there are logical reasons for certain human behaviors but if you want to blame a certain gender for some kind of perceived injustice without any desire to learn about the possibility of a scientific basis behind behind it, there really isn't much else I can say.

 

You are unbelievable FG. There is no scientific explanation for the double standard. People will do whatever they can get away with for as long as they are able to get away with it. Simple. I feel no injustice. You notice no one here agreed with your theory either. You can keep stating it to support that wacko theory as long as you like of course. However to say that it is more acceptable for one gender to be unfaithful in a relationship than the other is ridiculous and to try to back that up saying that it is a scientific fact is just simply crazy. There is no scientific evidence to support the double standard and there is no such thing as "genetic suicide". Do you think these things out before you write them here? Please post any research supporting your theory, I would love to read it.

http://badbooksgoodtimes.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/toy-story-popcorn.gif?w=594

 

very interesting gif photo! i like the way he is so sure that his friend is getting the morsel.