im having problems with a shady stalker in real life :(

[[ba...]]

have you ever had someone come over that you really dont want there or is unwelcome? im having this problem it all started the middle of last month i drove 50miles on my way home a mile from home my car broke down i was in a 4 lane road i coasted to the middle lane a good samaritan came over helped pushed me off the roadway to a road not traveled much, i was pulled home by my older brother's pickup with a chain the "good samaritan" was driving my car so he saw where  i live he stayed a lil while he seemed mechanially inclined he diagnosed the problem 2 weeks pass this "good samarian comes by again to say hi invites me to get into this old rusty ford truck he had i was like , well i just took my meds i feel out of it

i forgot to mention this guy has needle marks on one of his arms

he has been coming over 2 or 3 times a week chit chatting to me outside he's ALOT older than me close to 40 which seems weird if he wants to "date me" he hasnt really hit up on me though

yesterday he came over again my older brother was going to call him the number he gave us last month a girl answered they talked awhile she said her phone had been STOLEN i had forgot his name she said it was "gordon"

we decided the best way to handle this gordon guy is just to tell him " we appreciated your help alot last month we are just the kind of family that we keep to ourselfs "

i dont know if he thinks my family is rich and he wants a "rich girlfriend" or he just wants to get money from us somehow either way i think he's up to no good

luckily we have 8 survielance cameras outside becasue of previous vandal problems and me and mom have a feud with neighbors

[[pe...]]

I'd have your brother contact the person he called and try to get this guys real last name, if you ask him he might lie about it. Then Google it and see what comes up, look for any images of him when you do. Check whitepages.com to see if he's listed there too.

 

If he stops by again have somebody else answer the door if that's possible and say you're not there. Have them try to get his license plate number while they're at it. If you avoid all contact with him he may give up and go away. If you flat out reject him no telling how he'll react.

[[Na...]]

Just from an outsiders viewpoint, this guys sounds like a creep. Yes, he helped great. But the deed is done, why keep coming back.........he's up to something. Needle marks on his arms?? This could be dangerous

[[Ch...]]

In general, it's just not a good idea to have a man in his 40s hanging around someone your age, babyangel.  Best case scenario, he may just be lonely, but he needs age appropriate friends.  Keep your brother close until the situation changes.

[[ba...]]

thank you for your replys i had guys "fall in love" with me before but they went away if i let them know i wasnt intrested he just shows up randomly he never calls , and to the person that asked for his full name to get an address? i know that he just lives near a city dumb because one time he came over he said " i can load up these leaves for you in my truck the city dump is nearby" his pickup is very unique no other one like it its very faded grey homemade paint job on doors of it thats noticeable

and from what i understood about him he doesnt seem to have a pernament residence like he just stays from friend's house awhile and goes to another friend to stay awhile.. maybe he wants to just try to get close to me so he can ask me if he can stay with me (i dont think so) !

 

i used to like to spend hours outside now im worried if he's going to show up suddnely when im outside like he did before

[[sn...]]

All very good advice Katie. This guy sounds like nothing, but trouble. 

[[Ka...]]

Very bad news. Do not be shy about giving him the brush off. Even if you have to get rude about it.

 

You are a nice person and don't want to hurt his feelings because he helped you. It's possible he is just a nice guy but even so he has issues. True nice guys do not maintain an interest in inappropriately young people nor use a one time good deed as a reason to become a bother to somebody. More likely he helped you in the first place because he had an ulterior motive.

 

He might not be dangerous but at best he will become an irritant.  Or, he could be checking out your home for a planned burglary.

 

The cameras are a very good idea.  Motion activated flood lights. Dead bolts on all doors, thumb lock on the screen doors, check basement doors but also all windows, crawlspace windows too.  Someone who really wants in will get in. But you want to add as many little delays that he must work through as possible. For me, if a home invader gets past all that, and gets into my house he will then need to confront my ultimate protector.  If it's not burglary he wants, but you, then you have to think about how to protect yourself once you leave the house. But because of the needle marks, I'm betting he is just casing the place.

[[ba...]]

ya thats true that he may be casing out my family's home, he saw that my family has alot of cars 6 nice cars such as our Lincoln navigator and cadillac cts and my Mustang my father isnt a millionaire he's just a 18wheeler truck driver that works alot, i didnt notice this but my brother noticed he looked started the first day he was here and he saw an empty gun holster and night stick on top of our tool box that was my father's he was a policeman before i was born

[[sn...]]

Hey Katie. Did you say a "shady" stalker? You're being stalked by a tree?

 

On a different note, I am happy to hear he is finally staying away.

 

 

Snoball

[Guest [...]]

This guy's a thief plain and simple. Let me tell you, they all say they want to help you. Help you out of your stuff and your life, that is!

 

Some crazy neighbor broke into my apartment, waiting for me with a handmade bludgeon, and told the police he saw my door kicked open and was waiting for me to come home to help me. Yeah right! After going through my stuff and shall we say leaving personal evidence in my bedroom.... Another neighbor contributed to the police report because he was bothering her too.

 

Luckily you see him coming, that takes the element of surprise out. Surprise, speed, violence of attack...that's how they do it. If I were you, if you see him again and I hope you don't, you let him know that you aren't naive--you know what's up--and he'll leave you alone for easier for prey. He's a predator and he doesn't want to get hurt. For sure that's what he is. I wouldn't believe he's just lonely or whatever, BS, and it sounds like you don't because you're afraid. Fear is a gift.

[Guest [...]]

And to answer your question, yes, this guy who broke into my apartment had been coming by to introduce himself and borrow my phone. For two months I was a nervous wreck and didn't connect the two. I remember a couple of times being afraid to open my front door when I came home. I would trust my instinct.

[[ba...]]

hi Thaler thank you for your reply , thank god "Gordon" hasnt been over in over 2 weeks i think its just reallly creepy that he's like twice my age and he keeps inviting me to get in his pickup to go "fishing"  i already rehearsed what to say next time to say this " hello my family we keep to ourselfs we are very private because my father is a very strict man"

[Guest [...]]

Good. It is creepy, you're absolutely right. And in cases like these it pays to go against social graces and be plain rude. He's being rude. He's probably counting on you being polite.

[[ba...]]

Thaler im having problems with a 2nd stalker online i met him from a online game i play sometimes.  i mistakenly gave him my facebook contacts he keeps writing mooshy loving stuff on my facebook and it makes me look weird to my friends because this stalker is too young to like me 

he recently took this photo and put it on my facebook wall,  i dont want to unfriend him and hurt him i don know how to tell him to stop

 

 

Edit: removed photo

[Guest [...]]

The strange thing about these stalkers and other abusers is their feelings don't get hurt when you get away from them. No contact is a good rule--unfriending, filtering email to go to a "Restraining Order" folder, blocking phone calls, etc. What they will likely do is keep trying to contact you, then as they're getting desperate *increase* their attempts to contact you. That's when you know they're about to stop. Once they stop, they are off to someone else. Some will threaten suicide if you leave them and the next week they are out and about living it up without a second thought to you.

 

You could give them a short email to say you don't want to be friends with them and that any further attempts to contact you will be  used to support a restraining order. Sometimes even this doesn't work. Combined with no contact it could help.

[[ig...]]

Hi Babyangel,

unfriending the second stalker is a good idea. You don't need this stuff. The person may not

be the one in the FB picture.

Best,

Iggy 

[[sn...]]

Hi Katie.  I wouldn't worry about hurting feelings. You need to look out for YOU. Its not your job to keep the world happy.  Even if stalker #2 (No grossness intended)  is the young boy in the picture, It doesn't matter. You don't have to be mean. I would just say bye. Then defriend him. Trust me...He will find someone else to stalk. He will be fine. Look out for yourself.

 

Good advice from the previous posters also.

 

 

Your Buddy,

 

Snoball

[[ba...]]

well stalker #2 , his name is troy , we played the game runescape together. We just talked about the game together, music movies,  just everyday life . a month or so after we met on the game he asked for my facebook and skype contacts i gave it to him since he talked nicely to me before,  it just  annoys me when everytime i sign in skype and he's online he sends me call requests wanting to see me speak to me there , it was ok a few times but i just want to talk to my other friends he expects me to give him 100% of my attention when im online and he is too

he's only 12 it would be innappropiate of me to be his online girlfriend like he wants me to 

 

i dont want to hurt him saying something that might hurt him i was just thinking just try to tell him if we can just be friends.

[[ig...]]

Um, Babyangel,

you don't know if he's twelve. He could have had a kid pose for that picture.

If I were in your situation, I'd unfriend him. Yesterday.

You should feel comfortable in the situation and it sounds like you aren't.

 

Love,

Iggy 

[[sn...]]

Ya, good point. If you know hes the boy in the picture, then I cant blame you for not wanting to hurt his feelings. Kids are the best, however, they do need to know there are boundaries. Maybe you could just set some rules down, like ummmm, no skype after your bed time.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Snoball

[[ba...]]

thanks for your input here, well i know that troy is 12 becasue we spoke in voice and video calls before on skype , i just dont feel right him wanting to do that everytime i sign on skype 

 

 

[Guest [to...]]

Be vigilant and watch your back; trust your instincts. Live your life, but don't drop your guard - he does sound suspect for trying to figure out your routine.

 

Have plans and know where your escape routes and your weapons are (including makeshift weapons....tools, stones, anything.) That's not living on fear, that's living prepared. You probably already got that covered , though 

 

Take care of yourself.

 

-tor

[[ba...]]

thanks tor its been since the 8th of this month since Gordon has come over here at his worst he was coming here several times a week wanting to take me fishing in his truck and offering to fix my mustang that wasnt working at the time  or do other work here for me  i think i said no t him too many times and he's finally gone for good luckily

[[sn...]]

thanks tor its been since the 8th of this month since Gordon has come over here at his worst he was coming here several times a week wanting to take me fishing in his truck and offering to fix my mustang that wasnt working at the time  or do other work here for me  i think i said no t him too many times and he's finally gone for good luckily

Cool. Besides...Gordon needs to stalk someone his own age.  :D

 

Seriously, I'm very happy that the stalker is done stalking. I was concerned about you.

Just keep in mind that song by Rick Springfield...Don't talk to strangers.

 

Snoball

[[ba...]]

Be vigilant and watch your back;.

 

Have plans and know where your escape routes and your weapons are (including makeshift weapons....tools, stones, anything.)

 

Take care of yourself.

 

-tor

 

thanks for the advice i keep a gun in my bedroom my family likes guns so they got me 2 heres one of them i keep it in a case i took it out just to photograph it

http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab13/nanananabooobooo/SSPX02381taurus45_zpsea78e649.jpg