What are you doing right now?

[[Mo...]]

BEEN AWAKE SINCE 1, AND I'M ROCKING IN MY GOOD OLE ROCKER.

 

BORING; HOWEVER, IT'S A BIT OF A DISTRACTION!

 

FB

 

Aww Flut, so sorry, its horrible....I remember those sleepless nights

must have had thousands of them, guess what ?

after 11 months off unbroken sleep for 7-9 hours returned,

natural sleep.....so so different to this one, you'll see.

[[Fl...]]

BEEN AWAKE SINCE 1, AND I'M ROCKING IN MY GOOD OLE ROCKER.

 

BORING; HOWEVER, IT'S A BIT OF A DISTRACTION!

 

FB

 

Aww Flut, so sorry, its horrible....I remember those sleepless nights

must have had thousands of them, guess what ?

after 11 months off unbroken sleep for 7-9 hours returned,

natural sleep.....so so different to this one, you'll see.

HI MORR, OH HAPPY DAY...A REAL LIVE PERSON TO CHAT WITH

I HAVE NOT HAD THIS HAPPEN IN QUITE A LONG TIME. I ATE BBQ FOR DINNER AND IT HAS REALLY UPSET MY STOMACH ON EVERY LEVEL.

 

IT'S RIGHT AT 3am HERE. WHAT TIME IS IT WHERE YOUR AT?

 

ARE YOU DOING OKAY TODAY?

 

FB

[[Mo...]]

Flut, its 10 am here, I'm ok...just eating a Mango ....

I see...too much delicious BBQ and now you are paying the price for it,

hope you can get some sleep soon. Fennel tea ?

I know where to get it from at this time....or a double cognac will

do the trick, better not thou....

[[Fl...]]

Flut, its 10 am here, I'm ok...just eating a Mango ....

I see...too much delicious BBQ and now you are paying the price for it,

hope you can get some sleep soon. Fennel tea ?

I know where to get it from at this time....or a double cognac will

do the trick, better not thou....

YEP...TO MUCH BBQ; HOWEVER, I WILL BE TRAVELING TO CANADA ON THURSDAY, AND I AM STARTING TO HAVE NERVOUSINESS ABOUT IT. MY BRAIN IS RUNNING AWAY WITH ME.

 

I'M IN S. TEXAS, AND I'M LOOKING AT 2 FOUR HRS LEGGS OF THE TRIP.  NOT SO APPEALING.  I AM GOING WITH MY DAUGHTERS AND MY COUSIN. 

 

MORR, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I "DON'T WANT TO DO THIS" ;HOWEVER, IT'S TO LATE NOW.  I'M TRYING TO DO POSSITIVE SELF TALK, BUT I'M NOT WANTING TO LISTEN.

 

I FEEL FOR THE MOST PART I WILL BE FINE ONCE I'M THERE...IT'S JUST THE TRAVEL. I DO NOT LIKE TO FLY "AT ALL"!

 

EATING A MANGO HUH...I FIND THEM HARD TO PEEL, AND RIGHT NOW...I DON'T EVER WANT TO EAT AGAIN 

 

CLAUDIA...I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD DAY!

FLUTER 

[[Mo...]]

Thanks Flut , wish you a save flight on Thursday ,deep belly

breathing when you get anxious at the airport....you'll be alright.

[[va...]]

i do not know where to put this:

 

I'm going everyday through huge mental haos

my perception of life is NOT RIGHT ONE...

i see the world around me from the perspective of my hijacked brain:

i wasn't having libido at my taper and when i was poly drugged

so i saw another person the way i was:

my husband also not wanting it-

if i were NORMAL i would see him as ANY MALE= horny bastard

thinking about new sex  partners (i know some males might be offended, but its my opinion )

 

also i realised back to my taper that for me my LIFE STOPPED at that time:

BUT IN REALITY THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON EVERY MINUTE OF EACH DAY

I'm starting to grasp this only now :'( :'( :'( :'(

 

when i was traveling to amsterdam

on 2nd may i had a my breakfast

and one Lady told, royalties got their second Baby!!!

me: was she pregnant??????

it shows that I DO NOT LIVE IN THIS REALITY WORLD!!!!!!!

 

I DO NOT PERCIEVE MY DIVORCE AND HIS CRUELTY THE RIGHT WAY

i do not live and i can be deceived by any NORMAL HUMANS

i know I'm deceived on some things RIGHT NOW  that

i should be aware of.....

 

 

i hate this hell, i studied psychology and I MISSED LIKE A LOOSER AND STUPID ONE

on this pig cheating

THERE WERE ALL SIGNS= NO SEX FOR OVER A YEAR!!!!!

 

 

so now tell me- how i should live with THIS SHAME

i lost all respect for myself

i do not trust myself anymore

i hate myself

i wanna hurt myself for being so so STUPID and DUMB

 

but then i realise that LIFE ALREADY IS PUNISHING ME FOR BEING STUPID!!!

 

 

NO ONE ON THIS EARTH IS MORE STUPID THAN ME!!!!!!

 

I'm the biggest loser there ever was in HUMAN HISTORY!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

[[NY...]]

Just finished watching The Imitation Game - WHEW!  Emoticon reaction =  :'(

[[sn...]]

BEEN AWAKE SINCE 1, AND I'M ROCKING IN MY GOOD OLE ROCKER.

 

BORING; HOWEVER, IT'S A BIT OF A DISTRACTION!

 

FB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGYZKxZdfRg

[[va...]]

i do not know where to put this:

 

I'm going everyday through huge mental haos

my perception of life is NOT RIGHT ONE...

i see the world around me from the perspective of my hijacked brain:

i wasn't having libido at my taper and when i was poly drugged

so i saw another person the way i was:

my husband also not wanting it-

if i were NORMAL i would see him as ANY MALE= horny bastard

thinking about new sex  partners (i know some males might be offended, but its my opinion )

 

also i realised back to my taper that for me my LIFE STOPPED at that time:

BUT IN REALITY THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON EVERY MINUTE OF EACH DAY

I'm starting to grasp this only now :'( :'( :'( :'(

 

when i was traveling to amsterdam

on 2nd may i had a my breakfast

and one Lady told, royalties got their second Baby!!!

me: was she pregnant??????

it shows that I DO NOT LIVE IN THIS REALITY WORLD!!!!!!!

 

I DO NOT PERCIEVE MY DIVORCE AND HIS CRUELTY THE RIGHT WAY

i do not live and i can be deceived by any NORMAL HUMANS

i know I'm deceived on some things RIGHT NOW  that

i should be aware of.....

 

 

i hate this hell, i studied psychology and I MISSED LIKE A LOOSER AND STUPID ONE

on this pig cheating

THERE WERE ALL SIGNS= NO SEX FOR OVER A YEAR!!!!!

 

 

so now tell me- how i should live with THIS SHAME

i lost all respect for myself

i do not trust myself anymore

i hate myself

i wanna hurt myself for being so so STUPID and DUMB

 

but then i realise that LIFE ALREADY IS PUNISHING ME FOR BEING STUPID!!!

 

 

NO ONE ON THIS EARTH IS MORE STUPID THAN ME!!!!!!

 

I'm the biggest loser there ever was in HUMAN HISTORY!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

MY PERCEPTION OF LIFE IS DISTORTED TO CRAZINESS!!!!!!

I DO NOT SEE THINGS AS THEY ARE!!!

AS THEY SHOULD BE PERCEIVED AND DEALT WITH!!!!

MY MIND IS FUNCTIONING ACCORDING OTHER PARALLEL UNIVERSE LAWS !!!

 

i just came back from my village one local guy who has his business , i had to give him something...

on my way i was ON MY DAILLY MENTAL JOYRIDE

exorcising whatever intrusive thoughts were hitting me

 

so on the way there i was thinking :

i have to run after this, because mental stuff is beyond crazy this morning...

i have to come home and change and run....

 

 

THEN THE MOST FUNNY PART CAME:

 

 

on my way back

again i was convincing myself to run once i come back home

AND THEM BOOM

 

it hit me out of the blue

IM ALREADY WEARING MY RUNNING CLOTHS -

all i have to do is just turn left and run towards my forest!!!!!

 

 

no comments

[[st...]]

I'm typing keys on my keyboard. Yup. That's what we're all doing! If we are to be totally honest to this thread, then every post would be the same, right?

 

Ok, call me unstable. No, actually, don't! After all, this thread IS about what we're doing RIGHT NOW, right? Not a minute ago, or a minute from now, but RIGHT NOW, yes?

 

I'm typing the "k" key. And now, I'm typing the "k" key again. In a moment, I'll be pressing "POST." But the right NOW I'm typing about typing some key in the future, which I haven typed yet. I can't seem to catch up! Benzo withdrawal at its finest!

 

Have a good one everybody!

 

Steve

 

 

[[Fl...]]

BEEN AWAKE SINCE 1, AND I'M ROCKING IN MY GOOD OLE ROCKER.

 

BORING; HOWEVER, IT'S A BIT OF A DISTRACTION!

 

FB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGYZKxZdfRg

LOL....

NOW, I'M REALLY ROCKIN

GREAT BEAT SNOWY...THANK YOU FOR THE JAMS 

BIG HUGS,

FLUTER

[[sn...]]

BEEN AWAKE SINCE 1, AND I'M ROCKING IN MY GOOD OLE ROCKER.

 

BORING; HOWEVER, IT'S A BIT OF A DISTRACTION!

 

FB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGYZKxZdfRg

LOL....

NOW, I'M REALLY ROCKIN

GREAT BEAT SNOWY...THANK YOU FOR THE JAMS 

BIG HUGS,

FLUTER

Hi Fluter.  That song sure is easy to get hooked on. 

 

Snowy

[[Fl...]]

Hi Fluter.  That song sure is easy to get hooked on. 

I KNOW....LOL.

WERE GROOVIN TO THE BEAT

FB

[[sn...]]

[[ba...]]

what am i doing now ? listening to thunder its been raining and thundering for hours i think i should turn my computer off in case if power goes out . i dont think i can exercise (run outside ) today i like to in the mornings hopefully if it clears up this afternoon i can go then .

[[sn...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

[[ca...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

[[sn...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

[[ca...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

[[sn...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

 

 

[[ca...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

Snowy i have about a 12 here but the whole area is full of them and i have access to all the fruit we lost all our Fruit last year so hoping for the best ! I honestly do not think its going to get out of the 40`s here today a nasty cold frot droped down on us so willl keep the stove going for the next day or so. I should head down your way give up this Logging bit and hunt gators what do ya think ? Peace ~CD

[[sn...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

Snowy i have about a 12 here but the whole area is full of them and i have access to all the fruit we lost all our Fruit last year so hoping for the best ! I honestly do not think its going to get out of the 40`s here today a nasty cold frot droped down on us so willl keep the stove going for the next day or so. I should head down your way give up this Logging bit and hunt gators what do ya think ? Peace ~CD

CD, I sure hope your trees are gonna be ok. Didn't like the tarp idea, I take it. Gators? Naahh...I'm in the upper section of Illinois. Unless, someone has one as a pet or something...in which case, I would hope they would have it on a leash. "Well, I went fer a walk today and there goes a gator trotting by with its owner" 

 

:)

[[ca...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

Snowy i have about a 12 here but the whole area is full of them and i have access to all the fruit we lost all our Fruit last year so hoping for the best ! I honestly do not think its going to get out of the 40`s here today a nasty cold frot droped down on us so willl keep the stove going for the next day or so. I should head down your way give up this Logging bit and hunt gators what do ya think ? Peace ~CD

CD, I sure hope your trees are gonna be ok. Didn't like the tarp idea, I take it. Gators? Naahh...I'm in the upper section of Illinois. Unless, someone has one as a pet or something...in which case, I would hope they would have it on a leash. "Well, I went fer a walk today and there goes a gator trotting by with its owner" 

 

:)

Snowy, no tarps will let Mother Nature make the desicion just having a kinda rough day here kinda brain fogged people from all over the place so no Gators so maybe some Nice Tree`s up there then lol ! ~Peace ~CD

[[sn...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

Snowy i have about a 12 here but the whole area is full of them and i have access to all the fruit we lost all our Fruit last year so hoping for the best ! I honestly do not think its going to get out of the 40`s here today a nasty cold frot droped down on us so willl keep the stove going for the next day or so. I should head down your way give up this Logging bit and hunt gators what do ya think ? Peace ~CD

CD, I sure hope your trees are gonna be ok. Didn't like the tarp idea, I take it. Gators? Naahh...I'm in the upper section of Illinois. Unless, someone has one as a pet or something...in which case, I would hope they would have it on a leash. "Well, I went fer a walk today and there goes a gator trotting by with its owner" 

 

:)

Snowy, no tarps will let Mother Nature make the desicion just having a kinda rough day here kinda brain fogged people from all over the place so no Gators so maybe some Nice Tree`s up there then lol ! ~Peace ~CD

I hope your day gets better. Yes, There are some nice trees around here. I used to climb alot of trees when I was a kid. Good memories. 

Take care of yourself CD.

 

Snowy

[[ca...]]

Looking out the window, thinking the grass could use mowing. Whoa! Pretty bird just flew by.

Snowball, i fired up the woodstove was in the 30`s this morning so just on here drinkin some cofee warming the house up 

Sounds good CD. Ahhh, wood stove. Good memories. Sounds like alot of mornings at the cottage when I was a kid.

 

Hope your keeping warm there friend.

 

Snowy

Snowy, yep doing ok just hoping we do not get frost tonight our apple tree`s just blosumed and we could lose our Apples like we did lst year i hope all is well with you ~CD

ahh, that wouldnt be good. Try putting giant tarps over each tree. That should pretect em. No, seriously, that would be a shame. How many trees do you have?

Snowy i have about a 12 here but the whole area is full of them and i have access to all the fruit we lost all our Fruit last year so hoping for the best ! I honestly do not think its going to get out of the 40`s here today a nasty cold frot droped down on us so willl keep the stove going for the next day or so. I should head down your way give up this Logging bit and hunt gators what do ya think ? Peace ~CD

CD, I sure hope your trees are gonna be ok. Didn't like the tarp idea, I take it. Gators? Naahh...I'm in the upper section of Illinois. Unless, someone has one as a pet or something...in which case, I would hope they would have it on a leash. "Well, I went fer a walk today and there goes a gator trotting by with its owner" 

 

:)

Snowy, no tarps will let Mother Nature make the desicion just having a kinda rough day here kinda brain fogged people from all over the place so no Gators so maybe some Nice Tree`s up there then lol ! ~Peace ~CD

I hope your day gets better. Yes, There are some nice trees around here. I used to climb alot of trees when I was a kid. Good memories. 

Take care of yourself CD.

 

Snowy

you too Snowy