This place seems so... toxic

[[...]]

I would rather replace GOD with anything that this world has to offer (mindless TV..come on).  Not that I don't enjoy life and am grateful for it and the good that it has to offer.  I find myself thinking too that maybe I should stay away for awhile, too much of anything can be bad (all consuming) there is a lot to life that was designed for us to enjoy...in moderation and in time.  Step away and look for the good.  There is much more good than bad, we tend to focus on the bad; a bridge collapses how many are left standing, disaster strikes (as horrible as it is) look to see who's survived.  Bad things just happen but, there is always good too.  Look here at BB, withdrawal is real and frightening (I have given up many times but, somehow it never worked and I'm grateful) look at all the successes, people overcoming what they TRULY believed would be impossible.  I was in that group and it comes and goes but, I have hope, validation where before I didn't.  I have found; more compassion, empathy, understanding, caring, love HERE than from my own family and friends, friends I have known for years even those I have known since childhood and I'm old.

I pray much peace and love for you

eli

[[re...]]

The only thing "toxic" about this forum is this kind of bogus post.

I liked your first post better redevan. 

 

Yeah, it does make you wonder doesn't it.....

I too preferred your original post. When I came back to view the additional reply, I saw your edited post, and thought dr was really hitting me big time - especially since your edited reply doesn't indicate that you edited it. How can that be possible? I think everytime I go back to change my replies, it shows up as "... last edited by mplsgrl..." 

 

Thank you.

 

M. 

 

Sorry for any confusion or disappointment. I thought my original post might be a bit too harsh, so I went back and condensed it. I thought I did it before anyone saw it. You two were quick! I'll have to remember that in the future.

 

I'll just say this for now: When I read posts like "This place seems so... toxic", I do not necessarily take them at face value.

[[...]]

The forum now has over 11,000 members (past inactive ones counted also). This is a tiny number when compared to the tens of millions of people worldwide who take benzodiazepines.

OK. But it is pure accident that I came here. I was already off the drug on my own, and I did not find this place. A friend did.

 

If it were not for that good friend I would be going through everything I have gone through alone. Meanwhile, my family really does not know how hard it has been to get off K. The co-workers have no idea. Most of my friends have no idea. And even the friends who listen are confounded by my tales, so I mostly don't talk.

 

So how many people out there are going through some degree of hell but have no one to talk to? And if so, how would anyone know?

 

My doctor only knows that I quit K. He to this moment has no idea why, and he simply asked me whey I would quit when I was doing fine on it...

[[mp...]]

Your post are always honest and informative, therefore by definition, never too harsh. Oh, and I'm always too quick for the wrong things! 

 

M.

[[ec...]]

JC90 is just afraid,in my early months,I needed this place,but I hated it at the same time.This place was and still is a lifeline for me.Coming here caused me great anxiety,but where else could I have found the valuble information,understanding,and support.I pray that this place stays here for the many people who will be seaching  the net desperately looking for someone to tell them what is wrong with them like I did over 8months ago.God only know what would have bacame of me had I not found this place.JC90,read the success stories that give you hope everyday,and stay away from the horror while you are in such a fragile state.

[[Ma...]]

Well this place is toxic, because we are full of toxins.

[[Pl...]]

I am so glad that I have BBs to turn to!

[[...]]

Hello everyone,

 

My Psychiatrist told me the the other day that when I am no longer introducing the medicine (Diazepam) into my system, that I will fully recover.  That was very reassuring.........it's just getting there.  I am at 19 mg so, I have a ways to go but, my Dr. gave me hope.  That's what I needed to hear, thank you Lord!

 

I am very thankful for BB, I am no longer one voice, together we are many voices.....it's great....validating.

 

Thank you everyone.

 

peace

eli

[[Ri...]]

The original poster was reporting his experience resulting from an over active fear center of his brain.

 

When we are at the effect of these rogue chemicals, the slightest negativity can be blown out of proportion.

 

This happened to me when I was tapering. I was very afraid of everything. The rain, the wind, the cold, the cat, showers, basically everything.

 

I came to the bb a few times and had to leave because it scared me so bad. Not because bb was that bad, but because I was afraid of everything and bb was part of it.

 

After I finished my taper, I came here and was able to find immense value here.

 

So I have experienced both sides of this discussion.

 

The bottom line is we do what we have to do to get though.

 

 

River

[[Te...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

 

 

 

[[he...]]

  FRAGILE...... We come here with our CNS out of wack and look for validation.  Pass over the posts you cannot handle for that day and move on. As you heal you post helping those who are fragile.    Jude

[[Sc...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

Terraform19,

 

I'm sure you mean well with your reply, however please understand that some people going through benzo withdrawal are so ill that they in fact CAN'T do anything but rest in bed.  Benzo withdrawal can also create irrational fears that feel very real to the person when experiencing it...such as going outdoors, socializing, shopping for simple things like groceries, etc.  When we join a forum like this, we have to realize we are going to a witness to the "knitty gritty" details of those who get hit hard be symptoms of benzo withdrawal. 

 

I have actually reacted to taking Advil - it caused quite a reaction of anxiety/dizzy spells for me, so I have chosen to stay away from it.  I think we become so fragile when we are at our sickest - and our central nervous system is SO sensitive while healing - that it can create strange reactions to things like medication, food, drinks, bathing products, etc.  This reaction can in turn create fear so intense, that it's not necessarily us reacting "for weeks" to the aspirin itself, but it's the fact that our bodies reacted at all and it has now spiralled into many other mental/physical feelings.  To say that this is "fear mongering" is insensitive.  Yes, the average person shouldn't have to read it, but it's the fact.  If you are on this forum, you have to realize that you're going to read a wide range of stories, and all we can do as forum members is choose to offer support and words of kindness...or move to a different thread/topic if that one is too upsetting. 

 

I agree that we are all good people here - and that is what we all need to hear.  But people will make the baby steps when they are ready...because some members ARE just too sick to go outside and get some exercise.  They will get there in due time. 

 

Just a reminder to ALL who feel irritated/frustrated/annoyed by the "atmosphere" on a place like Benzo Buddies:  We joined here for support for something that can create loneliness, depression and fear.  Our number one goal here as members is to be kind and offer support to our peers who are living through benzo withdrawal.  This can be an incredibly scary experience that brings on uncertainty and many questions.  Everyone is just looking for hope and that is something that someone like myself can offer.  I'm recently 2 years free and doing MUCH better.  Yes, I have bad days/moments and get "scared" from time to time...but I have come a LONG way.  I've gone from 30+ symptoms to approx. 5.  Things get better - SO much better.  Remember that no 2 stories are the same.  One member can feel depressed, ill, anxious and be consumed by fear....whereas another member may experience occasional headaches and dizziness.  Both stories are important and need equal support.   

 

Benzo withdrawal CAN be scary.  That doesn't make the environment on Benzo Buddies "toxic"...it's just reality.  The good news is that things DO get better - so to all of you - hang in there!

 

All my best to each of you on BB,

Schatje

[[...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

Your empathy is astounding.

[[...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

Yeah, you know. To each their own. Apply as you would like to your own life.

I am almost out of here because I am actually improving in every way now. Only being out of this looking back do I have a sense of how bad it was. And it's almost like you don't have your wits about you like you're falling in the dark and getting knocked out without having your normal sense. I see now that it is a hard time and people will get through it however they get through it.

[[...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

OP, here. I've honestly changed my mind over the past month or so. This place is a godsend. It's good to have support for something that nobody cares about in real life.

 

This being said, I still believe there is too much paranoia and fear-mongering here... I'm about one month benzo free.. my acute period is ending and I'm starting to get better. I believe you should take everything said with a grain of salt. I think some people forget that hypochondria is a symptom of w/d, which fuels all these strange fears.

 

Terraform, I've read some of your past posts, and I think you are a lucky case. This is probably why your attitude is so positive. I used to be like you. I scoffed at hypochondriacs. Your taper seems to be going well, you are doing well. Many people here are not. Some have symptoms like pain, tinnitus, hallucinations, dizziness, etc... symptoms I don't and never will have, but I can sympathize.  I just wish the best of luck to all of you doing awful out there.

[[fi...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

Terraform19,

 

I'm sure you mean well with your reply, however please understand that some people going through benzo withdrawal are so ill that they in fact CAN'T do anything but rest in bed.  Benzo withdrawal can also create irrational fears that feel very real to the person when experiencing it...such as going outdoors, socializing, shopping for simple things like groceries, etc.  When we join a forum like this, we have to realize we are going to a witness to the "knitty gritty" details of those who get hit hard be symptoms of benzo withdrawal. 

 

I have actually reacted to taking Advil - it caused quite a reaction of anxiety/dizzy spells for me, so I have chosen to stay away from it.  I think we become so fragile when we are at our sickest - and our central nervous system is SO sensitive while healing - that it can create strange reactions to things like medication, food, drinks, bathing products, etc.  This reaction can in turn create fear so intense, that it's not necessarily us reacting "for weeks" to the aspirin itself, but it's the fact that our bodies reacted at all and it has now spiralled into many other mental/physical feelings.  To say that this is "fear mongering" is insensitive.  Yes, the average person shouldn't have to read it, but it's the fact.  If you are on this forum, you have to realize that you're going to read a wide range of stories, and all we can do as forum members is choose to offer support and words of kindness...or move to a different thread/topic if that one is too upsetting. 

 

I agree that we are all good people here - and that is what we all need to hear.  But people will make the baby steps when they are ready...because some members ARE just too sick to go outside and get some exercise.  They will get there in due time. 

 

Just a reminder to ALL who feel irritated/frustrated/annoyed by the "atmosphere" on a place like Benzo Buddies:  We joined here for support for something that can create loneliness, depression and fear.  Our number one goal here as members is to be kind and offer support to our peers who are living through benzo withdrawal.  This can be an incredibly scary experience that brings on uncertainty and many questions.  Everyone is just looking for hope and that is something that someone like myself can offer.  I'm recently 2 years free and doing MUCH better.  Yes, I have bad days/moments and get "scared" from time to time...but I have come a LONG way.  I've gone from 30+ symptoms to approx. 5.  Things get better - SO much better.  Remember that no 2 stories are the same.  One member can feel depressed, ill, anxious and be consumed by fear....whereas another member may experience occasional headaches and dizziness.  Both stories are important and need equal support.   

 

Benzo withdrawal CAN be scary.  That doesn't make the environment on Benzo Buddies "toxic"...it's just reality.  The good news is that things DO get better - so to all of you - hang in there!

 

All my best to each of you on BB,

Schatje

 

Excellent post, Schatje.

[[Ho...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

Terraform19,

 

I'm sure you mean well with your reply, however please understand that some people going through benzo withdrawal are so ill that they in fact CAN'T do anything but rest in bed.  Benzo withdrawal can also create irrational fears that feel very real to the person when experiencing it...such as going outdoors, socializing, shopping for simple things like groceries, etc.  When we join a forum like this, we have to realize we are going to a witness to the "knitty gritty" details of those who get hit hard be symptoms of benzo withdrawal. 

 

I have actually reacted to taking Advil - it caused quite a reaction of anxiety/dizzy spells for me, so I have chosen to stay away from it.  I think we become so fragile when we are at our sickest - and our central nervous system is SO sensitive while healing - that it can create strange reactions to things like medication, food, drinks, bathing products, etc.  This reaction can in turn create fear so intense, that it's not necessarily us reacting "for weeks" to the aspirin itself, but it's the fact that our bodies reacted at all and it has now spiralled into many other mental/physical feelings.  To say that this is "fear mongering" is insensitive.  Yes, the average person shouldn't have to read it, but it's the fact.  If you are on this forum, you have to realize that you're going to read a wide range of stories, and all we can do as forum members is choose to offer support and words of kindness...or move to a different thread/topic if that one is too upsetting. 

 

I agree that we are all good people here - and that is what we all need to hear.  But people will make the baby steps when they are ready...because some members ARE just too sick to go outside and get some exercise.  They will get there in due time. 

 

Just a reminder to ALL who feel irritated/frustrated/annoyed by the "atmosphere" on a place like Benzo Buddies:  We joined here for support for something that can create loneliness, depression and fear.  Our number one goal here as members is to be kind and offer support to our peers who are living through benzo withdrawal.  This can be an incredibly scary experience that brings on uncertainty and many questions.  Everyone is just looking for hope and that is something that someone like myself can offer.  I'm recently 2 years free and doing MUCH better.  Yes, I have bad days/moments and get "scared" from time to time...but I have come a LONG way.  I've gone from 30+ symptoms to approx. 5.  Things get better - SO much better.  Remember that no 2 stories are the same.  One member can feel depressed, ill, anxious and be consumed by fear....whereas another member may experience occasional headaches and dizziness.  Both stories are important and need equal support.   

 

Benzo withdrawal CAN be scary.  That doesn't make the environment on Benzo Buddies "toxic"...it's just reality.  The good news is that things DO get better - so to all of you - hang in there!

 

All my best to each of you on BB,

Schatje

 

Excellent post, Schatje.

 

[[Di...]]

I couldn't agree more. This place is utterly depressing.  I know benzo w/d can be tough but c'mon a LOT of it is psychological. CBT helps, but people just want more drugs.

 

I read a thread the other day where somebody was saying an aspirin caused them to have symptoms for weeks. That's just fear mongering, the average person shouldn't have to read something like that.

 

There are good people here, no doubt. You are all good people, REMEMBER THAT! But ya'll need to dig yourselves out of the rut you're in...go outside. Get some exercise.

 

......and you have some proof to back up that claim? Funny - I actually thought that we were reacting to ingesting a chemical. Psychological? I don't think so.

 

I’m one of the lucky ones too, who hasn’t suffered too badly since I started my taper, but that doesn’t mean that I dismiss other people’s suffering by saying it’s “psychological”.  I think you’re being very unkind.

 

I agree that it’s up to everyone to get themselves out of the hole they’re in. No one else can do it for us, but please try to have some empathy for other people, even if you can’t relate to what they are going through.

 

[[no...]]

After reading all of the posts in this thread, I often wondered about the cult thing. Thanks for clearing that up. Never felt like it was a cult. Should probably stop using that word.

 

Honestly, I love this place because when I do feel like crap, it's helpful to put it out there, rather than to suffer alone while watching another pointless series on Netflix and loathing on myself like a little girl.

 

On the other hand, it's nice to do that here. Loathing. Little girl. Because there are others going through similar circumstances.

[[fr...]]

I can't help but feel that benzobuddies is doing more damage than helping. Over 95% of the posts here are filled with despair and negativity. I read about experiences with symptoms that I never have and never will have, but the post rubs off on me anyway. Every once in a while, you get trolls who take advantage of people in this neurotic state.

 

Success stories are rare. Most of them are titled something like "I feel 100% healed today!" then when you read it, they say that in reality, they are only 75% healed 8 months in, with windows that come and go.

 

I don't really know why I keep coming here. It's like an addiction almost, plus I don't really have anything better to do because I'm housebound and so dysfunctional. For some people, they have built their entire identity around their anguish and the fact that they are sick. Being so immersed in this site is an addiction in and of itself.

 

It's like members of AA in way... they quit drinking, and replace one addiction with another. The addiction here, would be God or the 12 steps.

 

But at the end of the day, even watching mindless TV would be better than benzobuddies, because at least it would be a good distraction and not so hopelessly negative.

 

When I googled benzo buddies the other day, one of the results that came up was someone saying it is like a cult. I'm starting to think this is kinda true.

 

Thoughts?

 

I think your comments are coming from your own way of looking at things and is not the reality that I see anyway. When I read about other people's horror stories it doesn't scare me, it ENCOURAGES me. Why? I am grateful that as bad as this is, other people are surviving far worse than what I am going through and if they can do it so can I. I admire them and feel great compassion for them. Those are not negative feelings, they are positive ones. I am well aware that I probably won't have all of the possible symptoms discussed here but if I do I wont be totally blindsided by it because I will have been forewarned. If coming here makes you feel worse then you have to ask yourself why and be the change you want to see. You are free to post as many positive things as you like but quite frankly yours is the most negative post I have read and I do feel insulted.

[[fr...]]

Well I just looked and saw that the original post was a month ago so what I said doesn't apply so much any more. Glad to see you have changed your mind JC90. This is the best place I have ever found because I have finally found a community of people who understand me. I think years from now I will still come back here. If I could find other forums that discuss the other problems I have as well as this one, it would be awesome.

[[fi...]]

I have received much encouragement and understanding here, especially when others close to me couldn't really identify with what I was going through.  I'm grateful for BenzoBuddies.

[[...]]

Hello,

 

I believe this medicine can cause ALL of us to say and perceive life/things in a skewed way, saying stuff we wish we would not have (I do...I probably will for this).  It's the medicine, let's remember that and not be too hard on each other (hasn't 'life', people, family and friends done enough of that).  The fact that we all have found this place and have the strength and courage to post, is a sign of reaching out.  And, sometimes we (I know I have) reach out in anger, frustration and LOVE.  But, we're reaching out.  When we hurt we want others to understand/feel that hurt.  We don't want to feel alone and here we're not.

 

I think we are all searching for the WHY?  We vent and that IS okay.  I do not know the personal circumstances of anyone here, all of us our unique and yet we can all relate to the effects this medicine has caused us.  But, we are really strangers to one another.  Generally, we know (pertaining to the medication) because we have experienced it and can share, validate and support one another.  That's how I view BB.  We can lovingly correct but, lets not admonish one another.  Like I said, the world has done enough of that (at least in my case).  This is a SAFE place.

 

I am thankful for all of you, your positive AND negative posts.  If they were all positive - how would we possibly grow?  We learn from each other.

 

peace

eli

[[fi...]]

Hello,

 

I believe this medicine can cause ALL of us to say and perceive life/things in a skewed way, saying stuff we wish we would not have (I do...I probably will for this).  It's the medicine, let's remember that and not be too hard on each other (hasn't 'life', people, family and friends done enough of that).  The fact that we all have found this place and have the strength and courage to post, is a sign of reaching out.  And, sometimes we (I know I have) reach out in anger, frustration and LOVE.  But, we're reaching out.  When we hurt we want others to understand/feel that hurt.  We don't want to feel alone and here we're not.

 

I think we are all searching for the WHY?  We vent and that IS okay.  I do not know the personal circumstances of anyone here, all of us our unique and yet we can all relate to the effects this medicine has caused us.  But, we are really strangers to one another.  Generally, we know (pertaining to the medication) because we have experienced it and can share, validate and support one another.  That's how I view BB.  We can lovingly correct but, lets not admonish one another.  Like I said, the world has done enough of that (at least in my case).  This is a SAFE place.

 

I am thankful for all of you, your positive AND negative posts.  If they were all positive - how would we possibly grow?  We learn from each other.

 

peace

eli

 

Great words of wisdom, Eli.

[[ig...]]

Hi everybody,

here's my take on things. I don't believe this is a toxic place--it's a forum for discussing how we feel,

how we deal with life and so on.

And here's the kicker: there are likely no sociopaths on this site!

Compare that to the rest of the world...

Most people here are loving, caring human beings. I see posts where people are concerned

about how they perform at jobs, how they treat people..

This place is a haven.

I also have CFS/Fibro and I was on a forum for that quite a while back, and it was

very similar...there was a lot of caring, there were a lot of creative coping strategies--

just like here.

That's my take.

All my best, and sending windows to all,

Iggy