This place seems so... toxic

[[...]]

I can't help but feel that benzobuddies is doing more damage than helping. Over 95% of the posts here are filled with despair and negativity. I read about experiences with symptoms that I never have and never will have, but the post rubs off on me anyway. Every once in a while, you get trolls who take advantage of people in this neurotic state.

 

Success stories are rare. Most of them are titled something like "I feel 100% healed today!" then when you read it, they say that in reality, they are only 75% healed 8 months in, with windows that come and go.

 

I don't really know why I keep coming here. It's like an addiction almost, plus I don't really have anything better to do because I'm housebound and so dysfunctional. For some people, they have built their entire identity around their anguish and the fact that they are sick. Being so immersed in this site is an addiction in and of itself.

 

It's like members of AA in way... they quit drinking, and replace one addiction with another. The addiction here, would be God or the 12 steps.

 

But at the end of the day, even watching mindless TV would be better than benzobuddies, because at least it would be a good distraction and not so hopelessly negative.

 

When I googled benzo buddies the other day, one of the results that came up was someone saying it is like a cult. I'm starting to think this is kinda true.

 

Thoughts?

[[ge...]]

The benzobuddies cult was started by a sick older man who basically preys on people in benzo wd.

 

I think benzo buddies can be negative, but that's because this experience is negative. People have weird symptoms and want reassurance that this is part of wd, that they are not sick with something else, and that they will recover.

 

People tend to leave when feeling better without posting success stories because this is so horrid that most just want to leave it behind them. Most people tend to fade away and only a handful write success stories.

 

I do think it can be addicting to stay on the forum.... I have been thinking the same thing for myself, but I need the validation and I have friends here. If you visit blogs and accentuate the positive, the faith board, there is much more positivity. I a, at the point of addiction, and need to find other things to focus on. I think focusing so much on wd can promote it so I know what you mean....

[[2t...]]

I can't help but feel that benzobuddies is doing more damage than helping. Over 95% of the posts here are filled with despair and negativity. I read about experiences with symptoms that I never have and never will have, but the post rubs off on me anyway. Every once in a while, you get trolls who take advantage of people in this neurotic state.

 

Success stories are rare. Most of them are titled something like "I feel 100% healed today!" then when you read it, they say that in reality, they are only 75% healed 8 months in, with windows that come and go.

 

I don't really know why I keep coming here. It's like an addiction almost, plus I don't really have anything better to do because I'm housebound and so dysfunctional. For some people, they have built their entire identity around their anguish and the fact that they are sick. Being so immersed in this site is an addiction in and of itself.

 

It's like members of AA in way... they quit drinking, and replace one addiction with another. The addiction here, would be God or the 12 steps.

 

But at the end of the day, even watching mindless TV would be better than benzobuddies, because at least it would be a good distraction and not so hopelessly negative.

 

When I googled benzo buddies the other day, one of the results that came up was someone saying it is like a cult. I'm starting to think this is kinda true.

 

Thoughts?

 

I believe the BB forum presents a distorted view because:

1. People who do not have trouble coming off benzos never join the forum

2. People who join and have an easy time stop posting

 

It may also be the case that 80% of the postings are made by 20% of the forum members. I've never doubted that the forum presents a "worst case" view of withdrawal. It's not that I doubt the stories I read here - it's just that I don't believe they are representative of the population at large.

 

The percentage of people (probably small) that really struggle with withdrawal are definitely over represented here. But for those who really struggle, it serves a worthwhile purpose.

 

Those who are troubled by the postings on the forum will eventually do one of two things:

1. Leave the forum

2. Admit to themselves that they are among the unlucky ones.

 

I was slow to accept the fact that I was among the unlucky ones.

[[Ho...]]

I can't help but feel that benzobuddies is doing more damage than helping. Over 95% of the posts here are filled with despair and negativity. I read about experiences with symptoms that I never have and never will have, but the post rubs off on me anyway. Every once in a while, you get trolls who take advantage of people in this neurotic state.

 

Success stories are rare. Most of them are titled something like "I feel 100% healed today!" then when you read it, they say that in reality, they are only 75% healed 8 months in, with windows that come and go.

 

I don't really know why I keep coming here. It's like an addiction almost, plus I don't really have anything better to do because I'm housebound and so dysfunctional. For some people, they have built their entire identity around their anguish and the fact that they are sick. Being so immersed in this site is an addiction in and of itself.

 

It's like members of AA in way... they quit drinking, and replace one addiction with another. The addiction here, would be God or the 12 steps.

 

But at the end of the day, even watching mindless TV would be better than benzobuddies, because at least it would be a good distraction and not so hopelessly negative.

 

When I googled benzo buddies the other day, one of the results that came up was someone saying it is like a cult. I'm starting to think this is kinda true.

 

Thoughts?

 

I share your concerns. At one point BB was a more supportive forum with less "horror" stories. However, as other benzo support forums have shut down, their members have arrived here. Perhaps those support forums used a different format than BB.

 

As for this being a cult. As has been discussed many, many times...the blog you read was written by an ex-member who had a hissy fit when he was banned for abusing the members of this and other forums. This is his "revenge". He writes a blog that no one reads unless they stumble upon it as you did. He's one weird man who lives alone and spends 18 hours a day putting disturbing images together and copying posts from this...as well as other forums.

 

Hey, anyone can write anything on the internet and if you want to believe it, that's up to you. However, BB has been up and running and has helped countless people for 8 years (or is it 9). I know the owner well and as many here will tell you, he runs this site with compassion and a clear understanding of benzos and related problems. In comparison, the blogger has been writing his blog for 2 years and has helped no one. In fact, has hurt many.

 

Here's a thread that might give you some insight.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=83051.0

[[Fo...]]

I agree with some of your points.

 

More damage, possibly depending on who's looking. The stories are scary and sometimes when I come on I just get freaked the f*&^ out! I think some live in this place and it's hard to grow if this is all you know.

 

I don't have all the answers, obviously, but I think all things that are meant for support can look like a cult depending on who's looking.

[[Ch...]]

I'm sorry you feel that way JC although I do understand how it can seem so overwhelming and distressing at times.

 

When I did my taper (4 years ago, at another forum) it was actually the authors of the "horror stories" who helped me the most.

They extended their compassion, support and affection to me and I benefited tremendously from their experience.

I've remained friends with quite a few of them and can assure you that most, if not all of them, are doing better.

Maybe not all healed 100% but certainly recovering significantly and in a much better place than they were back then.

 

I hope you'll stick around.

 

Best,

Chinook

[[Ga...]]

It might seem depressing if you have no problems just quitting.

 

it is good to have support through this because as many others here have stated, your Dr most likely wont lend any support other than tell you something like 'it cant be benzos, youve been off them for a month'.

And then try to put you on other meds

 

most people here are trying to undo the damage they did or taper off them.

[[Py...]]

Benzo buddies has helped me

its good to know that this is a normal reaction to quitting benzos, For a while i thought i was dying

[[Di...]]

You've asked for my thoughts. Well here they are..... for better or for worse....

 

The thing I find strange about your post, is that you came here looking for support (you even used that word in your intro post), but are now complaining because there are too many other people also looking for support, and complaining that they're being too "negative". Then you even go so far as to call BB “toxic”.

 

I’m not sure what you thought they would find when you came to a forum where people are having trouble with benzo dependency.  Is everyone supposed to be prancing around like happy puppies? A lot of people here are in a lot of pain, and they are going to talk about it and ask for help and support. Are they supposed to pretend they’re not in pain, just so they don’t upset other people's sensitivities?

 

Of course the majority of posts are going to be fairly negative, mainly because it is mostly the people who are having the most trouble who are going to post the most. That’s what a “support” forum is designed for. Those who are doing okay are either not going to come here in the first place, aren't going to post very much because they don’t really have that much to say, or they’re going to leave BB. Others who are doing okay, like myself, are going to try to respond to people who need help with some support and advice. I try to use compassion to help other people, instead of claiming that they’re just replacing one “addiction” for another.

 

Making any kind of claim that BB it is a “cult” or “toxic” is just plain shameful, and is just as crazy as that creepy old guy who lives in his basement spending his life obsessing about BB. Without BB I quite possibly would have ended my life by now. If you think that “even watching mindless TV would be better than benzobuddies”, then maybe that’s what you should do instead of posting even more negativity.

 

I’m sorry to everyone if my post is a bit blunt, but frankly today I’ve come across a few posters who are being either very unhelpful, unsupportive, sarcastic, arrogant or just plain trollish, and it’s getting me down a bit – then I see this post. I’m not saying the JC90 is doing any of those things, but I just get a bit tired of reading these types of posts complaining about how “negative” BB and its posters are. Maybe I'm just tooting my own horn, but I know how much I've managed to help other people since I've been here.

[[mp...]]

I truly don't think I'd be alive today if I hadn't have found BB. If some of my most beloved buddies hadn't rushed in to give me specific help when I had some of my darkest hours, I would be on the streets.

 

I am so very thankful for this forum!

 

M.

[[re...]]

The only thing "toxic" about this forum is this kind of bogus post.

[[Di...]]

I liked your first post better redevan. 

 

Yeah, it does make you wonder doesn't it.....

[[mp...]]

The only thing "toxic" about this forum is this kind of bogus post.

I too preferred your original post. When I came back to view the additional reply, I saw your edited post, and thought dr was really hitting me big time - especially since your edited reply doesn't indicate that you edited it. How can that be possible? I think everytime I go back to change my replies, it shows up as "... last edited by mplsgrl..." 

 

Thank you.

 

M. 

[[Be...]]

I don't know where I'd be without this BB forum and my benzowise doctor who told me I was in PAWS a week off the pills.  When someone is housebound, lonely and scared, this place is a comfort and the people kind and supportive, for the most part.  I did hear of a doctor who said to stay off the internet because you'll swap symptoms.  I've thought hard about that one and feel that I would be having these s/x's anyway, the w/d is more powerful than my mind can imagine up s/x's.  I did get a bit frightened at first with the protracted posts, but I'm ok with them now and realized what everyone says repeatedly, everyone's w/d is unique and each heals at their own pace.  Knowledge is power, too, to learn all you can about your w/d.  I try not live on the forum, but do other things during the day to keep busy, and spend some evenings here.

[[Di...]]

The only thing "toxic" about this forum is this kind of bogus post.

I too preferred your original post. When I came back to view the additional reply, I saw your edited post, and thought dr was really hitting me big time - especially since your edited reply doesn't indicate that you edited it. How can that be possible? I think everytime I go back to change my replies, it shows up as "... last edited by mplsgrl..." 

 

Thank you.

 

M. 

 

You get a 10 minute "grace" period to make any edits to your posts without it showing that you have made an edit. After that, the edit message shows.

[[...]]

I’m sorry to everyone if my post is a bit blunt, but frankly today I’ve come across a few posters who are being either very unhelpful, unsupportive, sarcastic, arrogant or just plain trollish, and it’s getting me down a bit – then I see this post. I’m not saying the JC90 is doing any of those things, but I just get a bit tired of reading these types of posts complaining about how “negative” BB and its posters are. Maybe I'm just tooting my own horn, but I know how much I've managed to help other people since I've been here.

I don't see anything negative about telling it like it is.     

[[Ma...]]

Well, when I came on here I was terrified out of my mind from withdrawal. 

 

It was physical, and chemically induced fear.  I needed to talk about that with others, and only people on here seemed to understand that and I found validation for what I was feeling.  Still terrifying to go through.

 

I'm still tapering, but the over the top fear has subsided.  Yes, I think there were times when the stuff I read on here terrified me even more.  It is hard, when you are in a state of fear like that, from excitotoxicity, to sort out what is a realistic fear and what is not.  There were some posts that triggered terror in me.

 

It did help me to stop obsessing on this site.  I found other things that took my attention off the taper, and I do believe that has helped me alot.  I will still come here, but I am not reading excessively anymore.

 

But on the other hand, I learned about this.  I learned about going slow, ten percent or less every two weeks.  That is invaluable knowledge.  Thank God I learned that.  I also learned several other things that were practical in regards to benzos, such as what they really do to the body.  Excitotoxcity, the interaction of Gaba and the other one, what is that now?  lol.  The opposite of Gaba. lol.  Oh dear, I forget the word.

 

But that is probably good I forgot the word. lol.  Well to anyone that is reading this, stay away from the horror stories when you are in a bad anxiety and fear state.  What good will it do to read more horror than you are already experiencing?  Just read very matter of fact stuff then.

 

Oh yeah, Glutamate!  that's it.

 

I am happy I have this site, even though it did terrify me sometimes.  But it is not all horror and my personal glutamate induced horror has subsided as I have taken this taper slowly.

 

If this makes any sense to anyone, good lol.

 

[[fi...]]

I have definitely found both encouragement and pertinent information here on BB, even though I am still on Klonopin.  I think one must be wise in what they read so as to not get discouraged, since we all are at different points in our taper.

[[...]]

I think BB can help people. I'm sure of it actually. But I sometimes think that it's a competition here, like who suffers the most. It's easy to get sucked into that competition.

 

I don't think anyone should be angry with JC90. When someone who's still fragile wants to heal and be positive, he can still be influenced by people who are telling everyone it's never going to get better. I think that's the case for JC90.

 

JC90, there are a lot of benzo users on this planet. Most people don't speak English or found a forum in their own countries, or just didn't look for it. I didn't look for it when I quit. Most people quit on their own or in detox, without being here to tell us about it. They heal and just go on with their lives.

 

Most people here haven't healed within a few weeks. People who have move on or - like me - try to share their knowledge, doubts, experiences. But the message of fast healing seems misplaced here on BB somehow. Again, competition.

 

A lot of stories contain the words 'friends' 'family' and so on, followed by a very negative view on life. I just don't get that. It seems very positive to me when you have friends and family. Some people don't have those anymore. So I get someone who says that BB can be negative sometimes.

 

 

[[sp...]]

Hello,

 

There's a very thin line between being "negative" and telling it like it is. I defy anyone to find the overwhemingly positive in a difficult withdrawal.

 

I came here late in an awful taper. It continued to be horrendous but I no longer felt frightened and alone. I knew what could happen so wasn't routinely terrified if it did. Heather Ashton mentions that the fear of symptoms can be half the problem.

 

As to the "Suffering Stakes", part of withdrawal that's often mentioned here is the feeling that you are worse than others, that no-one understands how awful you feel, that you are going to be THE one who never heals.

 

And I felt all that, and still do on a bad day. The difference is that now I know it's withdrawal and it too will pass.

 

While it does some kind stranger will always take the time, even if unwell themselves, to offer sympathy and help. I continue to be amazed by that; I continue to value it above everything else.

 

Be well,

 

spartacus.

[Guest [Po...]]

I don't think I have ever come across anyone on this site 'telling everyone its never going to get better', I have come across people who, quite understandably,  say they 'fear' it will never get better,  which is a completely different matter, and if people on this site cannot support and sympathise with that fear, then where can anybody, in that horrible situation, find any support?

[[IG...]]

    I think there are a whole lots of Doctors who are in a whole lot of trouble for handing out a whole lot of prescriptions and the horror story's could get a whole lot worse as they c/t their patients to save their sorry asses.

[[2t...]]

    I think there are a whole lots of Doctors who are in a whole lot of trouble for handing out a whole lot of prescriptions and the horror story's could get a whole lot worse as they c/t their patients to save their sorry asses.

 

This seems like an extreme view to me. I believe that doctors are clueless about worst case benzo withdrawal because they see so little of it. Also, withdrawal patients report such a wide variety of diverse and puzzling symptoms that the condition is easily misdiagnosed as something else.

 

The forum now has over 11,000 members (past inactive ones counted also). This is a tiny number when compared to the tens of millions of people worldwide who take benzodiazepines.

 

The medical community is unaware if the problem and individual doctors are ill equipped to treat severe benzo withdrawal because it is rare, and they are lied to by the drug companies.

 

Psychiatrists are in a better position than other doctors to diagnose and treat severe benzo withdrawal. I might be tempted to agree with your indictment of doctors it you limit it Psychiatrists. I believe they have a vested interest in all psychiatric drugs, and cannot start down the slippery slope of admitting their drugs are dangerous and ineffective.

[[Be...]]

From the beginning of withdrawal, I have always had a strong sense that good things would come.  I found bb's after I had gone through the worst.  I didn't know that at the time I joined.  Still, I find bb's to be a vehicle, very much like therapy, to share. 

 

I think a lot of things about bb's.  But I find a very strong sense of identification here.  I don't get quite the same feeling from other meetings.  They just aren't the same for me.  BB's provides a unique experience that is overwhelmingly soothing.  I hurt terribly when I read some of the posts here.  Over the past few days several posters have reinstated, and that hurts me.  I shed some tears last night because of the suffering I've seen recently.  I shed tears frequently when reading here because there is much pain here.  But that's ok, because at the end of the week, the strong sense I had for myself early on is still there for each and every poster who gets on to talk about this.  I find a real sense of community here born from all the feelings I have everytime I read.  The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

 

For me, the end game justifies all the emotions I feel from all the suffering.  But I always keep in mind that at some point for everyone, things will get better. I draw strength during the day and sleep better at night with the understanding I get from bb's. 

[[mp...]]

The only thing "toxic" about this forum is this kind of bogus post.

I too preferred your original post. When I came back to view the additional reply, I saw your edited post, and thought dr was really hitting me big time - especially since your edited reply doesn't indicate that you edited it. How can that be possible? I think everytime I go back to change my replies, it shows up as "... last edited by mplsgrl..." 

 

Thank you.

 

M. 

 

You get a 10 minute "grace" period to make any edits to your posts without it showing that you have made an edit. After that, the edit message shows.

 

Thank you! You see, after joining BB 2 years ago, I'm still learning everyday.  But I just have to add that drastically changing a reply can effect our benzo brains still in the healing process. As for me, I only edit for spelling or grammar. 

 

M.