Okay I need answers - who can answer these questions?

[Guest [St...]]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

  Maybe he is part native american, they don't grow beards.

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

  The same reason we keep pushing the button on a remote even though we know it doesn't work.

 

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

  So they can make more money off of the poor people, thats what they are there for.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

  They don't want to hit their heads and pass out before they dive bomb their target, plus the have oxygen running into the helmet to help them breath and not pass out.

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

  It would be hard to count that many stars and after a few million most people would lose count and have to start over thus making it an endless cycle. Wet paint is really easy to check.

 

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

  If it wasn't for the s then it would just be lip.

 

What is the speed of darkness?

  Approximately 186,282 miles per second the same speed of light as it moves by.

 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

  I do sleep like a baby when I'm on call, I wake up every couple of hours and check my phone to make sure I didn't miss a call.

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

  -8.8889 deg. Celsius

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

  It only seems longer.

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

  After the astronauts came back to earth they had a hard time carrying their luggage so they put wheels on them. 

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

  because of the nice view. I love tall buildings. Also maybe to see what the would land on if the jumped.

 

Did you ever stop and wonder...

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

  This one I don't know since I don't drink milk.

 

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

  Maybe because it was an egg and not something brown and moist. On another note why do dogs eat each others poop? Do the other dog ear better dog food?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

  This so you can toast frozen things. I keep my bread in the freezer since it would other wis go bad before I could eat it.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

  That is a very good question.

 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

  People might get the wrong impression.

 

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

  Being a guy I have never had that experience.

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

  I think Goofy is a mutant mix between dog and human while Pluto is just a dog, and unfortunately not a planet any more.

 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

  Tests I guess would be testicles.

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

  It is made from babies, but lets just keep that a secret between us.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

  For the most part yes.

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

  They are just hacks and couldn't be original.

 

Stop singing and read on......

 

 

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

  Since Alphabet soup hardly ever really spells a actual word out it might be the cause of people being illiterate.

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

  It's all in what they smell.

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

  No, but taking the stairs usually gets you there much quicker.

 

Thanks Sebs,

 

I think most are pretty spot on except the Kamikaze.  I have my own theory on that one.

 

Nice Answers

 

Staffy

[[...]]

    I tried my best. Thanks for liking my answers. Another frequently asked question is why do people drive on the parkway and park in their driveway? For this I would have so say for the most part if you live in a big city then you probably drive more in you driveway than on a parkway because of all the traffic. I have lived in some big cities and being on the parkway during traffic you are lucky to move 5 feet per minute, whereas in your driveway its pretty much smooth sailing until you hit the streets. One question I havn't been able to answer is what do you add to powdered water?

[[re...]]

Well powdered water would have to be ice crystals, wouldn't it?

So I'd add heat.

[[...]]

    Good answer!

[Guest [St...]]

Riddle me this

 

1, 1 was a racehorse and 2, 2 was 1, 2.  If 1, 1 was a racehorse and 2, 2, was 1, 2 how was 3 also 1?

 

Go to it.........

 

 

Staffy

[[...]]

Staffy forget it when it comes to numbers

 

DD

[[Zi...]]

What do you call somebody who doubts the existence of two gods?

 

He is a diagnostic.

[Guest [St...]]

What do you call somebody who doubts the existence of two gods?

 

He is a diagnostic.

 

:thumbsup:

 

I love this one.

[[ih...]]

Me too 

[[...]]

Who was the brilliant person who named a bird who pecks wood a ...

 

woodpecker!

 

How original!