I don't want to lose my membership

[[pa...]]

Lucky??

 

I lost my mind, 36lbs, my ability to drive, eat, sleep,screw be a father, husband. Wound up on a psych ward. Lost my job. If that is lucky, I would hate to see unlucky.

 

And you are like the 90th person to suggest that bad symptoms are right around the corner.

 

BMWZW is far out on the curve. He knows that. It is unfortunate, but his suffering exceeds what is usually seen this far out. It is not a critisizm. I truly feel bad for him.

 

T.  Seems like you were waiting for my reply.. Just happen to come back to Off the Topics for another thread.. See you replied.. I'm sorry you have gone through so much..  My statement in "being lucky", was by your signature, you stated you healed in 9 weeks.  Ok!

 

No, B is NOT far out on the curve... that's what the problem was in your post.  He is suffering, and what RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT TO HIM?  Does that help him?  No, YOU ARE INCORRECT AND WRONG. 

 

My mother taught my sisters and myself one thing about life... IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING POSTIIVE TO SAY.. THEN DON'T THEY ANYTHING AT ALL...  So.. I suggest in future posts to anyone.. that message.  Its quite apparent there has been a problem with you on what you have been doing, as there would not have been a problem with the Team with you...  Your the one that put it on the open forum for one and all to see. 

 

My suggestion... be SUPPORTIVE... not with your words like you used with B.. You were and totally off based.  I'm sorry you have gone through so much... but you know what... so have so many others..  Patty

[[ch...]]

 

 

OK, I'll bite. I usually stay away from these discussions but I cannot stand to see the bickering between members. I do not understand why anyone cares how another person tapers. I assume the person has given it a great deal of thought and is doing their best. So, if a c/t and detox worked for you, then I would believe a good way to go about supporting members who are also doing a rapid taper or c/t would be to say: This is what my circumstances were, this is what I did, and I hope this information helps make your road easier. If you did a slow taper, I would think you could also say the following: This is what my circumstances are, this is what is working for me, and I hope this makes your road easier.

 

If a person is having difficulty in withdrawal why does it matter to you they are in the midst of a taper OR a c/t? The symptoms suck either way. In my experience people are looking for validation and information. Everyone is in the position to do this on this board.

 

I have never been swayed too much by other people's opinions on my taper. I have found good information here and I have traveled my own road. I have great support outside this forum with Dr's who believe me and have helped me. Many are not so fortunate and can be more easily swayed. Do people not grasp this basic tenet-- that just because it worked for you, it may not work for others?

 

This forum is made up of people who do not respond to getting off benzos in a typical way, so obviously each person has their own road to travel. There is NO right way. I am sure EVERY person on this forum wishes they had an easier road. So let's try to find what unites us, and not divides us.

 

Benzo withdrawal is hard. Any which way you look at it. Let's just respect each other's paths and share what worked or didn't work for us, encourage others to stay the course, and hope for the best.

 

xo

 

I think you are overlooking the main source of conflict. When someone is asking for taper advice, they sometimes get very divergent poinths of view. I rarely give the same advice to more than one person. I advise based on situation. If someone is pre-taper, I advise them to beging slowly and cautiously because a bad start to a taper can screw things up down the road. But when I see someone on 40mg or more of benzos who is already in acute withdrawal and suffering obvious comorbidity, I will mention the inpatient option. Invariably I get attacked for this. Yet the people advising go alow go slow are automatically assumed to be right. This is where I have experienced conflict. The folks who are tapering away happily and making progress, however slow, don't need tapering advice from me or anyone else.

 

I believe that you are sincere and you really want to help people and that is a good thing! I think what you are not seeing is a "tone" thing-- and I say this honestly with no agenda other than to help you see why people are reacting to your posts. You said " I advise based on the situation." That's just it-- maybe not so much "advise"-- but, just support. I did read some of your posts and I see what the issue is. You are forthright and to the point and eager to help but, you are dealing with people who are stressed and overwhelmed and are very vulnerable. Sometimes your words are flippant and I am sure that is not your intent. At the end of the day, I think people are fairly committed to their way of doing it and just want someone to help them fine tune their way. When I am well enough to help out here, I try to stick with what I know. For example, I think you would be an awesome advocate to someone who was forced to go C/T. That is a person who can be reassured based on your experience that it may not be as awful as they think. Do you see how helpful you could be on those types of threads? Also, many people do not want to go on to another drug after a benzo so they do not see going C/T and being put on a couple of A/d as a good alternative for them. There have been many threads from people who are considering going on an A/D and are worried. You can be a good support to them as well as you seem to have had a really good experience with it. So, I think to fine tune this if someone is wondering should I go on an A/D you would have a lot of good things to say. It may be better if you don't suggest solutions yourself but perhaps give good anecdotal support to those who who are looking for information about a solution they came up with themselves. Does this make sense?

 

I really do believe you have a lot to offer here. Your experience is valuable and I am glad you are feeling so much better. I wish you many more good days ahead!

 

[Guest [...]]

Nice one, Chrysanthemum! Very well put.

 

Hope you are doing OK too, by the way! 

[[pa...]]

Nice one, Chrysanthemum! Very well put.

 

Hope you are doing OK too, by the way! 

 

Yes I also agree..  Very well put.. Patty

 

[[Ho...]]

I couldn't agree more.

[[pa...]]

Lucky??

 

I lost my mind, 36lbs, my ability to drive, eat, sleep,screw be a father, husband. Wound up on a psych ward. Lost my job. If that is lucky, I would hate to see unlucky.

 

And you are like the 90th person to suggest that bad symptoms are right around the corner.

 

BMWZW is far out on the curve. He knows that. It is unfortunate, but his suffering exceeds what is usually seen this far out. It is not a critisizm. I truly feel bad for him.

 

T.. just to followup..  My husband's thought he was losing his mind.. the drug.. but his brother had schizophrenia from 1963, ill until he passed in 2007.  My husband was a devoted brother to his brother, went to the pschy wards/state hspts.  the suffering my husband saw with his brother was beyond words.  Through stupid docs and what occurred with a reaction my husband was put on benzos... then I found the Ashton Manual..  From the horror of these drugs, what my husband saw and went through with his brother... no one should ever suffer with those thoughts going through this... my husband thought he was going to be in the same situation.  With me.. there was no way he ever would, as I knew who my husband was and is, and I would beat all to hell and back to help him through this.  We have.. we are getting there.

 

No... I'm not saying or suggesting that bad symptoms are around the corner for you.  It does happen with some.. I pray it never does for you.  Its just when one comes across as you have, ones that have healing in a short time... its what... were the hell are they coming from.. we're happy for them.. but......?  It sounds like boasting.. and knocking others down.. that's how it comes across.  Read what C wrote... she is totally correct in how she explained all.

 

Best to you always.  Patty

 

[[Ca...]]

Tortoise

 

I read your signature and am massively jealous of your speedy recovery

I am almost 10 months off.

Carol

[[pa...]]

T...  Something I was just advised of by some other bbs... You are a Pathologist and your spouse is an M.D.  Patty

[Guest [...]]

Xana

 

hey my dear friend we are polar opposites but have always respected each other.  Im your biggest fan trust me there is no way in hell that If I could be happy on benzos that I would get off.  Clearly you still have your vibrant personality and you are never nasty or critical of others.  You were there for me from day dot and never judged me so you do what you want.  I have many friends I support who are doing titration or whatever and I never judge them actually quite the opposite.  Those who know me know how i operate I dont have to prove it to anyone thats for sure.  Your genious status has been updated because you are being smart and evaluating whether or not coming off is the best thing for you to do.  anyway how this got to be such a heated thread has me beat I mean its about tortoise remaining on the forum now its another c/t turtle taper debate perhaps tortoise should have name himself turkey instead of tortoise.  I like tortoise clearly he is a supporter of me but he speaks his mind what happened to free speech.  A lot of stuff he says makes sense things were not working for him and just like me we went wtf this sucks we are getting off before we do something stupid to ourselves.  Anyway I had a great day at the beach walked for miles then went shopping and I have a job interview on Tuesday so I really dont see myself as to much of a failure atm.  Not saying im ready to work but im going to give it a go.  peace

 

 

[Guest [...]]

Whew!

 

I've been wondering where you were all day! I thought you might have been upset by some of the comments here.  Should have known you would have been out gallivanting! Summer is here today, for sure. The ceiling fans are on.

 

I think we are only opposites in minor things. I think most of our life values are very similar and that is the important stuff. I am your fan too!

 

I only found this thread because I was checking what you were up to today. I had been clacking away on my own blog.

 

I am very jealous of your job interview. Jealous that you have the guts to go for it. I doubt my capabilities so much.

 

Thank you for your kind words about me. I appreciate your support so much. And your sense of humour.

 

Oh well, we are going out for dinner soon so I had better go and do something about my face. 

 

Love from Xana x

 

 

[Guest [...]]

oh dont worry im going to stick around im not going to leave my buddies right its either here or facebook and you know that is such a load of crap reduced to people posting what they are having for dinner etc you know how it is.  That all seems so trivial to me right now.  Oh the job thing is so funny I randomly sent off this online application just doing a bit of practise and they then ring me when i was in a deranged wave omg letting me know they loved it ahahah i dont remember what I wrote but clearly my c/t didnt derange me to much and i just think if i can hang on here all day fighting i need to get my arse out working and at least get paid for my madness.  Since ive been told im not fit to give any advice I wonder how i did my job all these years advising people on living their best life.  Regardless there are some great people on here as you well know.  Im happy your blog is still going i abandoned mine a long time ago sad really so much love on there but i just got tired of it all.    Have a great time out my dear friend have a glass for me you lucky thing im jealous and say hi to your hubby for me ok.  Thanks for being there regardless and yes i do agree poles apart in benzos only all the other stuff we are really similiar as you know.  Dont worry about the other comments xana im ok with people speaking their own truth however they should reread their stuff before the push the post button and ask themselves if what they have written is going to hurt someone.

 

chow for now xxxxx

[Guest [Po...]]

but Lizzy, would you take advice from anyone whose moods change as suddenly and unpredictably as yours do? I wouldn't, not until I knew you had been stable for at least a year.

 

i am not saying you don't help anyone on this site, so please do not be offended.

 

 

[Guest [...]]

LOL

 

lets put it this way YES 6 months ive been on here taking advice from people suffering withdrawal so I guess my bs is as good as the next person right.  Unpredictable and suddenly changing moods you quote.  Unpredictable and sudden mood swings sounds like classic withdrawal symptoms to me.  How freaky do you think you are after cold turkeying 4mg of xanax however five months off im getting real happy.  So you best get my unstable advice now while its free coz in a years time ill be charging again.

 

do i even know you?  how do you know my moods change suddenly and unpredictably my kids dont think so im clearly stable i came home after a cold turkey my kids never missed a meal or a hug and lots of them omg and im a woman im entitled to be a little moody it goes with the territory of being a woman.    I have a job interview on tuesday your really boosting my confidence up.  Ill  try not to be offended. 

[Guest [Po...]]

"Unpredictable and suddenly changing moods you quote.  Unpredictable and sudden mood swings sounds like classic withdrawal symptoms to me."

 

my point exactly, and I am not criticising you for having them

 

 

Good luck on Tuesday.

 

best wishes

[[ne...]]

Isn't it time to lock this extremely unproductive thread? 

[[to...]]

Isn't it time to lock this extremely unproductive thread? 

 

It is your opinion that this thread is unproductive. If others are posting on it maybe they find it useful. I don't like it when people call for a thread to be locked. It seems like a violation of free speech.

[[ja...]]

Ive just been reading through all of this. I read some yesterday. But somethings not sitting right with me.

 

Why do any of us want to hurt or put down anyone for the way they get off? I mean this is going to be the most hardest experience to go through for some. Not all. But if were here that means were having trouble with being On or getting Off this med. Or else we would never know this site exist.

 

Its really so Important that we all understand that were all so different and focus on One thing. Thats helping or getting Help to get through this with the most innocent intentions.

 

When I joined and still till this day. I never not one time looked at signatures as to how they got off or if there still on. All I would see was there Thread Posted and if it looked to me like Help was needed Regaurdless of How they were coming off or Got off. I ran to them.

 

IDK guys all I know is we just need to take our experience and how we got through and use it for Helping .Thats it.

 

You all know I only talk about one way of getting off with some Fear and thats C/T I only do that because I dont want anyone to have to Hurt so hard for a Extended amount of time. Not because Its the wrong way . Because its the Dangerious way!

 

I could be the kind of person who runs around and says Buck up.. I did a C/T so why cant you? Im Healed and I was so bad I should be dead. So if I can Do it .. So can YOU. I would NEVER ever say that.. Why? Cause I dont believe that! Thats just not how I Roll.

 

So for you Tortoise and Lizzy I think thank God you are both getting through sooner and not Later. I swear I think you both have so much to bring to the table. Your storys have both Pain and Gain. Your storys bring Hope to so many who worry so much if there screwed for a Long time.. Its people like you both that show a different Healing. Thats something I think that is so needed.. It just needs to be done with no Judgements just like all of us need to do.

 

IDK I see no reason for any of us to Judge or Push or do anything but Guide through this..

 

Tortoise... I hope you dont loose your membership. I really think if you let the Chip go off your shoulder ..And come on..You know you do have one.I say that with Kindness   People can take what you went through and benifit from it ...Ya feel me?

 

~Jenny

 

 

[[Vr...]]

Tortoise,

 

I really appreciate your perspective.  Your journey is just as valid as a micro taper yet there have been posts calling for this thread to be locked, that it's "crap" and so forth. 

 

I'm tapering slowly but not slow enough for some people - and they let me know about it.  Why is it all right for one crowd to browbeat and bully, judge and push around, those who do it a different way?  I, too, have been told I would NEVER heal properly if I didn't micro taper - that symptoms will always been around the corner.

 

I think the site rules prohibiting prescriptive language and making dx's are reasonable.  I've been to a lot of sites (from finance to psych health) and this site is exceptionally well moderated.  Basically they don't want people prescribing, diagnosing, and attacking each other.  I noticed right off they discourage the usual drama you might find at other sites.

 

I guess I'm guilty of keeping the drama going but wanted to say I get where you're coming from.

 

Ibble   

[[to...]]

Ive just been reading through all of this. I read some yesterday. But somethings not sitting right with me.

 

Why do any of us want to hurt or put down anyone for the way they get off? I mean this is going to be the most hardest experience to go through for some. Not all. But if were here that means were having trouble with being On or getting Off this med. Or else we would never know this site exist.

 

Its really so Important that we all understand that were all so different and focus on One thing. Thats helping or getting Help to get through this with the most innocent intentions.

 

When I joined and still till this day. I never not one time looked at signatures as to how they got off or if there still on. All I would see was there Thread Posted and if it looked to me like Help was needed Regaurdless of How they were coming off or Got off. I ran to them.

 

IDK guys all I know is we just need to take our experience and how we got through and use it for Helping .Thats it.

 

You all know I only talk about one way of getting off with some Fear and thats C/T I only do that because I dont want anyone to have to Hurt so hard for a Extended amount of time. Not because Its the wrong way . Because its the Dangerious way!

 

I could be the kind of person who runs around and says Buck up.. I did a C/T so why cant you? Im Healed and I was so bad I should be dead. So if I can Do it .. So can YOU. I would NEVER ever say that.. Why? Cause I dont believe that! Thats just not how I Roll.

 

So for you Tortoise and Lizzy I think thank God you are both getting through sooner and not Later. I swear I think you both have so much to bring to the table. Your storys have both Pain and Gain. Your storys bring Hope to so many who worry so much if there screwed for a Long time.. Its people like you both that show a different Healing. Thats something I think that is so needed.. It just needs to be done with no Judgements just like all of us need to do.

 

IDK I see no reason for any of us to Judge or Push or do anything but Guide through this..

 

Tortoise... I hope you dont loose your membership. I really think if you let the Chip go off your shoulder ..And come on..You know you do have one.I say that with Kindness   People can take what you went through and benifit from it ...Ya feel me?

 

~Jenny

 

Your very sweet Jenny. I think that chip on my shoulder is what got me on benzos in the first place.

[[ja...]]

Ive just been reading through all of this. I read some yesterday. But somethings not sitting right with me.

 

Why do any of us want to hurt or put down anyone for the way they get off? I mean this is going to be the most hardest experience to go through for some. Not all. But if were here that means were having trouble with being On or getting Off this med. Or else we would never know this site exist.

 

Its really so Important that we all understand that were all so different and focus on One thing. Thats helping or getting Help to get through this with the most innocent intentions.

 

When I joined and still till this day. I never not one time looked at signatures as to how they got off or if there still on. All I would see was there Thread Posted and if it looked to me like Help was needed Regaurdless of How they were coming off or Got off. I ran to them.

 

IDK guys all I know is we just need to take our experience and how we got through and use it for Helping .Thats it.

 

You all know I only talk about one way of getting off with some Fear and thats C/T I only do that because I dont want anyone to have to Hurt so hard for a Extended amount of time. Not because Its the wrong way . Because its the Dangerious way!

 

I could be the kind of person who runs around and says Buck up.. I did a C/T so why cant you? Im Healed and I was so bad I should be dead. So if I can Do it .. So can YOU. I would NEVER ever say that.. Why? Cause I dont believe that! Thats just not how I Roll.

 

So for you Tortoise and Lizzy I think thank God you are both getting through sooner and not Later. I swear I think you both have so much to bring to the table. Your storys have both Pain and Gain. Your storys bring Hope to so many who worry so much if there screwed for a Long time.. Its people like you both that show a different Healing. Thats something I think that is so needed.. It just needs to be done with no Judgements just like all of us need to do.

 

IDK I see no reason for any of us to Judge or Push or do anything but Guide through this..

 

Tortoise... I hope you dont loose your membership. I really think if you let the Chip go off your shoulder ..And come on..You know you do have one.I say that with Kindness   People can take what you went through and benifit from it ...Ya feel me?

 

~Jenny

 

Your very sweet Jenny. I think that chip on my shoulder is what got me on benzos in the first place.

Thank You Tortoise..I think that goes for so many of us.. But if I can just say to you through my experience and no not with Benzos. But with having a chip on my shoulder. If you can slowly remove it then True Gentleness and Truth can be seen from you so much better.

 

I know it takes a Lifetime of Hurt,Pain ,Rejection,Let Down,And Abandonment to get that Chip. But when we remove it its replaced with Wholeness and Grace. Stay focused on the big picture. And thats your getting better. Your going to have your life back. Its a good picture so try and smile and just know you have allot to offer here if its not side tracked by anything other then your truth and pureness of helping someone who needs You..

 

Hope that helps you a bit .I think its all so hard to not get Blinded and taken away from the true awesomness...And thats you getting through this.. And others..Not arguements.Not not following rules .Not anything that takes you away from the reason your here. All that other stuff is just gonna get in your way ..Its so not important in the grand scheme of things.

 

~Jenny

 

 

[[to...]]

Thank you Jenny

 

My wife keeps remining me of the things I told her when I was in the hospital. Along the lines of "if I get out of this I will be kinder, more laid back and more mindful". Now that I am back in the real world, I am finding it difficult to keep that promise.

[[Wi...]]

One of the hardest things for me in this w/d is that the warm fuzzy feeling seems to elude me and I find it takes extraordinary effort to see other's sides and respond with graciousness and gentleness.  Jenny, somehow you are able to exude kindness and compassion even when you disagree with a persons premise.  I don't know how you do it.  But it's an example of what I aspire too.  Thank you for being a shining example of what I and perhaps others are capable of.  You rock! 

[[ja...]]

One of the hardest things for me in this w/d is that the warm fuzzy feeling seems to elude me and I find it takes extraordinary effort to see other's sides and respond with graciousness and gentleness.  Jenny, somehow you are able to exude kindness and compassion even when you disagree with a persons premise.  I don't know how you do it.  But it's an example of what I aspire too.  Thank you for being a shining example of what I and perhaps others are capable of.  You rock! 

Aww WWW..

 

Your so great.. I think your a woman that many should aspire to be like.. I know I do..

 

[[pi...]]

Jenny,

 

You are such a wise and gentle soul. 

 

I believe its not so much what you bring to the table, but what you do with it once its there.

 

 

[[ja...]]

Thank you Jenny

 

My wife keeps remining me of the things I told her when I was in the hospital. Along the lines of "if I get out of this I will be kinder, more laid back and more mindful". Now that I am back in the real world, I am finding it difficult to keep that promise.

Its the most difficult rt? I know. I believe when were in such a suffering state were Like If I just get through this Ill change all the things about myself that arent good.

 

But then we start to feel better and the old habits start to peer in. Its a process to remove these traits that we have adopted for so long. But when its done not only do people feel closer to you.But YOU feel closer to the Real you. All this other stuff in life that brings forth Ego and Pride is really just a Huge Road Block to the Truth of who you really are.Or how wonderful your life can really be without them...

 

You have a great wife

 

~Jenny