Pay me my Poem

[[An...]]

Pay Me

 

It took my worry

 

It took my grief

 

It helped me fall away to sleep

 

It came in a bottle with my aliened

 

It helped me through my pain and fear I thought

 

Nothing but time went by with this crutch to lean

 

No friends to call my own

 

why would there be for there was no fun

 

Only suffering of the loves I loved to help

 

them call it a day when I wanted to run

 

The smell of a hospital day after day

 

Watching her fall through my hands like so many gains of sand

 

No matter how many good plans

 

No matter how many miles

 

the dread was always there

 

I used you to cope

 

I used you to smile

 

I used you to look in control

 

Nothing could sway me

 

Year after year nothing but time went by

 

The blur of my life and all the good in it

 

Has turned out to be nothing but a lie

 

It has shown up here today

 

with agony and pain

 

I know now it has brought more with you to see me pay for every time I took the coward's way

 

It is a time of reckoning and it wants only me to pay

 

You thought you got away it smiles uncaring and it stands strong to take me there again

 

It wants me to pay once more and then again and again

 

It wants me to learn there is no easy way not now not ever now here I am again and there is no place to hide

 

I want to be paid with not money but your life

 

Try if you will but it is no use

 

Now take my hand and a new Hell we will go

 

You see I have been keeping score and your way over due

 

Now pay me, pay me, pay me

 

That is all you can do

 

I know you thought oh not me

 

I never broke a rule so how can this be

 

but you are in it

 

this much is true

 

now lay down and I will let you know when I am through

[[Ch...]]

Annie, did you write the poem?  Amazing...    and poignant.