The Single Girls Club

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The married girls here on BB have very specific benefits and challenges due to the fact they have a partner "legally required to wake up with them the next morning". Here I am paraphrasing Michelle Pfeiffer in Up Close and Personal with the man who should have been MY husband (even though I was a baby when he was, well, younger  Robert Redford.

 

While I can celebrate and/or sympathize with my married sisters here, I don't really know what it's like to be going through all this with a partner. I mean, I am really single, no boyfriend in fact the last date was during tolerance withdrawal phase of bad behavior January 2011.

 

If there are other single gals around, what do you say we get together now and then to talk about issues that I'm beginning to come out of my thick dark fog like:

 

Will I ever look good again.

 

Will I ever want to exercize.

 

What will I say about this period in my life? How much do I tell?

 

I'm too sensitive to handle a guy's moods, what to do, I don't want a robot date/boyfriend!

 

What if I can't get over my fear?

 

What do I say to people when I find out they are taking benzos/z's? (this is a tough one! I already had to deal with an ex on this topic, I haven't returned his calls since discussion)

 

Many, many more issues. I never expected to grow old alone, but is this now my sealed fate?

 

I'd love to share with you.

 

M.

 

[Guest [Da...]]

Awwww M...can I join anyway?

 

Danni

[[jr...]]

I'm single, so I can join.

 

Danni-No fair!  I guess we can pretend you'r single.  I'm working on an email to you.  I just want to tell you you NEVER bring me down!  I love you!

[[jr...]]

Hi M,

 

I never expected to be single either.  My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 7 years ago.  I have gone through withdrawal absolutely alone.  It's a horrible experience.  I have two friends, one who lives across the country and one in another city in my state, who support me through emailing and phone calls.  Of course they really don't understand what I am going through.  There is no way I could even think about getting into a relationship at this point, but maybe in a couple of years.

 

Hugs,

 

Jenn

[Guest [Da...]]

Jenn says it okay because I'll pretend. You never know, if I become single, at least I will have some knowledge on what to do. It's good to prepare for the future isn't it. Since the future is unpredictable like our w/d s/x. Okay, I'll never ever bring you down (wink wink). Where is the wink one

 

How about it M can I join?

[[mp...]]

Well, Danni, I really look up to you, so I'm going to ask you to answer this for me, pretend I came to you for advice on this topic.

[[jr...]]

If you ever become single, Danni, I'm going to drag your butt down to Arizona, and we can go mountain climbing (or something).

[Guest [Da...]]

Can we first look at the mountains and then you take me to a great Mexican restaurant?

[[jr...]]

Yes, we can sit in the restaurant drinking margaritas, and look at the mountains.

[[mp...]]

Oh Jenn, I am so sorry to hear of what qualifies you to be in the club.  :'(

 

It must have made going through this doubly hard for you honey, I can't imagine, and yours is a club none of us ever, ever wanted to be in. sorry.

 

Having once had the closeness of your hubby, do you think you will "know better" about men in the future than someone who's never been married?  You bring a unique, albeit for sad reasons, perspective to the mini-forum.

 

M. 

[[mp...]]

Danni, have you made your decision? I will definitely abide by what you say.

 

M. 

[[jr...]]

Hi M,

 

I think I will be very naive when it comes to men, unfortunately.  I met my husband when I was 13, started dating when I was 16, and married while we were both still in college.  I had dated a few guys before my husband, but never anything that was serious.  I think I will also be very picky because I was spoiled in my marriage.  I never knew how good I had it.

 

But I am here and this is life, and I know he would want me to move on.  Maybe some day!

 

Hugs,

 

Jenn

[Guest [Da...]]

Aww Jenn...you are the best. Do they use string beef in the enchiladas? We could go downhill skiing too if you like. Last time I did that was in 1996. I used to be able to do moguels (sp?). Boy wouldn't hurt our bodies.

 

Dearest M I look up to you too...so I would say SURE JOIN US!

[[je...]]

Okay I am going to party crash if just for one post.  I was single for 21 years after death of beloved husband.  I was single during most of my benzo nightmare including several rehabs done singly and without support.  Then during year three (2010) of benzo nightmare I met and married a wonderful man.  Being single was really, really hard, but being newly married has been a challenge because at first I hid the pain.  Sometimes I wish I were single just to get through the day without being asked how I feel.  On the other hand, I need the hugs and reassurance.  No one can really share our pain except each other on BB. Thanks for listening--now I will respect the rules.  I love you single ladies.  I have been single more than married. 

[[mp...]]

Danni,

 

I hereby bequeth to you as self appointed head Single Girl, you are our One and Only married lady allowed, with the status of Mascot I hereby now do bequeth unto you.

 

Rise up my dear, you are now among the single. ...............Did you instantly just become desparate? 

 

Love,

 

M.

[[mp...]]

Okay I am going to party crash if just for one post.  I was single for 21 years after death of beloved husband.  I was single during most of my benzo nightmare including several rehabs done singly and without support.  Then during year three (2010) of benzo nightmare I met and married a wonderful man.  Being single was really, really hard, but being newly married has been a challenge because at first I hid the pain.  Sometimes I wish I were single just to get through the day without being asked how I feel.  On the other hand, I need the hugs and reassurance.  No one can really share our pain except each other on BB. Thanks for listening--now I will respect the rules.  I love you single ladies.  I have been single more than married. 

Dear Jennieh, you know that I adore you. Maybe I should rethink this group. Maybe it will cause hurt feelings, I didn't think that through. I just wanted a centralized place to talk about boys. 

 

What do others think?

 

M.

[[jr...]]

That's a really sweet story, Jennie.  It's good for me to hear stories like that.  I do sometimes think I am better off alone while in w/d because I'm not sure anyone could stand to be around me at this point!

 

Danni-Yes they do have wonderful shreded beef enchiladas, as well as chilcken and pork.  One of the best Mexican restaurants is less than 2 miles from my house.  The Snowbowl, near Flagstaff, has great skiing.  It's about a 2 hour drive from my house. Unfortunately, some years they can't open because there is not enough snow, but that is quite rare. That would be so much fun!  I think I would have to take some lessons from a cute ski instructor.

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Did anyone ask for a ski instructor? http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/s/skiing/graphics-skiing-200580.gif

[[jr...]]

Did anyone ask for a ski instructor? http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/s/skiing/graphics-skiing-200580.gif

 

Is that Robert Redford in "Downhill Racer"

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Why yes, he gets my rss feed on his Sundance app, and naturally, as soon as he saw my little club here, he sent me the clip.

 

I am the luckiest girl alive, am I not?

 

Love you girls,

 

M.

[[te...]]

Wow! Just saw this! I'm single as well. This is kinda strange, but, I, too, lost my husband. In 2006. Reconnected with my college bf in 2010, then had the big xanax meltdown and have not heard from him since. :'( I wanna talk about 'boys'

 

BTW, Robert Redford is 'da bomb.' I remember he played death in a Twilight Zone episode.....he has aged very well.

 

Mayh I join? ...............T2

[[jr...]]

Why yes, he gets my rss feed on his Sundance app, and naturally, as soon as he saw my little club here, he sent me the clip.

 

I am the luckiest girl alive, am I not?

 

Love you girls,

 

M.

 

We stayed at Sundance one year but, unfortunately, Bob was not there at the time.   Maybe he'll post something here for us single ladies.

[[je...]]

No Ms. M.  Keep the space for single girls.  I was single for so many years and loved my single world where there was no coupling.  It was good air to breathe with my sisters.  I love being married, but couples kind of rule.  Horray for single women.  You rock!

[[jr...]]

Wow! Just saw this! I'm single as well. This is kinda strange, but, I, too, lost my husband. In 2006. Reconnected with my college bf in 2010, then had the big xanax meltdown and have not heard from him since. :'( I wanna talk about 'boys'

 

BTW, Robert Redford is 'da bomb.' I remember he played death in a Twilight Zone episode.....he has aged very well.

 

Mayh I join? ...............T2

 

I was widowed in 2005.  The next year I went to a reunion at my old church and school, and ran into one of my classmates. He's an M.D. now.  He told me I was his first crush.  He started calling me and sending me emails daily after that, but I thought it was all in friendship.  Then I got an email from him one day telling me his wife did not understand the relationship he had with me, so he would no longer be in touch.  I never heard from him again.  I was so hurt because I had no idea there was anything but friendship between us.  It was all very strange.  I'm really not sure if I would even know how to date now.

 

I never saw that Twilight Zone episode.  Maybe I can find it on Netflix or somewhere.  You're right, Robert Redford has aged very well.  I first saw him in "The Way We Were" several years after that movie came out.  What a hunk!!

[[da...]]

I'm going to bust down the door here....I'm not single but most of the time I feel like I might as well be!  I have been sleeping on the couch for 2 years ever since my Lexapro c/t...the twitching, flailing around...getting up and down all night long...felt sorry for the hubby.  Can't tell you how many times I nailed him in 'the twins' with a spastic foot.  Plus...need the support of the back of the sofa for my aching hips.  Yes...I feel like I'm single.

 

Okay...I won't barge in on your boy talk again.  Just had to take a peek!

 

You hang up...no, you hang up...no, you hang up...no, you hang up.

 

Donna