Ladies.... you want a good laugh!!!

[[pa...]]

Received this from a family member today.... I howled! :laugh:

 

 

 

THE BLACK BRA            (as told by a woman)

 

 

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

 

One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have

been married for 20+ years.

 

We were chatting about our relationships and decided

to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a

black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.

 

We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..

 

HERE'S HOW IT ALL WENT:

 

MY ENGAGED FRIEND:

 

The other night when my boyfriend came over,

he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos

and a mask. 

 

He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my dreams. I love you."

 

Then we made passionate love all night long. 

 

 

THE MISTRESS:

 

Me too!  The other night, I met my lover at his office and I was wearing

a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes.

 

When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble

and we had wild sex all night.

 

 

THEN I HAD TO SHARE MY STORY:

 

When my husband came home, I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over

my eyes..

 

When he came in the door and saw me he said,

 

 

(you are going to love this...scroll down)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHATS FOR DINNER,  ZORRO???

 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

[[Ch...]]

                                                                                  Supermarket Checkout

 

A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price.

 

She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize."

 

But if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks."

 

In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

 

[[su...]]

 

thanks, pattylu, that is hilarious

[[pa...]]

                                                                                  Supermarket Checkout

 

A woman went to a discount store to purchase several items. When she finally got to the checker, she learned one of her items had no price.

 

She thought she'd die of embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "Price check on lane thirteen. Tampax. Supersize."

 

But if that wasn't bad enough, the person looking for the price misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks."

 

In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

 

 

:laugh:   OMG... that is hysterical!!  Thanks, more laughs!  Think we need to call this thread "THE LAUGH LINE"... everyone needs to add their funny joke(s)....  Love it... Patty

[[Ch...]]

Your turn. 

[[Ch...]]

Okay, I have another one.

 

 

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

[[pa...]]

Okay, I have another one.

 

 

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

 

:laugh: Each one is getting better!! :laugh:   Let's keep this going... You have a joke book or something? :laugh:

[[pi...]]

;D

[[ha...]]

:laugh: : :laugh:

 

I REALLY needed these this evening! Too funny!!!

[[Re...]]

This is great. Ok now it's my turn.

 

A young college student invites his mother over to eat dinner with himself, and his new roommate. When she arrives, she can't help but notice, how beautifully stunning his new roommate is. The son tells her that they are, just roommates, they have a strictly platonic relationship and assures her that nothing is going on between them. The mother enjoys a nice dinner, and later goes home.

 

Two weeks later the girl goes to her roommate, and says that ever since your mother came over for dinner, I can't find my silver gravy ladle. The son writes his mother a letter saying..."Mom, I'm not saying that you "did" take the silver gravy ladle, and I'm not saying that you "did not" take the silver gravy ladle, but the fact remains, it has been missing since you came over for dinner".

 

The mother wrote a letter back to her son saying..."Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with your roommate, but the fact remains... if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now".

[[pa...]]

This is great. Ok now it's my turn.

 

A young college student invites his mother over to eat dinner with himself, and his new roommate. When she arrives, she can't help but notice, how beautifully stunning his new roommate is. The son tells her that they are, just roommates, they have a strictly platonic relationship and assures her that nothing is going on between them. The mother enjoys a nice dinner, and later goes home.

 

Two weeks later the girl goes to her roommate, and says that ever since your mother came over for dinner, I can't find my silver gravy ladle. The son writes his mother a letter saying..."Mom, I'm not saying that you "did" take the silver gravy ladle, and I'm not saying that you "did not" take the silver gravy ladle, but the fact remains, it has been missing since you came over for dinner".

 

The mother wrote a letter back to her son saying..."Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with your roommate, but the fact remains... if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now".

 

Whew... she caught them... that was a good one... lol  :laugh:

[[Fl...]]

:2funny:  too, too, funny, you guys! Thanks!