Time for a laugh or two

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In light of some of the heated postings that have occurred today, I think it is time for some levity. 

 

I have posted a link to the 'Chicken Thread.'

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=37751.0

[[ha...]]

Hi pj,

Been some time since I have read that thread. What can I say. I wonder what our chicken-related activities will be this year?

hanna

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Hi pj,

Been some time since I have read that thread. What can I say. I wonder what our chicken-related activities will be this year?

hanna

 

You made me laugh more than any other post that I had read.  You were so serious, and so sweet

[[ha...]]

Thanks pj.

 

It is pretty embarrassing as I actually was serious at the time. Makes me realize how serious one can feel during withdrawal and how sensitive. I am much tougher and a bit less serious now as the sxs are lifting :D and I feel much more comfortable here and know that although we are all dealing with difficult issues, we usually don't break if someone says something a bit insensitive, especially if they really mean well.

 

But I just read all the threads you were alluding to at the beginning of this. I think it is time to bring out the big guns and find out how to raise a cow; no more of this chicken *****.

 

My only experiences with cows: This comes from hiking in a country that lets you hike through cow pastures. Are they fields or pastures? I was hiking with a friend, who always like to hike ahead.  Some sort of competition, I guess, but really, I was right behind all the time, so I am not sure she won, but it made her feel better.

 

But back to the cows.  So the cows in the fields would get interested and start walking behind us, and with me at the back, they were walking RIGHT behind me. I am less familiar with cows than I am with chickens, and you KNOW how great I am with chickens. I find cows are pretty big. So I walked faster.......and so did they. Then I started sort of running, but trying to look sort of not really worried, like you do when there is a problem right behind you......and they sort of were running, too. They were really running - in a group (a herd?). Finally, I got over the stile at then end of the field and was actually nudged over by the cows.  My friend just laughed; easy for her.....she was in the next field.

 

Problem was that I had to do it all again the next day. I really hope no farmers were watching me upset their cows and to the farmers here on BB: My apologies to all of you and your cows. I meant no harm.

 

So how do you raise cows?  That is my question.

 

Hanna

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hanna,

 

Here is some basic information on getting you started raising grass-fed cows. 

 

Before learning how to raise cattle, make sure to look and select cattle breeds that thrive on grass.

 

Once you have your starter herd, always make sure to provide fresh grass and legumes for lots of nutrients.

If you think it necessary, you can supplement the cattle's food with plant proteins. Remember that cows normally need 11% protein in their diet.

 

During the late summer season, you can add starch protein since plant proteins drop during this time.

 

Cows can become ill once in a while, so when this happens, provide antibiotics that are of a low level to avoid any health problems for your cows.

When feeding your herd/s, rotate pastures in order for the cattle to constantly eat fresh grass. 

 

You can also send out chickens ( if you have any ) while the cows are grazing to help fertilize the area.  Good luck! 

 

And always remember to never kick a cow chip on a hot day!

 

 

pj

 

 

 

 

 

[[ha...]]

Wow pj. You continue to amaze!  Thank you. Cows don't seem that hard to raise after all, not half as difficult as chickens. You don't need them to lay eggs. They can't be eaten by dogs. Maybe they have fewer psychological needs than chickens do.

 

About the psych needs of cows: are there any?

[[pi...]]

As far as the psych needs of cows: They are udderly calm and collected, I would steak my life on it.  :laugh:

 

PG

[[ha...]]

 

:laugh: :laugh:

 

Too funny. Just too funny.

[[pa...]]

In light of some of the heated postings that have occurred today, I think it is time for some levity. 

 

I have posted a link to the 'Chicken Thread.'

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=37751.0

 

PJ,  how correct you are!!  OMG, I am still howling with laughter.  You and Hanna just bounced off each other.  Thanks for posting, just what is needed! Pattylu

[[ha...]]

I know. Weren't pj's comments just hysterical!! He is such a good thinker and writer.

 

It was pretty funny........and I thought he was serious until the last post when it was pretty obvious, even to someone as thick as I seemed to be, that he was having such a good time.

 

We never did find out how to raise chickens and you will notice that no one has offered how to do that!  Here's to KFC and Swiss Chalet.

[[...]]

Wow pj. You continue to amaze!  Thank you. Cows don't seem that hard to raise after all, not half as difficult as chickens. You don't need them to lay eggs. They can't be eaten by dogs. Maybe they have fewer psychological needs than chickens do.

 

About the psych needs of cows: are there any?

 

Hi hanna,

 

When I was going to high school I lived with a family who owned a ranch.  I received a real good education regarding cows, and horses.  To this day, horses top the list of my favorite animals.

 

One thing about raising cows, as opposed to raising chickens, is the cows aren't inclined to cross the road as much

 

have a nice evening, hanna

 

pj

 

 

 

 

 

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As far as the psych needs of cows: They are udderly calm and collected, I would steak my life on it.  :laugh:

 

PG

 

Pianogirl,

 

You are a master of the word play....brilliant

[[...]]

In light of some of the heated postings that have occurred today, I think it is time for some levity. 

 

I have posted a link to the 'Chicken Thread.'

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=37751.0

 

PJ,  how correct you are!!  OMG, I am still howling with laughter.  You and Hanna just bounced off each other.  Thanks for posting, just what is needed! Pattylu

 

Hi pattylu,

 

I felt sorry for sweet hanna that day.  She was so serious, and apologetic.  I was deep in withdrawals at the time, and that thread made me laugh, and feel almost human for awhile.

 

Take good care of yourself

 

pj

 

 

[[...]]

I know. Weren't pj's comments just hysterical!! He is such a good thinker and writer.

 

It was pretty funny........and I thought he was serious until the last post when it was pretty obvious, even to someone as thick as I seemed to be, that he was having such a good time.

 

We never did find out how to raise chickens and you will notice that no one has offered how to do that!  Here's to KFC and Swiss Chalet.

 

Thank you hanna,

 

You are a very special lady, and thanks again for making me an honorary citizen of Canada, eh!

[[ha...]]

You are pretty special, too! And an honourary Canadian for sure, eh? Next winter, you can put on your touque, don your mukluks and snow shoes and head out across the Great White North!

 

So you were deep in withdrawal. Glad it made you laugh. So good to know that. 

 

So.....you were on a ranch. Sounds great, however I did notice that you said you liked horses. What about cows? They may not cross the street, but they seem to be able to run. So come clean about the cows; are they as Pianogirl described them: udderly fine?  eh?

[[...]]

You are pretty special, too! And an honourary Canadian for sure, eh? Next winter, you can put on your touque, don your mukluks and snow shoes and head out across the Great White North!

 

So you were deep in withdrawal. Glad it made you laugh. So good to know that. 

 

So.....you were on a ranch. Sounds great, however I did notice that you said you liked horses. What about cows? They may not cross the street, but they seem to be able to run. So come clean about the cows; are they as Pianogirl described them: udderly fine?  eh?

 

OK, I will fess up.  Cows are indeed, udderly fine, But, they have to 'mooove' over when the horses prance by.

[[ha...]]

[[...]]

hanna,

 

 

There's something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.  ~Bill Vaughan

 

:laugh:

[[ha...]]

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Q:  Where do cows go on dates?

  A:  The moo-vies!

 

[[ha...]]

:D

 

Mooo-ve over chicken jokes! Cow jokes are the new chicken jokes.

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hanna,

 

Good morning

 

There was a girl in one of my high school classes who's last name was Cattle.  Just about everyday I would hear someone say to her, "moo-ve along" or "moo-ve out of my seat", and like Skyy mentioned the moo-vies.

 

Then there was; "welcome to the herd", "were you born in a barn", etc., etc.  She was real good-natured about the teasing, and went on to be the class president. 

[[Fl...]]

lol, PJ, she should have become a rancher! Then she could put up a big sign over her gate that said "Cattle Ranch". 

 

We had a family of Piggs in our neighborhood. They were typically late for church. My Dad was SO annoyed at me and my sister (and a little at my Mom) for laughing out loud when the preacher announced from the pulpit, "we are just waiting on the Piggs".  everything is way funnier in church. 

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Ya, Flip....the "Cattle Ranch"  sign could also have painted on it the quote by Ogden Nash:

 

"The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk" 

 

Holy cow! Flip, these cow tales can go on Until The Cows Come home!

 

The Pigg family, did they grunt a lot?   Have a great day Flipper

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Since this thread is titled; "time for a laugh or two" I figured why not post a few lines from a story that I was trying to write when I had delusions of grandeur, and thought that I could actually be another John Steinbeck.

 

"OK, John; you laughed enough already, go and frolic with the other Angels". 

 

It is definitely good for a laugh or two. As you can see, and as I can plainly see, I best leave the storytelling to the likes of the dearly departed Steinbeck,and Capote.

 

 

What's your name?," I heard her ask me.

 

 

When I turned away from the section of fence that I was working on, and looked in the direction of where that sweet sounding voice was coming from, I was stunned by the presence of a beautiful girl sitting astride a magnificent, caramel colored Quarter Horse.

 

Long, flowing hair, the color of golden honey, mixed with burnt sienna,  framed a face so beautiful that it belonged on the cover of the next issue of 'Cowgirl' magazine.

 

"I asked you what your name is, Cowboy." "You do have a name, don't you?", she asked teasingly, her robin egg blue eyes sparkling and dancing in a way that almost hypnotized me.

 

"It's Billy,  what's your name?" I asked her without hesitating.  "So you can talk", she remarked.

 

"You're kinda' tall, aren't you?" "Tall enough," I answerd back, as she extended her hand to shake mine. "I'm Victoria, happy to meet you Billy.  You can call me Vicky."

 

"Pretty little mare you got there, Vicky."

 

"Thank you,  Billy.  Her name is Angelia". 

 

Pausing for a moment before squeezing my arm, she asked if I was going to the rodeo on Saturday.

 

Before I could answer her, she gave gave Angelia a gentle nudge, and galloped off towards the surrounding hills.

 

"She's really a heart pounder!," I thought to myself, as I stretched the barbed wire, and nailed it to the new post I had stuck in the ground.