Anyone have a crappy bf or alone in wd?

[[sm...]]

thx Libby, where is your blog?

[[Li...]]

This will take you to the page I was talking about:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=36917.340

 

 

Libby

[[su...]]

Sarah,

 

Thanks girl, love you too.  Thinking of you today.  Wanted to post an empowering song for you but just couldn't think of one.  Anyone else? 

 

So true about love/people being addicting!  Messing up our brains and causing w/d just like drugs... 

 

Keep fighting!  You will be fine.   

[[sm...]]

Thx Sunny:) One day at a time like everything else:)

[[...]]

I WILL survive:

 

http://youtu.be/z0GpEH1rBRs

[[sm...]]

So Bored!!! We need to have a girls night with some good movies and some good treats:)  I was supposed to go out with my sister tonight, but the thought of going out with her and her boyfriend, and the another couple made me want to puke..not what I need right now!  Plus its a good hour drive to go see some amateur comedy..no thanks!  So what to do tonight?  Where can we go??

[[sa...]]

[nobbc]http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/15/you-deplete-me-10-steps-to-end-a-toxic-relationship[/nobbc]

 

 

You got this 

 

Found this. I'm battling some relationship crap too. Busy with offspring but having cyber cocktail in honor of you dolls!!!

 

Muah

Ms. dipity

 

 

Edit: commercial link removed

 

[[su...]]

Ms. Dipity -    Awesome. 

 

Sarah - blah night.  Watched The Jane Austen Book Club.  Blah.  Ate some yogurt.  Blah.  Took a shower.  Yay!  Going to bed.  Blah.  How was your night?

 

Thinking of you wishing we had had girls night...some dark chocolate, wine, pizza/wings, popcorn...  Oh wait that is my benzo belly talking!   

[[sm...]]

Sarah- I got so caught up in reading from that link I forgot to respond to you!!!!! Thank you for that link, very enlightening about how our little brains physically get addicted to the ups and downs of the relationship, I agree %200 percent with that.  That was some good advice, glad to say I have not talked to Brady in a week, I am more angry than anything, but he is the one missing out, not me. Thanks for the support

 

Sunny- I forgot to respond to you too!!!!My benzo belly is craving chocolate ice cream right now and i just might go get some, im hungry!!!!

 

 

 

Ok- so sometimes I like to go on the wd and recovery section to give some hope or advice, but sometimes I come across something that just shakes me and makes me upset.  I am prepared for that when I go in there, but then I need some reassurance after reading it..so I read about someone who has been off klonopin for over two years and is still struggling, and said, "People always say once you take klonopin, you are on it for life, and now I believe them."  This is not something I want to hear when klonopin was my drug of choice, and right now getting hit with a wave.  That is not true right? haha, here I am going from I am feeling hopeful to, I am not so sure now:(  I pray that at two years off this stuff, I will not be struggling with any symptoms from the wd.  Just needing my girls right now:) Love you guys!!!

[[sa...]]

Hey girl,

No worries, you don't have to respond to everything, you def won't have a life! But you are welcome and it really spoke to me too. Proud of you for not calling. I'm bad about that...so my holding out is hard too. I'm day 4 in to no contact. lol.

 

Ok, so I think I might have told you about that hypnosis website? Well, I got the get over a relationship mp3 and it was dreadful. Way too long pauses...I would stop thinking about what I ws suppose to think about (now that I type this to you, lol, it's probably because I can't concentrate on shit right now lol) but whatever the reason, so when he would start talking again, I would get startled. lol. But then at the end instead of letting it be relaxing he does a sales pitch. wth? I paid for this!!! However, on the upside, he did have some advice that has been sage and I wanted to share that with you.

 

He said that the trouble with getting over relationships is that we sometimes think we will never love anyone the same way or as much or intense as we love this person, or that we won't have as much fun with someone else as we did with this person, which just isn't true, we can have many different experiences and if youve had a couple relationships you know this is true you can love again, and we will ...in time.

 

He went on to say that all of those good feelings came from inside of us, and all of that capacity to love and feel good again is still in us. (insightful, right?)

 

Finally, he said that we might think this is our soulmate and that we were meant to be...which is fun in princessland, but the truth is there are so many people on this planet that truthfully many could fill our needs and desires. We just need to take time to recover and seek out the next part of our lives.

 

I find his advice worth the $12 even if his mp3 was crap.

 

In conclusion about the last part of your post, many people have gotten off Klonepen and gone on to lead good lives. Seek out the successful tapers and read that. This may sound bossy, but I've got my bossy pants on (ok, I have ex basketball shorts on, really?  ) Please don't use the failures as your guide. Find the people that are having smooth tapers, good attitudes and follow that. Even if it does take some years after, I expect it to for me, but there really is no other choice...at least we started and we are headed toward being benzo free. Seek the positive Darling Sarah~

 

Oh and party here Friday night~ I'm making brownies...and then I'm making brownies...Love you guys!

 

Ms. Dippity~

[[sm...]]

Sarah- thank you love:) Yea, I mean there is no other choice at this point, going back is not an option, haha I could use that for both benzo and brady haha.  I am so with you though, I have to admit to the crew here that I did call Brady....He did not answer of course, I think his exact words were, "Fine, I will take this into my own hands and never answer your calls again."  I think I wanted to test him and see if he would talk to me, well I guess he meant it, and now I am left looking stupid haha, I did not follow through with what I said I was going to do, makes me mad at myself.  Anyways, its been a few days since that so whatever I am over it and not calling again:)

 

Hahaha, what a butthole, does a sales pitch at the end!!!!Well at least you got some good advice out of it:) I have heard that before...I read a book called, "Don't Call That Man!" Actually a really good book, you should look into it.  I agree I think we think its the end all be all when its over with someone we love, but there are more people in the world we can love:)

 

Thanks for benzo advice, I need to stay away from the real negative ones, who knows it could take years, but I guess i have a lot of those ahead of me, at least I hope I do!  I have been working out again, and tomorrow I am going out!!!! I am going to a karoake bar with my friend and singing my heart out:)  First time I will be getting out in a long time!  Then I am going to a concert Sat, we will see how that goes:) Wish me luck!  I will be stopping in here tomorrow to see what everyone is doing tomorrow night, and stealing a brownie for the road:)

 

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Sarah

[[su...]]

Hey girl,

No worries, you don't have to respond to everything, you def won't have a life! But you are welcome and it really spoke to me too. Proud of you for not calling. I'm bad about that...so my holding out is hard too. I'm day 4 in to no contact. lol.

 

Ok, so I think I might have told you about that hypnosis website? Well, I got the get over a relationship mp3 and it was dreadful. Way too long pauses...I would stop thinking about what I ws suppose to think about (now that I type this to you, lol, it's probably because I can't concentrate on shit right now lol) but whatever the reason, so when he would start talking again, I would get startled. lol. But then at the end instead of letting it be relaxing he does a sales pitch. wth? I paid for this!!! However, on the upside, he did have some advice that has been sage and I wanted to share that with you.

 

He said that the trouble with getting over relationships is that we sometimes think we will never love anyone the same way or as much or intense as we love this person, or that we won't have as much fun with someone else as we did with this person, which just isn't true, we can have many different experiences and if youve had a couple relationships you know this is true you can love again, and we will ...in time.

 

He went on to say that all of those good feelings came from inside of us, and all of that capacity to love and feel good again is still in us. (insightful, right?)

 

Finally, he said that we might think this is our soulmate and that we were meant to be...which is fun in princessland, but the truth is there are so many people on this planet that truthfully many could fill our needs and desires. We just need to take time to recover and seek out the next part of our lives.

 

I find his advice worth the $12 even if his mp3 was crap.

 

In conclusion about the last part of your post, many people have gotten off Klonepen and gone on to lead good lives. Seek out the successful tapers and read that. This may sound bossy, but I've got my bossy pants on (ok, I have ex basketball shorts on, really?  ) Please don't use the failures as your guide. Find the people that are having smooth tapers, good attitudes and follow that. Even if it does take some years after, I expect it to for me, but there really is no other choice...at least we started and we are headed toward being benzo free. Seek the positive Darling Sarah~

 

Oh and party here Friday night~ I'm making brownies...and then I'm making brownies...Love you guys!

 

Ms. Dippity~

 

That is great advice, thanks for sharing that!! 

 

I want ice cream and brownies now. 

[[sm...]]

Ok girls its Friday here is a good song to kick off the evening:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzlOIXPR5AM

 

ok thats out of the way....due to my little incident taking a SMALL dose of iron, put me in a horrible wave, and I threw up everything I ate...so looks like my big singing night is off. damn wd, this just sucks....

 

So I am watching Khloe and Lamar, and hope that a good movie comes on. thinking about going to the store and getting some gluten free brownie mix and making some gosh darn brownies:)

[[Li...]]

Wow, Sarah N Dippity, somehow I missed that article. It was probably better that I read it now, because I just went into a room by myself with tears streaming down my face reading it. All of it is so true! The feeling depleted, the making up for my life being "easier" than theirs, the getting something out of it and that's why I stayed in it so long, the feeling sorry for the other person, healing the shame, the likelihood of getting out of one toxic relationship and getting right back into another if you're not really careful, not learning the lesson the first 35 times, etc etc. Thank you, thank you for posting that. I really needed it today.

 

Today is day 5 of my juice fast, and I fell off the wagon.    I'm not too upset about it- I felt much worse after pigging out on candy and junk than I did while I was detoxing, with headaches and fatigue. I'm just going to start out again tomorrow, with more food for the day and stronger self-control. Today was actually the first day I had any cravings at all! Days 1-4 were so much easier than anticipated. Anyway, though, I have been more emotional than usual and that's part of the detox. Going to be a lot coming to the surface over the next while, I am sure. I really can't believe it but my pain has been less on this juice fast. I mean, it makes no sense to me...but nevertheless. I'm excited to see what happens longer term.

 

Found out today that my ex has been trying to get in contact with my family. We were together for four years and he really loved my family...but really, he should have thought of that before he called me all the horrible names he did and said what he said. It has kind of thrown me for a loop though to learn that. Of course my family isn't responding to him, which is what I would want anyway...we need a clean split...but then, I'm left feeling sad for him. His family is not nearly as cool and fun and supportive as mine, and I know he'll miss that. But WHY do *I* feel bad about that?! We split up due to his choices, his issues- it really has very little to do with me, in the end. I guess it just reinforces to me that there's been a loss for him too, which is hard as I really did love him (but not IN love with him, as I realized after the fact). And also, it makes me mad! Why does he expect my family to still be there after the way we split? I'm not 100% proud of how I acted during the split, but I immediately apologized for things I said that were out of line. And, everything I said was true- as hard as it was for him to hear, it was true. He threw some doozies, none of which were true, and has never apologized. I guess it just seems crazy in my book that he would expect anything from anyone who knows anything at all about how we split- and my family definitely got an earful.

 

Anyway, I am rambling! Thanks for listening, needed to get some of this off my chest tonight. Hope you are all doing well.

 

Libby

 

P.S. Sarah, oh no, just saw your post! So sorry about the iron!

[[sm...]]

Libby- Glad to hear you had some big realizations from Sarah's post, its great to have our eyes opened:)  I learned a lot about my patterns a year ago, and it still takes work to do the right thing and not listen to that part of us that just wants to be loved.  I am working on meeting Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now.

 

Good for you for doing your juice fast, that would not be easy to do right now in wd!  So sorry to hear about your ex, sounds like your family backs you up though right?  At least they won't buy into his stuff ya?

 

No worries about the iron thing, I am just a dumb head, shouldn't have messed with my mojo:)  I will get over it:)

 

Sarah

[[sa...]]

http://i1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh486/sarahndipity123/mojitos.jpg

 

cocktail?...has some green stuff in it, Libby....lets juice! lol.

 

Libby, I'm sorry for your sadness, but glad that that post was still there, the link was removed but they left the post so you could still go there. Thank goodness!

 

Yes, that article spoke to me, too. Here's to you girlfriend for being steadfast!

 

Anyone buy anything cute this week?

 

 

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h179/Jassy48/Il%20DIVO/nightclub.jpg

[[sm...]]

yay for mojitos!!!!!and night clubs:)

[[sa...]]

check out this awesome thread!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=52993.msg710548#msg710548

[[sa...]]

Perhaps I've been under the provervial rock, but I just heard this song today and I love it.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti3t7MAwaaM    Adele ~ Rumor has it

 

Especially the end.....

 

gotta love VIP, Sarah~ You doin' ok?

 

then there is this little ditty. Libby, this might be more what you are looking for...a little "revengy" but I love this song, just saw the vid for it first time today...I love Lilly Allen as well. This song has been on my ipod forever...enjoy, girls ~

 

  Lilly Allen ~ Smile

[[sa...]]

Hey Sarah,

 

Since you missed kareoke tonight, what would be your kareoke song?

 

SD~

[[...]]

What are you girls drinking tonight?

 

  Jeeze I have OD'd on reality TV today and tonight and I am SICK of it!!!

 

I feel like I am in a witness protection program.  Stuck in the house and nothing but reality TV to relate to!  I haven't even committed a crime! LMAO!........  OMG ! Mob wives is the only thing recorded on my DVR!!!   

 

I am GOING [move]CRAZY!!!!!!!!!![/move]

[[...]]

I am going out and find a Dairy Queen, I wonder if they still make peanut buster parfaits?

[[sm...]]

Sarah- Its been a bad day for sure, and tonight is no better.  Mind confusion kicked in again today and then taking the iron made it worse, that one scares me more than any other symptom, well brain fog, the two go hand in hand.  I felt like I was finally overcoming that, and then SLAMMED.  I am hanging in though might just crap out early tonight try again tomorrow. Or go buy some ice cream to ease the pain:)  Had I gone to karaoke I would have sung my song I am known for:)

 

Then I was supposed to go to a concert tomorrow and thats not happening now, people are just too broke haha, Man I had a bad feeling about today poop scoop. You guys can call me s face as to not confuse the two sarah's:)

 

Skyy- I think they do still make those, go get yourself some ice cream girl!!!

 

 

S Face

[[sa...]]

Hey Skyy,

lol witness protection program...i feel you on that one, been inside all day, online

So after youve indulged in DQ (yes, I'm sure they have peanut buster parfaits which are awesome) bring your cute shoes and barely dress and meet us here, It's Paris, tonight~Que voulez-vous boire ?

 

http://i1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh486/sarahndipity123/Paris_nightclub2.jpg

[[...]]

DQ closed at 10pm in this town!  Je Voudrais Champagne!  Sounds like the girl upstairs is bang**g someone right now, and it is making me nuts!!!  SHUT UP!

 

Wait I think I have some vodka and some frosting in a can!  OHHH LALA let the night begin!