why did you start of benzos to begin with?

[[...]]

I thot it would be interesting to see why people started on benzos and how long they were on them.

 

I started due to a panic attack after a diagnosis of a brain tumor....I have since had the tumor removed and it is benign with 100% recovery with surgery    Thot all the anxiety would disappear after the surgery.  Not so, now I believe it is the benzo.

 

I have been off and on ativan since April 26, 2008.  Basically taken as needed.  Which has increased over the months....surprise, surprise

 

After a month or so of being on it and one week before surgery, I started to have insomnia which has not gone away as yet.  It has improved, but still a problem. 

 

Love to hear how others began their "nightmare"

[Guest [Pe...]]

Well, to understand the "why", I have to jump back a few years... 21 to be exact.

 

At age 14, I was given antidepressants to help ward off "panic disorder" and "agoraphobia". Instead of trying therapy, the doc I went to suggested I would need medication. So I took my meds (pamelor (Nortriptylene (a tricyclic))) for many years until junior year of college. At that point, I suddenly developed a severe "panic disorder" that was accompanied by new symptoms - mainly continuous vomiting. After a year of pointless physicals and tests, they discovered that the meds I were taking were no longer working. So they switched me to Doxepin, another tricyclic and I was good for several more years.

 

Fast forward to about 9 years ago. I switched meds again to Serzone, but was quickly taken off of the drug due to an FDA problem with the drug. I was put on Remeron and it worked again. However, I developed restless legs from the use of the drug, so instead of taking me off the Remeron, my doc instead gave me...

 

Are you ready for this??

 

Can you guess?

 

KLONOPIN!!

 

So I started down the road of no return due to a side effect from a different drug. However, the Klonopin worked better than the Remeron for anxiety, so I stayed on the two until June of this year.

 

Now, I suffer with the "panic disorder". However, it's not really a disorder. It's simply a negative behaviour that I'm learning to reprogram. It's hard because sometimes I can't tell where my anxiety/panic starts and the withdrawal ends, so learning is hard, but I'm taking it as it comes.

 

So there you have it.

 

 

[[Ke...]]

I started taking Xanax for fear of flying about 10 years ago.  It worked great when taken as needed.  Having access to the Xanax I would also take when stressed or in need of sleep- still infrequent and on an as needed basis.  Important note / admission here, my doc never prescribed it to be used on a regular basis.  Fast forward to 2006 and I was diagnosed with a medical condition that caused me a GREAT deal of angst and anxiety.  Nothing life threatening, but life changing and traumatic just the same.  Started poppin the X on a regular basis, and next thing I know I'm caught in the benzo black hole.  In June of this year I realized I was in a vicious catch 22 and decided enough was enough.  By the grace of something (I'm not religious, just spiritual) I found this place and started my taper the next day.  And here I am.

[[...]]

I know this is an old topic but would find it interesting to learn about others- for me it was due to difficult circumstances from about 4 years ago- A (ex) partner with severe emotional problems who I was caring for, a full time job caring for people, working several nights a week and setting up a business- too much stuff I suppose! Was put on A/D's (fluoxetine) as was feeling burned-out and a bit depressed but started to abuse strong codeine-based pain killers and valium. Then everything went splat!, now single, not working, staying with mom and tapering

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

I was put on klonopin about 20 years ago when I developed a bad case of RLS (restless leg syndrome, before it had an acronym).  The RLS was caused by the Prozac(fluoxetine) I was put on for depression.  When the Prozac stopped working and I changed A/Ds, my pdoc never even suggested I might want to get off the klonopin.  He did switch me to ativan(lorazepam) but I can't remember why.  Things went downhill from there until I was no longer able to work.

[[...]]

Cripes!, you did so well to rid yourself of pills, Beeper!, that sounds like such a long haul! Fluoxetine was the first thing I was put on too (maybe 3 or so years back), will be glad to see the back of that stuff too!

[[bo...]]

after surgery on my right eye i developed pain in it.Xanax helped me cope with the pain at least for awhile-that was 20 years ago and now here I am-Box

[[Sh...]]

Why did i start benzos?  I didn't even know what they were!  I suffered a traumatic event as a teenager an apparently my panic attacks stemmed from this.  Personally - i believe that i experienced my first panic attacks in my early twenties when i quit smoking for the first time.  I had no idea what a panic attack was either.  There began my relationship with benzos ....

 

Shine

[[...]]

Hmmm, I just stopped by this and thought I should modify it a bit. Doesn't seem to ring true now...

 

 

I know this is an old topic but would find it interesting to learn about others- for me it was due to difficult circumstances from about 4 years ago- A (ex) partner with severe emotion problems who I was caring for, a full time job caring for people, working several nights a week in and setting up a business- too much stuff I suppose! Was put on A/D's (fluoxetine) as was feeling burned-out and a bit depressed but started to abuse strong codeine-based pain killers and valium. Then everything went splat!, now single, not working, staying with mom and tapering

...actually the reason was purely because of ME! I don't want to imply that caring for someone with problems will bring the problems that i've had because that's nonsense. Having a partner with such problems is no joke but that person is in NO WAY responsible or the reason for my current state.

 

I worked myself stupid, I took the the medication I knew nothing about (apart from it's initial 'jolly' effects) and now I'm getting myself off them.

 

Just thought that was important,

 

Mr B

 

 

 

 

[[la...]]

I say in my blog my Xanax dates back to 97, but since then I've pondered the question myself.    Regular use was earlier than that because of teen problems with my daughter, so it must have been 94 or 95!

 

I actually started using them recreationally in my mid 20's!  What was a benzo?     

 

 

 

(you do realize you're asking people with no concentration on benzos to remember things right?)   

[[Ju...]]

I ask myself this same question every day.

 

I developed SA disorder in highschool. At the time I thought it was pretty intense, never stopping to realize what qualifies as pretty intense when your 16.

 

At about 20 years old my stepfather (who thinks Xananx is a gift from God) recommended me to his doctor who put me on klonopin.

 

Trouble was that this doctor would up the dosage whenever I asked him with no more than a phone call. Im now 25 and it's been 4mg pr day, everyday.

 

Luckily my new doctor is a compassionate guy. His face lit up like a lightbulb when I told him that I wanted to taper down.

 

Down to 2.75 mg pr day....and taking the leap to 2.5 tommorow.

[[Pa...]]

No interesting story for me, a friend gave me a little green pill called Klonopin in 2002.  It felt good, but I knew better since I've been a recovering alcoholic for many years.  I ignored the little voice warning me and proceeded to drug myself stupid in increasing amounts for the next 5 years.  That's it, it was all me.  I tasted, I sought it out from the doctor and I've paid the price!  What an idiot!

[[Ju...]]

Pamster,

 

You are NOT an idiot. In 2003 a doctor gave me a pill called Klonopin, I didnt know any better than you did. If we both werent ignorant to what that pill could do, would we have taken it? Probably not. We just didn't know.

 

I'd wonder about you if you didn't like the way Klonopin made you feel. Benzo's at one time or another made all of us feel better, or releaved some sort of suffereing.

 

Hey man the fact that you got off, says more positive things about you than I can even write. You overcame the great struggle that myself and a lot of us are trying to overcome...and in my book that makes you a hero, not an idiot.

 

You got guts my friend

-Mike 

[[la...]]

No interesting story for me, a friend gave me a little green pill called Klonopin in 2002.  It felt good, but I knew better since I've been a recovering alcoholic for many years.  I ignored the little voice warning me and proceeded to drug myself stupid in increasing amounts for the next 5 years.  That's it, it was all me.  I tasted, I sought it out from the doctor and I've paid the price!  What an idiot!

 

Yea Pam... what he said!! 

 

Truely, anyone who's beat benzos and stayed off is a very strong person whether they realize it or not.  How do you think "I" got my Xanax prescription the first time?  I knew what to ask for.  I knew what symptoms needed to be recited, hell I'd been doing them recreationally for years!

 

Your story is no less interesting than anyone else's and most of us got here the same boring way!  Something was wrong, went to the dr, dr gave rx, benzo vacation to follow.  If someone would have told me 5 years ago all about what Xanax does, and how I'd have to go through this, my reply would have been "ok, so I'll cross that bridge when I get there if it's going to happen anyway.  In the meantime, pass my purse please."  I enjoy the fact that within 15 minutes I'm a different person.  I am here because I have no choice.  Continuing benzos isn't an option anymore if I want to feel like a human.  It's really sad to get to that point, but some of us don't catch on real quick!

 

One day though, you get to that point where you aren't the same person anymore.  In December I was a horrible person that I didn't even recognize.  I'm now so ashamed of who I was.  I was a pretty wild child.  I'm really lucky benzos have been my worst problem!  Sometimes you just have to hit bottom before you wake up!

 

Never underestimate your situation.  If taking benzos made you an idiot, you are definitely in good company! 

 

 

[[...]]

  If taking benzos made you an idiot, you are definitely in good company!  

 

Oh yea, agree with this one for sure!!!  This is one of the best group of people I have ever been associated with! 

[[al...]]

I was having multiple panic attacks during the day and in my sleep (they started soon after a traumatic event) -- did not even know what they were, and then eventually constant anxiety day & night. But I was pretty tenacious back then and kept on, grabbed a dream job, panic attacks got worse and was having them at work -- they were so intense, people around me would freak out and start avoiding me. I'd flush, sweat, my eyes would weird-out, shake, be unable to speak ... dreadful.

 

Finally, boss put me on warning -- I had 3 months to clean up my act and avoid getting fired. So I went to a pdoc, they gave me a script along with this gem of wisdom: xanax will cure your brain of panic attacks so it can function properly within 6 months.

 

Kept the job -- in fact became hugely successful at it, and kept upping the xanax, that was years ago.

 

Today, here I am, agoraphobic, anxious, shaking, depressed, jobless and taking 3.8 mgs of xanax/day. Whatta cure, huh? Only thing right now is that I haven't had an outright panic attack ... and if I do, so what. Better than this hell!

 

 

 

[[...]]

I had a stupid anxiety, they prescribed me Xanax, I took one tablet and then wanted to take it sporadically ....but my beloved husband told to me,,,take your f$$$king medicine you Stupid!

[[Ma...]]

It's truly interesting to see how many different reasons people began to use Benzos, while at the same time is somewhat depressing to see how many people have been negatively harmed by it. It does vary from person to person but at least in my experience it's probably done more bad than good.

 

Anyways back to the topic.. I started taking Xanax because in 2011 at the age of 19 I lost my mother and father at the same time in a tragic car accident. I considered myself to be a very strong person and thought I could handle anything - I must have jinxed myself because losing both of my parents completely destroyed me, who I was, and who I wanted/was going to be. I couldn't rise above it on my own strength and will power, I nearly gave up completely. My doctor told me Xanax would help me recover from this and to an extent it has, but I feel it's just created a whole new monster for me to try to cope with. Right now I am losing terribly, but will keep trying to win until I've exhausted all options.

 

M

[[Fl...]]

I HAD A 2 YR OLD AND WAS PREGNANT WITH MY 2ND DAUGHTER, AND MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED IN A WORK RELATED ACCIDENT.

I DEVELOPED A FEAR BASED ANXIETY/PANIC DISORDER 7 YRS AFTER HIS DEATH. I BECAME EXTREMLY FEARFUL THAT SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN TO ME LEAVING MY DAUGHTERS WITH OUT EITHER PARENT.

 

I HAVE BEEN ON A BENZO FOR 13YRS AND IT STARTED TURNING ON ME IN 2009, AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

 

FB

 

[[Ki...]]

I was prescribed Ativan (as needed) for panic attacks while tapering an SSRI too quickly (doctors taper).....never should have been on the SSRI in the first place but that's another story. I took Ativan 1-2x a week for 6 months, then started getting strange symptoms (numb legs, muscle spasms, gastritis) so took more Ativan because the new symptoms made me anxious. Then had a traumatic leg injury and was in the hospital for 12 days where they gave me 2mg Ativan per day for muscle spasticity. Left the hospital and two days later was in acute C/T withdrawal. Had no idea what was happening. Went to my GP and he gave me Ativan as he said my "panic disorder" was back  As soon as I took the Ativan again, I was fine.....that's when I realized how dangerous the drug was and started my research.

[[lo...]]

Gosh, this is a very old thread!!

 

Myoclonic epilepsy, 40 years

 

Nitrazepam

 

40 years of depression

 

No longer have epilepsy or depression

 

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

[[Mo...]]

INSOMNIA due to irregular night duties at the airport .

worked like magic for years until it turned on me, the Bastard.