Laughter is the best medicine

[[pe...]]

I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the Arctic.My doctor says I may have Buy Polar disorder

[[pe...]]

went to the shop to buy a maternity bra.........the assistant ask's "what bust?" i reply's " the condom " .......

[[pe...]]

cops raided Kermits lily pad last nite and found hundreds of pictures of Miss Piggy in the nude they're saying it's the worst case of frogs porn they have found

[[pe...]]

i walked up to my boss and asked 'where do you want this bubble wrap' he said 'just pop it in the corner'  -  took me eight hours ,,,,,,,

[[pe...]]

Sometimes when I can't sleep I try counting sheep, but my ADHD is a bloody nightmare.

 

One sheep, two sheep, dog, pig, old McDonald, Hey Macarena!

[[pe...]]

I got caught on a speed camera this morning. God knows why I climbed up there...........

[[pe...]]

I was in my garden relaxing when a passer-by called me "Scruffy council house scum".

 

I wanted to grip him, but tripped on a mattress and banged my head on a dis-used washing machine

[[pe...]]

Two nuns go on a shopping trip to France, to load up with duty free.

On the way back they are just going to drive through 'Nothing to declare' but a customs officer waves them in to the side.

The first nun says to the mother superior who is driving, "Don't worry mother, just show them your cross."

So she winds the window down, leans out and shouts, "Sod off ;o

[[pe...]]

Paddy is rowing a boat in a field of hay.

 

Another Irish man drives past and stops.

 

He looks at paddy in the boat and says.

 

"Its thick gits like you that give us Irish a bad name." "I would come over there and kick shite out of you if i could swim....!!"

[[pe...]]

I saw this advert in Loot: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “Well I just can’t turn that down.”

[[pe...]]

I arrived back from my driving test today. "So," my husband asked excitidely, "how did you get on?" "Not good," I replied."He failed me!" "Oh dear!" He said sympathetically."It can't be that bad, what did he pull you up on?"

 

"A rope," I replied...

 

"The cars still at the bottom of the river."

[[Be...]]

:2funny:  I love the Irish joke

 

Good to have you back here, Pembs...I love your humour.

[[Ca...]]

:laugh:

 

Keep them coming!

[[sa...]]

Thanks for the laughs, Pembs! We need to bottle you and keep some in our pocketbook!

 

You're awesome!

 

Sarah

[[pe...]]

Thanks for the laughs, Pembs! We need to bottle you and keep some in our pocketbook!

 

You're awesome!

 

Sarah

 

 

LOL

 

xx

[[pe...]]

Just replaced the water in my fish tank with Lilt.  Looks really tropical now

[[pe...]]

That's the tenth passenger today

who's called me a shit bus driver.

I don't know where they get off.

[[Wa...]]

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

 

[[sa...]]

Love it!! both of you! Pembs ans Wa Sappening, even your name is clever! thanks for the ha has! lol

 

xoxo

[[pe...]]

popped into the library and asked if they had any books on lubrication.

 

The librarian said, "Try the non-friction section."

[[Fl...]]

Ear Infection

 

              This is so true!

 

              They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there,

               and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and

               sometimes it is embarrassing .

 

              There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who

               insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full

              of other patients.

 

 

 

              I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way

              this old guy handled it.

 

              A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and

              approached the desk.

 

              The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the

              Doctor for today?'

 

              'There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

 

              The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't

              come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that '

 

              'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

 

              The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some

              embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have

              said there is something wrong with your ear or something and

              discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

 

              The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a

               roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.

               The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then

               re-entered.

 

              The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

 

              'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

 

              The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he

              had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear,

              Sir?'

 

              'I can't pee out of it,' he replied.

 

              The waiting room erupted in laughter...

 

 

              Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!!

[[De...]]

    Love this Flip !!     

 

In fact I love this whole thread !!

 

 

Debbie 

[[Be...]]

:laugh: thanks Flip..

[[pi...]]

Too funny flip 

[[Wa...]]

Remember:

Senior Citizens Are Valuable

 

We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:

 

We have silver in our hair.

We have gold in our teeth.

We have stones in our kidneys.

We have lead in our feet and.

We are loaded with natural gas