Laughter is the best medicine

[[pe...]]

Apparently studies have shown smoking cannabis causes short term memory loss......

 

Next they will be saying that smoking cannabis causes short term memory loss ...

[[pe...]]

I went to the Gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse I have been living with for the last 10 years.

 

The Gypsy says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.

 

I say without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

[[sa...]]

Apparently studies have shown smoking cannabis causes short term memory loss......

 

Next they will be saying that smoking cannabis causes short term memory loss ...

 

LOLOLOLOL! Whre to you come up with all this oh so fun stuff! lololololol So funny pembs!

[[pe...]]

Woman to her husband: Bye darling, I’m going to take the car and go shopping!

Few minutes later,

Woman: The engine is not starting anymore; will you come and look at it?

Husband: Have you checked the fuel?

Woman: No there's water in the carburetor

Husband: You don't know shit about mechanical so how do you assume this to be true?

Woman: Because the car is in the pool.

[[Fl...]]

LOL, Pembs!

[[pe...]]

Some people find gondoliers sexy.

 

Personally, I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole..

[[pa...]]

OMB...Pembs... how have I missed seeing your posts!  Between you and Damages 123... I am in hysterics.  Bless you both for the great humor... Will see you two on SNL one day... for sure!   Patty

[[da...]]

I saw a cartoon in a magazine the other day...it's a picture of a man leading his one night stand into the bedroom.  She says:  I hope you will respect me in the morning.

 

He says: Respect you in the morning?  I don't even respect you now!

 

Har har hardee har har

 

Donna

[[pa...]]

My nephew just sent me this joke... OMG... we are still laughing:

 

A couple had been married for 50 years.  They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."  "I know, the old man said,  "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."  "Well," granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."  Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.  "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied. "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

 

 

  [move]S  C  R  O  L  L      D  O  W  N        S  C  R  O  L  L  D  O  W  N 

[/move]                   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't be surprised, "replied Gramps.  "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[[sa...]]

My nephew just sent me this joke... OMG... we are still laughing:

 

A couple had been married for 50 years.  They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."  "I know, the old man said,  "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."  "Well," granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."  Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.  "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied. "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

 

 

  [move]S  C  R  O  L  L      D  O  W  N        S  C  R  O  L  L  D  O  W  N 

[/move]                   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't be surprised, "replied Gramps.  "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

dreadful and hilarious! lololo, pattylu, you rock! lololol

[[la...]]

My nephew just sent me this joke... OMG... we are still laughing:

 

A couple had been married for 50 years.  They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."  "I know, the old man said,  "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."  "Well," granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."  Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.  "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied. "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

 

 

  [move]S  C  R  O  L  L      D  O  W  N        S  C  R  O  L  L  D  O  W  N 

[/move]                   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't be surprised, "replied Gramps.  "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

:2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

[[pe...]]

Just got this text message, not sure if it's a prank:

"Congratulations!

You have won £250 of shopping vouchers or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act. To claim your prize, press 1 for the money, 2 for the show..."

[[Fl...]]

Too funny, Laura and Pembs 

 

 

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was

ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me."

 

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about over the top

Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

 

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out

that she was referring to my credit card.

 

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

[[sa...]]

Too funny, Laura and Pembs 

 

 

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was

ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me."

 

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about over the top

Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

 

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out

that she was referring to my credit card.

 

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

 

OMG, you got a belly laugh out of Offspring there and us.....oooowwww we love us some Flip humor!

love you<3

 

Dippity and O~

[[pe...]]

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, "have you got anything for wind?" so he gave me a kite

[[pe...]]

My friend Carlos got his car stolen. We just call him Los now

[[pe...]]

My Son keeps proclaiming he's the Son of God.

 

If he carrys on, I'll crucify him.

[[pe...]]

I went for relationship counselling this morning with the hubby. The counsellor told me I need to be more open with my husband about what I want in bed.

 

Apparently, "Someone else" isn't an acceptable answer

[[sa...]]

I went for relationship counselling this morning with the hubby. The counsellor told me I need to be more open with my husband about what I want in bed.

 

Apparently, "Someone else" isn't an acceptable answer

I hate interrupting the thread with my laughter, wish there was a "like" button. Oh Pembs, how I love thee! so flipping funny! thank you thank you thank you!

 

Sarah

[[pe...]]

I went for relationship counselling this morning with the hubby. The counsellor told me I need to be more open with my husband about what I want in bed.

 

Apparently, "Someone else" isn't an acceptable answer

I hate interrupting the thread with my laughter, wish there was a "like" button. Oh Pembs, how I love thee! so flipping funny! thank you thank you thank you!

 

Sarah

 

He he your welcome xx

[[pe...]]

I love the British summer season , it gives me a chance to use my wellies , my raincoat and my new bright pink brolly

[[pe...]]

"He's an Elmo" said grandma about my latest boyfriend. She gets so confused at 91.

 

"You mean Emo... you know - lank hair, pale skin, black clothes, goth taste in music?" I suggested.

 

"No, Elmo," she said. "He's a Muppet."

[[pe...]]

Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow....

"Ooh!" Said the presenter, "this is a very rare breed, do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks." Paddy replied.

[[Ca...]]

[[pe...]]

There was a singer on in our local pub.

 

After his first song he asked, "Any requests?"

 

I said, "Are you familiar with the Doors?"

 

 

He said, "Yes, I know a few, which one?"

 

I said, "That one with the big green exit sign over there."..