Laughter is the best medicine

[[pe...]]

I was in Liverpool yesterday and thought i'd seen a superhero running down the road in a flowing cape..........it turns out it was just some prat who hadnt paid for his haircut.....

[[pe...]]

My local radio station has asked listeners to send in pictures of when they were drunk....

 

...so i sent in my wedding album..

[[Be...]]

:2funny: :2funny:

 

 

I don't know where you store all those jokes Pembs..

 

Every day you make me laugh out loud.. You are my official benzo healer.

 

[[pe...]]

:2funny: :2funny:

 

 

I don't know where you store all those jokes Pembs..

 

Every day you make me laugh out loud.. You are my official benzo healer.

 

 

 

:laugh:

[[...]]

Disclaimer: I am of irish descent. An englishmen, a scotsman, and a irishman go into a bar and order 3 beers. As they get ready to drink them a fly lands in each beer. The englishman asks for another beer. The scotsman picks the fly out and begins to drink. The irishman picks out the fly and holds it over the glass sceaming "Spit it out you bastard!"

[[Be...]]

Paddy Was driving his lorry when he saw a bridge with a sign saying 10 foot max. headroom. He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or not , 'A shure I'll give it a go, he thought only to find that his lorry got stuck underneath it.

 

Paddy sat back in his seat, poured out a cup of tea and lit a cigarette. A policeman arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab door which Paddy then opened, 'what do you think you are doing? asked the policeman in a sharp tone, 'Sure I'm having me tea break, replied Paddy, 'And what do you work at? asked the policeman, 'Agh shure I deliver bridges,! smiled Paddy!

[[la...]]

:clap: :2funny: :laugh:

Good one Betsy  :laugh:

[[Ol...]]

Is this Paddy?

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1297056/Safe-Removals-Hapless-driver-gets-van-stuck-fast-low-railway-bridge.html

[[la...]]

Yep I think you found him  :laugh:

[[sa...]]

Window Replacement

 

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,

double-pane energy-efficient kind.  Yesterday, I got a call from the

contractor who installed them.  He was complaining that the windows

had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.

 

Hellloooo?  Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am

automatically stupid.  So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking

sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these

windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo"? (I told him).  "It's been a year"!

 

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just

hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about

forgetting the guarantee they made me.

 

[[sa...]]

THE WORLD'S SHORTEST PSYCHIATRIC JOKE

 

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made

of

Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says,

 

"Well...I can clearly see your nuts."

[[sa...]]

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"

[[la...]]

Too funny Sarah  :2funny: :2funny: :clap: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Thanks for the good laugh

 

[[Fl...]]

LOL!  Am gonna grow a pair before my next psych evaluate!  :2funny:

[[La...]]

a tourist asks an irishman why all scuba divers fall backwards into the water, the irishman says, Well , if they fell forward they would still be in their bloody boats" Ladygrace

[[Be...]]

Window Replacement

 

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,

double-pane energy-efficient kind.  Yesterday, I got a call from the

contractor who installed them.  He was complaining that the windows

had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.

 

Hellloooo?  Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am

automatically stupid.  So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking

sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these

windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo"? (I told him).  "It's been a year"!

 

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just

hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about

forgetting the guarantee they made me.

 

:laugh:

[[pe...]]

I was at a wedding reception when the dj announced"all you married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living".....the barman was crushed to death !!!

[[...]]

That's the funniest one yet, pemps :clap:

[[pe...]]

Quasimodo was running down the street chased by a group of kids.

He said

‘For the last time, I haven’t got your football.’

[[pe...]]

a

Dogs Life

A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat."

"Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie.

"I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."

[[Fl...]]

 

Good one, Pembs! LOL

[[Fl...]]

The Bathtub Test

 

 

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

 

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person and tell them to empty the

bathtub."

 

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

 

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

[[Ca...]]

If you fly with a "cheap" airline - the below is very funny.

 

[[sa...]]

Comedian Jim Gaffigan on hot pockets. OMG, so funny!

 

(Jim Gaffigen stand up, only 4 min, so funny)

 

This post was motivated by frontsiders hilarious personal "Hot Pocket Hell" story on his blog. posted with permission:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=48868.msg691442#msg691442

Post #149

 

Love this thread! Hi Flip and Pembs....Flip, lol failed test....pembs...no counselion.  :laugh:

 

 

 

[[Li...]]

I LOVE JIM GAFFIGAN.