is it possible to start a c/t thread?

[[de...]]

i don't mean to exclude anyone but at this point i find myself skipping through posts and only paying attention to folks who have c/t'd off benzos.  i just can't relate to a long taper even though symptoms seem similar for some.  i'm always searching out others who quit c/t to compare experience.   

i'm almost five months off and seem to get hit hard with symptoms just before i start a new month.  then it eases up.  i'm in a pretty tough wave right now.  i've read a lot that months five through seven were turning points for a lot of us. 

i'm hoping others will check in.  i'm curious how long you were on benzos, the dosage, how long off, and how you're feeling.

thanks 

[[Sh...]]

I would be interested too

[[pi...]]

Hi Desi,

 

We are about the same time off.  I didn't do a ct, but had an up and down history with benzos because of lack of knowledge.  My first benzo, ativan was given to me for labrynthitis and I had to stop it for a test to determine whether I had it or not. So I pretty much ct'd that and was deathly ill.  I was put on clonazepam for anxiety, now known to be caused by the ct from ativan.  I did c/o to valium and tapered from that.  I didn't do a really slow taper as some here do, but it worked ok for me.

 

I also have a surge in physical sxs right now.  Muscle pain, nerve pain, muscle spasms, twitching, dizzy boaty feeling.  Funny thing is I didn't have it nearly this bad for a long time and was bicycling as much as 17 to 20 miles a ride. I had a tremendous amount of body burning and muscle pain early off, but then it tapered off. These more intense sxs seemed to start around the beginning of October with muscles spasms in my neck and head.

 

I keep waiting for relief and the next big window.  I hope it is right around the corner and I hope you start to feel better soon.  Its so hard to not worry and fret about these increases in sxs.  I hold back from going to the doctor because I do think it is withdrawal.

 

Hang in there, reading the success stories always gives me HOPE. Thats something the benzos can't take away.

 

Hugs,

 

pianogirl  

 

[[of...]]

I detoxed off of 20 mgs of valium almost 2 years ago.  8 days , no other meds.

 

3 to 6 months was a very rough time.  It gets better after that, not perfect but much better.

 

I am healed, you will heal too.  Congrats on your progress,  good healing time under your belt.

 

Keep going,  you have this,  and it's worth it.

 

love to you zoe

[[Ho...]]

Members have started new threads in the past. You're right. We don't want to exclude anyone. If you want to start a thread about your experience with c/t, you certainly can. But please don't title it "C/T members only"..etc. If you title it "My experience with c/t" or the like, you will get many who post their own stories there.

 

I'm afraid that's the best we can do for now.

 

Btw, it looks like you just did start a c/t thread. 

[[Sh...]]

Desi,

 

What did you want to talk about?  What kind of questions do you have for a fellow c/t'er?  I am willing to listen and talk.

[Guest [Tu...]]

Hey, let me know what you want to talk about. I have c/t'd three times before and finally in early September, as I was nearing 14 years of addiction to Valium later in the month, I decided to really make an all-out effort to c/t as of September 7th. I've pretty much been in c/t mode since then (with "two days off" for brief rescue doses after Days 37 and 55 when I was about to go insane...I don't count those two days in my total). I'm on Day 64 now.

 

I jumped at 30-40 mg. of Valium. I can't say for sure if it was 30 or 40, since my dose varied from day to day depending on how I was feeling. As I vaguely recall, I'd cut down my dose that first week of September, so I was probably at about 20 mg. for about a week when I finally decided to make that jump.

 

I've tried to taper many times before but I had a VERY, VERY stressful job and I just kept updosing during periods of intense stress. I did manage to get down to 2.5 mg. of Valium twice a day on a couple of occasions, and once I c/t'd from that level and made it 17 days. But insomnia, or daytime stress/anxiety, led to reinstatement. So, for me, jumping off c/t was really the only way to get some distance between me and benzos.

 

So here I sit at 64 days. My d/p and d/r faded about 2-1/2 weeks ago. The biggest thing that drives me up the wall is some sort of electric "hum" or "buzz" flowing out of my brain 24/7. I've learned to diminish it with Hyland's Calms Forte (a homeopathic remedy that doesn't get rid of it, but does take the edge off of anxiety and insomnia), and now I am just holding in there until months 3 or 4, when people say that "hum/buzz" tends to go away. I'm at about 50 percent, but once that hum/buzz goes away I'd say I would be about 70-75 percent off, with just minor complaints remaining.

 

My goals right now are (in order) to make it to Thanksgiving, then to Dec. 7 (three months off), then to Christmas, and from there to New Year's Day and on to January 7th (four months off). Hopefully I will be a lot better off at January 7 than I am right now. I look back at Oct. 7, when I was just one month off, and it doesn't seem like it but I HAVE gotten better.

 

I'm just hanging in there day by day until 7-8 months are done, and then hopefully I'll be able to go back to work part-time, and then by one year I can go back to work on a full-time basis. Nothing is set in concrete at this point. I'm just taking it as it comes, but those are general goals I hope to meet.

 

Hang in there. It's slow, but it does get better!

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 64 of my final c/t:

[[...]]

i think it's a great idea

[[de...]]

Hi Desi,

 

We are about the same time off.  I didn't do a ct, but had an up and down history with benzos because of lack of knowledge.  My first benzo, ativan was given to me for labrynthitis and I had to stop it for a test to determine whether I had it or not. So I pretty much ct'd that and was deathly ill.  I was put on clonazepam for anxiety, now known to be caused by the ct from ativan.  I did c/o to valium and tapered from that.  I didn't do a really slow taper as some here do, but it worked ok for me.

 

I also have a surge in physical sxs right now.  Muscle pain, nerve pain, muscle spasms, twitching, dizzy boaty feeling.  Funny thing is I didn't have it nearly this bad for a long time and was bicycling as much as 17 to 20 miles a ride. I had a tremendous amount of body burning and muscle pain early off, but then it tapered off. These more intense sxs seemed to start around the beginning of October with muscles spasms in my neck and head.

 

I keep waiting for relief and the next big window.  I hope it is right around the corner and I hope you start to feel better soon.  Its so hard to not worry and fret about these increases in sxs.  I hold back from going to the doctor because I do think it is withdrawal.

 

Hang in there, reading the success stories always gives me HOPE. Thats something the benzos can't take away.

 

Hugs,

 

pianogirl 

 

 

yeah the first few months were easier for me as well.  not easy, by any means...just easier because they were more typical anxiety symptoms. by the end of month two i started to have a lot of electrical symptoms.  i've had good days and bad days...good hours, bad hours etc.  the hardest thing is when my symptoms ease up and then i get hit with a big wave.  it's discouraging.  i hold onto success stories and try to remember that the first 6 months are usually the hardest.

hope you get a big window soon. 

[[de...]]

I detoxed off of 20 mgs of valium almost 2 years ago.  8 days , no other meds.

 

3 to 6 months was a very rough time.  It gets better after that, not perfect but much better.

 

I am healed, you will heal too.  Congrats on your progress,  good healing time under your belt.

 

Keep going,  you have this,  and it's worth it.

 

love to you zoe

 

thanks.  i really need the encouragement. 

[[de...]]

Members have started new threads in the past. You're right. We don't want to exclude anyone. If you want to start a thread about your experience with c/t, you certainly can. But please don't title it "C/T members only"..etc. If you title it "My experience with c/t" or the like, you will get many who post their own stories there.

 

I'm afraid that's the best we can do for now.

 

Btw, it looks like you just did start a c/t thread. 

 

yeah....guess i did.  thanks for the info.

[[de...]]

Desi,

 

What did you want to talk about?  What kind of questions do you have for a fellow c/t'er?  I am willing to listen and talk.

 

how long on, dosage, how long off, symptoms...mostly.  but anything you would like to write about is fine with me.

[[de...]]

Hey, let me know what you want to talk about. I have c/t'd three times before and finally in early September, as I was nearing 14 years of addiction to Valium later in the month, I decided to really make an all-out effort to c/t as of September 7th. I've pretty much been in c/t mode since then (with "two days off" for brief rescue doses after Days 37 and 55 when I was about to go insane...I don't count those two days in my total). I'm on Day 64 now.

 

I jumped at 30-40 mg. of Valium. I can't say for sure if it was 30 or 40, since my dose varied from day to day depending on how I was feeling. As I vaguely recall, I'd cut down my dose that first week of September, so I was probably at about 20 mg. for about a week when I finally decided to make that jump.

 

I've tried to taper many times before but I had a VERY, VERY stressful job and I just kept updosing during periods of intense stress. I did manage to get down to 2.5 mg. of Valium twice a day on a couple of occasions, and once I c/t'd from that level and made it 17 days. But insomnia, or daytime stress/anxiety, led to reinstatement. So, for me, jumping off c/t was really the only way to get some distance between me and benzos.

 

So here I sit at 64 days. My d/p and d/r faded about 2-1/2 weeks ago. The biggest thing that drives me up the wall is some sort of electric "hum" or "buzz" flowing out of my brain 24/7. I've learned to diminish it with Hyland's Calms Forte (a homeopathic remedy that doesn't get rid of it, but does take the edge off of anxiety and insomnia), and now I am just holding in there until months 3 or 4, when people say that "hum/buzz" tends to go away. I'm at about 50 percent, but once that hum/buzz goes away I'd say I would be about 70-75 percent off, with just minor complaints remaining.

 

My goals right now are (in order) to make it to Thanksgiving, then to Dec. 7 (three months off), then to Christmas, and from there to New Year's Day and on to January 7th (four months off). Hopefully I will be a lot better off at January 7 than I am right now. I look back at Oct. 7, when I was just one month off, and it doesn't seem like it but I HAVE gotten better.

 

I'm just hanging in there day by day until 7-8 months are done, and then hopefully I'll be able to go back to work part-time, and then by one year I can go back to work on a full-time basis. Nothing is set in concrete at this point. I'm just taking it as it comes, but those are general goals I hope to meet.

 

Hang in there. It's slow, but it does get better!

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 64 of my final c/t:

 

hey tucson,  ive been paying close attention to your posts lately.  i mainly wanted to know where c/t'ers are at with symptoms and if they don't have a signature line would love to know how long on, off and dosage. 

i know that hum/buzz thing.  went away for me then just came back...but i'm in a wave right now.  i hope you're in a window for your thanksgiving trip. 

[[Sh...]]

Ok, I c/t off klonopin on Oct. 12 and c/t off Celexa on Oct. 17.  Both were ok'ed by pdoc.  Also, used Ambien, off and on until Oct. 16.  So, the bad news is I really don't know what is causing me withdrawal.  I just got tired of being in a fog. I fought anxiety and side aches my first eight days and then got slammed with bad anxiety.  My first month has been horrible and can't imagine it getting any worse. Right now I am in a hospital and have been for four day due to convulsions.  I had no choice, I was being flung to the floor with convulsions. 

 

Right now, I have ringing in my ears, convulsions, startled by and sensitive to sound, migranes, insomnia, short term memory loss, lack of concentration. Also, morning and evening anxiety.  I seem to have a window everyday from 12-5.

 

I really hope it gets better after a few months.

 

Staying positive and hoping it is just a sign of healing.

 

What are everyone else's s/x?

[[de...]]

Ok, I c/t off klonopin on Oct. 12 and c/t off Celexa on Oct. 17.  Both were ok'ed by pdoc.  Also, used Ambien, off and on until Oct. 16.  So, the bad news is I really don't know what is causing me withdrawal.  I just got tired of being in a fog. I fought anxiety and side aches my first eight days and then got slammed with bad anxiety.  My first month has been horrible and can't imagine it getting any worse. Right now I am in a hospital and have been for four day due to convulsions.  I had no choice, I was being flung to the floor with convulsions. 

 

Right now, I have ringing in my ears, convulsions, startled by and sensitive to sound, migranes, insomnia, short term memory loss, lack of concentration. Also, morning and evening anxiety.  I seem to have a window everyday from 12-5.

 

I really hope it gets better after a few months.

 

Staying positive and hoping it is just a sign of healing.

 

wow..the convulsions sound terrible.  i'm so sorry you're having a hard time.  have they given you anything for convulsions or other symptoms?

yes, that's exactly what i try to remember every time i'm in a bad wave...it's just a sign of healing.  be well. i'll be praying for you.

 

What are everyone else's s/x?

[[Sh...]]

Yes, I am taking meds for the convulsions.  Depacote.  My neurologist, who doesn't think it is withdrawal, has been wonderful.  I don't push the benzo withdrawal issue with him since he said he won't give up until I feel better.  He assured me I wasn't going crazy.

 

 

[[de...]]

Yes, I am taking meds for the convulsions.  Depacote.  My neurologist, who doesn't think it is withdrawal, has been wonderful.  I don't push the benzo withdrawal issue with him since he said he won't give up until I feel better.  He assured me I wasn't going crazy.

 

 

 

it's nice that you found a doctor who cares.

[[...]]

desilou,

 

On December 8th, 2010, at 6.30 p.m. I went cold-turkey off of Ativan and Ambien that I had been on for about 3 years. I will always remember that date because I made a decent into hell for awhile.  I experienced well over 20 withdrawal symptoms.  Now, 11 months later, I am about 85% healed.  My remaining symptoms are some slight shoulder pain, occasional chills, and head stuffiness.  Compared to my time in hell, I consider these minor distractions a little bit of heaven.

 

Hang in there.  It does end and your world will make sense to you once again.

 

pj 

[[Sh...]]

Pj,

 

How long was your "hell"?  Did it start from the beginning?

[[...]]

Pj,

 

How long was your "hell"?  Did it start from the beginning?

 

I had been in tolerance withdrawal for about 2 years before I went c/t so I had some experience with withdrawals.  The night I went c/t is when things really escalated. I would go from feeling like I was placed in a hot oven to being put in a freezer every view minutes.  I did not sleep for 30 days, my mind would not stop racing.  Around month 3 and 4 things started to turn around and I have progressively gotten better to the point to where I am at now, which is darn good considering where I came from.

 

Good luck to you Tom, it gets better.

 

pj

[[de...]]

desilou,

 

On December 8th, 2010, at 6.30 p.m. I went cold-turkey off of Ativan and Ambien that I had been on for about 3 years. I will always remember that date because I made a decent into hell for awhile.  I experienced well over 20 withdrawal symptoms.  Now, 11 months later, I am about 85% healed.  My remaining symptoms are some slight shoulder pain, occasional chills, and head stuffiness.  Compared to my time in hell, I consider these minor distractions a little bit of heaven.

 

Hang in there.  It does end and your world will make sense to you once again.

 

pj 

 

thanks pj, for your words of encouragement. 

[Guest [Tu...]]

It's encouraging that I keep seeing comments by people who ct'd and who reported that things began to get better at about 3 months and even more so by 4 months! I hit two months this past Monday (September 7) and am now on Day 64. It's gotten a bit better and when I think back to where I was at 1 month, I KNOW I have improved. I'm sure looking forward to December 7. I know it's Pearl Harbor and not a day to celebrate, but it will mark 3 months for me, so I will have to have my own private little celebration.

 

The longest I was ever able to c/t was 47 days and hitting that mark in late October was awesome. Now, every day as I move into the future I set a new record. It's not one I will have to try and achieve again sometime in the future, because I am determined to make this fourth c/t my last c/t!

 

I hope everyone has a great Veterans Day. (I'm an Air Force "brat" and served in the Navy 1973-77.)

 

Best wishes,

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 64 of my final c/t: 

[[...]]

It's encouraging that I keep seeing comments by people who ct'd and who reported that things began to get better at about 3 months and even more so by 4 months! I hit two months this past Monday (September 7) and am now on Day 64. It's gotten a bit better and when I think back to where I was at 1 month, I KNOW I have improved. I'm sure looking forward to December 7. I know it's Pearl Harbor and not a day to celebrate, but it will mark 3 months for me, so I will have to have my own private little celebration.

 

The longest I was ever able to c/t was 47 days and hitting that mark in late October was awesome. Now, every day as I move into the future I set a new record. It's not one I will have to try and achieve again sometime in the future, because I am determined to make this fourth c/t my last c/t!

 

I hope everyone has a great Veterans Day. (I'm an Air Force "brat" and served in the Navy 1973-77.)

 

Best wishes,

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 64 of my final c/t: 

 

You will make it this time, Tucson.  Thank you for your service in the military.

 

Good luck.  Remember, you will make it this time.

 

pj

[Guest [Si...]]

-

[[of...]]

It's encouraging that I keep seeing comments by people who ct'd and who reported that things began to get better at about 3 months and even more so by 4 months! I hit two months this past Monday (September 7) and am now on Day 64. It's gotten a bit better and when I think back to where I was at 1 month, I KNOW I have improved. I'm sure looking forward to December 7. I know it's Pearl Harbor and not a day to celebrate, but it will mark 3 months for me, so I will have to have my own private little celebration.

 

The longest I was ever able to c/t was 47 days and hitting that mark in late October was awesome. Now, every day as I move into the future I set a new record. It's not one I will have to try and achieve again sometime in the future, because I am determined to make this fourth c/t my last c/t!

 

I hope everyone has a great Veterans Day. (I'm an Air Force "brat" and served in the Navy 1973-77.)

 

Best wishes,

 

Tucson

 

Nice job on 64 days,  good stuff.  Try to shoot for the 6 months mark first,  I set my goals as six month markers.  It got dicey for me in month 4,  just keep pushing forward, you will not regret it.  I have no doubt in my mind that if I could do it anyone can.,  you are in my thoughts ,  zoe

 

Me on Day 64 of my final c/t: