Benzo (and GABA) drug withdrawal is fibromyalgia in most cases??

[[Ch...]]

Robb,

Yes - the post-Lyrica pain is horrid. I feel like someone is constantly kicking me in the legs and arms. It is the strangest sensation, and one I never had prior to taking the Lyrica. When I first started Lyrica, it was nice and sedating and helped, but as with the GABA drugs, I had to up the dose to get the same effect. Eventually, after being on it at 150 mg for about a year, I just held at that dose and then decided to come off of it after a year and a half. Those last 25 mg killed me, but I made it. Now I just have to wait it out and see how long the "being repeatedly kicked by a little troll in every muscle" feeling lasts.

 

Hang in there. One day at a time. We'll get through this, and maybe with some determination and documentation, we CAN show those drug companies that there is a relationship between our healing brain receptors and the chronic pain that everyone wants to label as FMS.

 

m

[[of...]]

I have a friend who came off benzos and suffered with chronic pain.

 

She has been on an elimination diet for awhile and her pain is pretty much gone.

 

http://www.wholelifenutrition.net/id16.html  here is a link about the diet.

 

Here is something else she found on tinnitus

 

http://www.msgtruth.org/tinnitus.htm

 

it's a good site to check out.  Whether on benzos or not,  I think all of this research does have some merit.

 

 

[[Ro...]]

I have a friend who came off benzos and suffered with chronic pain.

 

She has been on an elimination diet for awhile and her pain is pretty much gone.

 

http://www.wholelifenutrition.net/id16.html  here is a link about the diet.

 

Here is something else she found on tinnitus

 

http://www.msgtruth.org/tinnitus.htm

 

it's a good site to check out.  Whether on benzos or not,  I think all of this research does have some merit.

 

 

 

that's great...hoping for the same here.

 

Thanks for your post

 

Robb

[[Ro...]]

Robb,

Yes - the post-Lyrica pain is horrid. I feel like someone is constantly kicking me in the legs and arms. It is the strangest sensation, and one I never had prior to taking the Lyrica. When I first started Lyrica, it was nice and sedating and helped, but as with the GABA drugs, I had to up the dose to get the same effect. Eventually, after being on it at 150 mg for about a year, I just held at that dose and then decided to come off of it after a year and a half. Those last 25 mg killed me, but I made it. Now I just have to wait it out and see how long the "being repeatedly kicked by a little troll in every muscle" feeling lasts.

 

Hang in there. One day at a time. We'll get through this, and maybe with some determination and documentation, we CAN show those drug companies that there is a relationship between our healing brain receptors and the chronic pain that everyone wants to label as FMS.

 

m

 

Inkerbelle...as soon as I can think again...I'll be back on this subject. Keep up the good work. My plan is to fish the fibro sites and let people know my story. I think word of mouth is the best way to spread information. I think talking to people who have these pains will be the best place to start. I had almost no luck so far and I have been to several of these sites.There are far more fibro sites than there are benzo wd sites.

 

Keep up the good work Inkerbelle I'll be joining you eventually.

 

XO, Robb

[[Ro...]]

It is my opinion that most people diagnosed with fibromyalgia are just having a reaction to GABA acting drugs. The treatment I got after a fibro diagnosis was Neurontin, Cymbalta, Ambien and ativan and I got much worse after taking these drugs (all gaba acting drugs). The Fibro symptoms are the same as benzo "protracted" withdrawal - they both involve the CNS and neither can be detected with any reliable test so...the drug companies and the FDA have a perfect "cover their ass diagnosis" as they just label all these people having body pains and mental/cognitive issues from these CNS and GABA acting drugs as Fibro.

 

Could anyone imagine the amount of lawsuits that would come out of this worldwide if this fibro thing was just long term AD and benzo WD/tolerance issues??

 

Anyone agree with this possibility?

 

Actually SSRIs do this too - I know it now. I went on benzos because of pain and facial numbness induced anxiety and the benzo cured it. It was nothing like this though. These drugs IMO all just suppress the CNS one way or another. It's just so bizarre and inhumane.

[[Ch...]]

Robb,

Yes - the post-Lyrica pain is horrid. I feel like someone is constantly kicking me in the legs and arms. It is the strangest sensation, and one I never had prior to taking the Lyrica. When I first started Lyrica, it was nice and sedating and helped, but as with the GABA drugs, I had to up the dose to get the same effect. Eventually, after being on it at 150 mg for about a year, I just held at that dose and then decided to come off of it after a year and a half. Those last 25 mg killed me, but I made it. Now I just have to wait it out and see how long the "being repeatedly kicked by a little troll in every muscle" feeling lasts.

 

Hang in there. One day at a time. We'll get through this, and maybe with some determination and documentation, we CAN show those drug companies that there is a relationship between our healing brain receptors and the chronic pain that everyone wants to label as FMS.

 

m

 

Inkerbelle...as soon as I can think again...I'll be back on this subject. Keep up the good work. My plan is to fish the fibro sites and let people know my story. I think word of mouth is the best way to spread information. I think talking to people who have these pains will be the best place to start. I had almost no luck so far and I have been to several of these sites.There are far more fibro sites than there are benzo wd sites.

 

Keep up the good work Inkerbelle I'll be joining you eventually.

 

XO, Robb

 

Robb,

I know you've been going through a great deal of pain in your taper lately and you've been in my thoughts. I was just talking with my therapist on the phone yesterday (I couldn't leave the house because I was in so much pain) about BB, all the weird sxs I've been having, and how this really awesome person on BB brought up the Fibro/benzo connection on the board.

 

I've made posts to different Fibro sites to ask questions and I just get dead air (not about this subject - this was before I had any awareness about it). I posted about tapering from Lyrica. I imagine the people on those boards are probably happy with Lyrica and aren't interested in getting off of it. I know when I first got the dx, I just felt happy that someone could explain what was wrong with me. I liked "medical explanations" and took doctors at their words.

 

If you get to the stage where you want to collaborate on something bigger than posting on boards, we can put together our own website. Pick out a domain name [note that Cesspool of Madness is already taken :-) ] and I'll buy it (I keep all domain names under domain-by-proxy so my identity is hidden from the public). I have unlimited hosting space on my server and since I spend virtually every minute I'm awake being very intimate with my computer, I can build the site. We can work on some content together and promote it ourselves. If others on this forum are interested, they can participate too. My email is open and in my profile, but for anyone that wanted to collaborate but wants to remain anonymous, I like Gmail and you can set up an account there (that's what I use - they have doc sharing and chat, so it makes collaboration nice for group projects).

 

Of course (being me), I have to throw some humor in here (http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell). As a web designer, I will decree there shall be no stream-of-consciousness talking dogs, etc. I'm pretty sure your mom would not want to collaborate, so we're pretty safe there ;-)

 

Let me know if or when you might want to do something like this. I can make things look pretty online and do technical stuff. I will also share my story, but you are the brains behind this. Oh, when I lived in Texas, it was to get my PhD at Southern Methodist U in Dallas. I literally tried to kill myself twice during this process and I was on the crazy-meds half the time. I was totally in the wrong field, but I managed to finish (shortly thereafter ending up in the psych ward twice). Where am I going with this dumb story? I can write a kick-a-- bibliography and I know how to do research. So between us, we can cite some sources to really bolster the case that you've really worked hard to make, and that I admire you so much for doing.

 

You totally rock! Keep taking it an hour, or even, minute at a time. Know we are all here caring about you.

 

Hugs, prayers, and love,

marie

[[Ro...]]

Robb,

Yes - the post-Lyrica pain is horrid. I feel like someone is constantly kicking me in the legs and arms. It is the strangest sensation, and one I never had prior to taking the Lyrica. When I first started Lyrica, it was nice and sedating and helped, but as with the GABA drugs, I had to up the dose to get the same effect. Eventually, after being on it at 150 mg for about a year, I just held at that dose and then decided to come off of it after a year and a half. Those last 25 mg killed me, but I made it. Now I just have to wait it out and see how long the "being repeatedly kicked by a little troll in every muscle" feeling lasts.

 

Hang in there. One day at a time. We'll get through this, and maybe with some determination and documentation, we CAN show those drug companies that there is a relationship between our healing brain receptors and the chronic pain that everyone wants to label as FMS.

 

m

 

Inkerbelle...as soon as I can think again...I'll be back on this subject. Keep up the good work. My plan is to fish the fibro sites and let people know my story. I think word of mouth is the best way to spread information. I think talking to people who have these pains will be the best place to start. I had almost no luck so far and I have been to several of these sites.There are far more fibro sites than there are benzo wd sites.

 

Keep up the good work Inkerbelle I'll be joining you eventually.

 

XO, Robb

 

Robb,

I know you've been going through a great deal of pain in your taper lately and you've been in my thoughts. I was just talking with my therapist on the phone yesterday (I couldn't leave the house because I was in so much pain) about BB, all the weird sxs I've been having, and how this really awesome person on BB brought up the Fibro/benzo connection on the board.

 

I've made posts to different Fibro sites to ask questions and I just get dead air (not about this subject - this was before I had any awareness about it). I posted about tapering from Lyrica. I imagine the people on those boards are probably happy with Lyrica and aren't interested in getting off of it. I know when I first got the dx, I just felt happy that someone could explain what was wrong with me. I liked "medical explanations" and took doctors at their words.

 

If you get to the stage where you want to collaborate on something bigger than posting on boards, we can put together our own website. Pick out a domain name [note that Cesspool of Madness is already taken :-) ] and I'll buy it (I keep all domain names under domain-by-proxy so my identity is hidden from the public). I have unlimited hosting space on my server and since I spend virtually every minute I'm awake being very intimate with my computer, I can build the site. We can work on some content together and promote it ourselves. If others on this forum are interested, they can participate too. My email is open and in my profile, but for anyone that wanted to collaborate but wants to remain anonymous, I like Gmail and you can set up an account there (that's what I use - they have doc sharing and chat, so it makes collaboration nice for group projects).

 

Of course (being me), I have to throw some humor in here (http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell). As a web designer, I will decree there shall be no stream-of-consciousness talking dogs, etc. I'm pretty sure your mom would not want to collaborate, so we're pretty safe there ;-)

 

Let me know if or when you might want to do something like this. I can make things look pretty online and do technical stuff. I will also share my story, but you are the brains behind this. Oh, when I lived in Texas, it was to get my PhD at Southern Methodist U in Dallas. I literally tried to kill myself twice during this process and I was on the crazy-meds half the time. I was totally in the wrong field, but I managed to finish (shortly thereafter ending up in the psych ward twice). Where am I going with this dumb story? I can write a kick-a-- bibliography and I know how to do research. So between us, we can cite some sources to really bolster the case that you've really worked hard to make, and that I admire you so much for doing.

 

You totally rock! Keep taking it an hour, or even, minute at a time. Know we are all here caring about you.

 

Hugs, prayers, and love,

marie

 

Wow Marie,

 

That sounds like an amazing idea. I am just not able to do any of it yet though but I sure imagine if circumstances permit in the near or distant future I would want to give it a second go. I have obtained a lot of information throughout my experience and would be willing to share that with anyone that asks.

 

As for the problem of convincing others on the Fibro forums - it's more complicated than you may think - people love their drugs because they get sudden and comprehendable relief. Try and convince someone that the long road of recovery without guarantee of recovery is their best option is a very difficult task. I tried it for soo many months while in a manic- pain state. It wears one thin to have to give it a go in such hostile environments.

 

Trying to convince people of the problem that is unfathomable to them is like trying to convince them that not eating ever again is in their best interest. It becomes very frustrating to spend so much time trying to convince people that their best friends are their problems. At this time I have to refrain from that and recover some more before walking that path again. I would love to add any insight and information I may have, but for now...I am just going to recover myself.

 

I will change my mind eventually Marie. I hope you still have the drive then. It is a very difficult and hard journey to convince drug addicts (intentional or otherwise) that their drugs are the problem. I am just to worn out from recovery to take on any projects yet. After the dust settles with wd - I need to clean up the aftermath of my life in shambles too. I need to start working as soon as possible or I will be stuck here with a woman that offends me and steals from me and plays games of "bait and trap".

 

I would love to give it a go again and try some different approaches to takling the fibro/benzo wd link. I just need time to recover and straighten out the mess that is life after wd.

 

I'll be around for a while Marie - When I get more stable and I realize that the pain is gone - I will get the itch again - I know it. Keep in touch and thanks for being such a kind and thoughtful person.

 

Muaaaaaaaaah, Robb  

 

PS - wow Inkerbelle, I just checked out that link - bhahahaha. I always did like your sense of humor , you should stop by chat sometime I always find the best humor is found in real time. We have some good laughs in there.

 

Talk to you soon - Robb [move][/move]

[[Ch...]]

Robb -

I completely get what you are saying. When people believe the meds are helping them, it's hard to get out of that mindset. I believed for a long time that my meds were helping me. I had to come to a mindset of realizing they were doing more harm then good. It has to be an individual journey for everyone, which is why I think a website is a good idea. People start googling and they get a new perspective and eventually they make a connection.

 

You've had a rough journey and I know you have a lot to focus on right now. There isn't any hurry with anything. I'm tethered to my computer permanently, so when the day comes that you want a special project, we'll tackle it. Healing is top priority though. You have to crawl before you can walk before you can run, etc. All in good time. But the offer won't expire!

 

You've got a great sense of humor! I really appreciate that in you. Glad you enjoyed the link. It is my life's story now that I've transitioned over into website design. There are some other really funny comics on that site too.

 

I'll try and get on chat when it comes back. I'm horribly shy. I can write stuff in posts when I can use (what's left of) my brain to edit things and make attempts to sound witty. I worry that in "real time" I'll just come across as a moron. That's generally what happens when I have to interact with carbon-based lifeforms in the real-world. Hence, why my computer is my best friend. And why I would probably wither away without email.

 

XO, marie

[[Ro...]]

 

 

I worry that in "real time" I'll just come across as a moron. That's generally what happens when I have to interact with carbon-based lifeforms in the real-world.

 

XO, marie

LMAO - Damn carbon based life forms!!!!

 

You know you can always blame things on wd - I do. :) Everyone that goes to chat is accepted in chat...we pretty much make sure of that. We are all buds there and a close group of very decent ppl. It takes a bit of time to mesh with everyone but it happens for us all.

 

I understand your apprehension in "real time" but you are missing out on something kinda special if you don't give it a go.

 

Thinking of you Marie, Robb

[[Ch...]]

 

 

I worry that in "real time" I'll just come across as a moron. That's generally what happens when I have to interact with carbon-based lifeforms in the real-world.

 

XO, marie

LMAO - Damn carbon based life forms!!!!

 

You know you can always blame things on wd - I do. :) Everyone that goes to chat is accepted in chat...we pretty much make sure of that. We are all buds there and a close group of very decent ppl. It takes a bit of time to mesh with everyone but it happens for us all.

 

I understand your apprehension in "real time" but you are missing out on something kinda special if you don't give it a go.

 

Thinking of you Marie, Robb

 

I suppose chat is really just bits of binary data. I can handle 1's and 0's just fine. Most of the time! I spend the greater part of my day G+'ing, which was intimidating at first. OMG I just commented on a post. OMG someone just +1'd it! OMG they added me to their circles. OMG! I'm actually cool! Web-geeks live in perpetual fear of real-world rejection. But we have good senses of humor.

 

Believe me, I blame everything on w/d. Even when I'm just too lazy to do something I'm perfectly capable of doing. "I can't because I'm in w/d right now." Not that that excuse works ever.

 

I'll give chat a try, BUT only because YOU'VE convinced me. If it were anyone else, I'd be skeptical.

 

Hope your evening is going well and peaceful and you're not in too much pain.

 

Lots of hugs,

marie

[[Ro...]]

 

 

I worry that in "real time" I'll just come across as a moron. That's generally what happens when I have to interact with carbon-based lifeforms in the real-world.

 

XO, marie

LMAO - Damn carbon based life forms!!!!

 

You know you can always blame things on wd - I do. :) Everyone that goes to chat is accepted in chat...we pretty much make sure of that. We are all buds there and a close group of very decent ppl. It takes a bit of time to mesh with everyone but it happens for us all.

 

I understand your apprehension in "real time" but you are missing out on something kinda special if you don't give it a go.

 

Thinking of you Marie, Robb

 

I suppose chat is really just bits of binary data. I can handle 1's and 0's just fine. Most of the time! I spend the greater part of my day G+'ing, which was intimidating at first. OMG I just commented on a post. OMG someone just +1'd it! OMG they added me to their circles. OMG! I'm actually cool! Web-geeks live in perpetual fear of real-world rejection. But we have good senses of humor.

 

Believe me, I blame everything on w/d. Even when I'm just too lazy to do something I'm perfectly capable of doing. "I can't because I'm in w/d right now." Not that that excuse works ever.

 

I'll give chat a try, BUT only because YOU'VE convinced me. If it were anyone else, I'd be skeptical.

 

Hope your evening is going well and peaceful and you're not in too much pain.

 

Lots of hugs,

marie

That's awesome Marie - funny post too. You are (as you probably already know) going to have to wait for a while to get into chat as it is temporarily out of service while they get the glitches out of the new system. Would be great to show you the ropes though. Every one is pretty friendly and supportive and we joke around a little too (of course).There are a few people in there that are hanging on and using chat as a sort of lifeline. I was  one of those people not long ago but I have improved some as I upped my dose to .3 mgs.

 

Looking forward to seeing you, Robb [move][/move]

 

Look forward to seeing you in there soon enough.

[[Ch...]]

Yeah - I know anything involving a website and upgrades takes a massive amount of time. In my case, it's usually because there are three morons really cool people that still want to use Internet Explorer 6 to view the page and you have re-code everything so that they can do that. IE6 is universally hated by anyone who does anything with webpages. In case you are using IE6 to read this post, ignore everything I just said. I am totally on board with such an awesome browser! And by the way, can I buy you a Chromebook for Christmas?

 

Anyway, this will give me time to prepare my chatting social skills and practice some responses in case anyone asks me a question:

 

What's the weather like where you're at?

I've only tried to kill myself three times. It's starting to snow here, finally!

 

------------

 

You sound like you are feeling a bit better since you've gone back up and are stabilizing. I was worried about you. I've had two visits to the psych ward, and I know they are a laugh and a half. I especially liked the new friend I made that kept asking me every fifteen minutes if she had killed her husband by backing over him with her car enroute to buy him some beer because she couldn't remember. I'm sure you'd appreciate some cool, new friends like that, but it's good it didn't come down to that.

 

I do hope they can get Chat up and running soon for those that depend on it. One time a cardiologist told me to stop taking any drug that was causing low BP (that was like 4 CNS depressants I was on, so I C/T all four of them at once). About two days later, I thought I was going insane. Having someone to talk to during that time would have been critical. Even now. I have really good days, and days when I feel like the loneliest and most pathetic person in the whole world (woe is me). There is no substitute for a support system, so matter what I'm are talking about, and admittedly, how dumb I sound when I'm talking/typing, I will just have to remember to hashtag 3/4 of what I say with #sarcasm so I either don't get banned or universally hated.

 

XO, marie

 

 

[[Ro...]]

Yeah - I know anything involving a website and upgrades takes a massive amount of time. In my case, it's usually because there are three morons really cool people that still want to use Internet Explorer 6 to view the page and you have re-code everything so that they can do that. IE6 is universally hated by anyone who does anything with webpages. In case you are using IE6 to read this post, ignore everything I just said. I am totally on board with such an awesome browser! And by the way, can I buy you a Chromebook for Christmas?

 

Anyway, this will give me time to prepare my chatting social skills and practice some responses in case anyone asks me a question:

 

What's the weather like where you're at?

I've only tried to kill myself three times. It's starting to snow here, finally!

 

------------

 

You sound like you are feeling a bit better since you've gone back up and are stabilizing. I was worried about you. I've had two visits to the psych ward, and I know they are a laugh and a half. I especially liked the new friend I made that kept asking me every fifteen minutes if she had killed her husband by backing over him with her car enroute to buy him some beer because she couldn't remember. I'm sure you'd appreciate some cool, new friends like that, but it's good it didn't come down to that.

 

I do hope they can get Chat up and running soon for those that depend on it. One time a cardiologist told me to stop taking any drug that was causing low BP (that was like 4 CNS depressants I was on, so I C/T all four of them at once). About two days later, I thought I was going insane. Having someone to talk to during that time would have been critical. Even now. I have really good days, and days when I feel like the loneliest and most pathetic person in the whole world (woe is me). There is no substitute for a support system, so matter what I'm are talking about, and admittedly, how dumb I sound when I'm talking/typing, I will just have to remember to hashtag 3/4 of what I say with #sarcasm so I either don't get banned or universally hated.

 

XO, marie

You are killing cracking me up Marie. You have some spunk in your writing. Are you living alone or with someone?

 

I use sarcasm to the fullest extent of the law in chat but be careful with it as many only look at the literal in text. anyway...chat looks like it is broken for some time anyway so your sarcasm is safe and site reputation in tact.

 

Feeling better? Yes and no - it varies...my waves are stronger and so are my windows. I am at least having windows though and they prepare me for the waves. To be truthful...I am wearing down with each extended wave. I guess they would diagnose me as bipolar at this point except that I am typing really slow and I do sleep some now.

 

The weather (LOL) - I wouldn't be able to tell you as I am cooped up in my room and my light sensitivity causes me to close the curtain. the weather in my room is about 76 degrees and hazy though (lol).

 

Talk/write to you soon. It is way past my bed time at the moment.

 

XO, Robb

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Good afternoon Robb, in the horrid state of Texas, (I know that offends anyone that lives in Texas, because all Texans seem to love Texas, but I have to say, I'm glad I don't live there anymore).

 

This thread is getting off topic! We need to start a back-and-forth BS thread.

 

When I'm writing in English (as opposed to HTML or CSS), I try to throw in as much spunk as I can. Someone once told me that my humor was just a mask for all my pain. There's probably some truth in that. But even when I write in code, I throw in humor. I just learned that in the HTML5 doctype declaration (this doesn't mean anything to anyone but dorky web people, you can throw in a public and fill it with whatever you want). So now, I've been coding all my new pages with things like:

 

<!doctype html public "intoxication"> or <!doctype html public "display of affection"> - it's kind of a way show humor even in boring code.

 

My living situation is one of great loneliness. I should throw some humor in now - pain, pain! My husband works full time, and when he's home, he prefers to be on his computer upstairs than to interact with me. He thinks I'm lazy because most of the time I can't do very much other than rest and he has no desire whatsoever to try and understand the process I'm going through. Because I'm at home all day, I'm always getting scolded, like a child, for not doing chores, etc. If I say that I just spend the day trying not to kill myself, that's not really an excuse. If I get *too* depressed, I get threatened with being tossed out. I have no means of living and I need health insurance. So, it's like a super fun roommate situation. Then there's my mom. She moved out here about a year ago when I was so depressed that I couldn't take care of myself. She comes over most days to "help out." She is supportive and has made an effort to understand benzo w/d, etc., but she lobs lots of criticisms when she can get them in. I am essentially a constant disappointment to everyone around me. People that were my friends before I went crazy (er, OD'd on a bunch of pills in my grand attempt to exit the world) abandoned me. I did manage to gain a friend (not from the psych ward) but someone that I knew pre-crazy who regularly emails me, which really helps. It was an unexpected connection, but one that is really helping me get through some of the worst days.

 

Typing really slow and sleeping! The video! The Abilify must be working now! FWIW, I don't think you're bi-polar. And given that I've had to point out things to my p-doc that she didn't know, I consider myself to be quite qualified [i better make a note here that I am only a doctor of philosophy (in seismology), not a medical doctor, so I don't get flagged for making an inappropriate post]. You (and your poor brain) have been through some horrific experiences. I don't think I've hit the waves and windows thing yet. I'm kind of in a constant cog fog and chronic pain situation, with other weird miscellaneous side effects. But I do understand struggle, and despite the fact that your body and brain and fighting you right now, I admire your courage to keep fighting back, especially with your sense of humor. But I also appreciate it when you need to just vent and rage and get out your feelings. The main thing, the really important thing, is that if desperation takes over (because I know what that feels like), you know you have someone to reach out to. I'm getting all, like, serious here, but you can put me on that list.

 

I'm glad the weather in your room sounds relatively comfortable, although I'm concerned about that haze. If it's just the brain haze, no problem. If it's some kind of weird Texas-ozone-pollution leaking in through the blackout curtains, we need to get the EPA notified. I have light-sensitivity too. I keep all the blinds drawn and I like it dark. Except for the comforting glow of my laptop screen.

 

Hope you got some sleep that was restful and peaceful,

XO, marie

[[Ch...]]

Robb,

I wrote back to you (which took me all day yesterday) and now several of the posts are missing from the thread. I'm incredibly unhappy about this right now.

 

I hope you got to read it before it mysteriously vanished into the ether.

 

xo, m

[[Ro...]]

Robb,

I wrote back to you (which took me all day yesterday) and now several of the posts are missing from the thread. I'm incredibly unhappy about this right now.

 

I hope you got to read it before it mysteriously vanished into the ether.

 

xo, m

 

I see that there are posts missing - I did get to read your post but didn't get to reply. I know that took a long time. I'll get back to you Inkerbell - maybe they are just doing some maintenance or something IDK...time will tell.

 

xo, r

[[Ch...]]

Well that's good. I've completely lost the plot today. Cue the violins. The insomnia has hit (I actually PM'd myself at 4 in morning, just so I'd have an email to read), and my pain levels are like 10x worse than yesterday. I don't know how I can be anxious and this depressed at the same time. I feel like just giving up now. I'm going to go smoke and cry continue crying. Hope you are doing better today. Lots of love, m

[[Pe...]]

Hey Robb,

 

Since my post is now missing about the HPA Axis, Benzos, and Fibromyalgia...here are the links again and a new article I found regarding this:

 

 

 

studies have demonstrated that classical benzodiazepines decrease hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical cortex (HPA) axis activity

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16125698

 

 

benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms may be partly due to a disinhibition of the HPA system during discontinuation of benzodiazepines.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15219633

 

 

fibromyalgia patients have an imbalance of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis

 

http://www.ei-resource.org/articles/fibromyalgia-articles/causes-and-treatment-of-fibromyalgia/

 

 

 

Recap: Benzos and benzo w/d suppress the HPA Axis---Fibromyalgia is thought to be caused by HPA Axis dysfunction.

[[Ro...]]

Hey there ladies,

 

I am really pooped out today but wanted to make a reply to thank you for you contributions to the thread. Perseverance - thank you for not only the links but posting them twice.

 

Marie - so sorry you lost all that work (not fair at all). Thank you for all your writing. I did read the deleted thread and I, of course, laughed my rear end off. I want to reply to these posts but don't have the stamina tonight..

 

Ladies have a very good day and many windows to you I will write more when a decent window permits.

 

Many hugs, Robb

[[Ch...]]

I could write "I hope you feel better" but that just sounds totally cliched. But you know what I mean. I don't even remember what I wrote in the infamous deleted post, since my memory is now working on an intermittent basis. But it was probably stupid, as most things I say are. But if it was funny, then I succeeded at *something* since I succeed at nothing else. Things are just going rapidly downhill here.

 

<begin> #rant (ignore)

My mom is driving me insane. We were eating dinner (which I have to do while also trying to mess around on my laptop) which meant I dropped my fork on the floor. First off, I apply the five second rule for anything that falls on the floor. Also, I've been wearing the same clothes for three days so WTF do I care if the fork was the floor, but my mom wants to pick a fight about the fork needing to be washed. Then I just wanted to watch my two favorite House episodes ever, but she kept dithering around, so I kept going out to the garage to smoke and she was like "You smoke too much." Luckily earlier in the day, someone posted this super awesome Siri/iPhone parody video to my G+ stream which had lines like "Searching for a place to hide" and "Send my wife directions to hell" and I just kept watching that over and over to make myself laugh while also mentally searching for a place to hide. Find your safe place. Find your safe place. And mentally telling Siri to send my ever-growing s--t list of people directions to hell. We *finally* got to watch House, but not without running commentary from my mom ["Who's that? Why is he saying that?"] Let. Me. Watch. In. Peace. So then I multi-tasked and started working on redoing my website.

 

Finally, I got to retreat upstairs with my laptop and cigarettes. I couldn't sleep and I don't really know what I did. Probably something on G+ or emailed Redacted, who is usually awake and/or drunk during that time of night and has the same sense of humor that I do and we make fun of stupid people that we have to deal with in our website lives or just make fun of how lame we are. Then around 2 am, I went out for a cigarette. My mom came rushing upstairs yelling frantically because she heard me walking around and/or the door open and thought something tragic was happening. She always thinks that when she hears me make a noise, it means I've fainted. I must have fallen asleep at some point. I heard my cell phone ringing this morning and I knew that would agitate her. She has this thing where she is compelled to answer all phone calls, but she doesn't know how to work my phone (the whole "swipe to answer" concept is way beyond her). So, I hear her rush upstairs to wake me up to tell me someone called (yeah, just a doctor's office). Then she's asking me 100 questions about how I slept and how I'm feeling, and then complaining that I slept too long and shouldn't I get up and put my AD patch on now? Srsly, I can't remember if I've put it on in three days. Maybe that's why I've gone insane.

 

Since it snowed more last night, she's putting on a big production about that. "I want to put some salt on this icy patch by the front gate so you don't fall or faint." Then she's asking me rapid fire questions about the properties of salt in relation to ice. Does it melt the ice or just act as a "coating" that keeps you from slipping/fainting? Why don't you go Google that and leave me alone? Then she wants to go inspect her car to make sure that it still works (because apparently snow has this property of spontaneously decimating vehicles). Her antifreeze looks like it might be a little low and her oil looks a little dirty. Should you check your antifreeze when the car is warm or cold? Siri, send my mother directions to.... Siri, find me a place to hide. Siri, can you teach my mom how to use Google? Or The Google as she calls it, on The FoxFire as she calls it. I don't like that Chrome contraption that you use. The FoxFire is better. You know, mom, I can install IE5.5 on the Mac if you want.

 

Now she's gone back to her house, but just temporarily. Then she's coming back to make sure that I eat lunch. And then we go to water therapy (I'm in too much pain to move, but she does this thing where she says "Well if you don't go, then I won't go because I don't want to leave you here by yourself, even though water therapy is my most favorite thing in the whole world." What would make us both happy is if you went and left me alone. But that won't happen, since we're both codependent.) And then eat dinner. Wash, rinse and repeat on yesterday's evening. God, tomorrow we have to drive to ABQ for my neuro appt. She drives 55 on the interstate (probably will go slower since there is snow - not on the actual highway, but next to it) when the speed limit is 75 and what should be an hour's drive takes 2 hours. Then she wants to go to a religious goods store there to buy a xmas gift for her sister. Siri, where is the nearest psych ward? Siri, make me an appointment for now. Siri, can you tell me how to kill myself and get it right this time?

<end> #rant #thatisall

 

SingTFU now. Just ignore me - I'm clearly in need of a system reboot. Srsly, feel better and get some rest. xo, m

[[Ch...]]

I'm all wired and I need to rant some more.

 

<begin> #rant (ignore)

I decide to go to water therapy, mainly because it is the last class and it's Tuesday. I only know it's Tuesday because my computer says it is. Tuesday is the day when my favorite lifeguard works. So I go. In the car, I always bring my phone and put on music so I don't have to talk to my mom. Today she is chatty. I just want to zone out. WHEN THE MUSIC IS PLAYING YOU SHOULD NOT BE TALKING. Is this The Snow Patrol? [Why do you have to add The in front of everything?] No, even though that's what we always listen to, I felt like a different song [Can I please listen to it?] Do they make cars with 4WD or just Subarus? I don't know. Did you know my friend Mary is selling her truck? [i don't care] No. Remember how she had that cabin in the woods, blah blah blah? [You've told that story five times already]. Conversation continues about sale of truck.

 

Water therapy is fun! It really does help my pain. And now that I've lost lots of weight, my muscles are lookin' good! 4:40: My lifeguard arrives when we are doing the most ridiculous thing. He's always up for mimicking us doing yoga poses, but even he won't do this one. I tell him that's a cop out. He says something jokingly snide, about how he might have to save me if I drown. Be still my beating heart [shut up. Redacted has already given me crap about this]. Class relocates to the hot tub. Class ends. I like the hot tub when I get it to myself. Today, that is not the case. Annoying Hot Tub Guy gets in. He likes to try and engage me in the same conversation every week while simultaneously staring at my chest. I just want to be quiet, relax, and keep tabs on my lifeguard, who has his break at 5:00 and wanders around (sometimes by the hot tub!). If we could just establish, that you, Annoying Hot Tub Guy, can stare at my rack if you don't talk to me, and I will pretend I don't know that's what you're doing, so I can see what my lifeguard is up to, we could just drop the pretense of conversation, eh? Let's agree to that next semester. Better yet, let's hope I don't have to see you again next semester! Super!

 

The drive home with my mom is excruciating. I'm trying to play my iPod again. Same song. Same question [is this The Snow Patrol?] after she screams about the sudden music scaring her. After a few minutes of driving, she suddenly exclaims she can't see. Oh my god, I'm not wearing my glasses. [OMG, we are going to die.] She pulls into a random church parking lot to dig out her glasses and then says, Maybe we were meant to come to this church. [Please no, please no, I just want to go home and have a cigarette]. She turns around and continues driving. We pass a street called "Governor Miles Road." Who was Governor Miles? [WTF?] I have no idea. Then she gets all huffy about how I should know that because I was born in NM and continues on that tangent for at least three minutes [the duration of the song I am still playing on a loop - Richard Ashcroft - not The Snow Patrol]. I suggest she can Google that when we get home. She says *I* can Google it since I was born here. WTF?!!!! We are getting closer to the house when she makes a wrong turn. I don't bother to tell her she's in the wrong lane because that just freaks her out. It's easier to divert her back to a different street. Unfortunately this street has a lot of houses with Christmas lights on display. She is strangely drawn to every house with lights, slowing at each one and pointing to it, as if I can't see it myself. Isn't that pretty. Look at that one. Isn't that pretty.

 

We finally get home. I head straight out for a smoke. Back to my computer. Hellloooooo G+! Are you watching another video about that phone? Yes. Why is it called Siri? I don't know. Is Wheel of Fortune on yet? Why is Vanna wearing the same dress as yesterday? I think this is the same show they showed yesterday? [For a minute, I think maybe it is yesterday]. Why don't you change the channel then? Oh good, Family Feud *snark*. I hear her calling out answers while I am responding to two posts about Klout. She asks me if I'm going to sleep tonight. That is like asking if the world is going to end tomorrow. Then she makes dinner. She's all freaked out about the plate being too hot. I'm trying to balance my laptop and reach for the plate. Suddenly she screams "DON'T TOUCH THE BOTTOM OF THE PLATE!" [i can hear you!] I don't drop my fork this time, thankfully.

 

I'm goofing off on the computer and she's asleep on the couch. I wish I could just fall asleep like that. I go out for another smoke. She's awake when I get back and she wants to stay over again, but I insist I will not die in the night. Then she starts checking all the phones to make sure they work. Unfortunately, the phone lines are down because of the snow or maybe some other reason. I tell her this, but she wants to check them anyway. There is just one freaking phone line, but she thinks if she checks all three receivers, she'll get a different result. I hear her calling from upstairs, "Do you hear my cellphone ringing?" No. I ask her if the phone still says No Line. Yes, she says, but one says No Battery, so she's going to try calling her cellphone from that one. Facepalm. After about 30 minutes, she establishes that the landline is down. You can call my cellphone, you know. She doesn't *trust* my cellphone for some reason. When will you wake up tomorrow, she asks. I'll set my alarm for 9:30. Then I'll call you at 9:45. Fine. She's completely freaked out by this point. Are you sure you can use your phone and set an alarm? I think you should go now before the roads freeze.

 

And we get to spend the whole day together tomorrow. I am considering a temporary reprieve on my no-alcohol policy to have a martini after I get my Botox injections at the neuro.

<end> #rant #thatisall

[[gr...]]

I have a friend who came off benzos and suffered with chronic pain.

 

She has been on an elimination diet for awhile and her pain is pretty much gone.

 

http://www.wholelifenutrition.net/id16.html  here is a link about the diet.

 

Here is something else she found on tinnitus

 

http://www.msgtruth.org/tinnitus.htm

 

it's a good site to check out.  Whether on benzos or not,  I think all of this research does have some merit.

 

 

 

that's great...hoping for the same here.

 

Thanks for your post

 

Robb

 

Hi Robb

You can read the success story I posted here

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44666.0

to see how it's gone for me with the muscle pain/polymyalgia rheumatica and how diet has helped me.

GG

[[su...]]

Hey Robb,

 

Since my post is now missing about the HPA Axis, Benzos, and Fibromyalgia...here are the links again and a new article I found regarding this:

 

 

 

studies have demonstrated that classical benzodiazepines decrease hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical cortex (HPA) axis activity

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16125698

 

 

benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms may be partly due to a disinhibition of the HPA system during discontinuation of benzodiazepines.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15219633

 

 

fibromyalgia patients have an imbalance of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis

 

http://www.ei-resource.org/articles/fibromyalgia-articles/causes-and-treatment-of-fibromyalgia/

 

 

 

Recap: Benzos and benzo w/d suppress the HPA Axis---Fibromyalgia is thought to be caused by HPA Axis dysfunction.

 

Thanks!!!  I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  This is more good information to present to my doctor.   

 

[[Pe...]]

Here is some more info on this subject, which I have also forwarded to officials working on the benzo problem in the UK:

 

COMMON MISDIAGNOSES’S IN PEOPLE ON BENZODIAZEPINES

 

One noteworthy trend I noticed regarding this subject concerns common misdiagnosis’s of persons on benzodiazepines, which include: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and BiPolar Disorder.  As you will see from the links I provided below, these three diagnosis’s share a commonality with benzodiazepine usage, that being irregularities in the HPA Axis.

 

http://psy.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/49/5/450

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3195783/?tool=pubmed

 

http://content.karger.com/produktedb/produkte.asp?DOI=000104468&typ=pdf

 

http://www.sci.sdsu.edu/classes/psychology/psy860/readings/bipolar.pdf

[[su...]]

Here is some more info on this subject, which I have also forwarded to officials working on the benzo problem in the UK:

 

COMMON MISDIAGNOSES’S IN PEOPLE ON BENZODIAZEPINES

 

One noteworthy trend I noticed regarding this subject concerns common misdiagnosis’s of persons on benzodiazepines, which include: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and BiPolar Disorder.  As you will see from the links I provided below, these three diagnosis’s share a commonality with benzodiazepine usage, that being irregularities in the HPA Axis.

 

http://psy.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/49/5/450

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3195783/?tool=pubmed

 

http://content.karger.com/produktedb/produkte.asp?DOI=000104468&typ=pdf

 

http://www.sci.sdsu.edu/classes/psychology/psy860/readings/bipolar.pdf

 

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!  Glad to see you on our side.    Thanks for these links.  And awesome job forwarding the infomation you found to officials!!