Robert's road to recovery from benzodiazepines and Z drugs

[[Fr...]]

Hi Ivan,

 

Thank you for writing to me.  How great to hear from you!  I am so happy that your time in Japan went well.  Your trip home, resulting in the burning sensations, is most likely the post-travel fatigue, as you discovered.  I find that I have that when I am on a long day of driving or in a situation of too much physical stress.  I don't know if the benzos may have weakened our system, making it more vulnerable to 'nerve' pain, or if it is the perils of long post-travel fatigue, or being older, or a combination of all three.  In any case, you will recover, as I have, that we don't have to fear or worry that post symptoms have returned.  I am confident that we are past that, and will reach a full recovery.  You have come a long way Ivan, and so have I.

 

I have always wanted to go to Japan, since I was little.  One of my best friends in school was half Japanese, her Dad a GI in Japan, and her Mom, a Japanese college student.  Her home was full of the Japanese culture, a feast for my young 'small town' eyes.  My great Uncle died on Mt. Fuji, when his plane went down, so I am acquainted with it's history, also.  One of my friends today is Japanese, a second generation American, but has many relatives in Japan.  She has told me many things about Japan and of her parents being sent to an internment camp during WWII.

 

There is no understanding why some can drink alcohol after the taper, and others cannot.  I wasn't a drinker, but in the past I may have had a small glass of wine on a special occasion, perhaps a glass or two, a year.  I cannot tolerate it at all now.  I tried a sip once, and had to spit it out.  It was like poison to me.  Perhaps you should wait a little longer before your next attempt.  It surely isn't worth what you will suffer later.

 

How exciting to hear of your further adventures ahead to England, Italy and Paris!  Just remember that you may feel some travel stress, weariness, and the post-travel fatigue again, so be prepared for it.  Take those naps when needed, and know that you will be able to do this, with another jump over the  hurdle in your new found life.  Your wife is probably elated at having you travel with her again.  My husband is always so happy that I am accompanying him now.  I am so happy that you will be able to see your Mum again, also.  That is so important. 

 

Yes, Ivan, we have made tremendous strides in our recovery from benzos, and other drugs that nearly destroyed us.  We have much to be thankful for, and I, like you, hope that others can have hope, when they read of our victories.

 

Take care, and God bless you, always,

Frizz

 

[[ev...]]

Hi Frizz

 

Thanks you very much for your reply. Where are you living these days? I read that you were moving to the west coast. I hope you are prospering in your new environment.

 

As for me, it is now six days since I got home and unfortunately the burning sensations continue. I am pretty much convinced that it is the benzo recovery syndrome again even though it is now 20 months since I became free of the stuff. I still fell immense anger and frustration about what happened to me. As long as I feel strange and have not returned to my physical state pre-psychiatric drugs, I feel I cannot really move on. Moreover, the fact that I have not received an admissioon that mistakes were made fills me with a sense of injustice which I guess will aways be unresolved.

 

 

For me the key is getting well. Then maybe I can let it lie so to speak.

 

I have tried to get attention to this problem and maybe I have saved someone somewhere from the scourge of these drugs but as long as "learned", arrogant psychiatrists with letters after their names and titles in front of them continue in cahoots with pharmaceutical companies to peddle these drugs I fear that not much will change.

 

Here one of them has been named Australian of the Year and the government is applauded for making a commitment to mentla health which probably means even more drugs being inflicted on even more unsusppecting souls.

 

Well enough of the rant. I can now live a life unlike three years ago and I should and indeed am thankful for that.

 

If you have got time please reply, I'd love to know how you are going.

 

Best wishes

 

Ivan

 

 

[[ev...]]

Hi to anyone reading this,

 

I have just had a quick glimpse at my post from earlier in the day. It seems to me it is too negative and I want to be positive for people reading this thread to find encouragement. Therefore I will say something more encouraging this time. If you want to use me as some sort of benchmark, you can feel that people do recover. As Prof Ashton has concluded from her trials, the vast majority of those exposed to benzos do get better. The really big improvement in my case has been the return of sleep; I now sleep around six hours a night and I don't feel completely overwhelmed in the evening like I did this time last year. There are aching sensations still but sometimes I wonder if I am not over-monitoring my body. I guess this is hardly surprising if I do given the awful impact of all these psychiatric drugs.

 

So I wish anyone reading this the very best. Ivan

[[ev...]]

Hello everyone

 

I am just wondering if anyone has experienced what has been happening to me in the last few days. Yet again 4 days ago I drank a very small amount acohol- this time Italian style wine- which is much weaker that standard wine. Yet for the time since I have been aching. Every now and than I try a drink because Professor Ashton regards this as OK for most people who have been on benzos. Now it is 20+ months since my last piece of a Valium tablet. I guess for someone as sensitive as I am to drugs, drinking is like taking a benzodiazepine tablet so I won't do it again. Last time it took me over a week to get back to what has been normal for me which is some aching and some free time. I am hoping this will happen again after a few more days. Interestingly I am still sleeping OK so the wine has not made much differenc eto that part of my recovery.

 

Anyway if anyone has experienced something similar please post about your situation.

 

Best of luck to everyone reading this.

 

Ivan

 

 

[[st...]]

Hi Ivan,

 

I haven't attempted to drink alcohol but I have read numerous posts stating that doing so really revved up their symptoms. 

 

It is not unusual to continue to get hit with waves at the 20 month mark.  I see you are slowly improving and I think you will find some good healing in the next year.

 

Patty  xo

[Guest [...]]

hey Ivan

 

so glad to read your story and I to am from Australia and was given a variety of drugs for reasons that I shouldnt have been given.  Im glad you are healing i have spent 10 weeks out of the last ten months in hospital given my horrific reaction to psych meds and benzos.  Its truly been so traumatic im slowly recovering.  Have only been off 2 1/2 weeks.  When i was given antiphyschotics i felt psychotic do you know if they can cause permanent damage mentally.  I hope im in benzo withdrawal but think but to the serious adverse affects i had when i was on them and cringe to think i could have been permanently mentally damaged by these drugs.

 

thanks when you can get back to me

 

Lizzy

[[ev...]]

Hello stoneyco

 

Thanks for posting on my thread. It is now 6 days since I drank the wine. After about 4 I started to feel better but I am having an up and down time now. I find if I go and do manual work (I cleaned the gutters yesterday) I feel rotten the next day. My wife says this is age. I am nearly 62 but this burning stuff was something I never felt before benzos. You are probably right when you say things should continue to improve. Best of luck on your own journey. One thing is for sure I will not be drinking alcohlic beverages anytime soon.

 

 

Ivan

[[ev...]]

Hi everyone

 

Just a bit of an update on where I am at now.

 

It is 20 months plus since my last fragment of Valium.

 

On a number of ocasions I have felt normal and thought: "Terrific this is now all over." But then symptoms have returned. At times I have been bewildered by this. I ask myself: "How could I have been feeling so well MONTHS ago but today I have jolting, burning sensations?' But the answer lies in what I have read that this is not a linear recovery I am going through.

 

So I keep plodding on hoping for the eventual disappearance of the effects of the drugs I took.

 

In the meantime I have tried really hard to raise awareness about psychiatric drugs. I have had letters-to-the-editor published on a range of issues associated with psychiatric treatment but i could not persuade the Health editor at the paper to run a series of articles about psychiatric drugs. I wrote a letter to Andrew Wilkie, an Independent MP in this country but received no reply. I sent another email to a current afairs programme, 4 Corners. A member of the editorial staff replied thanking me for my letter and the effort I had put in but nothing came of that either.

 

However, I have had my story published on the Australian Patients Association website. My latest venture is to rewrite that story adding links to articles and videos about psychiatric drugs which I found from a variety of sources including the benzos in the news section of this site. This updated version is going to appear on the Utopia Research Institute's site. This organisation is trying hard to publicise concerns about psychiatric drugs. This is what appears at the bottomof its home page:

 

“Psychiatry is not a science”

 

It never has been and never will be. The DSM, allied Psychiatry and the Pharmaceutical Industry have created a symphony of ‘new’ diseases and corresponding drug treatments that have paid off well. For over two decades thousands of researchers and reporters have been unmasking Pharmaceutical drugging and exposing the entrenched political lobbing and marketing circus of this money-making machine, yet more…much more, needs to be done to stop the ‘legal drugging’ of our children.

 

So I am keeping going and am hopeful that eventually I will get better. But it is frustrating to continue to have to put up with symptoms after so much effort to get well. So to everyone reading this I wish you luck. Just remember that these drugs have gone through our systems. We cannot reverse that. But what we can do is do our very best to make the most of the rest of our lives.

 

 

Bye for now

 

Ivan

[[st...]]

HI Ivan,

 

Thank you for raising awareness to the psychiatric drugs.  I am amazed how easily SSRI's are doled out to the young generation.  My grandson's 2 friends have been on Paxil for well over a year and they seemed fairly well adjusted prior to the meds.

 

I, too, have been "bewildered" by this whole benzo process.  My left foot started burning quite intensely the past week or so after only having very mild burning feelings when in a wave.  There is no sense of us trying to figure out when we will heal or what will happen next.  Seems we just have to keep thinking positive thoughts and try to live our lives the best we can until true healing......and IMO, it WILL happen.

 

Patty  xo

[[Ca...]]

It will Stoney....it will!

 

-CL

[[ev...]]

Hi Patti and CL

 

Thanks for your replies. I hope you are both on the road to eventual recovery. I have had an upand down couple of wekks but have been able to live a mostly normal life. The last couple of days ahve been like it was for me before my nightmare with psychiatric drugs.

 

Bye

 

Ivan

[[st...]]

Ivan, I hope the window is still open.  I have been in another stupid wave again and hoping for a window real soon.  I have noticed the waves aren't as long as they used to be.  We're about the same age and I do agree that when I exert myself the symptoms pop up the next day or two. 

 

Patty  xo

[[ev...]]

Hi Patty

 

It is good that you are having windows. This is very encouraging. I hung on to those as my health gradually recovered. My last couple of weeks have been pretty good which for me is very important as I am travelling to Liverpool in England from Australia next Monday. I am excited about seeing my relatives and friends for the first time in 6 years. However, I am daunted and nervous about the trip itself with the hours on the plane and the big time change.

 

Now that I have absolutely decided not to try to signify my return to normality by drinking wine or beer, I am not having the unpleasant sensations which followed. My wife and friends are social drinkers but I just say now I don't drink even a sip.

 

So there it is for the time being. I have made it back to something like my former self after a truly appalling experience which lasted a number of years. I sometimes wish I could get that time back but I know life is not like that and I must go on whilst learning from what happened.

 

Best wishes

 

Ivan

[[st...]]

Ivan, I so understand about wishing we could have the few past years back.  We have missed so much. 

 

I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip to see the family.  Six years is a long time.  I am sure you will do fine on the plane.....just remain calm and do your breathing techniques if anxiety arises.  Hopefully, the time change won't affect you too badly.  Yes, and no wine. 

 

Looking forward to your tales of the trip.

 

Patty  xo

[[ev...]]

Thanks Patty for your kind words. Ivan