Chat Room

[[Ma...]]

anyone out there?  could use a BB right now  :'(

[Guest [Si...]]

anyone out there?  could use a BB right now  :'(

 

What's wrong Mark?

 

I felt like I was going to lose it earlier.......

 

You will get through this.

 

Mark, did you ever change your dosing hours?

[[Ma...]]

sig, sorry I was outside pacing again..

 

yes I changed my dosing hours and the number of doses per day when I began my titration.  I used to only dose twice a day, I changed that to 3 times a day. I also changed my night time dose by 3 hours.  I did this the same time I switched over from tablets to the milk/klonopin mixture (for titration) .  It didn't bother me at all.  All I had was the initial SLIGHT ramp up of sx's from switching to the milk mixture...it lasted for a week or so.

[[Wh...]]

Hey Mark ... what's going on?

[[Ma...]]

hey whoops....just going through a bad panic attack (WD).. have been having some awesome windows, and a little bit ago this came on soooo out of the blue..was sitting here watching TV and BOOM...I feel like Im comming down some now though, but damn it was intense again.  Just took the wind out of my sails I guess. Going from feeling really good to this literally within minutes just blew me away ya know?

 

How are you doing today?

[[Wh...]]

Wow Mark ... I never had anything shift that fast for me ... it must be a real shock to your system.  Glad it's calming down again.

 

I was crabby as hell today but I think I got myself sorted out.  Went for long bike ride with my son and grandson tonight and that seemed to lift my spirits quite a bit.  The weather is perfect for that.  I did fall but I'm okay with that ... ordinary, understandable pain I can easily accept.  It's just nice when polysporin and bandaid's can be the fix you need. 

[[Ma...]]

Whoopsie, for me it almost always starts with that feeling of not getting enough oxygen when breathing. This first happened to me when I jumped.  Then that starts the ball rolling in my head VERY fast, and before you know it Im in another panic attack within minutes.  I am def coming down now. But its just so disheartening after such a good day. 

 

Ouch I am sorry you fell hun!! I hope you didnt get hurt badly?

 

I really miss talking to you whoops...you guys ALWAYS helped me during these freakin attacks. Not having the chat room just sucks

Hopefully it will be back soon. 

[[Su...]]

Glad you are feeling better Mark.  Panic attacks are awful.  

 

Whoopsie.....did you remove those training wheels ?  

[[Wh...]]

I feel the same way about missing chat Mark and it's great to be there ready and willing to offer support when I'm up to it as well.

 

I have never had a panic attack ... sounds so awful ... I am lucky in alot of ways really.  No tinnitus or GI problems for me either.

 

You know how those bike falls go ... the pain fades away quickly.  We came up to a curb to get onto the next path and my son says "You can jump that Mom!!!"  Ya sure ... I jumped it alright.    My grandson took a fall too so we played nurse when we got home.  Seriously I like it when things make sense like that ... you fall ... you get hurt ... you get up ... you keep going.  This benzo fall is a whole other animal ya know.  I'm fine and will mend in no time.

 

Did you have panic attacks before you went on benzo's is that why you took them?

[[Wh...]]

Hi Sunny ... you funny!!!  I've missed you. 

[[Ma...]]

whoopsie,

 

The first time I ever had panic attacks was 4 days after I jumped off the klonopin.  Never had them before ...ever.  The reason I went on klono was for just run of the mill general anxiety.   My post-benzo anxiety makes my pre-benzo anxiety look laughable.  This is much much more intense than I have ever had, so that tells me it's from the withdrawal.

[[Su...]]

Hey Whoopsie......do you have a blog ?  I don't.

 

I was reading your reply to Mark about the strange smells.  What I smell is like chemical.    I smelled the burning smell after the C/T.  Fast forward.....  New clothing smells awful to me, along with detergents, hair products, cleaners.  I made the mistake of sniffing raw coffee, and now I hate the smell of it.  This has been going on since last Nov, and I was getting low in my taper. Now I am over 5 months off, and still smelling this crud.

 

Wonder how long this will last ?

[[Wh...]]

whoopsie,

 

The first time I ever had panic attacks was 4 days after I jumped off the klonopin.  Never had them before ...ever.  The reason I went on klono was for just run of the mill general anxiety.   My post-benzo anxiety makes my pre-benzo anxiety look laughable.  This is much much more intense than I have ever had, so that tells me it's from the withdrawal.

 

Oh how I wish doctors would read posts like this to get it thru their heads that they are not doing any favors to people by prescribing benzo's.    I am totally clear that those attacks are caused by w/d and Mark I sure hope that this doesn't last long for you.  Makes me so mad.

[[Wh...]]

Hey Whoopsie......do you have a blog ?  I don't.

 

I was reading your reply to Mark about the strange smells.  What I smell is like chemical.    I smelled the burning smell after the C/T.  Fast forward.....  New clothing smells awful to me, along with detergents, hair products, cleaners.  I made the mistake of sniffing raw coffee, and now I hate the smell of it.  This has been going on since last Nov, and I was getting low in my taper. Now I am over 5 months off, and still smelling this crud.

 

Wonder how long this will last ?

 

Hi Sunny Marge ... no I don't have a blog either.  I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to sustain one cuz I go thru these periods where it's hard for me to talk.  If I disappear, which I would quite regularly, I wouldn't want people to worry when I'm not able to reply.  I kind of have an exaggerated sense of responsibility I think.  What holds you back?

 

Jeepers ... you've been smelling stuff since November?  Just no rhyme or reason to these symptoms are there?

[[Ma...]]

Thank you whoops.. 

Im feelin pretty good again now   ...it is SOOOOO odd , the ups and down of this.  Since it's not constant (the anxiety and panic)  like it was just a few weeks ago. I am hoping thats a good sign, that maybe I am coming out of it.

[[Wh...]]

Yup I think it's a very good sign Mark.    Does everything hit at once for you ... like it's either intense suffering or no suffering?  What I'm asking is if there are any s/x's that are constant even when you aren't having a panic attack?

[[Ma...]]

yeah I still have a ton of constant sx's

 

Muscle twitching, muscle tightness, smells, blurry vision, vibrating stomach...a bunch of stuff...but its the mental stuff that really gets me. The physical symptoms I can deal with.

 

What about you?  do you have any physical or mental stuff that is constant?

[[Su...]]

It would make me nervous to have a blog, I think.     I would feel pressured to answer everyone who visited.

 

You have been drug free for a while....so have many of your symptoms left ?  I hope so.

 

The smell thing kind of worries me.  What if this never goes away ?    I should let him poke me in the nose a few times to correct it.  

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Sunny I started having the weird smells a few nights back. I made a post about it in my blog a few nights ago as well.  I smell electrical burning smell, citrus...etc etc just to name a few.  It's so very weird isn't it?  

 

A lot of my sx have left, yes...some have just gotten less intense..It seems as soon as one goes away, it gets replaced by a new one.  At first for me, almost EVERYTHING was physical, then it shifted to mostly mental. Now its pretty much an even mix of the two I guess.

[Guest [Si...]]

sig, sorry I was outside pacing again..

 

yes I changed my dosing hours and the number of doses per day when I began my titration.  I used to only dose twice a day, I changed that to 3 times a day. I also changed my night time dose by 3 hours.  I did this the same time I switched over from tablets to the milk/klonopin mixture (for titration) .  It didn't bother me at all.  All I had was the initial SLIGHT ramp up of sx's from switching to the milk mixture...it lasted for a week or so.

 

Mark,

 

Thanks.

I don't think it's really possible to taper without some changes along the way.

 

How are you feeling now?

I'm still anxious a bit, and wide awake even after 15mg of valium, but I slept for a while today.. woke up in a fog.

 

[[Ma...]]

Thanks for asking man...

I am back to my baseline now.  The panic is gone.. not really in a window like I was today of course, but just back to my normal baseline of withdrawal.  Feeling pretty tired now after that panic attack.  When I have a intense one it always wears me out..I feel almost hungover afterwards, But sleep is pretty good afterwards too....kinda strange

[[Ma...]]

have u already changed your dosing times sig, or just thinking about it?

Either way I think you will be fine man..

[[Su...]]

The electrical burning smell was horrible.  Smelled that crud after the c/t....for a few months.  Everything has been stinking like chemicals, since Nov....this time.  Maybe titrating my drug and drinking it, caused this.  I remember tasting that awful stuff, and it tasted weird like chemicals.   Citrus would be nice !    

 

Do you feel okay, most of the time ?   Seems like symptoms cycle for me.

[[Ju...]]

Jumping into chat here. I want to change my dosing. I sleep all day and stay up at night because I feel less anxiety that way. Now that I'm in tolerance, I want to change that because I want to be around people...Plus, I've had the same schedule for a few years now and want to get that normal at least.

 

I take my doses at 4 pm, 8 pm, 12 pm and 5:30 am. Did you back doses up Mark, or did you have to move them forward?

[[Ma...]]

The electrical burning smell was horrible.  Smelled that crud after the c/t....for a few months.  Everything has been stinking like chemicals, since Nov....this time.  Maybe titrating my drug and drinking it, caused this.  I remember tasting that awful stuff, and it tasted weird like chemicals.   Citrus would be nice !    

 

Do you feel okay, most of the time ?   Seems like symptoms cycle for me.

 

Thats weird if there is a connection to titration. I titrated as well....

 

I feel like crud most of the time to be honest lol...I've had a good week this week with my windows. This is the best week I've had in a long long time.  

 

As for the panic attacks, I do feel better in that area as well. For a couple of weeks I was getting them ALL DAY LONG...back to back. That was beyond horrible.  

 

What is your worst symptom right now?