Depressing withdrawal... How to survive with no schedule?

[[El...]]

Hi buddies,

Feeling quite empty and hopeless today. I am benzos free since the 16th of September, weeks have been terrible in terms of symptoms, except for 2 or 3 moments where they seemed to be alleviated. Real windows or not, I don't really know, maybe just the natural healing process... This week-end was a little bit better: mitigate for Saturday, much less symptoms on Sunday and pretty bad today...

The fact is that I've been surfing BB site since, and what I saw is quite discouraging... All the people here to testify mention withdrawals covering whole years, not only months! Are there anybody there feeling better in a few months - not necessarily healed, but just better and able to function in everyday life??

I do not see me bearing this ordeal during six, twelve or 18 months... Just simply because I will not be able to. My mind will succumb before the end.

Edited Monday at 16:46 by [El...]

[[Re...]]

2 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Hi buddies,

Feeling quite empty and hopeless today. I am benzos free since the 16th of September, weeks have been terrible in terms of symptoms, except for 2 or 3 moments where they seemed to be alleviated. Real windows or not, I don't really know, maybe just the natural healing process... This week-end was a little bit better: mitigate for Saturday, much less symptoms on Sunday and pretty bad today...

The fact is that I've been surfing BB site since, and what I saw is quite discouraging... All the people here to testify mention withdrawals covering whole years, not only months! Are there anybody there feeling better in a few months - not necessarily healed, but just better and able to function in everyday life??

I do not see me bearing this ordeal during six, twelve or 18 months... Just simply because I will not be able to. My mind will succumb before the end.

People heal at different paces. Some people report feeling better after a few months, while others take longer. You can only focus on one day at a time or one hour at a time. You really do not know how long it will take to heal and it could depend on a number of factors: underlying health conditions, time on the drugs, amount of drug, rate of taper, age, polydrugging, etc. If you try to make sense of this, you will drive yourself nuts. Best to just stay in your own experience and focus on yourself and your healing. And limit what energy you take in.

[[PE...]]

Yes!

I'm 11 months benzo free and fine except insomnia. 

Also remember most that are healed have better things to do then be on bb!

Take care.

[[El...]]

20 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Yes!

I'm 11 months benzo free and fine except insomnia. 

Also remember most that are healed have better things to do then be on bb!

Take care.

Yes Pepe, you're totally right! I read you had issues with sleep before benzos, if I'm not mistaken. Do you know where it comes from? I will taper mirtazapine in a few weeks, and I am really worried about the sleep issues I may undergo.

[[PE...]]

6 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

Yes Pepe, you're totally right! I read you had issues with sleep before benzos, if I'm not mistaken. Do you know where it comes from? I will taper mirtazapine in a few weeks, and I am really worried about the sleep issues I may undergo.

Yes i had it for years but in waves now it's all the time. 

I don't know why falling asleep is such a issue for me. 

I would wait with tapering ADs until healed from benzo wd.

☺️

[[...]]

I cant, it depends on the level of suffering/functioning. I'm about to give up 

[[El...]]

[[Cu...]]

10 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Hi buddies,

Feeling quite empty and hopeless today. I am benzos free since the 16th of September, weeks have been terrible in terms of symptoms, except for 2 or 3 moments where they seemed to be alleviated. Real windows or not, I don't really know, maybe just the natural healing process... This week-end was a little bit better: mitigate for Saturday, much less symptoms on Sunday and pretty bad today...

The fact is that I've been surfing BB site since, and what I saw is quite discouraging... All the people here to testify mention withdrawals covering whole years, not only months! Are there anybody there feeling better in a few months - not necessarily healed, but just better and able to function in everyday life??

I do not see me bearing this ordeal during six, twelve or 18 months... Just simply because I will not be able to. My mind will succumb before the end.

Elena, if I may ask, what Benzo and how much were you on? I used Xanax lightly for 3 months. I feel like crap, 90% of the time. I pray, and I just did for you, that you get through this. 

[[El...]]

5 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Elena, if I may ask, what Benzo and how much were you on? I used Xanax lightly for 3 months. I feel like crap, 90% of the time. I pray, and I just did for you, that you get through this. 

Hi Curtis,

Thanks for asking. I have taken several benzos for more than two years, switched for one to another several times, made many attempts for taper. And then eventually, I had to stop abruptly (half CT) Lysanxia, because I had paradoxical effects! Thanks for your support Curtis! Had you ever taken benzos before those three months?

[[El...]]

Just now, [[E...] said:

Hi Curtis,

Thanks for asking. I have taken several benzos for more than two years, switched for one to another several times, made many attempts for taper. And then eventually, I had to stop abruptly (half CT) Lysanxia, because I had paradoxical effects! Thanks for your support Curtis! Had you ever taken benzos before those three months?

And the doses were not very high.

[[Cu...]]

5 hours ago, [[E...] said:

And the doses were not very high.

Never. I’m 60 and was doing fine. My anxiety came out of nowhere. A job project I was working on had a few hiccups and I developed this crazy anxiety. My pcp put me on Lexapro and Xanax. I knew nothing about the drugs. 5 months later I’m now on Mirtazapine 15mg. I took .12 zan 6 days ago and .12 a week before that. I had to take the edge off. I cut my .5 pill in 4 pieces. 

[[...]]

16 hours ago, [[E...] said:

As you see, we are in the same boat! Hang in there!

Are you housebound non functioning?

[[El...]]

Edited 17 hours ago by [El...]

[[El...]]

2 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Never. I’m 60 and was doing fine. My anxiety came out of nowhere. A job project I was working on had a few hiccups and I developed this crazy anxiety. My pcp put me on Lexapro and Xanax. I knew nothing about the drugs. 5 months later I’m now on Mirtazapine 15mg. I took .12 zan 6 days ago and .12 a week before that. I had to take the edge off. I cut my .5 pill in 4 pieces. 

Yes, pretty hard to undergo. But I dear to think that as you didn't take them for too long, withdrawal should not be too long!

Edited 17 hours ago by [El...]

[[...]]

55 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

Absolutely, unfortunately... Housebound and bedridden most of the time, unable to function. When I feel a little bit better, which is still extremely rare, I barely manage to clean my baby's bottles. I am unable to go out because of the intense psychic and physical symptoms I have, and I have been in work stoppage for almost three complete years (middle of 2021 was not the beginning of my withdrawal, but the beginning of my problems with meds)... So you see... For how long have you been in this terrible state?

I've been destroyed since a single dose i took 11 months ago after finishing a slow taper with barely no symptoms. It triggered severe withdrawl hours after taking it and i lost everything 

[[On...]]

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel as badly as you do after one dose @[...].  Are you able to try to get any sort of exercising done?  I don't mean anything strenuous.  Something as simple as taking a walk for a few minutes outside would suffice.  Exercise has helped me tremendously in this process.  

[[...]]

28 minutes ago, [[O...] said:

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel as badly as you do after one dose @[...].  Are you able to try to get any sort of exercising done?  I don't mean anything strenuous.  Something as simple as taking a walk for a few minutes outside would suffice.  Exercise has helped me tremendously in this process.  

Not at all, my legs are like two cement blocks pulled down by gravity if i stand for seconds, it crushes knee bones, feet became deformed and heels are already irreversibly damaged from standing for seconds to go to the  bathroom and similar. Each step is like they're stilts thrown forward and separate from the body walking like a brain damage patient. I was normal before and used to walk long distances everyday 

[[On...]]

One option you may be able to look into considering your difficulty with movement is physical therapy.  Becoming bed-bound seems to make withdrawals considerably worse, so physical therapy could be an avenue to at least help maintain some strength/flexibility.

[[El...]]

Edited 13 hours ago by [El...]

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[O...] said:

One option you may be able to look into considering your difficulty with movement is physical therapy.  Becoming bed-bound seems to make withdrawals considerably worse, so physical therapy could be an avenue to at least help maintain some strength/flexibility.

I'm not bedbound, not possible with what i"m having. Also not possible to leave the house, let alone talk to people, be touched and all the normal things. Physical therapy doesnt help neurological issues and a fragile CNS injured by drugs, it often makes it worse as seen on the benzo groups for years. I stupidly went to an osteopath only for neck tension in the beginning of this when i could still get out of the house and it worsened all the issues, got out of there more tense in the whole body and it all followed, i believe i"m now worse because of that. The nervous system was to fragile and couldnt handle it but i was ignorant enough 

[[...]]

27 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

I really can imagine the major impact of one single dose, as I went through lots of similar issues. When you've gotten gradually unaccustomed to a drug by tapering slowly as you did, if you reinstate it even once, it can make like a tsunami in your body, since your body considers it like an intruder. And it begins to struggle very actively in order to restore the balance. For how long have you been enduring this terrible withdrawal?

I"m glad you understand and know how these things go, people usually cant believe how a dose can kindle severly and i"m often gaslighted when explaining what happened. Like i said its been 11 months since this started, i was normally living life before and progressively feeling better after the  taper. Can i ask if you have any idea if reinstating is a thing to even consider in a case like this? I asked everywhere but no one really knew, still think about it everyday but terrified of even worse. The dose didnt trigger withdrawl right away but hours later 

[[El...]]

[[...]]

25 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

Sorry, I had not wholly understood. I thought you had slowly tapered and had reinstated for one dose after being benzo free for 11 months (or made a slow taper during 11 months?)

Given the horrific effects you obtained by reinstating one unique dose, I could'nt advise you to reinstate. That does not mean that this is not the solution. Could any buddy help us here? 

I finished the taper 13 months ago, the dose that caused issues was 11 months ago, and because i didnt know it was the benzo causing it i took another dose out of desperation 2 months after the first one. It eased things for hours and then all much worse like another CT adding another layer of injury, thats when i knew 

Thanks for your input. I asked in this site too but no one really knows. Sorry for flooding your own tópic with my issues 

[[El...]]

Edited 11 hours ago by [El...]

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[E...] said:

Don't worry Agua, we are really in the same boat, all buddies here. I wish each person could find a medical advise in front of what could be a life challenge, since we deserve it. That's true, nobody forced us to take those poisons, but nobody forced them to prescribe us either: as the ones "who know", they have responsabilities... That's because they deny it that we have to go through this hellish medical masquerade...

Yes, at least an answer, a prognosis, anything, but theres none