Fatigue, what is normal anymore?

[[ry...]]

I try to be positive and almost feel bad venting because overall I actually feel I’m in a relatively good position 13 months off a cold turkey from 10 years of being prescribed benzo’s. But I have to vent. Everyday I say that tomorrow is the day I get back to real life. And it just doesn’t happen. I no longer feel I’m dying and I’m not uncomfortable anymore which is great! For the first 9 months or so I literally laid in the fetal position and could not move or sleep and felt as if I was being tortured with the symptoms we all experience. This summer I actually was pretty present and drive a little and had a few dinners out with a friend or two and some other activities.But I’m still basically bed ridden with the worst fatigue, breathing issues, and just overall body and muscle heaviness and coordination problems. I used to be extremely active and fit and all I want to do is workout and then get back to having a job again. But then night time weird things happen before I sleep, I feel like crap for probably the first 4 hours I wake and just lay, my heart feels like it’s being squeezed. Then things get slightly better, then back down and I just mindlessly lay and watch sports all day. It’s a fatigue that is completely indescribable. And I can’t walk in a straight line let alone do something physical. I feel like if I was to exert myself I would collapse from a heart attack after one step. What is this crap and does it leave? Is this my new baseline? Any suggestions or like experiences? Again I feel bad for complaining because people are so much worse but life is just passing by it it’s so frustrating! I just had to vent and rant I’m so sorry!

[[Bu...]]

Hi @[ry...]! I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Extreme fatigue doea appear to be a symtom of wd. I know how you feel. My last dose was a year ago but i was tapering 3 1/2 years. The fatigue was overwhelming, just as you describe. I thought something was severely wrong. Nope, just wd. What i want to say is it will go away. Mine did. Take care.

Lisa

[[Ma...]]

You mean a soul sucking fatigue that is utterly life destroying? Yes and it’s normal. Jennifer Leigh has a blog post on her site about it.

The only thing any of us can do is surrender to the process and listen to your body. There is nothing you can do to speed this up.

Try to be mindful and stay in the moment, 1 day at a time. Just 1 day at the time. Make it a mantra so your mind doesn’t wander. And 1 day you won’t remember any of this-you’ll be LIVING!