Must I talk to people??

[[Bu...]]

I know some folks force themselves to talk to people when they go out. Personally, I rarely leave my house; I'm too terrified. Yesterday, I went on my front steps just to get a parcel and found myself talking to a really pleasant guy for about 1/2 an hour. Regardless, I'm so frazzled about it, so triggered, it's hard to calm down. 

Do others feel this way??? It's hard to believe I'll ever be normal again. 

[[Jo...]]

I get like that too, anxious, triggered and so overwhelmed after the conversation 😫 but only with people I find hard to converse with, which is a lot of people lol. I’m still tapering lorazepam and getting close to the finish line and also hope it goes away too. 
Hope you feel better soon 😊

[[Bu...]]

Thanks, Jonty. Yep, life's tough now. I just can't deal with anyone. Take care!

[[Es...]]

@[Bu...]

No, you don't have to talk to people. I'm also usually too shy and anxious to talk to people, especially those I like (the Guards in my apartment building). But sometimes we do talk a lot. I rarely leave home as well. But it feels nice having talked to someone, hasn't it? Others are also insecure. I prefer talking to men, cause at least I can use my charm and make eye contact. How about beginning with a guy? You already had a good start with that nabe. I'll be trying as well, to keep you company. Let's make it our little exposure therapy challenge and maybe report our achievements in this topic🤍

[[Bu...]]

Thanks, Estee!!

[[Es...]]

@[Bu...]

You're welcome, sweetie 

[[Th...]]

21 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I know some folks force themselves to talk to people when they go out. Personally, I rarely leave my house; I'm too terrified. Yesterday, I went on my front steps just to get a parcel and found myself talking to a really pleasant guy for about 1/2 an hour. Regardless, I'm so frazzled about it, so triggered, it's hard to calm down. 

Do others feel this way??? It's hard to believe I'll ever be normal again. 

What about it is hard, specifically? I struggle with people too. I feel like their personalities are too overwhelming for me and that mine isn’t strong enough. I start to fawn and panic. It’s not like that all the time though.

[[Th...]]

20 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I get like that too, anxious, triggered and so overwhelmed after the conversation 😫 but only with people I find hard to converse with, which is a lot of people lol. I’m still tapering lorazepam and getting close to the finish line and also hope it goes away too. 
Hope you feel better soon 😊

I find it overwhelming too. What’s overwhelming about it for you?

[[Jo...]]

14 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I find it overwhelming too. What’s overwhelming about it for you?

I find that certain people that I have to talk with that I think  to be superior to me in some way is that I’m being judged by them and I second guess everything I say and do, puts so much pressure on myself and I get overwhelmed, lack of confidence on my part 😫

 

Edited September 21 by [Jo...]

[[Bu...]]

3 hours ago, [[T...] said:

What about it is hard, specifically? I struggle with people too. I feel like their personalities are too overwhelming for me and that mine isn’t strong enough. I start to fawn and panic. It’s not like that all the time though.

Everything! I'm scared of people and easily triggered. It doesn't take much.

[[Ta...]]

On 19/09/2024 at 07:20, [[B...] said:

I know some folks force themselves to talk to people when they go out. Personally, I rarely leave my house; I'm too terrified. Yesterday, I went on my front steps just to get a parcel and found myself talking to a really pleasant guy for about 1/2 an hour. Regardless, I'm so frazzled about it, so triggered, it's hard to calm down. 

Do others feel this way??? It's hard to believe I'll ever be normal again. 

While in the thick of withdrawal the most I could say to anyone is "Where's the jam?" I would never have been able to talk to someone for half an hour!

But, yes it's triggering and emotionally draining. It seems to cycle. Gets a little easier, then back to square one. Little by little, we get better. 🤞

 

[[Th...]]

14 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I find that certain people that I have to talk with that I think  to be superior to me in some way is that I’m being judged by them and I second guess everything I say and do, puts so much pressure on myself and I get overwhelmed, lack of confidence on my part 😫

Sounds like social anxiety. Were you like this before benzos?

[[Th...]]

14 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Everything! I'm scared of people and easily triggered. It doesn't take much.

Were you like this before benzos?

[[Es...]]

@[Bu...]

& Everyone

I guess we shut ourselves in our little (or big) homes and everything outside is not our comfort zone. Scaring us like hell. Up till March 2014, when I was still working in the office, I adored talking to people.

Damn, it was only 10 years ago. I adored listening to them, watching them, their body language. I adored testing my charm on men... yes. I do have serious daddy issues. I would have been my father's little girl today maybe. If mother didn't come between us with all her insane jealousy.

We are just NOT USED TO TALKING TO PEOPLE. IT IS A SOCIAL SKILL, folks. We lost it. And it would make our life richer, more exciting.

We love talking to each other here on the site. What's the difference? We cannot "only" see our faces. What if @[Co...] introduced video chats? How many of you would be in? I was in a BZD WD group where they actually had Zoom meetings.

I never participated in one🤦🏼‍♀️ I never looked "good enough". I never cared to make myself look "good enough". It was a full avoidance strategy. That would be so close to talking to people in reality. Each time I talk to my therapist on Skype, I'm so happy. I get rosy cheeks. He knows people scare me, so I'm not scared of him. Each time I talk to him in person, I get euphoric. Same with my pdoc.

But it involves all the job of making myself look "perfect", cause people cannot see me otherwise... Husband used to see me less than perfect so many times. And he still loved me. But I was programmed by Parents for PERFECTION. So unreal and tragic. Since I cannot meet my perfectionist standards, then what's the point? I'll tell you what, folks.

GOOD ENOUGH IS PERFECT. 

Oh, I got tired from all this rambling. I guess if @[Co...] introduces Zoom meetings, then I'm in🤍

Edited September 21 by [Es...]

[[Es...]]

14 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

Were you like this before benzos?

I was. I was diagnosed with social anxiety by a psychiatry professor. I know you weren't asking me, but I find it an important point.

[[Jo...]]

8 hours ago, [[T...] said:

Sounds like social anxiety. Were you like this before benzos?

Yes, but it got worse with the benzos for sure, I can hold short conversations now with people I feel comfortable with.

[[Th...]]

34 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Yes, but it got worse with the benzos for sure, I can hold short conversations now with people I feel comfortable with.

It will get easier