5 months off, extremely emotionally fragile - normal or not?

[[Br...]]

Hi. I'm over 5 months off benzos. I was ať detox at hospital, found this site only after I had withdrawal symptoms they didn't tell me about like not feeling anything. That has passed. 

I still have anxiety often and I just had a depressive episode for 6 weeks. But what worries me the most is that I basically don't have the capacity to handle almost any stress. When something stressful happens, I melt down crying and feeling like I should be dead, it's a horrible feeling. And I have to live very carefully and avoid most things. 

Is it a part of protracted withdrawal? Does anyone else experience this too? This almost non-existent capaxity for stress? This feeling that you are very fragile and breakable and afraid to do anything that could break you? 

I had loads of mental health problems before and Im autistic, so I not sure what are my mental health problems and what is the withdrawal. Please tell me its the withdrawal and it will pass... I cant live like that. 

Thanks! 

Edited September 17 by [Br...]

[[Es...]]

@[Br...]

I'm still tapering diazepam, but I completed several tapers before. I can so relate to what you wrote. I cannot handle any stress either. My coping mechanism has become talking to people or interacting here instead of taking a pill. Or working. I can lose myself totally in work, till I'm totally exhausted and cannot feel anything anymore.

I used to starve myself to numb the feelings. But with my present med cocktail that does not work. Pdoc made sure I'm chemically compelled to eat and hold the food. 

During my times off benzos, I was like this as well. Otherwise, I wouldn't go back to that poison. There are many natural techniques that help to calm such an overreactive nervous system, like deep breathing. They often teach you the deep breathing methods on YouTube. Just google it. And mindfulness. Being present here and now. I know easier said than done. While sitting here and writing I keep stressing over my unmade translations or tasks at home. I'm always stressed over something. 

Pets help to relax a lot. For some reason my Kitty isn't in the room with me now, and that makes me anxious.

Just my few cents.

Hang around here. It will get better❤️

Paula

[[Ab...]]

Hi @[Br...]

I think having a super low stress tolerance is very normal for WD.

Prior to my benzo WD I had a super high tolerance to stress which I absolutely abused, rush rush rush, go go go go busy and always running around never stopping or resting. I used Cortisol as petrol and as energy source.

I am now in month 4 of my WD and my stress response is through the floor, the smallest things overwhelm me. I am functioning as an adult day to day stuff but finding everything harder and I am crying a lot. it is a lot better from month 3 to month 4 and I hoping it will get better moving forward as we heal. But I do think that this is a really important life lesson for me on how to look after myself moving forward.

We have to slowly teach our nervous systems to tolerate stress again, and find that regulation. some of the things I am doing - Meditation, Gentle Breathwork, Self Hypnosis, Yoga, Walks, Humming for Vagal Tone. Journaling. Somatic Exercises. For me I need my nervous system to calm down as one of my most persistent symptoms is being stuck in fight or flight response and an internal constant thudding / fluttering. So i have to learn to calm down before i can learn to excite it again.

[[Ch...]]

4 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I'm over 5 months off benzos.

 

4 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I still have anxiety often and I just had a depressive episode for 6 weeks. But what worries me the most is that I basically don't have the capacity to handle almost any stress. When something stressful happens, I melt down crying and feeling like I should be dead, it's a horrible feeling. And I have to live very carefully and avoid most things. 

Is it a part of protracted withdrawal?

At only 5 months off benzos, you are still very early in the healing process. Average estimates for significant healing range anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. There is every reason to believe that as the time passes, you will continue to improve.

What you're experiencing now is all a "normal" part of the process. I was 18 months post-taper before I really stopped feeling so fragile in the face of stressors. It's all improved even more from there. TIME is the main healer.

[[Br...]]

16 hours ago, [[A...] said:

Hi @[Br...]

I think having a super low stress tolerance is very normal for WD.

Prior to my benzo WD I had a super high tolerance to stress which I absolutely abused, rush rush rush, go go go go busy and always running around never stopping or resting. I used Cortisol as petrol and as energy source.

I am now in month 4 of my WD and my stress response is through the floor, the smallest things overwhelm me. I am functioning as an adult day to day stuff but finding everything harder and I am crying a lot. it is a lot better from month 3 to month 4 and I hoping it will get better moving forward as we heal. But I do think that this is a really important life lesson for me on how to look after myself moving forward.

We have to slowly teach our nervous systems to tolerate stress again, and find that regulation. some of the things I am doing - Meditation, Gentle Breathwork, Self Hypnosis, Yoga, Walks, Humming for Vagal Tone. Journaling. Somatic Exercises. For me I need my nervous system to calm down as one of my most persistent symptoms is being stuck in fight or flight response and an internal constant thudding / fluttering. So i have to learn to calm down before i can learn to excite it again.

Thank you! I wish I was able to function in the day to day stuff, but I barely cope. I had a major mental breakdown in 2017 (I got first prescribed benzos for that) and since than I don't have a normal life. So it's difficult for me to tell if Im back to normal yet because before benzos I wasn't in a normal state. I already was easily overwhelmed back then. 

But now, every day feels like trying to balance on a slippery rope - like emotional balance is impossible and I either fall inti anxiety or depression all the time... And my brain forgot how to feel good. 

I hope it will go away with time... 

[[Ye...]]

Hi @[Ch...], I wanted to ask you a question. I thought I understood that it took 18 months until you were able to deal with the stress of anxiety, right?

I am going to spend 18 months with sky-high anxiety that very negatively affects the perception I have of all things, people and places. I have never had anxiety like this and I can barely leave the house. I was taking Klonopin and I stopped cold turkey and it's been 18 months since then and I still have anxiety like I did at the beginning.

How did your anxiety evolve during your recovery?

thanks friend 🙋🏻‍♂️

 

p.s I used a translator, I hope you understand me well

[[Br...]]

18 hours ago, [[C...] said:

At only 5 months off benzos, you are still very early in the healing process. Average estimates for significant healing range anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. There is every reason to believe that as the time passes, you will continue to improve.

What you're experiencing now is all a "normal" part of the process. I was 18 months post-taper before I really stopped feeling so fragile in the face of stressors. It's all improved even more from there. TIME is the main healer.

Thank you so much, this is reassuring! I'm looking forward to being healed so so much... I hope so much it won't take two years. But it would be slowly getting better during that time, wouldn't it? 

[[Bi...]]

It's not protracted at five months but yes it's very normal.

Im at 20.5 months since my cold turkey. I'm improving quite a lot but I still get caught off guard with some horrible horrible symptoms.

Wishing you well

Edited September 18 by [Bi...]

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[B...] said:

But it would be slowly getting better during that time, wouldn't it? 

Yes, as time goes on symptoms fade. 

[[Br...]]

10 hours ago, [[B...] said:

It's not protracted at five months but yes it's very normal.

Im at 20.5 months since my cold turkey. I'm improving quite a lot but I still get caught off guard with some horrible horrible symptoms.

Wishing you well

Oh, its not? So this is still normal? I'm kinda relieved. So it can hopefully pass soon

Can I ask when does it turn into protracted? 

[[Br...]]

14 hours ago, [[Y...] said:

Hi @[Ch...], I wanted to ask you a question. I thought I understood that it took 18 months until you were able to deal with the stress of anxiety, right?

I am going to spend 18 months with sky-high anxiety that very negatively affects the perception I have of all things, people and places. I have never had anxiety like this and I can barely leave the house. I was taking Klonopin and I stopped cold turkey and it's been 18 months since then and I still have anxiety like I did at the beginning.

How did your anxiety evolve during your recovery?

thanks friend 🙋🏻‍♂️

p.s I used a translator, I hope you understand me well

I saw here on the forum is a Long haulers club for people who still have symptoms after 18 months, maybe you can join? Wishing you all the best. I hope the anxiety lessens. 

[[Bi...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

Oh, its not? So this is still normal? I'm kinda relieved. So it can hopefully pass soon

Can I ask when does it turn into protracted? 

Hi

I think it's classed as protracted after about 18 months but yes rest assured what you're going through is quite normal in withdrawal.

I hope you're feeling better very soon ❤️