proof of life

[[no...]]

I saw the invitation in my inbox to contribute to mark the 20th year of BB. Immediate flashback to 2011, and my second attempt to get of klonopin. And my beginning of graduate school. 

My doctor advised me to just stay on benzos- my psych dr actually prescribed xanax to help me get off - seriously. Hair of the dog anyone? 

It was here that I learned how to titrate, and here that I learned what I was experiencing was inter-dose withdrawal, and that I wasn’t making up the intense issues I experienced every time I attempted to get off my ridiculously low dose.

I leaned into this site. I found support and shared misery, and folks were always there at any hour to help. And I needed it. I am not going to detail that - I am here to express gratitude- I see Pamster is still here guiding. She was amazing in helping me as well.

I made it. I finished grad school and landed a job I never imagined I could ever do- because I “am anxious.”

Getting off benzos didn’t cure my anxiety. I am still some level of anxious alot of the time. But I deal with it, knowing I won’t crumple, won’t die and can function pretty well regardless. And there is a huge difference between that and the withdrawal anxiety. I still remember that. 

I have no secret to share on how to deal with it. I just know it can be done. And we are SO much more than our anxiety. Wishing you all a huge dose- of patience and perseverance!

 

Edited Tuesday at 02:27 by [no...]
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[[je...]]

Thanks so much for taking the time and sharing your experience!

[[Co...]]

Hello @[no...]

I am glad that you created a new account a few years ago so that the email circular reached you. Thank you for returning now to post your update and relay your appreciation for the support you received from BenzoBuddies and its members when you needed it most.

10 hours ago, [[n...] said:

I see Pamster is still here guiding. She was amazing in helping me as well.

Yes, @[Pa...] is still here, and still amazing!

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[no...], thank you for returning to help us mark this anniversary, and I know what you mean about offering secrets to getting through this, I wish I had one to offer up.  But the reality is there aren't any secrets to this other than finding what works for you through painful trial and error. 

I'm happy for you, you were able to reach goals despite this huge detour, congratulations. 

[[pi...]]

@[no...], I am impressed with all you have achieved. Not only that, you’ve learned to deal with anxiety and  and stress without benzos. Thank you so much for posting, your message will give confidence to those still in the process.

[[Rh...]]

Thank you for returning, sharing your story and inspiring all of us to keep pushing even when it feels we cannot.

I am so happy to hear of all your accomplishments despite living with anxiety.  I hear so many people say that the anxiety they dealt with before benzos and once they are healed is a “walk in the park” compared to the anxiety the felt while in WD!  
 

Again, thank you for helping those of us still in the battle with your positive post!