Memory dumps

[[Ma...]]

Anyone get childhood memories popping up constantly? Like shit you would never remember or think of? I go through phases of it. Its mostly all good memories, but only during hugging someone or being intimate. But sometimes in response to music they will come in flashes and be SO vivid. I do have ptsd from all of this and have flashbacks of awful things as well, but most of the time that is more recent things. This is like my long-term memory "shuffling". Is this a withdrawal symptom?

[[Pa...]]

Wow @[Ma...], I'm happy to hear some of what you're remembering are good memories, my intrusive thoughts were all negative.  I'm sure its a withdrawal symptom, and I like what you said about "your long term memory shuffling", that's an interesting description. 

[[Ma...]]

3 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Wow @[Ma...], I'm happy to hear some of what you're remembering are good memories, my intrusive thoughts were all negative.  I'm sure its a withdrawal symptom, and I like what you said about "your long term memory shuffling", that's an interesting description. 

Hi pam! Yeah its very fluctuating based on my cycle. If I'm having a bad day, its all intrusive awful memories with strong emotional reaction. On my better days of my cycle (not many), say my husband hugs me-my mind flashes SO many quick memories of all the vacations we've been on for instance. I smell a candle and I get flashbacks of being a kid cooking with my grandmother. My husband gave me a massage today and it was constant childhood good memory flashbacks. Its so so bizarre. I wonder if this is the hippocampus processing old memories. Im fascinated as to what is causing this.

Edited September 17 by [Ma...]

[[Pa...]]

 @[Ma...],I've never heard anyone describe this before, you're right, its fascinating, I'd love to see this topic discussed in Chewing the Fat, it would be interesting to know if this has happened to anyone else and what might be causing it. 

Forgive me, I'm not remembering your story but you've been benzo free for awhile now, correct?  

You're not the first to notice unpleasant issues around cycle time, I was writing to another member who's tinnitus is screaming at her while on hers. 

[[Ma...]]

2 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

 @[Ma...],I've never heard anyone describe this before, you're right, its fascinating, I'd love to see this topic discussed in Chewing the Fat, it would be interesting to know if this has happened to anyone else and what might be causing it. 

Forgive me, I'm not remembering your story but you've been benzo free for awhile now, correct?  

You're not the first to notice unpleasant issues around cycle time, I was writing to another member who's tinnitus is screaming at her while on hers. 

I originally started ativan due to akathisia caused by ssri withdrawal 18 months ago. Reinstated ssri 18 months ago. Tapered off ativan over 14 months been off 3 weeks. Still on ssri and lunesta and still plagued with physical and mental symptoms. My cycle makes me nonfunctional at least 2.5 weeks a month. Its horrible. And should I post this to chewing the fat?

[[Pa...]]

Thanks @[Ma...] for sharing your history, I was reading your 'History' and I wasn't sure about your timeline.  I'm amazed you're having positive emotions so early in recovery, that's a gift, and your husband giving you a massage is another gift, you're a lucky lady. 

Out of commission for 2.5 weeks each month, what a nightmare, is it every month?

As for posting this topic to Chewing the Fat, it might draw some interest but since I've not seen anyone bring this up before, I'm not sure if you'll see many responses but it would be cool if you did. 

 

[[Ma...]]

20 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Thanks @[Ma...] for sharing your history, I was reading your 'History' and I wasn't sure about your timeline.  I'm amazed you're having positive emotions so early in recovery, that's a gift, and your husband giving you a massage is another gift, you're a lucky lady. 

Out of commission for 2.5 weeks each month, what a nightmare, is it every month?

As for posting this topic to Chewing the Fat, it might draw some interest but since I've not seen anyone bring this up before, I'm not sure if you'll see many responses but it would be cool if you did. 

Every month. Sometimes it’s the whole month I’m debilitated. But when I get windows I get torn down my cycle and entering a wave now. How awful to go through this as a female.

[[Bo...]]

Yes it’s very common from those  I’ve met along the way.  A lot of us have called it ‘life review.’ It’s frustrating and hard at times with certain memories but it goes away as our brains work more towards homeostasis. 
Dr Jenn Swanktowski has a ton of videos on symptoms in YouTube that might put your mind at ease when different ones arise….

https://m.youtube.com/@jenniferswanphd/videos

hugs and great job getting thru this so far!!

[[Fa...]]

We are in eclipse season right now.  For those who may be sensitive to lunar cycles, there can be an intensity in symptoms during this time...within eclipse seasons, or just with the new moon/full moon.  As female's experiencing cycles, it can be really challenging.   I find the symptom of 'life reviews' can be more intense during these times.  I started noticing the correlation at some point during this, but have always been sensitive to lunar cycles prior to BW.  Absolutely, a symptom regardless. 

Edited September 19 by [Fa...]

[[Lo...]]

@[Ma...] you have described this to a tee I have it too and just the way you have said , I really don’t like it 😞

[[Sc...]]

I've been getting these and remembering random things from when I was a kid that I'd never normally remember too. 

I quit Valium in June fwiw