41 months later... i jumped :-) bye bye K.

[[Mi...]]

Not gonna give a super long write up, and wih all the forum changes i lost my old blog. But needed to post this.

 

I jumped after 3,5y of tapering, im now 5 days in and i feel im ok. Its my bday next week and i really wanted to be benzofree and save 

 

 

Ok , back to 2021.

Was on Klonopin 1mg to 2mg daily for a decade, for restless legg , insomnia, chronic cramp pain . 

I got bitten by ticks 2 decades ago and chronic ill with loads of infections, 3 lyme, 1 tbrf, 2 bartonella, 1 babesia.

 

I did a first ct alone attempt in 2021. Almost died on day 5, and reinstated. 

Did a second attempt with docter in 2021 with a stupid 10%/week taper, crashed, reinstated and got protracted withdrawel for half a year, wich was inhumane. Locked myself up in a room for 4 months without seeing dailight or sky, earplugs, pitchblack, daily fighting not to end it all. Still got ptsd from it. 

Contacted a benzo withdrawel clinic to help me with my 3th attempt. Dr advised me to just stay on benzo as it was helpfull for my tick born deseases and would be nearly impossible with my other symptoms.

After K was not available during covid, i really didnt want to live with that stress of being out of K, ever again, so i ignored the clinic advice and tried a taper , alone.

Did my third attempt in 2022 with help of this forum with a linear dry microtaper with a bigger taper at the end. 

Here is the full progress

 

01-04-2021 - c/t - crashed
10-04-2021 - reinstated 1mg K
01-06-2021 - fast taper - 0,2mg - crashed
06-06-2021 - updose 0,4mg K - no effect - joined BB
21-06-2021 - reinstated 1mg K
01-10-2021 - 1mg K - stable

01-01-2022 - started 5%/2w DMT
01-02-2022 - 0,92 mg
01-03-2022 - 0,83 mg
01-04-2022 - 0,74 mg
01-05-2022 - 0,66 mg
01-06-2022 - 0,60 mg
10-07-2022 - 0,50 mg - HOLD  (muscle pain)

01-01-2023 - restarting DMT
01-02-2023 - 0,44 mg
01-03-2023 - 0,38 mg (light wd)
01-04-2023 - 0,33 mg (wd, 2w hold)
01-05-2023 - 0,31 mg (abx crash)
01-06-2023 - 0,25 mg - HOLD  (muscle pain)
01-10-2023 - 0,23 mg
01-11-2023 - 0,20 mg
01-12-2023 - 0,18 mg - HOLD (wd)

01-01-2024 - 0,18 mg  restarting DMT
01-02-2024 - 0,16 mg
01-03-2024 - 0,13 mg - HOLD (wd)

01-05-2024 - 0,10 mg
01-07-2024 - 0,075 mg - HOLD
01-08-2024 - 0,05 mg -
01-09-2024 - 0,03 mg -

10-9-2024 - 0,02 mg k - jump !!

 

 

Biggest strugle was my babesia infection. Symptoms are 98% same as benzowithrawel. Same part of the brain not working.  So i never knew if it was withdrawel or babesia. 

 

Advice. 

Use an exponentiap taper. First 50%  where withdrawel free, last 10% where very very sensitive. 

My initial math showed a 1y taper, its been 3,5 years. Dont stick to a plan. Follow your body, take breaks  , do what you need too.

I truly believe i tapered at the same speed my cns neuroplasticity has addapted. If i would have quit ct, i would have withdraweled for 3,5 years. By doing microtaper, my withdrawel has been very doable. Maybe had  2 rough periods when i wasnt reducing exponentially enough, around 40% left and 10% left.  Last bit i was tapering 0,0005 a day. 

Im now 5 days off k. Some very little jitters, but nothing crazy. Think its more mental then anything else. Ill be ok, 100% sure.

I slept 11hours today, might have woken up 1 time in the night, peed, got back to sleep.

I dont think i have any k withdrawel issues left. I do have some symptoms but its babesia imo as its not constant and follows its life cycle. Im freediving again and most of my anxiety, claustrophobia and fears are gone.

Colours..... djeezes, how green can grass be !!! And the sun !  Just wow...

I pbb do have some ptsd from k. Ill see how it goes and if i need therapy for it later.

Next week is my bday and i.wanted to celebrate it k free for 10days and stable and thats exactly what i will do. 

 

From protracted to withdrawel free in 3,5 years. It is possible ! 

 

Special mention to benzobaby who has helped me trough some very dark times. 

Edited September 14 by [Mi...]

[[Ct...]]

Congratulations, @[Mi...]! What an accomplishment to persevere and slowly taper off K! You are an inspiration to me. 

[[Ro...]]

Way to go, @[Mi...]!  Whether it takes 1 year or 3.5 years, in the end you reached your goal.  Thank you for posting your taper history, allowing taperers to see a plan that is safe and doable.

[[Pa...]]

Thank you @[Mi...] for writing your success story, we appreciate you taking the time to come back to offer hope to those still struggling.  It sounds like you're sleeping well and colors are brighter, what a gift and happy birthday next week! 

[[je...]]

I’m so happy for you to hear you finally reached your goal! You have worked and persevered tremendously hard to get here. You should be very proud of what you have achieved.