First time sharing

[[ab...]]

 

This is my first time posting. Apologies for the long story. tldr: I came off 6-8 mg daily clonazepam after 10 plus years in 1 month. I thought I was through the worst withdrawal symptoms after a couple of months, but now 10 months later I feel totally crippled. I'm looking to find support here to help get through.

–

2014 onwards

I was first prescribed 0.5mg of clonazepam in my late teens for sleepwalking. I took it on and off until I was 24 when I sleepwalked through a window and severely injured myself. I then took my dose religiously each night. It wasn’t too long before I got used to that dose and I started increasing it. I also began to take pills during the day to try to dampen my ever-increasing anxiety. I already had anxiety and depression before I started on benzos and on them it just got worse and needed more benzos to calm it. My concerns around my body image developed into severe Body Image Dysmorphia and depression. I had some success with antidepressants and therapy, but never lasting recovery. Apart from the anxiety and depression, I also noticed an ever-worsening memory and cognitive decline. 

 

2023 onwards

In 2023 I began a job in a Drug and Alcohol service and learnt more about the risks of combining benzos with other sedatives like alcohol (which I had done so many times before). I decided I was going to try to stop my benzo use that year. My GP at the time was supportive but didn’t know much about withdrawal risks and supported my plan to come off completely over 4-6 weeks. By that time my daily use had crept up to 6-8mg daily. 

 

In November 2023 I ended my taper in 5 weeks. During that time I also stupidly attempted to come off escitalopram, which I had been taking for the past 2 years. I went back on it after the withdrawal symptoms became too severe.
 

The initial benzo withdrawal symptoms I experienced were: extreme restlessness, the constant feeling that my neck couldn’t support my head, dizziness and vertigo, constantly seeing movement in my periphery, flu symptoms, the feeling of a metal band around my forehead that was being tightened, sensitive to light and sounds, nightmares, strange taste in my mouth, an extremely painful scalp - I was convinced that I must have somehow sunburnt it, tinnitus and gastro symptoms. I was prescribed clonidine for nightmares and to reduce the risk of sleepwalking returning. It did a good job and I still take it now. Once I was off benzos I thought I could drink risk-free and my alcohol use increased as I tried to get the same effect on my nervous system. I needed much more alcohol to have any effect. 

 

In April 2024 I tapered off my 20mg escitalopram in less than a month. I only remembered some brain zaps and increased anxiety from this withdrawal, but I'm sure it impacted me more. 

 

Around May I thought I had a really bad sinus infection (which I would later find out was likely just bad facial migraines. Over the next 2 months, I took 3 courses of antibiotics, then steroids (oral prednisone and nasal spray). 

June 2024 - I think this was around the onset of the PAWS/BIND/delayed symptoms
In June 2024 I started on Brintellix (an antidepressant I had success with in the past). This time I had an extreme reaction very quickly. My anxiety went through the roof. I started having rolling panic attacks throughout the day and especially badly at night. I was only able to stay on it for two weeks due to the side effects.

I was then started on Sertraline straight after with a slow increase over 8 plus weeks. I have experienced lots of side effects, but the extreme night sweating and the stomach issues have been particularly bad.  I haven’t found much benefit from it and have started the slow taper from it now.

In July 2024 I started back on clonazepam at a low dose (0.125mg nightly) to see if that relieved some of the symptoms. I'm still on that dose today.

My “mental/emotional” side effects kept ramping up and all of these are still happening. I experienced total panic, pain in my arms and legs, chest pain (went to the hospital), extreme feelings of doom, and constant intrusive memories, thoughts and beliefs that I was an evil person that would never recover. My body dysmorphia has become all consuming. I have withdrawn totally from all socialising. I left work one day and couldn’t return for a month. I began going from being in total panic for hours, then crying until I fell asleep for a moment, and then repeating the cycle. I became convinced that I needed to leave my partner, who had been nothing but amazing throughout this nightmare. I made her move out and lived alone for some weeks until one day I had such a severe panic attack after looking in the mirror that I called her sobbing to move back in. I have dropped down to 2-3 days a week at work. I am terrified of being around other people, but also of being alone. Almost everything has become a trigger for terror and hopelessness. Music, TV shows, movies, books, photos - everything has become awful. I have become convinced people are disgusted by me. I interpret every time a person doesn’t immediately smile at me as proof of this. I get fixated on smells. At one point I was convinced the house was full of mould and only being able to focus on that. My mind latches onto one thing and won’t let it go. I feel like I lost my sense of identity. Nothing is enjoyable or free from distress. 

I feel like a sad sack, totally consumed by my own emotional experience. Totally self-absorbed. I feel waves of the deepest depression and pain. I can’t tell if the thoughts or physical sensations come first. I have this constant feeling of balls of steel in my throat, chest and stomach. The feeling of poison in my veins and ice-cold water in my heart. This constant intrusive thought that I’ve run out of time to have a good life. That I’m too old. How???? I’m only 34.

Physically my body has been impacted. With the lack of sleep, and the gastro symptoms, I feel like my body is rapidly aging. The skin on the inside of my mouth has been peeling, my hair has been falling out more rapidly, and my skin has been constantly unhappy. This has all tied into my body dysmorphia, where I can’t tell how much is bad, or just in my head. When I look in the mirror I feel total distress and often can’t recognise the person looking back. Every day I fall into Reddit rabbit holes researching health concerns. I have developed compulsions around mirror checking, comparing myself to others, and fear of exercise, baths, and anything that my thoughts say might make me look worse. I recently had the first visual migraine of my life. I had big floaters in my vision which gradually moved to the periphery, then a really bad headache for a few hours after that.

I have thrown myself into trying to heal. Though I know I keep reading it can’t be rushed. I have cut out all alcohol, caffeine, most sugar and processed foods. I try to get to the pool a few times a week. I am doing EMDR therapy. I am using the DARE app. I am trying to reduce stress as much as possible and negotiated with work to go down to 2 days in the office and 1 at home. I work in Mental Health and I have felt like a total failure at my job. To try to hold hope for others when I have so little myself has been very hard. 

I have recently started to feel some windows and waves, instead of constant terror. I have been able to feel ok in moments of swimming, playing video games with my partner, and reading a book (Tales of Earthsea). I’ve started to get more sleep too. I woke up a few times in the night with night sweats and panic, but at least now getting back to sleep. 

Other medications that I have tried:

I was prescribed quetiapine at a low dose to help with sleep (half 25mg). It felt very sedating, but I felt awful. Like my body was sedated, but my mind was still freaking out. The next day I would sink into an even deeper depression.

I started on melatonin for sleep. I think it definitely has helped. 

Psychiatrist has recommended I try ziprasidone (an antipsychotic), but I am apprehensive to add more medications. 

Supplements: I have been taking lysine, creatine, krill oil, vitamin b12, probiotics, fibre. 

 

Other strange related issues: 

I had injured my toe the year before, but after coming off the benzos the pain started to get much more severe. I went to the hospital twice and they found little. Got an MRI and multiple physio and doctor appts with little help still. I’m starting to wonder if all the pain is just benzo related. It’s massively impacted me because I used running and hiking as my main coping mechanisms before. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 10 hours ago by [ab...]
Clarity

[[pi...]]

Hello @[ab...] and welcome to Benzo Buddies!

You are certainly not a failure. The failure was your provider to suggesting such a rapid taper from  a very high dose of clonazepam, a strong benzo. You basically went cold turkey which can bring on very severe withdrawal effects.

My heart goes out to you because you have tried and tried to find a way out of this situation. However your statement about taking time to heal is spot on. Not only are you still feeling the effects of benzo withdrawal, but also the effects of so many other medications and their withdrawal as well.

I am very glad you have stopped drinking alcoholic beverages. Alcohol targets the same receptors in the brain as benzos. It’s often called a liquid benzo. 

Quite honestly, 10 months off benzos is still early in recovery. I was on a very low dose of benzos but it took me 15-16 month to heal. 

You are 34 years young, there is a lot of living left for you. I was in my 60’s when I tapered and I still believe that it was the best thing for my future health and well-being.

We understand what you are going through and will support and encourage you as you recover. Yes, it will take time but I’ve seen others heal from high doses of benzos. The nervous system will work to find balance again. We’re here for you!

By the way, are you still on that low dose of clonazepam? 

[[ab...]]

Thankyou so much @[pi...]for your reply. It means a lot to be reminded that these ongoing symptoms are from the benzos and not my lack of willpower, or permanent brokenness...

Yes I'm still on the low dose Clonazepam...I would like to get off it, but right now I'm just nervous to change anything incase things get even worse ...

 

[[...]]

@[ab...], welcome from me too. Just to say you are not at all a failure, on the contrary, you're a fighter, although may be sometimes overzealous but it's only natural considering the nightmarish ordeal some of us go through due to benzo withdrawal.

I'm glad you've joined BenzoBuddies. No one could understand and support you better than those dealing with a similar situation. I've seen people describing absolutely the same symptoms, doubts, mental and physical strain as yours many times. It does get better but takes a lot of patience and needs time. Good luck to you with all my heart

[[PE...]]

5 hours ago, [[a...] said:

This is my first time posting. Apologies for the long story. tldr: I came off 6-8 mg daily clonazepam after 10 plus years in 1 month. I thought I was through the worst withdrawal symptoms after a couple of months, but now 10 months later I feel totally crippled. I'm looking to find support here to help get through.

–

2014 onwards

I was first prescribed 0.5mg of clonazepam in my late teens for sleepwalking. I took it on and off until I was 24 when I sleepwalked through a window and severely injured myself. I then took my dose religiously each night. It wasn’t too long before I got used to that dose and I started increasing it. I also started to take pills during the day to try to dampen my ever increasing anxiety. I already had anxiety and depression before I started on benzos and on them it just got worse and needed more benzos to calm it. My concerns around my body image developed into severe Body Image Dysmorphia, depression and suicidality. I had some success with antidepressants and therapy, but never lasting recovery. Apart from the anxiety and depression, I also noticed an ever worsening memory and cognitive decline. 

2023 onwards

In 2023 I began a job in a Drug and Alcohol service and learnt more about the risks of combining benzos with other sedatives like alcohol (which I had done so many times before). I decided I was going to try to stop my benzo use that year. My GP at the time was supportive, but didn’t know much about withdrawal risks and supported my plan to come off completely over 4-6 weeks. By that time my daily use had crept up to 6-8mg daily. 

In November 2023 I ended my taper in 5 weeks. During that time I also stupidly attempted to come off escitalopram, which I had been taking for the past 2 years. I went back on it after the withdrawal symptoms became too severe.
 

The initial benzo withdrawal symptoms I experienced were: extreme restlessness, constant feeling that my neck couldn’t support my head, dizziness and vertigo, constantly seeing movement in my periphery, flu symptoms, feeling of a metal band around my forehead that was being tightened, sensitive to light and sounds, nightmares, strange taste in my mouth, an extremely painful scalp - I was convinced that I must have somehow sunburnt it, tinnitus and gatro symptoms. I was prescribed clonidine for nightmares and to reduce the risk of sleepwalking returning. It did a good job and I still take it now. Once I was off benzos I thought I could drink risk free and my alcohol use increased as I tried to get the same effect on my nervous system. I needed so much alcohol to have any effect. 

In April 2024 I tapered off my 20mg escitalopram in less than a month. I only remembered some brain zaps and increased anxiety from this withdrawal, but I'm sure it impacted me more. 

Around May I thought I had a really bad sinus infection (which I would later find out was likely just bad facial migraines. Over the next 2 months I took 3 courses of antibiotics, then steroids (oral prednisone and nasal spray). 

June 2024 - I think this was around the onset of the PAWS/BIND/delayed symptoms
In June 2024 I started on Brintellix (an antidepressant I had success with in the past). This time i had an extreme reaction very quickly. My anxiety went through the roof. I started having rolling panic attacks throughout the day and especially badly at night. I was only able to stay on it for two weeks due to the side affects.

I was then started on Sertraline straight after with a slow increase over 8 plus weeks. I have experienced lots of side affects, but the extreme night sweating and the stomach issues have been particularly bad.  I haven’t found much benefit from it and have started the slow taper from it now.

In July 2024 I started back on clonazepam at low dose (0.125mg nightly) to see if that relieved some of the symptoms. I'm still on that dose today.

My “mental/emotional” side affects kept ramping up and all of these are still happening now. I experienced total panic, pain in my arms and legs, chest pain (went to hospital), extreme feelings of doom, constant intrusive memories, thoughts and beliefs that I was an evil person that would never recover. My body dysmorphia has become all consuming. I have withdrawn totally from all socialising. I left work one day and couldn’t return for a month. I began going from being in total panic for hours, then crying until I fell asleep for a moment, and then repeating the cycle. I became convinced that I needed to leave my partner, who has been nothing but amazing throughout this nightmare. I made her move out and lived alone for some weeks, until one day I had such a severe panic attack after looking in the mirror that I called her sobbing to move back in. I have dropped down to 2-3 days a week at work. I am terrified of being around other people, but also of being alone. Almost everything has become a trigger for terror and hopelessness. Music, TV shows, movies, books, photos - everything has become awful. I have become convinced people are disgusted by me. I interpret every time a person doesn’t immediately smile at me as proof of this. I get fixated on smells. At one point being convinced the house was full of mould and only being able to focus on that. My mind latches onto one thing and won’t let it go. 

I feel like I lost my sense of identity. Nothing is enjoyable or free from distress. 

Physically my body has been impacted. The lack of sleep, the gastro symptoms, I feel like my body is rapidly aging. The skin on the inside of my mouth has been peeling, my hair has been falling out more rapidly, my skin has been constantly unhappy with oily/dry periods, sensitivity and more acne. This has all tied into my body dysmorphia, where I can’t tell how much is really bad, or just in my head. When I look in the mirror I feel total distress and often can’t recognise the person looking back. Every day I fall into reddit rabbit holes researching health concerns. I have developed compulsions around mirror checking, comparing myself to others, fear of exercise, baths, sunscreen and anything that might make my skin worse. 

I recently had my first visual migraine of my life. I had big floaters in my vision which gradually moved to the periphery, then a really bad headache for a few hours after that.

I have thrown myself into trying to heal. Though I know I keep reading it can’t be rushed. I have cut out all alcohol, caffeine, most sugar and processed foods. I try to get to the pool a few times a week. I am doing EMDR therapy. I am using the DARE app. I am trying to reduce stress as much as possible and negotiated with work to go down to 2 days in the office and 1 at home. I work in Mental Health and I have felt like a total failure at my job. To try to hold hope for others when I have so little myself has been very hard. 

I have recently started to feel some windows and waves, instead of constant terror. I have been able to feel ok in moments of swimming, playing video games with my partner, and reading a book (Tales of Earthsea). I’ve started to get more sleep too. Waking a few times in the night with night sweats and panic, but at least now getting back to sleep. 

I feel like a sad sack, totally consumed by my own emotional experience. Totally self-absorbed. 

Feeling waves of the deepest depression and pain. I can’t tell if the thoughts of physical sensations come first. I have this constant feeling of balls of steel in my throat, chest and stomach. Feeling of poison in my veins and ice cold water in my heart. 

This constant thought that i’ve run out of time to have a good life. That i’m too old. How???? I’m only 34

Other medications that I have tried:

I was prescribed quetiapine at a low dose to help with sleep (half 25mg). It felt very sedating, but I felt awful. Like my body was sedated, but my mind was still freaking out. The next day I would sink into an even deeper depression.
 

I started on melatonin for sleep. I think it definitely has helped. 

Psychiatrist has recommended I try ziprasidone (an antipsychotic), but I am apprehensive to add more medications. 

Supplements: I have been taking lysine, creatine, krill oil, vitamin b12, probiotics, fibre. 

Other strange related issues: 

I had injured my toe the year before, but after coming off the benzos the pain started to get much more severe. I went to the hospital twice and they found little. Got an MRI and multiple physio and doctor appts with little help still. I’m starting to wonder if all the pain is just benzo related. It’s massively impacted me because I used running and hiking as my main coping mechanisms before. 

Hi.

Your symptoms are all normal. I'm 10 months out aswell but I'm ok accept insomnia and some mental vauge mental discomfort when i wake up.

Like you i also tried drinking alcohol. I was in acute in akathisia vomiting mess and noticed if i drank lots of wine, a bag in box 3L, my nassua and aka got better. But after a few days it didn't do anything for me then spiking symptoms when it went out of the system. Tolerance to alcohol comes very fast!

Take care. 

[[ab...]]

[[ab...]]

8 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hi.

Your symptoms are all normal. I'm 10 months out aswell but I'm ok accept insomnia and some mental vauge mental discomfort when i wake up.

Like you i also tried drinking alcohol. I was in acute in akathisia vomiting mess and noticed if i drank lots of wine, a bag in box 3L, my nassua and aka got better. But after a few days it didn't do anything for me then spiking symptoms when it went out of the system. Tolerance to alcohol comes very fast!

Take care. 

Thanks so much @[PE...]. I'm so glad your symptoms have reduced a bit, but insomnia is awful. 

Have you had any luck with using antidepressants or any other meds to help?

[[PE...]]

Hi. I used quentapine and mirtazapine a few months and i think it worked some. I have also used thc at nights sometimes. What ever i use it works awhile and then the brain get custom to it. And there is not much medications except benzos that actually helps falling asleep. But i slept good for two nights now but slipt back this one..

Edited September 7 by [PE...]

[[sp...]]

16 hours ago, [[a...] said:

This is my first time posting. Apologies for the long story. tldr: I came off 6-8 mg daily clonazepam after 10 plus years in 1 month. I thought I was through the worst withdrawal symptoms after a couple of months, but now 10 months later I feel totally crippled. I'm looking to find support here to help get through.

–

2014 onwards

I was first prescribed 0.5mg of clonazepam in my late teens for sleepwalking. I took it on and off until I was 24 when I sleepwalked through a window and severely injured myself. I then took my dose religiously each night. It wasn’t too long before I got used to that dose and I started increasing it. I also started to take pills during the day to try to dampen my ever increasing anxiety. I already had anxiety and depression before I started on benzos and on them it just got worse and needed more benzos to calm it. My concerns around my body image developed into severe Body Image Dysmorphia, depression and suicidality. I had some success with antidepressants and therapy, but never lasting recovery. Apart from the anxiety and depression, I also noticed an ever worsening memory and cognitive decline. 

2023 onwards

In 2023 I began a job in a Drug and Alcohol service and learnt more about the risks of combining benzos with other sedatives like alcohol (which I had done so many times before). I decided I was going to try to stop my benzo use that year. My GP at the time was supportive, but didn’t know much about withdrawal risks and supported my plan to come off completely over 4-6 weeks. By that time my daily use had crept up to 6-8mg daily. 

In November 2023 I ended my taper in 5 weeks. During that time I also stupidly attempted to come off escitalopram, which I had been taking for the past 2 years. I went back on it after the withdrawal symptoms became too severe.
 

The initial benzo withdrawal symptoms I experienced were: extreme restlessness, constant feeling that my neck couldn’t support my head, dizziness and vertigo, constantly seeing movement in my periphery, flu symptoms, feeling of a metal band around my forehead that was being tightened, sensitive to light and sounds, nightmares, strange taste in my mouth, an extremely painful scalp - I was convinced that I must have somehow sunburnt it, tinnitus and gatro symptoms. I was prescribed clonidine for nightmares and to reduce the risk of sleepwalking returning. It did a good job and I still take it now. Once I was off benzos I thought I could drink risk free and my alcohol use increased as I tried to get the same effect on my nervous system. I needed so much alcohol to have any effect. 

In April 2024 I tapered off my 20mg escitalopram in less than a month. I only remembered some brain zaps and increased anxiety from this withdrawal, but I'm sure it impacted me more. 

Around May I thought I had a really bad sinus infection (which I would later find out was likely just bad facial migraines. Over the next 2 months I took 3 courses of antibiotics, then steroids (oral prednisone and nasal spray). 

June 2024 - I think this was around the onset of the PAWS/BIND/delayed symptoms
In June 2024 I started on Brintellix (an antidepressant I had success with in the past). This time i had an extreme reaction very quickly. My anxiety went through the roof. I started having rolling panic attacks throughout the day and especially badly at night. I was only able to stay on it for two weeks due to the side affects.

I was then started on Sertraline straight after with a slow increase over 8 plus weeks. I have experienced lots of side affects, but the extreme night sweating and the stomach issues have been particularly bad.  I haven’t found much benefit from it and have started the slow taper from it now.

In July 2024 I started back on clonazepam at low dose (0.125mg nightly) to see if that relieved some of the symptoms. I'm still on that dose today.

My “mental/emotional” side affects kept ramping up and all of these are still happening now. I experienced total panic, pain in my arms and legs, chest pain (went to hospital), extreme feelings of doom, constant intrusive memories, thoughts and beliefs that I was an evil person that would never recover. My body dysmorphia has become all consuming. I have withdrawn totally from all socialising. I left work one day and couldn’t return for a month. I began going from being in total panic for hours, then crying until I fell asleep for a moment, and then repeating the cycle. I became convinced that I needed to leave my partner, who has been nothing but amazing throughout this nightmare. I made her move out and lived alone for some weeks, until one day I had such a severe panic attack after looking in the mirror that I called her sobbing to move back in. I have dropped down to 2-3 days a week at work. I am terrified of being around other people, but also of being alone. Almost everything has become a trigger for terror and hopelessness. Music, TV shows, movies, books, photos - everything has become awful. I have become convinced people are disgusted by me. I interpret every time a person doesn’t immediately smile at me as proof of this. I get fixated on smells. At one point being convinced the house was full of mould and only being able to focus on that. My mind latches onto one thing and won’t let it go. 

I feel like I lost my sense of identity. Nothing is enjoyable or free from distress. 

Physically my body has been impacted. The lack of sleep, the gastro symptoms, I feel like my body is rapidly aging. The skin on the inside of my mouth has been peeling, my hair has been falling out more rapidly, my skin has been constantly unhappy with oily/dry periods, sensitivity and more acne. This has all tied into my body dysmorphia, where I can’t tell how much is really bad, or just in my head. When I look in the mirror I feel total distress and often can’t recognise the person looking back. Every day I fall into reddit rabbit holes researching health concerns. I have developed compulsions around mirror checking, comparing myself to others, fear of exercise, baths, sunscreen and anything that might make my skin worse. 

I recently had my first visual migraine of my life. I had big floaters in my vision which gradually moved to the periphery, then a really bad headache for a few hours after that.

I have thrown myself into trying to heal. Though I know I keep reading it can’t be rushed. I have cut out all alcohol, caffeine, most sugar and processed foods. I try to get to the pool a few times a week. I am doing EMDR therapy. I am using the DARE app. I am trying to reduce stress as much as possible and negotiated with work to go down to 2 days in the office and 1 at home. I work in Mental Health and I have felt like a total failure at my job. To try to hold hope for others when I have so little myself has been very hard. 

I have recently started to feel some windows and waves, instead of constant terror. I have been able to feel ok in moments of swimming, playing video games with my partner, and reading a book (Tales of Earthsea). I’ve started to get more sleep too. Waking a few times in the night with night sweats and panic, but at least now getting back to sleep. 

I feel like a sad sack, totally consumed by my own emotional experience. Totally self-absorbed. 

Feeling waves of the deepest depression and pain. I can’t tell if the thoughts of physical sensations come first. I have this constant feeling of balls of steel in my throat, chest and stomach. Feeling of poison in my veins and ice cold water in my heart. 

This constant thought that i’ve run out of time to have a good life. That i’m too old. How???? I’m only 34

Other medications that I have tried:

I was prescribed quetiapine at a low dose to help with sleep (half 25mg). It felt very sedating, but I felt awful. Like my body was sedated, but my mind was still freaking out. The next day I would sink into an even deeper depression.
 

I started on melatonin for sleep. I think it definitely has helped. 

Psychiatrist has recommended I try ziprasidone (an antipsychotic), but I am apprehensive to add more medications. 

Supplements: I have been taking lysine, creatine, krill oil, vitamin b12, probiotics, fibre. 

Other strange related issues: 

I had injured my toe the year before, but after coming off the benzos the pain started to get much more severe. I went to the hospital twice and they found little. Got an MRI and multiple physio and doctor appts with little help still. I’m starting to wonder if all the pain is just benzo related. It’s massively impacted me because I used running and hiking as my main coping mechanisms before. 

It sounds like you've had a long and arduous journey on the road to recovery, as many others here have. I'm glad that you found Benzobuddies!! I'm also really new around here, but I personally have yet to start my taper to get off of Klonopin. However, regardless of where anyone is at in their own story, there's so much to be gained by interacting with the community here. 

I've heard a lot of people describe the wd symptoms as feeling like their body (and brain/mind) turned against them, and that sounds similar to how you describe feeling like you rapidly aged. It's good to hear that you at least got to the point of having windows and waves. Even though it only brings temporary relief, it's a sign of progress. 

I hope that you can overcome seeing yourself as being self-absorbed and viewing your preoccupation with your current state as a negative thing. You're going through such a profoundly difficult experience that it's only fair to be focused on is yourself!! It's not being selfish- it's about survival. You are doing all you can to make it to the next moment, and truly that's all that matters. 

As a side note, there's a group on Benzobuddies you can join here in which people discuss various supplements, vitamins, and other forms of alternative treatments or remedies, and share what has and hasn't worked. But just like the whole recovery process, it's very individualized. What helps someone may make someone else worse. However, it can still be useful to hear about other's experiences.

I wish you all the best in your healing!

[[ab...]]

On 07/09/2024 at 15:06, [[s...] said:

It sounds like you've had a long and arduous journey on the road to recovery, as many others here have. I'm glad that you found Benzobuddies!! I'm also really new around here, but I personally have yet to start my taper to get off of Klonopin. However, regardless of where anyone is at in their own story, there's so much to be gained by interacting with the community here. 

I've heard a lot of people describe the wd symptoms as feeling like their body (and brain/mind) turned against them, and that sounds similar to how you describe feeling like you rapidly aged. It's good to hear that you at least got to the point of having windows and waves. Even though it only brings temporary relief, it's a sign of progress. 

I hope that you can overcome seeing yourself as being self-absorbed and viewing your preoccupation with your current state as a negative thing. You're going through such a profoundly difficult experience that it's only fair to be focused on is yourself!! It's not being selfish- it's about survival. You are doing all you can to make it to the next moment, and truly that's all that matters. 

As a side note, there's a group on Benzobuddies you can join here in which people discuss various supplements, vitamins, and other forms of alternative treatments or remedies, and share what has and hasn't worked. But just like the whole recovery process, it's very individualized. What helps someone may make someone else worse. However, it can still be useful to hear about other's experiences.

I wish you all the best in your healing!

Hi @[sp...] thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate the support and links to the supplements group. 

You are right about trying to be kinder to myself. It feels hard to allow myself that sometimes...but i guess it's all part of it...

I'm trying to find the right balance between pushing myself to still do things sometimes out of the house and also listening to when it's too much.