Help!

[[Ba...]]

So I have successfully tapered off lorazepam 1mg after 8-9 years of use. I was using it for sleep, but never felt like I needed it during the day. So when I tapered I went to half tabs, then quarter and stopped with no issues.

A few months after I stopped, I started taking .5mg after some increased stress/anxiety due to health reasons. I’ve been taking .5 at bedtime for a few months, and silly me, I thought I’d be okay to just stop taking them since I wasn’t taking them that long. After a couple days I felt horrible. So now I’m back to taking .5mg to “feel better” before I start a slow taper, but I still don’t feel 100% and now I’m scared to start tapering because .5mg barely feels like it helps now. I feel so stuck! 

[[...]]

Hello, @[Ba...], and welcome to BenzoBuddies!) So good you are posting and seeking support&advice here.

I can imagine how scared and stuck you feel. I also started and quit benzo without too much of issues till my last time. There is such a thing as kindling https://www.benzoinfo.com/kindling/, which explains this phenomena.

I'm not very good at stabilising on benzo and tapering. My stabilisation started only when i was completely off benzo but i truly believe a good taper should help you to have as few symptoms as possible. Hope others, more knowledgeable in this regard, will chim in and share their opinion. Good luck to you

[[Ba...]]

I just wonder if I wouldn’t be in this boat had I not stopped abruptly. I’m really kicking myself for it …I knew better. 

Edited August 7 by [Ba...]

[[...]]

6 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I just wonder if I wouldn’t be in this boat had I not stopped abruptly. I’m really kicking myself for it …I knew better.

Something similar happened to me but with worse consequênces as it got me disabled non functioning. I successfuly tapered a daily long term benzo, it all went well and i was fine. Made the terrible mistake of taking sporadic benzo doses and one triggered severe withdrawl hours after taking it. I got scared of even worse with reinstating, so i didnt do it but maybe i should have done it and cant accept my life is over. You still have the chance to taper really slowly. It often gets better the more you cut if you're tolerant to that dose 

[[vo...]]

7 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I just wonder if I wouldn’t be in this boat had I not stopped abruptly. I’m really kicking myself for it …I knew better. 

 Try not to have regrets @[Ba...] . I did kind of the same thing - a rapid taper in 2 weeks. My doctor wasn't happy. But it is what it is and even though I'm in withdrawal, it's finally getting better. What are your regrets for abruptly stopping and how long ago?

[[Ba...]]

6 minutes ago, [[v...] said:

 Try not to have regrets @[Ba...] . I did kind of the same thing - a rapid taper in 2 weeks. My doctor wasn't happy. But it is what it is and even though I'm in withdrawal, it's finally getting better. What are your regrets for abruptly stopping and how long ago?

Because I’m worried I just really messed up my brain/life. I’m still only taking .5mg at nighttime, but I’m pretty much miserable during the day with just heightened anxiety. I’m scared to start tapering the .5mg while I’m still feeling like I’m in withdrawal, even though I’m actively taking it. I go to the doctor next week. I’m worried she won’t be happy with me either. I just don’t want to take it anymore, but I know I can’t just stop. I just need guidance on how to properly taper it. 

[[Ba...]]

8 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Because I’m worried I just really messed up my brain/life. I’m still only taking .5mg at nighttime, but I’m pretty much miserable during the day with just heightened anxiety. I’m scared to start tapering the .5mg while I’m still feeling like I’m in withdrawal, even though I’m actively taking it. I go to the doctor next week. I’m worried she won’t be happy with me either. I just don’t want to take it anymore, but I know I can’t just stop. I just need guidance on how to properly taper it. 

I should add, after I abruptly stopped, I went back to taking .5mg with the intention of properly tapering because the feeling scared me. I’m just terrified this time around is going to be very hard. 

[[vo...]]

10 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Because I’m worried I just really messed up my brain/life. I’m still only taking .5mg at nighttime, but I’m pretty much miserable during the day with just heightened anxiety. I’m scared to start tapering the .5mg while I’m still feeling like I’m in withdrawal, even though I’m actively taking it. I go to the doctor next week. I’m worried she won’t be happy with me either. I just don’t want to take it anymore, but I know I can’t just stop. I just need guidance on how to properly taper it. 

@[Ba...]  I messed up years of my life BY taking these damn drugs! I wasn't present in my own life. I'm so glad I did come off of them - I'm now living better than ever before. Try not to be scared to taper - you're doing it for your own well being and future. Yes, you may and probably will continue to have withdrawal symptoms, but know that it will end some day. I'll look for your post in the tapering section. 

Edited August 7 by [vo...]

[[Ba...]]

1 minute ago, [[v...] said:

@[Ba...]  I messed up years of my life BY taking these damn drugs! I wasn't present in my own life. I'm so glad I did come off of them - I'm now living better than ever before. Try not to be scared to taper - your doing it for your own well being and future. Yes, you may and probably will continue to have withdrawal symptoms, but know that it will end some day. What benzo are you trying to taper from? I'm not very good with tapering advice but I know other members here are. Start a new thread in the tapering section to answer (only if you're interested in doing this) and I'll jump on with some advice (I'll try anyway) and we'll get someone here that can help you wth tapering. Someone here helped me too, but in my opinion, it may be best to get someone who is familiar with the benzo you want to taper off of. 

Thanks for the response!! 
I will add this to the other tread, I didn’t even realize! lol! I’m new! 
and lorazepam!