Flooding of bizarre emotions

[[gu...]]

Hi all, can anyone relate to this horrible sx I’m having of bizarre, overwhelming and horrific feelings flooding me from inside my chest? Just terrible pain I cannot control…I know they are not real feelings but neuro emotions….but it is so disturbing and feels so crazy and dangerous…

    I know i’m supposed to tell myself that the feelings aren’t dangerous, just uncomfortable… But of course it doesn’t feel that way. Curious to see if others can relate to this and thank you.

[[dp...]]

Definitely. Yesterday was a perfect example of how bad it can get,.. was in the shower, sitting on the floor of the shower holding my head because the intrusive thoughts and feelings were so intense I couldn't cope. It feels like getting attacked by hornets in my mind and body, you keep trying to fight them off, stop them, cope, whatever, but they just keep attacking. Worst feelings,.. every negative feeling, condemnation, rage, hatred, fear, guilt, anger, over and over and over and every weird crazy thought u could imagine. It's horrible, you are def not alone.

Edited August 7 by [dp...]

[[gu...]]

Dpier I am so so sorry……your experience is worse than mine…..thank you for answering.  My worst feelings are emotional pain and anguish. But I have the others as well. Hang in there. 

[[Th...]]

On 07/08/2024 at 08:41, [[g...] said:

Hi all, can anyone relate to this horrible sx I’m having of bizarre, overwhelming and horrific feelings flooding me from inside my chest? Just terrible pain I cannot control…I know they are not real feelings but neuro emotions….but it is so disturbing and feels so crazy and dangerous…

    I know i’m supposed to tell myself that the feelings aren’t dangerous, just uncomfortable… But of course it doesn’t feel that way. Curious to see if others can relate to this and thank you.

Yes I’ve had this a lot. Had caused severe SI at times. It seems to have eased off the last two weeks.

[[ro...]]

I have what feels like a form of this. Happens when I wake or when my system starts to attempt to calm or relax. Repetitive flooding of emotions in my core and brain just over and over and over. Thoughts and emotion just kind of avalanche and flood me with intense negative emotion. Feels physical and mental and causes intense agitation and agony. It makes no sense and I can’t keep it from happening.

[[Fa...]]

Hi @[ro...],

I experience this everyday.  I understand what you are explaining.  Mine has subsided considerably, but there are times that it comes back full force again.  It's one of the more terrible 'mental symptoms' even though it does manifest physically simultaneously.  Some have coined it 'mental AKA'...the focus on the discomfort in the chest/sternum or solar plexus area and the accompanying agitation.

For me, it's like a 'swoosh' of insidious thoughts, emotions, physical sensations that fills me with fear...sometimes elevating to terror.  It can be triggered by a benign thought...often, connected to our past, but not always.  It does tend to happen often at times where the body starts to move into a 'relaxed' state...whether that be trying to nap or just attempting some form of relaxation.  And, sometimes, it just happens.

There is no rhyme or reason for what it brings up within us.  It's not worth dissecting it.  It's not our mind bringing to our attention that which we need to 'see' or focus on.  It's just a very difficult symptom of healing.  We can't keep it from happening because it's the brain moving through the healing process.  It's not mind over matter.  But, it will lessen, and one day it will be gone.  Any sign of waxing and waning shows that it's not a permanent state.  The intermittence of this points to that as well.  It's a healing state that is very painful...but, it is healing.  I'm sorry you are experiencing this symptom as well.  Many of us are.  You're not alone.

Warmly,

F 

[[Br...]]

On 06/08/2024 at 19:41, [[g...] said:

Olá a todos, alguém se identifica com esse sx horrível que estou tendo de sentimentos bizarros, avassaladores e horríveis me inundando de dentro do meu peito? É uma dor terrível que não consigo controlar... Sei que não são sentimentos reais, mas emoções neurológicas... Mas é tão perturbador e parece tão louco e perigoso...

    Eu sei que devo dizer a mim mesmo que os sentimentos não são perigosos, apenas desconfortáveis... Mas é claro que não parece assim. Curioso para ver se outros podem se identificar com isso e obrigado.

 

Intrusive Thoughts, Revisited.

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/for-bwd-bind-sufferers/coping-skills/intrusive-thoughts-revisited/

 

[[...]]

30 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

Hi @[ro...],

I experience this everyday.  I understand what you are explaining.  Mine has subsided considerably, but there are times that it comes back full force again.  It's one of the more terrible 'mental symptoms' even though it does manifest physically simultaneously.  Some have coined it 'mental AKA'...the focus on the discomfort in the chest/sternum or solar plexus area and the accompanying agitation.

For me, it's like a 'swoosh' of insidious thoughts, emotions, physical sensations that fills me with fear...sometimes elevating to terror.  It can be triggered by a benign thought...often, connected to our past, but not always.  It does tend to happen often at times where the body starts to move into a 'relaxed' state...whether that be trying to nap or just attempting some form of relaxation.  And, sometimes, it just happens.

There is no rhyme or reason for what it brings up within us.  It's not worth dissecting it.  It's not our mind bringing to our attention that which we need to 'see' or focus on.  It's just a very difficult symptom of healing.  We can't keep it from happening because it's the brain moving through the healing process.  It's not mind over matter.  But, it will lessen, and one day it will be gone.  Any sign of waxing and waning shows that it's not a permanent state.  The intermittence of this points to that as well.  It's a healing state that is very painful...but, it is healing.  I'm sorry you are experiencing this symptom as well.  Many of us are.  You're not alone.

Warmly,

F 

Hi Faith,

You nailed it with: "whether that be trying to nap or just attempting some form of relaxation." I have it when I try to Nap.

[[ro...]]

2 hours ago, [[F...] said:

Hi @[ro...],

I experience this everyday.  I understand what you are explaining.  Mine has subsided considerably, but there are times that it comes back full force again.  It's one of the more terrible 'mental symptoms' even though it does manifest physically simultaneously.  Some have coined it 'mental AKA'...the focus on the discomfort in the chest/sternum or solar plexus area and the accompanying agitation.

For me, it's like a 'swoosh' of insidious thoughts, emotions, physical sensations that fills me with fear...sometimes elevating to terror.  It can be triggered by a benign thought...often, connected to our past, but not always.  It does tend to happen often at times where the body starts to move into a 'relaxed' state...whether that be trying to nap or just attempting some form of relaxation.  And, sometimes, it just happens.

There is no rhyme or reason for what it brings up within us.  It's not worth dissecting it.  It's not our mind bringing to our attention that which we need to 'see' or focus on.  It's just a very difficult symptom of healing.  We can't keep it from happening because it's the brain moving through the healing process.  It's not mind over matter.  But, it will lessen, and one day it will be gone.  Any sign of waxing and waning shows that it's not a permanent state.  The intermittence of this points to that as well.  It's a healing state that is very painful...but, it is healing.  I'm sorry you are experiencing this symptom as well.  Many of us are.  You're not alone.

Warmly,

F 

Oh thank you for this. I can’t tell you what it means to read your putting of this horror into words that describe it…if that makes sense. I feel as tho I have lost connection to my life and past history. No connection to loved ones or the world around me. What a nightmare, but one with an end someday I pray. Thank you. 

Edited September 20 by [ro...]

[[Fa...]]

@[ro...]  That is exactly what it feels like.  It is like being robbed of the essence of who you are.  It does feel like a thick glass wall between you and all you knew of reality and those you love.  It is horrific to experience.  Hold tight...it's a very nasty symptom, but it is a symptom none the less, and you are not stuck like this indefinitely.  I know it feels like it.

You're welcome...none of us want to be in this.  It will come to an end.

 

[[ro...]]

1 minute ago, [[F...] said:

@[ro...]  That is exactly what it feels like.  It is like being robbed of the essence of who you are.  It does feel like a thick glass wall between you and all you knew of reality and those you love.  It is horrific to experience.  Hold tight...it's a very nasty symptom, but it is a symptom none the less, and you are not stuck like this indefinitely.  I know it feels like it.

You're welcome...none of us want to be in this.  It will come to an end.

❤️ I need to read this every day. I can’t thank you enough. It’s impossible to live like this. I just barely hang on each day in pain and agonizing loss. Still going. Ty

[[Fa...]]

@[ro...]  I know it feels impossible to live like this, but we are...and, we will until it's gone.  Barely hanging on is all you need right now...that's good enough.

I'm not sure how long you have been living with this, but I can tell you this.  Because I am at a place where it can lift to a good degree at times, I can tell you that when it does, that loss you feel disappears instantly.  I explain it like this in crude layman terms...right now in this state, you only have access to diminished neural pathways.  All the positive pathways are not available to you.  When it shifts, you regain access to the healthy pathways again, and it become difficult to even remember what this felt like.  It's all neural chemistry.

The brain is so powerful, and when in this state, it feels like an alternate reality built from a Stephen King movie where you have access to alternate dimensions that are shrouded in darkness and eeriness twisting and distorting all you have always held dear.  You know that saying fear stands for 'false evidence appearing real'?  This state is a perfect personification of this.  One small shift, and you're back to healthy reality again.  So, don't lose hope.  Just take it day-by-day, minute-by-minute.

 

[[ro...]]

14 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

@[ro...]  I know it feels impossible to live like this, but we are...and, we will until it's gone.  Barely hanging on is all you need right now...that's good enough.

I'm not sure how long you have been living with this, but I can tell you this.  Because I am at a place where it can lift to a good degree at times, I can tell you that when it does, that loss you feel disappears instantly.  I explain it like this in crude layman terms...right now in this state, you only have access to diminished neural pathways.  All the positive pathways are not available to you.  When it shifts, you regain access to the healthy pathways again, and it become difficult to even remember what this felt like.  It's all neural chemistry.

The brain is so powerful, and when in this state, it feels like an alternate reality built from a Stephen King movie where you have access to alternate dimensions that are shrouded in darkness and eeriness twisting and distorting all you have always held dear.  You know that saying fear stands for 'false evidence appearing real'?  This state is a perfect personification of this.  One small shift, and you're back to healthy reality again.  So, don't lose hope.  Just take it day-by-day, minute-by-minute.

It has been so so long. Again, your words bring a hope I have yet to feel. Thank you.

[[Kr...]]

@[Fa...] do you think being on the propranolol helped your mental aka lift? 
 

As you know I tried taking it but it didn’t work for me. 
 

 

[[ro...]]

3 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

@[Fa...] do you think being on the propranolol helped your mental aka lift? 
 

As you know I tried taking it but it didn’t work for me. 
 

I tried as well with no help whatsoever. I don’t believe a beta blocker can come close to stopping this force. Maybe lower your hr or bp momentarily. That’s about it.

Edited September 20 by [ro...]

[[Fa...]]

Hi @[Kr...],

No, it did not help.  It minimally helped with the panic during the pacing.  I know that Propranolol helps with anxiety, but this is not anxiety.  Comparing this to anxiety is like comparing apples and oranges.  Time will be the healer.

[[Kr...]]

It actually made me more anxious the propranolol that is.

the only reason I’m still alive is the faint hope this can get better. 
 

And when I hear it can get better the thoughts immediately tell me the opposite. I know that happens to those of us we deal with this, it’s not like hearing hope changes it for me most times, it makes no sense.

[[Fa...]]

@[Kr...]  I think that is because we are asking our brain to accomplish something while in an acute state of fight/flight.  It can't use positive thoughts or even access them in this state.  It's like setting ourselves up to fail.  I do believe when we have more of ourselves back, we can start to utilize positive thoughts...but, as much as I dislike it, we seem to have no choice but to sit with it and let it be until we can do more.

The last thing we need to do is beat ourselves up because we can't feel hope.  The truth is this will end...but, when we are in it, it creates more suffering to think we should be handling things better than we are.  Really have to be as gentle with ourselves as possible...which is so much easier said than done.   

[[ro...]]

10 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

It actually made me more anxious the propranolol that is.

the only reason I’m still alive is the faint hope this can get better. 
 

And when I hear it can get better the thoughts immediately tell me the opposite. I know that happens to those of us we deal with this, it’s not like hearing hope changes it for me most times, it makes no sense.

Precisely

[[Kr...]]

On 06/08/2024 at 20:20, [[d...] said:

Definitely. Yesterday was a perfect example of how bad it can get,.. was in the shower, sitting on the floor of the shower holding my head because the intrusive thoughts and feelings were so intense I couldn't cope. It feels like getting attacked by hornets in my mind and body, you keep trying to fight them off, stop them, cope, whatever, but they just keep attacking. Worst feelings,.. every negative feeling, condemnation, rage, hatred, fear, guilt, anger, over and over and over and every weird crazy thought u could imagine. It's horrible, you are def not alone.

I’m sorry you are suffering, but thank you for describing it so well. 
I need to hear these descriptions. ❤️‍🩹