Is this Benzo withdrawal syndrome

[[Po...]]

Sometimes smart people do stupid things. I’m one of those people it would seem. 
In June 2023 my wife and I made a cross country move. Due to extenuating circumstances I had to take care of the move all by myself. As you might guess a big move like that is stressful and given my personality it was especially stressful for me. Part of it required a 5 day drive cross country staying in motels & driving 6-7hrs per day. I don’t do motels well either. I knew I was going to have a hard time, not sleeping was a major anxiety, so I asked my doc for a Rx of Valium, 30 tablets with no refills. 
Making a very long story short I was on a benzo for 20 years and got off quite some time ago with no issues. I assumed I could take a few Valium to get me through the move and be ok. I took those 30 tablets over the course of 4-5months. Then when I got where I was going and got a new doctor he gave me a Rx of 30 tablets. I took about 20 tablets over the course of 8 months and threw the rest away. I think the last dose was in April. 
Since then my sleep has not been very good. I found myself often feeling unrested, cranky and often just not feeling well. Then last night at 12am I popped awake and was awake the rest of the night feeling anxious, kind of jittery,  not feeling well at all. Miserable actually. 
I have been wondering all spring and summer why my sleep has not been good, gradually getting worse it seems, why I can’t seem to nap anymore and why I’ve been feeling so tough. Then last night in the wee hours it dawned on me “ dummy, you are probably in some variation of drawn out benzo WD. Or at least that’s what I think is going on. 
If that’s the case I’m wondering 1) how long will it last, 2) will it get worse before it ends, 3) should I find a knowledgeable doc and reinstate and taper again. My understanding of all this benzo stuff is reinstating at this point in my history is not the best thing to do.
if this drags on and on like lastnight I’m not sure I can last very long. You’d think a 75 y/o relatively smart guy with my experience would have known better

Pokey

[[Ma...]]

I definitely would not reinstate at this point unless you planned on staying on them for the rest of your life.  Another taper after reinstating could be brutal physically and mentally since you have been on and off them before.  A couple things I noticed in your post - you were on for 20 years before getting off, so even though you successfully got off, your brain is going to react differently when you start taking them again, even PRN.  I think the good news is that you used them relatively sparingly - about 50 tabs over the course of a year, or about once a week (I’m assuming 5 mg tabs?).  I don’t know how long it will take, but I suspect you will recover from this sooner than someone who reinstated and started using it regularly again.  Only time will tell, but those things are all in your favor.  Be well.  

[[Po...]]

Thanks for the feedback. I’ve entertained just going back on something the rest of my life as I struggle still with some things that keep me from living my life the way I want to. For example I’d like to travel to some places but I travel poorly. Air travel especially stresses me out often with no sleeping the night before. I even struggle with making the long drive to see my kids. But I think I’ve read/heard that reinstating doesn’t work as well as the first time you’re on the stuff and if not then you have a real dilemma. I for sure would not reinstate in an attempt to taper off again. And I’m told benzos are not good for old guy brains. So I guess I’m just going to have to tough it out, or die trying