Lorazepam to Valium

[[Pa...]]

@[mo...], I don't like what I'm reading here, the Valium is doing your talking for you and I don't like what its saying.  You are NOT a burden, I'm confident your family doesn't see you that way.  If you're like most women, you've always put your family's needs before yours, you've taken care of them before looking after yourself but this is one time you can't do that and its devastating, I know. 

Your family is sad and frustrated about your situation, they feel helpless to help you and this makes them feel even worse.  You're all in this together, they love and care about you and want you to feel better but they don't know what to do for you but watch you suffer.  Please don't let the lies the drug is telling you doubt their love for you.

This is a miserable experience you can and will survive, when you come out on the other side, you'll know joy and gratitude.  I hope I get to see that day, I love success stories and can't wait to read yours. 

 

 

[[mo...]]

1 hour ago, [[P...] said:

@[mo...], I don't like what I'm reading here, the Valium is doing your talking for you and I don't like what its saying.  You are NOT a burden, I'm confident your family doesn't see you that way.  If you're like most women, you've always put your family's needs before yours, you've taken care of them before looking after yourself but this is one time you can't do that and its devastating, I know. 

Your family is sad and frustrated about your situation, they feel helpless to help you and this makes them feel even worse.  You're all in this together, they love and care about you and want you to feel better but they don't know what to do for you but watch you suffer.  Please don't let the lies the drug is telling you doubt their love for you.

This is a miserable experience you can and will survive, when you come out on the other side, you'll know joy and gratitude.  I hope I get to see that day, I love success stories and can't wait to read yours. 

I’m so sorry @[Pa...]. There is just too much going on for me to deal with. Between the tumor, tapering, depression, insomnia, pelvic issues where I’m facing a 5th pelvic floor repair, the nerve pain from the eye surgery last surgery, losing my hair, losing my identity and being a burden to my husband having to be a care provider, I don’t see how I can keep going on. I lost my dad to dementia after my husband and I being his care supporters and now my mom has been diagnosed with dementia. It’s all too much. I even told my husband he deserves to find someone who can make him happy as I’ll never find my joy again. Nobody else is aware of how bad things are. I don’t want to live this life. Things were so good last year and the last 10 months have changed me and changed our lives. I can’t keep doing this. 

[[Pa...]]

Yes @[mo...], you're overwhelmed, its all too much but everything is going to sort itself out.  Your only job right now is to wake up each day, find a way to survive it and do it all over again the next day until light starts to seep into your world and it will.  

Its okay to give up, I did every single day, but each passing day brings you closer to your goal of freedom and peace, don't give up on your miracle. 

I've thought about you all day long, I've written this post over and over again and I still can't find the right words. 

 

[[mo...]]

11 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Yes @[mo...], you're overwhelmed, its all too much but everything is going to sort itself out.  Your only job right now is to wake up each day, find a way to survive it and do it all over again the next day until light starts to seep into your world and it will.  

Its okay to give up, I did every single day, but each passing day brings you closer to your goal of freedom and peace, don't give up on your miracle. 

I've thought about you all day long, I've written this post over and over again and I still can't find the right words. 

Thank you for your reply. I had hoped today would be the start of a better day but it isn’t. I can’t keep fling like this anymore. I’m so stuck.  Mot sleeping well and the anxiety, especially in the morning, is crippling. I can’t do anything except shake and cry while my heart beat out of its chest. I truly thought I was doing well tjis last month the cuts had done. I was so happy I was getting things moving. I can’t stand it. The dark thoughts are coming back up left and right. Not fair to my husband and I’m just done. I don’t say this to be melodramatic it’s just how I feel.

Do you think I pushed it too much doing a 4%, then 5%, then 10% cut in a month? I’m on day 13 of the 10%.

Edited September 28 by [mo...]

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[m...] said:

Do you think I pushed it too much doing a 4%, then 5%, then 10% cut in a month? I’m on day 13 of the 10%.

Its not what I think, its what your body is telling you, so yes, its been too much.  If you can stay the course by holding this dose until things start to settle, you've learned what you can and can't do.  This is a painful but useful lesson but its not going to last forever, your symptoms will ease.

Are you able to do anything for distraction, how are you filling your awful mornings?

[[mo...]]

Meditation, mindfulness, walk them dog, household tasks. But, it is hard to do all of these when I’m shaking, crying and so anxious my heart is in my mouth. I just don’t want to disappoint my husband which I known isn’t possible. He is amazing but I can’t do this anymore. I have no idea how much longer it will take to stabilize and I’m not wanting to do this at all anymore. 

[[Pa...]]

Practicing meditation and mindfulness sounds like torture to me, I'm not good at that stuff but I found walking the dog and keeping busy with projects around the house very helpful.  

You won't disappoint your husband as long as you keep working towards your goal.  He'll never fully understand the torment you're feeling but he sounds like an amazing person who supports and believes in you.

[[mo...]]

It is torture to me too. My therapist said to keep at it until it feels more natural. 

[[Pa...]]

1 hour ago, [[m...] said:

It is torture to me too. My therapist said to keep at it until it feels more natural. 

I'm glad you're putting in the work @[mo...], even if its not something you're comfortable with, that tells me you'll do whatever it takes to get better and it will pay off. 

 

[[mo...]]

On 28/09/2024 at 19:28, [[P...] said:

I'm glad you're putting in the work @[mo...], even if its not something you're comfortable with, that tells me you'll do whatever it takes to get better and it will pay off. 

Is it possible I’m already in tolerance due to the gold and that’s causing the increased anxiety and panic? I’m at day 15 and maybe I should do a small cut? I don’t understand where thieve is coming back from unless it is the tumor med which does mess with hormones. But, I’ve only take one dose and low dose at that. 

[[Ar...]]

On 03/08/2024 at 10:26, [[m...] said:

New doctor was chosen because he uses the Ashton method. I’m so confused though as he is changing me over directly from .5 loraz 3 X a day to v without crossover. He prescribed 5 mg v twice  a day with a 2 mg for any breakthrough symptoms. I thought he would reduce 1 mg at a time after holding for a certain period of time but he is letting  me self pace. I can’t cut a 5 mg down and he just said if I’m feeling fine I can just go from 5/5 to the 5/2 or just skip the second dose. None of this sounds right to me.  Another question is this… does the conversion sound right? 1.5 mg loraz to 10 mg V? Some calculators say 7.5? 

I wake up with tremors, fast pulse, and higher BP. I’m scared! I thought he was going to give me a schedule of small cuts and how long to hold in between.

I was put on a Valium Taper without crossover after my family insisted I go cold turkey, I developed akathisia and became suicidal and was hospitalized (Which did not help). After discharged my psychiatrist put me on 10mg valium 3 times a day to taper at my choice but only the taper slow like 5mg at a time then wait. He would not give me any other instruction or info. It wasn't fun but I made it. This was in June. Last week I decrease by 5mg in the am and it has been very hard the last few days but I am determined to get off this terrible medication. I have had terrible anxiety suicidal thoughts panic and back and teeth pain. I am on a low histamine diet with no caffeine or sugar to help with panic and anxiety. Just last night after dark I was sobbing in the yard to God "Just take me or help me" I cant endure this much longer. Then it got better shortly after lying in the wet grass. Minute by minute or hour by hour we endure. I hang on to hope and my faith in healing is what keeps me getting through the days. Hang on. I am thinking of you and wish you the best

[[Pa...]]

12 hours ago, [[m...] said:

Is it possible I’m already in tolerance due to the gold and that’s causing the increased anxiety and panic? I’m at day 15 and maybe I should do a small cut? I don’t understand where thieve is coming back from unless it is the tumor med which does mess with hormones. But, I’ve only take one dose and low dose at that. 

I wouldn't think you're dealing with tolerance, and I'm not convinced its another medication, I think holding a little longer would be best, I'm sorry.

[[mo...]]

 

I’m trying to decide between trying an 8% cut every 2 weeks or dropping .5 ml every two weeks as I’ve read some have done. It would be at month 8 that I’d hit about the same daily dose (3.0 ml at 8% cut versus 2.9 ml doing the .5 ml cut). Then, I could decide if I want to continue .5 every two weeks and ojump on month 11 or start the 8% cut which would take me much, much longer to jump; another year? 
 

has hoped to have people with Valium experience jump in on the other forum where rim posting my tapering updates but crickets. 
 

Opinions? I’m sorry for tagging the 4 of you again but would love to hear some advice. 

@[Pa...] @[or...] @[or...] @[Ro...]

 

I’m confused and wishing I had never started these damn things

 

Edited Thursday at 14:29 by [mo...]

[[Ro...]]

1 hour ago, [[m...] said:

I’m trying to decide between trying an 8% cut every 2 weeks or dropping .5 ml every two weeks as I’ve read some have done. It would be at month 8 that I’d hit about the same daily dose (3.0 ml at 8% cut versus 2.9 ml doing the .5 ml cut). Then, I could decide if I want to continue .5 every two weeks and ojump on month 11 or start the 8% cut which would take me much, much longer to jump; another year? 
 

has hoped to have people with Valium experience jump in on the other forum where rim posting my tapering updates but crickets. 
 

Opinions? I’m sorry for tagging the 4 of you again but would love to hear some advice. 

@[Pa...] @[or...] @[or...] @[Ro...]

I’m confused and wishing I had never started these damn things

A question I have is what percentage reduction is the .5 ml per two weeks plan?  

The Progress Log forum where your thread is does not allow replies.  So that would explain why everything's been "crickets."

[[mo...]]

11 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

A question I have is what percentage reduction is the .5 ml per two weeks plan?  

The Progress Log forum where your thread is does not allow replies.  So that would explain why everything's been "crickets."

It would be .5 ml every 2 weeks so 1 ml every month. David Jones wrote up a 10% taper plan every 2 weeks for me per my request. I just worry it will be too much.’

[[Ro...]]

18 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

It would be .5 ml every 2 weeks so 1 ml every month. David Jones wrote up a 10% taper plan every 2 weeks for me per my request. I just worry it will be too much.’

I feel 10% is too high, although it's hard to figure out which med is causing what in the mix.  In your shoes, I'd lean towards a rate of 5 - 7%, and then assess how it went for the 2 weeks and adjust if needed. 

Just my 2 cents.  Others may wish to weigh in.

[[mo...]]

 

2 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

I feel 10% is too high, although it's hard to figure out which med is causing what in the mix.  In your shoes, I'd lean towards a rate of 5 - 7%, and then assess how it went for the 2 weeks and adjust if needed. 

Just my 2 cents.  Others may wish to weigh in.

Is it better to start at the higher % and then can go down if it turns out to be too much versus lower cut then increasing? If I do ok with a lower cut, then test an increase, would it be too confusing for my body?  

[[Ro...]]

16 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

Is it better to start at the higher % and then can go down if it turns out to be too much versus lower cut then increasing? If I do ok with a lower cut, then test an increase, would it be too confusing for my body?  

Good questions.  I feel it might be a little easier to raise a lower cut after having held at that dosage over at least several days.  I seem to remember that you felt a bump in your symptoms around the half-life mark of the Valium.  I'd wait to make any increases until that has passed.

You could go high cut to low cut.  A potential problem with that is you may be impacted all at once from the cuts "piling up."

So, if it were me, I'd opt for the low to high cut, making sure I put in the necessary days on the low cut.

I know your taper is difficult and that you'd like to get it over with.  I can't blame you.  But I think it would be wise to adjust your taper rate from the 10% cut.  You could very well be very sensitive to each percentage of reduction.  It's hard to know with your other med involved.

During my taper off clonazepam, I reached a dosage of .5 mg, at which time I adjusted my taper rate to 3% from an average rate of 7.5%.  I had never gone below .5 mg/day before my taper, so I was about to venture into unknown waters.  I did fine and then resumed my normal rate.  I feel you are about to venture into the unknown, so it's a good idea to be conservative for now.

[[mo...]]

55 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

I feel you are about to venture into the unknown, so it's a good idea to be conservative for now.

Thank you for the advice. I’ll try a 5% then and if I do ok, do to a 7.5 myself and see. I’ve decided to not take the tumor med until I see the endocrinologist at John Hopkins in Nov. I only took. The one dose last week and it is a once a week pill. I think I need to see what’s from cutting before I add in another variable. His nurse said I could start the med if I wanted to get a head start but things have been so much worse this week, I think stopping is the best decision. My brain just isn’t working and I need all the help I am get right now. 

Edited Thursday at 17:25 by [mo...]

[[mo...]]

Oops, mistake post. Please ignore. 

Edited Thursday at 18:39 by [mo...]

[[Pa...]]

3 hours ago, [[m...] said:

Thank you for the advice. I’ll try a 5% then and if I do ok, do to a 7.5 myself and see. I’ve decided to not take the tumor med until I see the endocrinologist at John Hopkins in Nov. I only took. The one dose last week and it is a once a week pill. I think I need to see what’s from cutting before I add in another variable. His nurse said I could start the med if I wanted to get a head start but things have been so much worse this week, I think stopping is the best decision. My brain just isn’t working and I need all the help I am get right now. 

Good plan. 

[[mo...]]

 

6 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Good plan. 

I’m so sorry for the many posts, questions, and doubts. I’m scared, so depressed I am not sure I can keep going on even with my wonderful husband’s love and help. I don’t want to hurt the people I love but feel like I’m worthless with no way out. My doctor, once again, has not responded to my question if I should switch back to lorazepam due to the deepening depression. I can’t even drive myself anywhere and it is hard to make myself even leave the house. I continue being a burden. My mom’s dementia is worsening. She is still living safely but the time is coming when we will have to make hard decisions. We usually visit every month or so but I’ve only seen her once in almost a year. She is lonely and depressed and I can’t even be the support she needs and I’ve always given. I can’t do this. I am exhausted and tired of fighting. Pelvic issues, tumor, anxiety, depression, panic, hair loss, no appetite, weight loss has started again, so on and so on. Yes, oh woe is me but each day seems to get worse. 

[[Pa...]]

Please don't apologize @[mo...], we know this is a terrible time and you have too much on your plate.  But lets talk about your depression and your thoughts about going back on the Lorazepam, are you seriously considering it?  I have no idea how long the depression will last but I'll support any decision you make, I remember how dark and scary mine was with Ambien. 

[[mo...]]

49 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Please don't apologize @[mo...], we know this is a terrible time and you have too much on your plate.  But lets talk about your depression and your thoughts about going back on the Lorazepam, are you seriously considering it?  I have no idea how long the depression will last but I'll support any decision you make, I remember how dark and scary mine was with Ambien. 

thank you for the reassurance. I feel like I’m just such a burden and bother to everyone and I find myself apologizing constantly, which irritates the hell out of everybody.

I have no idea if I should switch back or not, as it was sheer misery switching to the diazepam in the first place. I just know this depression is soul crushing and I have no idea if I’ll be able to handle it for as long as it takes to taper off of this. I’ve been having some pretty dark thoughts which I promise to share with my husband when they come up. Haven’t had those in awhile and don’t have any plans. It’s just the thought that I don’t want to have to continue dealing with all of this with now end in sight. 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

I can see you're just trying to survive this and I'm so grateful to your husband for standing by your side.  This is what we do, this is how we act, we can't help it most of the time. 

I don't believe switching back to Ativan will be as painful as the cross to Valium, but interdose withdrawal will likely become an issue again.