Will I really heal?

[[Mh...]]

Will I really heal from benzo withdrawals? I’m currently tapering using the ashton manual but I feel like I’m dying. I feel like I  will never heal and go back to living a normal life again. I miss going to the gym, i miss working, going out with friends and just being a normal person. It’s very sad what has happened to us .

[[Ca...]]

Yes, you will heal! I had the very same thoughts just like you thinking I would never heal and it would stay like that forever! That's more than 9 years ago! I also did an Ashton Taper after I was CT'D by doctors off of Z Drugs and reinstated Valium. It worked but it was no fun at all! It was hell! It took me 16 months to feel healed after complete cessation. Then in 2022 I got put on Klonopin because of methylphenidate interdose Withdrawal and a severe paradoxical reaction to Iyrica I was given for methylphenidate interdose withdrawal. I was so damn stupid to listen to my doctor and take all that stuff. If I had only known better! Now I am almost 16 months off and in a severe setback... i already felt so close to healing before that! The setback was csused by finally getting off methylphenidate in April!

 

We will both heal! All we need is patience and time! 

Edited August 3 by [Ca...]

[[Mh...]]

Thank you so much for the positive response. I am so sorry you had to deal with all of that. I pray that you recover from this set back and go back to your old self. That is also scares me. Like what if I actually heal and then end up in a setback from antibiotics or a stressful situation? Like how long can we go on without having to worry about setbacks? 

[[Re...]]

I know it feels impossibile sometimes to trust our recovery, but believe me this happens. As I look back at my recovery until now I can tell - thinking back - how much has changed. Wow.. And this process is going to be much smoother for you with tapering slowly, I didn't do that way... As for the temporary flare ups - we are all different when it comes to this, the better taper you do the chances are your system won't be so sensitive. In my experience flare ups do happen, they can be uncomfortable, but they are survivable and temporary. 
Just hang in there and don't rush it! 

[[je...]]

It will get better! I’m now 21 months off and I remember during my taper it felt like it will never end. I’m doing so much better now. One day at a time. Your day will come. 

[[...]]

Yes tou will as long as you dont take another benzo ever again once you're off. I was doing great after a slow taper, much better than while on the benzo, made the mistake of taking like 5 sporadic doses and in a blink of an eye everything was completely destroyed. From a healthy person with a job and a normal life to a body and mind ruined head to toe locked in the house. Not sure if i"ll be able to get out of this, lost my chance in life 

[[vo...]]

Edited August 3 by [vo...]

[[Mh...]]

@[vo...] Thank you. And thank you all for the reply. I’m really hoping to just recover and I’ll be cautious of any meds I take. I will never take another benzo in my life. I’m holding on hope. I have too. I loved life too much before all this benzo stuff happened. I want to live again. Ive lost two years of my life and still counting. I was in the process of applying to dental school. I don’t know if I’ll ever live my dream of becoming a dentist. I just want to recover and I’ll live happy with whatever I have. 

[[Ca...]]

I feel your pain. I was c/t in 2016 and in withdrawal although not as bad as now because in 2018 a doctor prescribed tramadol for lower back pain that came on after coming off the valium and subutec and that took me out of withdrawal but led back to benzos and for two years I was normal but taking the meds again until i finally hit tolerance and started a microtaper in Feb 2022. I am at 12.3 tapering a mg a month and sleep most of the day and am up until three am. I updosed four months ago at this dose to 14 mgs because I could not even get out of bed t walk which I have done daily throughout. Well now I am almost to that point again. I think I will need to take a few days off from tapering. My taper rate now is 7.68.  It is almost intolerable. I hope you have some windows. 

[[Mh...]]

23 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

I feel your pain. I was c/t in 2016 and in withdrawal although not as bad as now because in 2018 a doctor prescribed tramadol for lower back pain that came on after coming off the valium and subutec and that took me out of withdrawal but led back to benzos and for two years I was normal but taking the meds again until i finally hit tolerance and started a microtaper in Feb 2022. I am at 12.3 tapering a mg a month and sleep most of the day and am up until three am. I updosed four months ago at this dose to 14 mgs because I could not even get out of bed t walk which I have done daily throughout. Well now I am almost to that point again. I think I will need to take a few days off from tapering. My taper rate now is 7.68.  It is almost intolerable. I hope you have some windows. 

I’m so sorry you’re going through it too. You’ve been through a lot my friend. I pray that you’ll recover soon and be able to finish your taper and get your life back. Big pharma really knows how to keep us going back for more and more medication don’t they?? I believe in God and we have to have hope that God will heal us one day. You’ll be in my prayers!

[[vo...]]

2 hours ago, [[M...] said:

@[vo...] Thank you. And thank you all for the reply. I’m really hoping to just recover and I’ll be cautious of any meds I take. I will never take another benzo in my life. I’m holding on hope. I have too. I loved life too much before all this benzo stuff happened. I want to live again. Ive lost two years of my life and still counting. I was in the process of applying to dental school. I don’t know if I’ll ever live my dream of becoming a dentist. I just want to recover and I’ll live happy with whatever I have. 

I'm so happy to hear that @[Mh...]! Don't let anyone else's negativity make you doubt that you WILL heal. We will all heal - it's only a matter of time, as you read many others write. I feel the same way as you about loving life - this is only temporary so keep that plan of becoming a dentist.  NEVER doubt this process! 

[[Bu...]]

14 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Will I really heal from benzo withdrawals? I’m currently tapering using the ashton manual but I feel like I’m dying. I feel like I  will never heal and go back to living a normal life again. I miss going to the gym, i miss working, going out with friends and just being a normal person. It’s very sad what has happened to us .

I hear you. I’m currently non functioning. 

I keep on coming back to this site for hope of healing, to hear these positive messages, from people who understand the nature of what I’m going through. 

 

 

 

[[Mh...]]

@[Bu...]  I’m so sorry you’re going through this as well. One day we will look back and wonder how we ever got through it. Just remember hold on to hope and take it one day at a time and be gentile to yourself. It helps a lot to know that this isn’t our fault. I used to blame myself for going to the doctor and taking Xanax but I just had no knowledge of what it could to my body. The doctors are supposed to educate us but they’re clueless themselves. Remember one day at a time friend!