Help please

[[Pa...]]

Just now, [[L...] said:

Thank you.  Am I cutting a  percentage of each pill? I'm not sure how much i'm supposed to take off and then weigh them. My apologies I really need help with this

Yeah, I avoided that part of your post, hoping @[El...] can direct you but if she doesn't pop in, I'll help you figure it out. 

[[Li...]]

1 minute ago, [[P...] said:

Yeah, I avoided that part of your post, hoping @[El...] can direct you but if she doesn't pop in, I'll help you figure it out. 

Sure, no problem. You are  so strong because I can only handle 2 hours of work.I know you said you worked through your withdrawal. I can't hang and I was hoping to get back to work. 

[[El...]]

@[Li...] When you decide to start your taper, your first consideration will be determinig the percentage you wish to reduce.  No more than 5% to 10% is generally considered wise.  However, since you have been "struggling" with becoming stable, it might be a good idea to start with a lower percentage in the beginning and see how you feel.  You can always go faster.  But once a cut is made and if was too great, you may need a prolonged period to recover.  Perhaps a 2-2.5% reduction?

In order to calculate the percentage you need to cut or shave from your pill, I would first need to have the average weight of your pill in grams.  Once I have that, I can make the calculation for the percent reduction you decide upon and show you how it is done.  So, once you get your scale, weigh 10 pills and then divide that number (which will be grams) by 10.  That is the average weight of your pills (in grams) and will always be used in all calculations going forward.  The only time that number will change is when you get a new prescription.  Then you must find the average weight again for that new script. 

Meanwhile, you can consider what your daily dose would be after making the following percentage reductions from 1.5 mg:

10% = 1.35 mg

5% = 1.425 mg

2.5% = 1.4625

2% = 1.47 mg

Please try not to stress about this.  The calculations are fairly straight-forward and I can help you figure them out.

[[Li...]]

52 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] When you decide to start your taper, your first consideration will be determinig the percentage you wish to reduce.  No more than 5% to 10% is generally considered wise.  However, since you have been "struggling" with becoming stable, it might be a good idea to start with a lower percentage in the beginning and see how you feel.  You can always go faster.  But once a cut is made and if was too great, you may need a prolonged period to recover.  Perhaps a 2-2.5% reduction?

In order to calculate the percentage you need to cut or shave from your pill, I would first need to have the average weight of your pill in grams.  Once I have that, I can make the calculation for the percent reduction you decide upon and show you how it is done.  So, once you get your scale, weigh 10 pills and then divide that number (which will be grams) by 10.  That is the average weight of your pills (in grams) and will always be used in all calculations going forward.  The only time that number will change is when you get a new prescription.  Then you must find the average weight again for that new script. 

Meanwhile, you can consider what your daily dose would be after making the following percentage reductions from 1.5 mg:

10% = 1.35 mg

5% = 1.425 mg

2.5% = 1.4625

2% = 1.47 mg

Please try not to stress about this.  The calculations are fairly straight-forward and I can help you figure them out.

Thank you sooo so much. I also have my partner here if I need help with the math, etc.. My main concern now is I'm having no windows today and I don't feel functional again.  I feel pretty unstable and can't work.  Is it  perhaps taking me longer to stabalize because I could have possibly made a 25%  or  30% percent in reduction? I'm thinking back to the end of June in to July where I would randomly dose a few times a day when I had anxiety. Sometimes I may have skipped a day some days I think I may have taken 2mg or more. I don't believe I ever exceeded 3MG. If this is the case would it take longer to stabaliz ? I'm having a hard time again. 

[[El...]]

Certainly if you were taking 2 or even 3 mg on a "more or less" regular basis, that could be contributing to your current instability.  It took me in excess of of 2 1/2 to 3 months to reduce from 2 mg to 1.5 mg and, looking back, I know I went way too fast, even in that time frame.  All the more reason to really realize how well you are doing.  If you made that massive of a cut, you are doing extremely well to be having the "windows" that you are experiencing.  So, once again, be patient and wait.  You are getter better and better!

[[Li...]]

2 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

Certainly if you were taking 2 or even 3 mg on a "more or less" regular basis, that could be contributing to your current instability.  It took me in excess of of 2 1/2 to 3 months to reduce from 2 mg to 1.5 mg and, looking back, I know I went way too fast, even in that time frame.  All the more reason to really realize how well you are doing.  If you made that massive of a cut, you are doing extremely well to be having the "windows" that you are experiencing.  So, once again, be patient and wait.  You are getter better and better!

I also know I had times where I would just take .05.   My doses were all over the place. TY So much 

[[Li...]]

12 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I also know I had times where I would just take .05.   My doses were all over the place. TY So much 

I'm dealing with : I can barely have a conversation with my boyfriend, family, or friends. I want them near but yet at a distance.  I can't connect or have a conversation. What is this? My only focus is on what's going on inside me. I'm on complete fear when someone tries to even call my phone. Even family?? 

[[Li...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I'm dealing with : I can barely have a conversation with my boyfriend, family, or friends. I want them near but yet at a distance.  I can't connect or have a conversation. What is this? My only focus is on what's going on inside me. I'm on complete fear when someone tries to even call my phone. Even family?? @[Pa...] will this go away

 

[[El...]]

@[Li...] I am so sorry you are continuing to experience anxiety and fear.  It seems cruel that the very medication we take to control those emotions can sometimes cease to help us or reoccur when we start tapering.  But be assured, these feelings are completely normal.  Remember that your body is used to you giving it a "rescue" dose to help you cope with these feelings.  Since you are no longer doing so, these feelings may blossom until your system settles.  Unfortunatey, it may even be that you will experience some degree of anxiety and fear throughout your taper.  So, instead of these feelings being your "only focus", you need to start searching for some coping mechanisms or distraction techniques to get your through the rough times.  Are there any activities you particularly enjoy?  I like to take long walks and swim daily. I go bike-riding. I enjoy reading and gardening.  I play bridge or chess (or even poker) on the computer.  I do crossword puzzles.  Sometimes I just brush my cat!  If I am feeling particularly frantic, I even clean my house just to keep my mind distracted from how I am feeling.  Some people cook, or bake, or knit, or crochet, or paint, or do wood-working, or binge watch movies........I have found that continually focusing on how I feel, or will I ever feel better(?), or am I worse than yesterday(?) just feeds whatever symptom I may be experiencing.

I am not saying any of this easy.  Hopefully, you will soon start to feel considerably better as youbwait for your symptoms to settle. But in the meantime, please try to find something you can do to distract yourself.  I know it seems much easier to just give up.  But sometimes you just have to push yourself to start.  Once you get going, you just might feel better (or at least distracted for a short time).

 

[[Li...]]

23 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] I am so sorry you are continuing to experience anxiety and fear.  It seems cruel that the very medication we take to control those emotions can sometimes cease to help us or reoccur when we start tapering.  But be assured, these feelings are completely normal.  Remember that your body is used to you giving it a "rescue" dose to help you cope with these feelings.  Since you are no longer doing so, these feelings may blossom until your system settles.  Unfortunatey, it may even be that you will experience some degree of anxiety and fear throughout your taper.  So, instead of these feelings being your "only focus", you need to start searching for some coping mechanisms or distraction techniques to get your through the rough times.  Are there any activities you particularly enjoy?  I like to take long walks and swim daily. I go bike-riding. I enjoy reading and gardening.  I play bridge or chess (or even poker) on the computer.  I do crossword puzzles.  Sometimes I just brush my cat!  If I am feeling particularly frantic, I even clean my house just to keep my mind distracted from how I am feeling.  Some people cook, or bake, or knit, or crochet, or paint, or do wood-working, or binge watch movies........I have found that continually focusing on how I feel, or will I ever feel better(?), or am I worse than yesterday(?) just feeds whatever symptom I may be experiencing.

I am not saying any of this easy.  Hopefully, you will soon start to feel considerably better as youbwait for your symptoms to settle. But in the meantime, please try to find something you can do to distract yourself.  I know it seems much easier to just give up.  But sometimes you just have to push yourself to start.  Once you get going, you just might feel better (or at least distracted for a short time).

It's  very hard for me to do things because I can't focus on anything,  and I'm not sleeping. I'm sleep deprived very badly.  I'm hoping things settle. 

[[Li...]]

13 hours ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] I am so sorry you are continuing to experience anxiety and fear.  It seems cruel that the very medication we take to control those emotions can sometimes cease to help us or reoccur when we start tapering.  But be assured, these feelings are completely normal.  Remember that your body is used to you giving it a "rescue" dose to help you cope with these feelings.  Since you are no longer doing so, these feelings may blossom until your system settles.  Unfortunatey, it may even be that you will experience some degree of anxiety and fear throughout your taper.  So, instead of these feelings being your "only focus", you need to start searching for some coping mechanisms or distraction techniques to get your through the rough times.  Are there any activities you particularly enjoy?  I like to take long walks and swim daily. I go bike-riding. I enjoy reading and gardening.  I play bridge or chess (or even poker) on the computer.  I do crossword puzzles.  Sometimes I just brush my cat!  If I am feeling particularly frantic, I even clean my house just to keep my mind distracted from how I am feeling.  Some people cook, or bake, or knit, or crochet, or paint, or do wood-working, or binge watch movies........I have found that continually focusing on how I feel, or will I ever feel better(?), or am I worse than yesterday(?) just feeds whatever symptom I may be experiencing.

I am not saying any of this easy.  Hopefully, you will soon start to feel considerably better as youbwait for your symptoms to settle. But in the meantime, please try to find something you can do to distract yourself.  I know it seems much easier to just give up.  But sometimes you just have to push yourself to start.  Once you get going, you just might feel better (or at least distracted for a short 

@[El...] Thank you. This does help. Today is the 2 week mark I believe of trying to stabalize. I don't think I'm there yet. Am I able to still hold ? Is there a chance to still stabalize? New symptom is I don't want to leave the bed due to extreme fatigue/ sleep deprivation. I go in and out of sleep that doesn't last long. I feel weak when I walk. More fatigued from other days. 

[[El...]]

@[Li...] I think it is a very good idea that you continue to hold!  There is no rush!  And of course, there is every change you will stabilize.  You just need more time.

Also, if you have been relatively inactive and now are mostly in bed, you are going to feel weak and fatigued.  I know it is difficult, but I would very strongly encourage you to take at least a few gentle, short walks, even it is just within your house or around your yard or garden.  If you surrender to complete inactivity, you are just going to get weaker.  I went that route once and it was terribly, terribly difficult (both physically and psychologically) to get moving again.

Just be patient with holding!

[[Li...]]

Just now, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] I think it is a very good idea that you continue to hold!  There is no rush!  And of course, there is every change you will stabilize.  You just need more time.

Also, if you have been relatively inactive and now are mostly in bed, you are going to feel weak and fatigued.  I know it is difficult, but I would very strongly encourage you to take at least a few gentle, short walks, even it is just within your house or around your yard or garden.  If you surrender to complete inactivity, you are just going to get weaker.  I went that route once and it was terribly, terribly difficult (both physically and psychologically) to get moving again.

Just be patient with holding!

I go back and forth between outside and the living room. I do drive everyday but it makes me so anxious. My scale is coming today btw 😇. 

[[Li...]]

The intrusive thoughts are so scary. Did that happen to you? I'm sorry for writing again I get scared.  it's as though I feel psychotic and it won't go away. 

[[Li...]]

I also wanted to ask if you experienced internal tremors while awakening? 

[[El...]]

It seems like each of us can suffer from a unique set of withdrawal symptoms.  While I do not experience internal tremors or intrusive thoughts, if I let myself taper too fast and become unstable, I experience severe tinnitus, painful neuropathy in my feet and shins, rapid mood swings from rages to crying, severe headaches, a "swimming" and "boaty" feeling, and fuzzy vision.  The key for me is keep a careful log of my dose and symptoms each day.  If my symptoms ramp up, I hold until they settle.  Sometimes I only have to hold 2-3 days, sometimes a week, once it was 6 weeks.  But, I have learned that I need to patiently wait.  My symptoms have always settled eventually. 

[[Li...]]

I understand.  I guess I don't get why I would Taper longer than I was using the drug. It could take a year to taper at that percentage from a 2 month use? This seems possibly more dangerous to me? IDK.  I know I'm no expert but I'm hoping to find answers 

[[Li...]]

1 minute ago, [[L...] said:

I understand.  I guess I don't get why I would Taper longer than I was using the drug. It could take a year to taper at that percentage from a 2 month use? This seems possibly more dangerous to me? IDK.  I know I'm no expert but I'm hoping to find answers 

@[El...]

[[El...]]

@[Li...]This is where you need to “throw away” the calender. Your taper needs to take as long as it needs to take so it can be done safely and “comfortably”. I am not a doctor, but I believe there is a greater risk of potential harm to your central nervous system from a too rapid taper then taking a smaller and smaller amount of drug over a longer length of time. Additionally, if you go slowly, following your symptoms, there is little risk of potentially having to updose. A continual need to updose, brought on by exacerbated symptoms from a too rapid taper, may lead to kindling with all of its associated problems. Also, if you go slowly, your system has a chance to heal as you go. If you rush your taper, you may be in for a longer, more painful healing process upon completion.

These are some of my reasons for going slowly and allowing my symptoms to lead my taper. How you proceed, however, is entirety your choice. This is your taper. But consider also, if you start slowly, there is the possibility that you may feel well enough to proceed faster later in your taper.

So, there is no set time line or “one size fits all” taper.  And, most of all, unless you have some extenunating circumstances outside of your control (as in your doctor will no longer prescribe), there is really no need rush.

 

[[Pa...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I understand.  I guess I don't get why I would Taper longer than I was using the drug. It could take a year to taper at that percentage from a 2 month use? This seems possibly more dangerous to me? IDK.  I know I'm no expert but I'm hoping to find answers 

Your taper will what you need it to be, there is no set timeline, you'll taper at your own pace to keep you functional.  There is no danger in the taper you're considering, using that word is part of the fear the drug is causing you to feel.  Try to fight these kinds of thoughts, @[El...] described your choices perfectly, you are in control of this process. 

[[Li...]]

14 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...]This is where you need to “throw away” the calender. Your taper needs to take as long as it needs to take so it can be done safely and “comfortably”. I am not a doctor, but I believe there is a greater risk of potential harm to your central nervous system from a too rapid taper then taking a smaller and smaller amount of drug over a longer length of time. Additionally, if you go slowly, following your symptoms, there is little risk of potentially having to updose. A continual need to updose, brought on by exacerbated symptoms from a too rapid taper, may lead to kindling with all of its associated problems. Also, if you go slowly, your system has a chance to heal as you go. If you rush your taper, you may be in for a longer, more painful healing process upon completion.

These are some of my reasons for going slowly and allowing my symptoms to lead my taper. How you proceed, however, is entirety your choice. This is your taper. But consider also, if you start slowly, there is the possibility that you may feel well enough to proceed faster later in your taper.

So, there is no set time line or “one size fits all” taper.  And, most of all, unless you have some extenunating circumstances outside of your control (as in your doctor will no longer prescribe), there is really no need rush.

Thank you.  I'm sorry for all the questions 

[[Li...]]

14 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Your taper will what you need it to be, there is no set timeline, you'll taper at your own pace to keep you functional.  There is no danger in the taper you're considering, using that word is part of the fear the drug is causing you to feel.  Try to fight these kinds of thoughts, @[El...] described your choices perfectly, you are in control of this process. 

Thank you.  I apologize for all the questions. This is just so scary. My life drastically took a turn 

[[vo...]]

33 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Thank you.  I apologize for all the questions. This is just so scary. My life drastically took a turn 

@[Li...] No need to apologize for asking questions Lily. Ask as many and all the questions you wish to - people are here for the sole purpose of helping each other. I know it's scary, but you're in a very safe place here with a lot of people that care. 

[[Pa...]]

@[vo...] is right @[Li...], we understand the fear you're living with, and not only that, our cognitive abilities are severely compromised just when we're expected to make what feel like life and death decisions.  Knowing the wrong decision can bring on even more pain than we're already experiencing is a heavy burden, please don't apologize, we get it. 

[[Le...]]

2 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I understand.  I guess I don't get why I would Taper longer than I was using the drug. It could take a year to taper at that percentage from a 2 month use? This seems possibly more dangerous to me? IDK.  I know I'm no expert but I'm hoping to find answers 

I think the possible harm from your nervous system going hyperactive is what you are trying to avoid more than the drugs direct harms. 

I also really recommend avoiding any of the extreme WD states if possible. They can be very memorable and troubling.