Help please

[[Pa...]]

We all obsess over this process, its normal so please don't think what you're dealing with is anything out of the ordinary.  We know its scary but your fear is being manufactured by the drug and when I finally realized this I started saying a sort of mantra out loud.  This isn't real, its not me and when I recover, I'll be okay.  

Now is the time to research ways to calm yourself, if meditation and breathing don't work for you, try to find other techniques, and find ways to distract yourself from your thoughts.  You're not sick, you don't have an incurable disease, you have a medication injury that can heal.

As for taking the drug longer by doing a slow taper, many have worried about this but as long as you're tapering, you're going in the right direction. 

[[Li...]]

20 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

We all obsess over this process, its normal so please don't think what you're dealing with is anything out of the ordinary.  We know its scary but your fear is being manufactured by the drug and when I finally realized this I started saying a sort of mantra out loud.  This isn't real, its not me and when I recover, I'll be okay.  

Now is the time to research ways to calm yourself, if meditation and breathing don't work for you, try to find other techniques, and find ways to distract yourself from your thoughts.  You're not sick, you don't have an incurable disease, you have a medication injury that can heal.

As for taking the drug longer by doing a slow taper, many have worried about this but as long as you're tapering, you're going in the right direction. 

Can stabilizing take long? I feel like I had a major setback today

[[Li...]]

3 hours ago, [[P...] said:

We all obsess over this process, its normal so please don't think what you're dealing with is anything out of the ordinary.  We know its scary but your fear is being manufactured by the drug and when I finally realized this I started saying a sort of mantra out loud.  This isn't real, its not me and when I recover, I'll be okay.  

Now is the time to research ways to calm yourself, if meditation and breathing don't work for you, try to find other techniques, and find ways to distract yourself from your thoughts.  You're not sick, you don't have an incurable disease, you have a medication injury that can heal.

As for taking the drug longer by doing a slow taper, many have worried about this but as long as you're tapering, you're going in the right direction. 

Thank you so much. I'm Not sure why I am worse today? I was doing well for 2 days. No relief today at all?? 

[[vo...]]

2 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Thank you so much. I'm Not sure why I am worse today? I was doing well for 2 days. No relief today at all?? 

Maybe windows & waves @[Li...]? Try not to let it get to you if you can. If you "ride" out the "wave" (maybe that's where they got this description of wave from?) hopefully you will get a window before too long. 

[[El...]]

@[Li...] Stabilization can be a very non-linear process.  Your symptoms will ebb and flow from day to day, hour to hour, even minute to minute.  That is normal!

The fact that you are experiencing times (whether long or short) when you are feeling "better" is very encouraging.  You just need to continue to patiently wait.  Please try not to worry needlessly.  You will feel better!

[[Li...]]

On 09/08/2024 at 10:58, [[P...] said:

We all obsess over this process, its normal so please don't think what you're dealing with is anything out of the ordinary.  We know its scary but your fear is being manufactured by the drug and when I finally realized this I started saying a sort of mantra out loud.  This isn't real, its not me and when I recover, I'll be okay.  

Now is the time to research ways to calm yourself, if meditation and breathing don't work for you, try to find other techniques, and find ways to distract yourself from your thoughts.  You're not sick, you don't have an incurable disease, you have a medication injury that can heal.

As for taking the drug longer by doing a slow taper, many have worried about this but as long as you're tapering, you're going in the right direction. 

Thank you.  I am eating a bit again. I'm loosing weight wayy to fast. Is this dangerous? I have been eating 

[[Li...]]

On 09/08/2024 at 10:58, [[P...] said:

We all obsess over this process, its normal so please don't think what you're dealing with is anything out of the ordinary.  We know its scary but your fear is being manufactured by the drug and when I finally realized this I started saying a sort of mantra out loud.  This isn't real, its not me and when I recover, I'll be okay.  

Now is the time to research ways to calm yourself, if meditation and breathing don't work for you, try to find other techniques, and find ways to distract yourself from your thoughts.  You're not sick, you don't have an incurable disease, you have a medication injury that can heal.

As for taking the drug longer by doing a slow taper, many have worried about this but as long as you're tapering, you're going in the right direction. 

I also had a question about kindling. I haven't drank in 6 years, but because of my alcohol consumption in the past, I'm hoping this isn't kindling? I have also taken benzos before this, but only Here and there, dentist appointment, court dates, flights, etc. never days at a time. Im wondering if this is playing a role? 

[[Pa...]]

16 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Thank you.  I am eating a bit again. I'm loosing weight wayy to fast. Is this dangerous? I have been eating 

Most of us struggle with weight loss but as long as you're getting some nutrients, you'll be okay.  Just keep finding food you can tolerate and force down, that's what I did. 

[[Pa...]]

8 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I also had a question about kindling. I haven't drank in 6 years, but because of my alcohol consumption in the past, I'm hoping this isn't kindling? I have also taken benzos before this, but only Here and there, dentist appointment, court dates, flights, etc. never days at a time. Im wondering if this is playing a role? 

Its tough to say, since kindling in relationship to benzodiazepines is considered a theory I don't think we can definitively conclude anything, but I know what you mean, I have a history of alcohol abuse and have wondered about it. 

[[El...]]

@[Li...] I would agree with @[Pa...].  I do not think you can conclusively say that you are experiencing a kindling effect.  But whether you are or not does change your present circumstances. Unfortunately, the past cannot be altered. So, by worrying and fretting about it, you are proceeding along another avenue of catastrophic thinking.

However, since the possibility does exist, it should certainly be a factor to be considered when you begin to plan your taper. If kindling is a factor, I think most would advise starting with a slow and, certainly, a symptom-led taper. Please don’t let this trouble or discourage you! You are doing well to recognize its potential impact and now you can make a well-educated taper plan.

Regarding your weight loss. I lost nearly 20 pounds in the initial months of my taper. I was eating as normal, but the weight just came off. I have regained about 4-5 pounds. As long as you are eating a healthy diet and are adequately hydrated, I would not worry about it. It just seems be another side effect of benzo use and cessation for some of us.

Please keep focusing on how well you have improved in just the space of 1 week. All these fears that encompass you are just part of the “gift” of benzo use and withdrawal! You ARE getting better and you ARE more stable each day.

 

[[Li...]]

18 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] I would agree with @[Pa...].  I do not think you can conclusively say that you are experiencing a kindling effect.  But whether you are or not does change your present circumstances. Unfortunately, the past cannot be altered. So, by worrying and fretting about it, you are proceeding along another avenue of catastrophic thinking.

However, since the possibility does exist, it should certainly be a factor to be considered when you begin to plan your taper. If kindling is a factor, I think most would advise starting with a slow and, certainly, a symptom-led taper. Please don’t let this trouble or discourage you! You are doing well to recognize its potential impact and now you can make a well-educated taper plan.

Regarding your weight loss. I lost nearly 20 pounds in the initial months of my taper. I was eating as normal, but the weight just came off. I have regained about 4-5 pounds. As long as you are eating a healthy diet and are adequately hydrated, I would not worry about it. It just seems be another side effect of benzo use and cessation for some of us.

Please keep focusing on how well you have improved in just the space of 1 week. All these fears that encompass you are just part of the “gift” of benzo use and withdrawal! You ARE getting better and you ARE more stable each day.

Do you think sleep plays a role in this? I'm barely sleeping?

[[Li...]]

26 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Its tough to say, since kindling in relationship to benzodiazepines is considered a theory I don't think we can definitively conclude anything, but I know what you mean, I have a history of alcohol abuse and have wondered about it. 

Thank you for always Replying.  I so need the support right now. I certainly hope I'm not. 

[[Li...]]

1 hour ago, [[P...] said:

Its tough to say, since kindling in relationship to benzodiazepines is considered a theory I don't think we can definitively conclude anything, but I know what you mean, I have a history of alcohol abuse and have wondered about it. 

Thank you.  I also want to mention things that are coming up that I don't think I've mentioned. I do have a lot of Trauma from childhood, etc,  Idk if this will make things worse. I've kind of always had waves of depression and anxiety bad, only when a big stressor hits my life. I also have attachment Trauma I believe. 

[[Pa...]]

If only we could get enough sleep to help our body recover from this nightmare but that's not the way this works.  But somehow @[Li...], we manage to recover even while our body is screaming for more sleep.

Intrusive thoughts are common while going through this, I used to beat myself up every day, the regrets and blame I heaped on myself was suffocating but its the drug.  Even if you had a perfect childhood and life, the drug would find ways to make you miserable so try not to dwell on the past, when you recover, it will fade and you'll once again be able to live with it. 

[[Li...]]

10 hours ago, [[P...] said:

If only we could get enough sleep to help our body recover from this nightmare but that's not the way this works.  But somehow @[Li...], we manage to recover even while our body is screaming for more sleep.

Intrusive thoughts are common while going through this, I used to beat myself up every day, the regrets and blame I heaped on myself was suffocating but its the drug.  Even if you had a perfect childhood and life, the drug would find ways to make you miserable so try not to dwell on the past, when you recover, it will fade and you'll once again be able to live with it. 

Thank you so much again. The anxiety has lifted a bit I'm concerned about rapid weight loss even when I eat.  I don't have a lot of muscle mass to begin with. Night sweats wake me up

[[Pa...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

Thank you so much again. The anxiety has lifted a bit I'm concerned about rapid weight loss even when I eat.  I don't have a lot of muscle mass to begin with. Night sweats wake me up

Have you bought some liquid drinks full of vitamins and protein, they have sugar free available.  I lived on peanut butter, that was one of the only things I could gag down, its hard to do when your mouth is dry. 

[[Li...]]

52 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Have you bought some liquid drinks full of vitamins and protein, they have sugar free available.  I lived on peanut butter, that was one of the only things I could gag down, its hard to do when your mouth is dry. 

Buying them today. Is it not ok to have sugar? 

[[Pa...]]

42 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Buying them today. Is it not ok to have sugar? 

Sugar can affect some members negatively, it never did me but wanted to mention it in case you might be sensitive to it, then of course, there are other health issues affected by sugar. 

[[Li...]]

20 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Sugar can affect some members negatively, it never did me but wanted to mention it in case you might be sensitive to it, then of course, there are other health issues affected by sugar. 

Hi Pam. Any experience as to sweating at night? Everytime I fall asleep I sweat. Was just concerned because I haven't tapered yet. 

[[Li...]]

I also have no relief after my doses now. Might be tolerance? I'm getting so depressed as to what to do at this point 

[[Pa...]]

10 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Hi Pam. Any experience as to sweating at night? Everytime I fall asleep I sweat. Was just concerned because I haven't tapered yet. 

I don't remember sweating being an issue, but I certainly know about night sweats, ugh, I hate waking up drenched.  

[[Pa...]]

6 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I also have no relief after my doses now. Might be tolerance? I'm getting so depressed as to what to do at this point 

Can you remind me of your status @[Li...], what is your current dose, how many times a day do you take a dose and how long have you been on this schedule?

[[Li...]]

1 minute ago, [[P...] said:

Can you remind me of your status @[Li...], what is your current dose, how many times a day do you take a dose and how long have you been on this schedule?

I dose 3x a day at  0.5 every 8 hours. A total of 1.5.mg a day. Its been about a week 

[[Pa...]]

Do you feel you've achieved a fairly steady state dosing 3 times a day, I realize you're miserable but are you consistently miserable?  

[[Li...]]

3 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Do you feel you've achieved a fairly steady state dosing 3 times a day, I realize you're miserable but are you consistently miserable?  

Pretty much. It's the constant ruminations/ fear.  I'm hoping I can stabilize more or is that even possible at this point?