Help please

[[Li...]]

5 hours ago, [[P...] said:

You haven’t tapered but you’ve been unstable, that’s all that’s required to produce symptoms.  You mentioned in your first post that Ativan didn’t really help and between doses you’d been feeling anxious and depressed so the drug has never really worked for you. 

As for depression, it sounds like what you’ve experienced is pretty much what we all so, so I’m unsure if upping your dose of Paxil would be advantageous. 

I think I spoke too soon. I have swollen lymph nodes now and ringing in my ear. Not a good day. Did I drop to much to stabilize ? 

[[Pa...]]

35 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

I think I spoke too soon. I have swollen lymph nodes now and ringing in my ear. Not a good day. Did I drop to much to stabilize ? 

Is your current dose 1.5/3 times a day?  

[[Li...]]

1 minute ago, [[P...] said:

Is your current dose 1.5/3 times a day?  

Yes. In and out of waves

[[Pa...]]

At this point, rather than increasing your dose, it might be better to hold and wait for your symptoms settle, there was always a question of whether 1.5 mg was going to be enough.  If you can endure it, I think holding is a good idea.  

Your new symptoms are common ones, tinnitus is rampant around here and I’ve seen members write about swollen glands.  The trick is not to get riled up each time a new symptom shows up, I know that’s asking a lot but when we worry, our symptoms worsen.  

 

 

[[Li...]]

14 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

At this point, rather than increasing your dose, it might be better to hold and wait for your symptoms settle, there was always a question of whether 1.5 mg was going to be enough.  If you can endure it, I think holding is a good idea.  

Your new symptoms are common ones, tinnitus is rampant around here and I’ve seen members write about swollen glands.  The trick is not to get riled up each time a new symptom shows up, I know that’s asking a lot but when we worry, our symptoms worsen.  

I don't want to go up in dose.  I've had a window for the past 5 hours and feel better. This is so weird and sneaky. Who knows what's next. I'm hoping it will get better because of my windows. 

[[Bo...]]

18 hours ago, [[L...] said:

How Long were you on them ? and how long did it take you to taper? I hope you're feeling better 

I was on 1 mg ativan for 6 months and  0.5 mg of xanax for 3 months. It took me 8 weeks to taper. The taper was rough. 

[[vo...]]

7 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I don't want to go up in dose.  I've had a window for the past 5 hours and feel better. This is so weird and sneaky. Who knows what's next. I'm hoping it will get better because of my windows. 

@[Li...] Stay on track with what you're doing. No one knows what will happen next, but there is only one way out of this - to continue to cut at whatever your recommended cuts are. You know you may experience withdrawal symptoms. Just accept that, no matter how uncomfortable those symptoms may be and keep moving forward. The prize is on the other side - free of the horrible drugs. You will win in the end!

[[Li...]]

On 05/08/2024 at 19:41, [[P...] said:

At this point, rather than increasing your dose, it might be better to hold and wait for your symptoms settle, there was always a question of whether 1.5 mg was going to be enough.  If you can endure it, I think holding is a good idea.  

Your new symptoms are common ones, tinnitus is rampant around here and I’ve seen members write about swollen glands.  The trick is not to get riled up each time a new symptom shows up, I know that’s asking a lot but when we worry, our symptoms worsen.  

Hi Pam, I'm a little better today. I was just curious if anyone was able to successfully taper from Ativan because of interdose? I'm hoping I don't have to do a ccrossover because of Interdose? 

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Hi Pam, I'm a little better today. I was just curious if anyone was able to successfully taper from Ativan because of interdose? I'm hoping I don't have to do a ccrossover because of Interdose? 

Good to hear @[Li...], I'm always amazed when members can recognize improvement, my poor sick brain never allowed me to see it.

We actually have more members taper from their original benzo than cross over so you have a very good chance of tapering your way to freedom. 

[[Li...]]

7 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Good to hear @[Li...], I'm always amazed when members can recognize improvement, my poor sick brain never allowed me to see it.

We actually have more members taper from their original benzo than cross over so you have a very good chance of tapering your way to freedom. 

Update:  Aug 6th:  Night time: still wake up every 2 hours sweating. panick isnt as bad but all I am is tired and just want to lay down.  Anxiety at 9,10,11, AM maybe 10 percent less , but less.. it comes the worst when I try to work, at 11 A.M. I drive for a living right now doing door dash, so I have the ability to stop when I want. Usually 2 hours max. Going in the stores to pick up an order is a trigger, so is driving, but being idle in the car is usually fine but i have  ruminations.  Buying stuff at the store was extremely overwhelming, too many people and hearing people talk felt like insanity. Home and better by 3 PM mentally. Weak muscles every day, and they change areas every day ( I can tolerate that). 3pm  Mentally, so much better. Issues i see daily is daytime, stores, cars, hours from 11-3 being the worst today.  3-8 PM windows and more focus but I still don't want to leave the house and just lay down all day but I do get up.   LAST NIGHT: Middle of the night: hardest. no sleep but not sweating as much. I'm  up every 2 hours with disoration upon awakening and anxiety about this process. I  can't go into a deep sleep or relax. obsessing about dosing and withdrawal.   6AM Today:  Just so sad that I have no joy and I can't get moving.. Thank you again. I believe I'm seeing a little bit of progress but that's only when I'm home. 

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

I like that you're so observant and self aware, using these observations when you begin your taper will be useful.

You're amazing to keep working, I was afraid to drive too and being around people was so hard but I had no choice, I had to work, just like you do.  

Being obsessed with this process in normal, we can't seem to focus on anything else which when people say we need to distract, it sounds impossible.  I'm glad your home is a safe space for you. 

[[Li...]]

I seem to come in and out of it even when I dose. any chance this is a paradox reaction?? 

[[Li...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

I seem to come in and out of it even when I dose. any chance this is a paradox reaction?? 

I also see a pattern:  AUG 7TH AM. Hard mornings because I don't want to face anyone or the day,  yet I miss getting out.. 10 AM:  Volunteer work with the cats. It flew me into a panick with intense intrusive thoughts.  functional more at home, maybe?  I'm so scared to sleep in my own bedroom.  Way better today at 2 on its 8pm now. Was able to connect to my boyfriend.                                                                      Aug 8th: Last night, still sweating may be from paxil but less anxiety, and a bit more sleep. Morning:  less anxiety but still fatigue. I see improvement of 15 percent, maybe in the AM Today.  Songs stuck in my head. Depression in the AM..  1:30PM had a panick attack while driving again. Couldn't handle being in my body. 2:00 dosed at  home and  better. Only able to feel safe and focus at home. There's maybe something connected to the 2:00  dose.That makes me feel better throughout the rest of the day.? Or it could just be coming home. Feeling better everyday at this time. The others doses do not have Is the same effect.

[[El...]]

@[Li...] Others can correct me if I am wrong, but I would very highly doubt that you are having a paradoxical reaction. From “Paradoxical Reactions to Benzodiazepines: Literature Review and Treatment Options” (Pharmacotherapy, Volume 24, Issue 9)…”Paradoxical reactions to benzodiazepines, characterized by increased talkativeness, emotional release, excitement, and excessive movement, are relatively uncommon and occur in less than 1% of patients.”

I think it is more likely that you are still unstable and engaging in catastrophic thinking. You are going to have ups and downs along this journey. Some days, hours, minutes you feel like you are approching “normality” and the next day, hour, minute you are in the midst of symptom “overload”. It is completely normal for this to happen. You need to continue to wait, give your body time, and be patient. You are improving!

 

 

[[Li...]]

3 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

@[Li...] Others can correct me if I am wrong, but I would very highly doubt that you are having a paradoxical reaction. From “Paradoxical Reactions to Benzodiazepines: Literature Review and Treatment Options” (Pharmacotherapy, Volume 24, Issue 9)…”Paradoxical reactions to benzodiazepines, characterized by increased talkativeness, emotional release, excitement, and excessive movement, are relatively uncommon and occur in less than 1% of patients.”

I think it is more likely that you are still unstable and engaging in catastrophic thinking. You are going to have ups and downs along this journey. Some days, hours, minutes you feel like you are approching “normality” and the next day, hour, minute you are in the midst of symptom “overload”. It is completely normal for this to happen. You need to continue to wait, give your body time, and be patient. You are improving!

Thank you.  I always feel better from 2ish pm on. Today is even better but only in that time frame. I wonder if it's that dose I take at 2 or just being home. 

[[Pa...]]

Have we discussed morning cortisol surges @[Li...], most of our members feel awful in the morning so it makes sense 2:00 pm.  And I wanted to tell you that home was my sanctuary too, that darn fear seeps into everything while we go through this.

Its good to see you taking care of kitties, I hope you can keep getting out, its important to try and preserve the life you hope to step back into when you recover.

And by the way, I agree with @[El...], a lot of members suspect paradoxical reactions but its just the nature of our sensitized central nervous system. 

[[Li...]]

26 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Have we discussed morning cortisol surges @[Li...], most of our members feel awful in the morning so it makes sense 2:00 pm.  And I wanted to tell you that home was my sanctuary too, that darn fear seeps into everything while we go through this.

Its good to see you taking care of kitties, I hope you can keep getting out, its important to try and preserve the life you hope to step back into when you recover.

And by the way, I agree with @[El...], a lot of members suspect paradoxical reactions but its just the nature of our sensitized central nervous system. 

Night isn't getting better. I close my eyes sleep for 5 minutes and wake up sweating? Very scary. ? 

[[Li...]]

2 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Night isn't getting better. I close my eyes sleep for 5 minutes and wake up sweating? Very scary. ?  I can't even get an hour in tonight. 

 

[[Li...]]

26 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

29 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Night isn't getting better. I close my eyes sleep for 5 minutes and wake up sweating? Very scary. ?  I can't even get an hour in tonight. Such a bad Night. Do you think o will stabilize? I thought I was doing better 😔 

 

[[De...]]

Hi Lily,

Can I ask if you have people around you to support you? Are you doing this all on your own?

[[Li...]]

7 minutes ago, [[D...] said:

Hi Lily,

Can I ask if you have people around you to support you? Are you doing this all on your own?

Only at night

[[Li...]]

 

Will i be ok

[[De...]]

Yea, the primary reason I ask is because you’ve mentioned a few times in this thread you’re experiencing extreme anxiety and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone and felt safe. This process is so unbelievably hard and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Having people around can make all the difference when you’re in a really bad wave. 

[[De...]]

7 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Will i be ok

Yes, you will be ok. You’re not going to die and you’re not going to go crazy. It will pass, I PROMISE. I was in your shoes not that long ago and it gets much better.

[[Li...]]

9 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Have we discussed morning cortisol surges @[Li...], most of our members feel awful in the morning so it makes sense 2:00 pm.  And I wanted to tell you that home was my sanctuary too, that darn fear seeps into everything while we go through this.

Its good to see you taking care of kitties, I hope you can keep getting out, its important to try and preserve the life you hope to step back into when you recover.

And by the way, I agree with @[El...], a lot of members suspect paradoxical reactions but its just the nature of our sensitized central nervous system. 

Thank you for staying in touch. I'm sorry sometimes I just have to keep writing because I'm so scared. I barely sleep so that leaves me not very functional. My next concern is doing a slow taper. Only because it will leave me on this drug longer then I've been on it. Which means more dependency.. Sometimes I can't see myself stabilizing because the obessing about this process is killing me and I can't shake it. I don't want to go to detox but sometimes i think about it because right at this second at times I don't know how to handle every second of thinking about dosing, tapering, etc, I have my alarm set on my phone as to when to dose and it's becoming so daunting and scary. Its consuming my life