Need help for very long, very high Ativan taper

[[Ia...]]

Hello. I’ve been looking at the site for years, but I wasn’t ready to taper because I am a single mom and have no support and worried about losing my kids by being in withdrawal. 

I am 10 MG of Ativan a day. I take this dose in 2mgs five times a day. I’ve been on 10 md/day since 2016. (8 years at this dose.) But I’ve been on Ativan since a doctor put me on it in 2013 starting w 2mg/day. So actually I’ve been on Ativan 11 years. (2-10 mg 2013 to 2016 then steady at this dose.) I have never been a drug taker. And do not drink. I never had an addictive personality before the doctor put me on this drug. I cried for two days before he put me on, even though I had no idea what a benzo was. I was just very scared of any medications because I had many adverse reactions to meds.

I tried five years ago to go down just 2% within one week, while driving I suddenly felt the extreme withdrawal effects and I almost crashed my car with my kids in it on the highway. After that i was so traumatized I decided to wait till my kids are grown, out if the house to get off of Ativan. I’m a very good mother. 

I’m on no other drugs except for HRT because I’m in perimenopause. (Progesterone and testosterone cream.)

This month for the first time in my life, I’ve had four anxiety panic attacks. (I haven’t had one bout of anxiety on Ativan and I wasn’t put on it for psych reasons.) and they are getting closer together. Since I started Ativan, I’ve never had one about of anxiety or panic,  which leads me to believe I’m starting to tolerance able to wait until my 11-year-old is out of the house. (I have two kids 11 and 13 and I’m their soul provider/caretaker.) i’m also under an extremely amount of stress and I also heard that perimenopause and your hormones dropping can also cause anxiety attacks. I’m like the perfect storm.

I am terrified of losing my kids by not being able to care for them. Since I’ve been on 10 MG’s, I’ve been asymptomatic. I’ve been very blessed with a normal life, and I was able to raise my kids. We are a happy well adjusted family.

I have a job. I have a house. We have a life. I’m trying my best to write this without emotion  (in reality I’m in absolute terror of losing my kids and a long painful withdraw.)

The reason I was put on such a high dose because I had very serious multiple chemical sensitivities as well as emf sensitivities. Presently, I’m also getting off a year long bought w crippling chronic fatigue from long COVID.

I know that i do not process pharmaceuticals well and am a sluggish detoxer. I am so sensitive I have my Ativan made in a compounding pharmacy with no fillers. They make a power and put it into capsules. This may make it easier to taper.  

because I had long covid I was able to find out I had a very sluggish lymphatic system (via thermography) and overwhelmed liver. But it should be better now? This week I was greenlighted for the first time in a year to work out  (I regressed every time I tried to exercise w long covid when I was sick.) Normally, I am a healthy, fit health conscious 52 year old with arthritis (lifelong.)

I need a taper schedule and I have the Ashton manual memorized. I’m afraid I won’t be able to even do 5% a month. I have to take care of kids at the same time. I have to go very very slow. Can anybody help me w a tapering schedule?

I'm worried all the tapering spreadsheets j made are like decades long. Who can survive that???? 

I beg you for your help w a schedule. As I said, I wanted to wait another seven years until my daughter went to college to taper but now that I’m starting to have anxiety, I’m assuming I’m going into tolerance and I have to start tapering now before it gets worse

i don’t know what to do. 
 

 

 

 

[[Ct...]]

My heart goes out to you @[Ia...]. Possibly @[El...] is available to help you. She is very knowledgeable about tapering Ativan.

[[kn...]]

Yes, Ellie M. saved me by her easily understood and valuable tapering instructions. I took healthy doses of both Klonopin and Ativan for thirty years. Having said that, the medication helped me get through two careers and a long trek with cancer. I’m now 73 and been tapering for three years.  Nearly finished, though at low doses it’s very slow going. My psych crossed me over to an equal dosage of diazepam in the beginning and I started down from there.  Diazepam pills are larger and easily cut or shaved to size.  You’re at a high dose and this is indeed going to be a project.  But done correctly, you can have a life and taper safely at the same time.

[[Ia...]]

9 minutes ago, [[k...] said:

Yes, Ellie M. saved me by her easily understood and valuable tapering instructions. I took healthy doses of both Klonopin and Ativan for thirty years. Having said that, the medication helped me get through two careers and a long trek with cancer. I’m now 73 and been tapering for three years.  Nearly finished, though at low doses it’s very slow going. My psych crossed me over to an equal dosage of diazepam in the beginning and I started down from there.  Diazepam pills are larger and easily cut or shaved to size.  You’re at a high dose and this is indeed going to be a project.  But done correctly, you can have a life and taper safely at the same time.

Thank you so much for responding nobody else did and I’m really scared. I feel like I’m in the same boat you were.

Ativan  has worked very well for me, as I kept my symptoms of sensitivities away while allowing me to have a normal life, raising my kids, even though they’re still only 11 and 13. 

did you move over to diazepam from the very start or did you go down a little first?

Were you able to have a life when you tapered and how much did you go down at a time? 

I value your response thank you so much. 

[[Ia...]]

1 hour ago, [[C...] said:

My heart goes out to you @[Ia...]. Possibly @[El...] is available to help you. She is very knowledgeable about tapering Ativan.

Thank you for your heartfelt response. I’m almost obsessed because I can’t stop thinking of the predicament I’m in. It’s giving me horrible stress. Your message is highly appreciated. 

[[kn...]]

I was able to do the Diazepam cross over with no ill effects right from the start. However, this is not true for everyone. Ashton mentions this scenario early on in her manual. Don’t be alarmed if your provider starts you out at a high dosage. I had been taking 4 mgs of Klonopin and 1mg of Ativan and the equivalent dosage of Diazepam  was 60 mgs.  If this is to overwhelming, you can still stay with the Ativan.  Diazepam is a bit more forgiving.  It’s half life is about ten days.  At that equivalent high dosage of D, You can make larger cuts with a pill cutter for awhile.  You’ll need to keep a close eye on the rate your provider wants to travel. Everyone responds differently. If you go down too fast (I did) you’ll hit the wall and be unable to stabilize.  With two oncoming teenagers, and a job to boot, you might want to stick to 10% or even 5 every 4 wks. Ashton says 10, but I couldn’t hack it and had to slow down to 5. You’ll need to buy a scale sooner than later. Gemini via Amazon is what most here use.  It needs to be able to measure milligrams. Shaving the pills is done with a good nail file. The actual tapering regimen isn’t difficult, but too lengthy to for this post.  It’s not my area of expertise, so I trust another member to pick things up from here.  In the meantime, download Ashton (free to the public) and try to get your provider on board with all of this. That’s easier said than done.  Another story for another time. Quality of life is more important than speed of taper. You do not want to have to put out a rescue horror story.  Best of luck in this. Members here know far more about this than anyone else.  I’d stick with BB and stay off the medical advice on the internet. 

[[Bu...]]

12 hours ago, [[I...] said:

Hello. I’ve been looking at the site for years, but I wasn’t ready to taper because I am a single mom and have no support and worried about losing my kids by being in withdrawal. 

I am 10 MG of Ativan a day. I take this dose in 2mgs five times a day. I’ve been on 10 md/day since 2016. (8 years at this dose.) But I’ve been on Ativan since a doctor put me on it in 2013 starting w 2mg/day. So actually I’ve been on Ativan 11 years. (2-10 mg 2013 to 2016 then steady at this dose.) I have never been a drug taker. And do not drink. I never had an addictive personality before the doctor put me on this drug. I cried for two days before he put me on, even though I had no idea what a benzo was. I was just very scared of any medications because I had many adverse reactions to meds.

I tried five years ago to go down just 2% within one week, while driving I suddenly felt the extreme withdrawal effects and I almost crashed my car with my kids in it on the highway. After that i was so traumatized I decided to wait till my kids are grown, out if the house to get off of Ativan. I’m a very good mother. 

I’m on no other drugs except for HRT because I’m in perimenopause. (Progesterone and testosterone cream.)

This month for the first time in my life, I’ve had four anxiety panic attacks. (I haven’t had one bout of anxiety on Ativan and I wasn’t put on it for psych reasons.) and they are getting closer together. Since I started Ativan, I’ve never had one about of anxiety or panic,  which leads me to believe I’m starting to tolerance able to wait until my 11-year-old is out of the house. (I have two kids 11 and 13 and I’m their soul provider/caretaker.) i’m also under an extremely amount of stress and I also heard that perimenopause and your hormones dropping can also cause anxiety attacks. I’m like the perfect storm.

I am terrified of losing my kids by not being able to care for them. Since I’ve been on 10 MG’s, I’ve been asymptomatic. I’ve been very blessed with a normal life, and I was able to raise my kids. We are a happy well adjusted family.

I have a job. I have a house. We have a life. I’m trying my best to write this without emotion  (in reality I’m in absolute terror of losing my kids and a long painful withdraw.)

The reason I was put on such a high dose because I had very serious multiple chemical sensitivities as well as emf sensitivities. Presently, I’m also getting off a year long bought w crippling chronic fatigue from long COVID.

I know that i do not process pharmaceuticals well and am a sluggish detoxer. I am so sensitive I have my Ativan made in a compounding pharmacy with no fillers. They make a power and put it into capsules. This may make it easier to taper.  

because I had long covid I was able to find out I had a very sluggish lymphatic system (via thermography) and overwhelmed liver. But it should be better now? This week I was greenlighted for the first time in a year to work out  (I regressed every time I tried to exercise w long covid when I was sick.) Normally, I am a healthy, fit health conscious 52 year old with arthritis (lifelong.)

I need a taper schedule and I have the Ashton manual memorized. I’m afraid I won’t be able to even do 5% a month. I have to take care of kids at the same time. I have to go very very slow. Can anybody help me w a tapering schedule?

I'm worried all the tapering spreadsheets j made are like decades long. Who can survive that???? 

I beg you for your help w a schedule. As I said, I wanted to wait another seven years until my daughter went to college to taper but now that I’m starting to have anxiety, I’m assuming I’m going into tolerance and I have to start tapering now before it gets worse

i don’t know what to do. 
 

 

I had pre existing fatigue from long covid and ended up doing a CT  from 3.5 weeks zopiclone use. I developed tolerance to it after three weeks I also have chemical sensitivity. 
 

My physical symptoms are off the scale for the last two months and my husband now cares for both me and my daughter. Psych symptoms are worse.

If I knew them what I do now I would have definitely tried to taper.

I think you have come to the right place for help. There may be no way of avoiding some difficult symptoms or you might be absolutely fine . No one can really say. 

I’m jealous of those who taper as they have some control over their withdrawal. 

people here seem to have a lot of experience and good advice about tapering 

I wish you all the best with your recovery 
 

 

[[El...]]

@[Ia...]  A couple of people have asked me to stop by. First, I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation. And, yes, tapering can be challenging, but it is very doable if taken slowly and with patience.

I guess my first advise would be to take your focus off the calender and concentrate on small accomplishments. You are very fortunate that you have a compounding pharmacy to custom-make your doses. Since a 2% reduction was not tolerable, perhaps you could start with a more modest 1% reduction. If your pharmacy could make capsules of 0.9 mg (in addition to your 1 mg capsules), you could start with dosing 2mg/2mg/1.9mg/2mg/2mg. Hold that dosing schedule for as long as you need to feel stable and then able to reduce another dose to say, for example, 2mg/1.9mg/1.9mg/2mg/2mg. Continue until all doses are 1.9 mg. That will be a 5% reduction with each individual reduction occurring as fast or as slowly as you need them to be to remain functional and “well”.

I don’t know how you are spacing your doses, but I find it very important to evenly space doses to keep my blood serum levels constant. If you do so, this will involve getting up in the night. If you find it challenging to get up at night, perhaps you could try dosing 4 times per day to start at 2.5mg/2.5mg/2.5mg/2.5mg. These doses could be spread 6 hours apart. When stable on this dosing schedule, your 1% reduction would then first look like this: 2.5mg/2.45mg/2.45mg/2.5mg…then 2.45mg/2.45mg/2.45mg/2.45mg. Your pharmacy would need to provide 1 mg, 0.5 mg and 0.45 mg capsules for this plan.

Please do not be disheartened by your current symptoms or the thought of a potentially lengthy taper. Any small goal reached is a tremendous achievement.

Let me know how you feel about the above ideas. I could provide an even more modest plan of 0.5% reductions if you think it might be more tolerable.

Hope you are well today and I am looking forward to hearing from you!

 

[[ba...]]

Please prepare yourself with coping techniques, gathering information, and starting practices that are beneficial to your system before tapering. You will need to start daily practice of breathing exercises, tolerable exercise, distractions, and meditation/mindfullness. It is a fact that any activity or practice that calms the body will calm the mind.

1. A great starting point is yoga. You do not have to be athletic to do it. Chair yoga is a great place to start. Learn the breathing techniques.  It is best to set a practice time daily. 30 minutes of gentle motion that you can  tolerate with emphasis on breathing will aid you tremendously. The body likes motion. In my opinion breathing exercises combined with movement that feels good is the most impotant resource one can engage in for settling down an overexcited CNS.

2. Look at your diet. Start removing all processed food. You do not need to follow any special diet. However, additives, added sugar, and chemicals in most processed food are not your friend. Start eating as clean as possible. If you enjoy caffeine, you can keep it, but start reducing the amount. Think in terms of a diet that gives you all the nutrients you need. Anything you start eating and cant stop is probably a bad food for you (like chips, cookies, whatever) Again, dont get drastic, start working into it.

3. Research legitimate well written content on what tapering and withdraw will look like. The Ashton Manuel is very good. If you find a resource, andit scares you, drop it. Research is to  intended to prepare you for the process, help you make good choices, and not be scared when you start to experience symptoms that are new, or very unpleasant.

This is comprehensive for coping techniques, each section has instructions and guidance;

https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org/page/coping-techniques-z?fbclid=IwY2xjawEVETBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHWIEPu5ZCa_gXXvJ7KR2l-W4YERqAJ9RPaBvkYHVovHFGTal85BXrINiCQ_aem_Da1EORdn4ObiR_lCbhPRxQ

4. Start paring back on any responsibilities that are not crucial. You will need to remove as much stres as possible. Stress is inevitable, but clearing our calenders with the non essentials will give you more quiet time.

Give yourself a month to start practicing these activities. It takes 30 days to form a habit. You can now start looking at tapering options win a prepared state, already engaged in those things on a daily basis. You will have done the work that you can do without any other medications that will see you through this.

Best of Luck.