Ugh - hold on a micro taper. Not what I wanted, but I guess what I need.

[[Os...]]

9 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Well I started following Maudsley slowest taper rate about three weeks ago -- dropped from one mg a month to .5 mg a month as based on my background I would be high risk. It's no better. Maybe worse. I am at 11.5

I’m sorry to hear that it’s worse. I’ve noticed sometimes there are speedbump dosage changes. It might not always be as hard. I applaud you for your progress and your patience. I definitely went too fast from 5-1.5 mg, and I don’t know if I’ve ever really caught up from that, because I never held steady for longer than a week. Any day I feel a little better, I knock down 0.01mg. It seems so small, but that continuous reduction is like a trail of unknown symptom intensity that follows me all the way down. 
 

Hang in there

[[Ca...]]

I go down either .01 or .02 every day. It alternates.Symptoms are really bad both physically and mentally. It's relentless. If you went too fast at least you got down. Sometimes I think these long tapers make things worse. I have been in tolerance withdrawal for 2.5 years. Fourteen seemed to be a bad tipping point for me. WHen I started I could drive and go grocery shopping.

[[Os...]]

Update:

Last night, I arrived at 0.5mg. Actual pill weight 43mg of diazepam. Part of me feels a huge sense of accomplishment, but part of me knows the journey still has a ways to go. I have muscle aches, some sleep issues, mild depression, mild dizziness, but nothing is horrible, and I can usually tolerate it all ok. Some days are harder than others, and those are the days I hold dosage. I'm really focusing on symptom-led pacing. I had a really bad wave at the beginning of the week, but then a wonderful 2-day window where I felt like my old self. It was a great reminder that somewhere inside this benzo shitshow is the old me. Cheerful, motivated, happy. He's still here. And he's worth waiting for.

Hang in there friends, we can all do this. Together.

[[Pa...]]

This is a great update, yes, you're dealing with symptoms but you appear to be rolling with them and you've been rewarded with some windows, I'm so glad. To be able to get a glimpse of the old you while tapering is huge!