not stabilising

[[An...]]

How long after a cut do you stabilise. I’m not stabilising but I continued to cut, I’ve cut 3.75mgs of Valium in 6 weeks. It’s been 4 weeks since my last 0.65 cut.  And I’m so sick/depressed/anxious. I can’t afford to updose as I don’t have the pills, I can hold here for a while, when should I stabalise ? 
 

currently on 10 mgs 

Edited July 22 by [An...]

[[or...]]

Hi @[An...]

How much did you taper? I'll go see if you have your History of Taper on your profile

[[or...]]

Ok, this will help me and others to see what we can suggest   It takes different amounts of time to feel stable for me for example. Sometimes, I don't feel super good, and I always still have some level of wd sxs.

Here's what you have in your profile's history tab:

"Been of Valium for 7 years, towards the end of my Valium use I was taking 250mgs per day. Started my taper around June 2023 done rapid cuts then held each time: towards the end now going slower. Currently july 2024 on 10mgs diazepam".

Let's talk when you get here.  Maybe your next cut needs to be smaller than this recent one, oregonlady

Edited July 22 by [or...]

[[An...]]

4 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

Hi @[An...]

How much did you taper? I'll go see if you have your History of Taper on your profile

Hey! Thanks so much for your reply; I was taking 250 mgs of diazepam. I have been on benzos for nearly 7 years but I did taper off and stay off for 1 year in between the 7 years. The second time round I started abusing them at much higher doses so this time round coming off has been much harder. I don’t have plans on cutting anytime soon until I feel mentally and physically able to cut as I’m really unwell. How is your taper going? Would love to hear your story 

[[or...]]

Just now, [[A...] said:

Hey! Thanks so much for your reply; I was taking 250 mgs of diazepam. I have been on benzos for nearly 7 years but I did taper off and stay off for 1 year in between the 7 years. The second time round I started abusing them at much higher doses so this time round coming off has been much harder. I don’t have plans on cutting anytime soon until I feel mentally and physically able to cut as I’m really unwell. How is your taper going? Would love to hear your story 

That's a little overwhelming for me to type it all out, but it is in my History, and About Me.  I think that will tell you quite a lot.

I'm good, out running errands, taking care of myself, well able but I'm doing just a 5% cut about 2 to 3 times a month. started out much slower than that, but wanted as much quality of Life (feel-good) as I could get

Here's my History link, and a short write up in the About Me oregonlady

[[An...]]

11 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

That's a little overwhelming for me to type it all out, but it is in my History, and About Me.  I think that will tell you quite a lot.

I'm good, out running errands, taking care of myself, well able but I'm doing just a 5% cut about 2 to 3 times a month. started out much slower than that, but wanted as much quality of Life (feel-good) as I could get

Here's my History link, and a short write up in the About Me oregonlady

I just had a read, and I also had a read on what benzos do, and withdrawal. Thank you for being such great support, comforting to have someone like you in this group. I was going to do a long hold? But after having a read on what benzos do, I’m thinking of continuing my taper as slow as possible, I think my cuts have been way to big and fast. 

[[or...]]

I should ask how long your holding along with how large a taper?  I don't cut again if my symptoms are unmanageable, or maybe better to say if I just don't feel like I could handle another taper right at the moment. One think I hear a lot about it, if we go down too fast, the tapers seem to pile up into an avalanche of bad symptoms.  If we don't give our body time to adjust to a new taper, then it can all hit us at once. 

If I'm going to have bad sxs, it's usually between 5 and 10 days.  But again everyone is different and I am just tapering from 1 mg of C.  Your 250 mg of D would compare with 17 mg of my C so mine is much less.

What are your sxs like right now?  Are you able to function mostly normal, or not? oregonlady

[[or...]]

2 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

I just had a read, and I also had a read on what benzos do, and withdrawal. Thank you for being such great support, comforting to have someone like you in this group. I was going to do a long hold? But after having a read on what benzos do, I’m thinking of continuing my taper as slow as possible, I think my cuts have been way to big and fast. 

You sound aware, and that is very good thing.  You can adjust as you go, listen to your body.  Feeling Stable doesn't men "healed" to me, just my opinion.  So even if I'm just making it through the days and doing what business I have to take care of, I will taper again, but I always wait til at least 7 or so days because my first 5 days I don't feel much of anything

You're welcome and so glad if I can help anyone I also keep track on a little notepad, how much I'm tapering and when.  You can see where I taper from my dates in my History   Do you use a scale? I always do, unless the dose is in the pill, like first I had 1 mg, second now I have .5 so on the .5 I just took one tablet a day, and then I started tapering so needed the scale to hit on 3% less at first, now 5% less each taper

[[An...]]

20 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

I should ask how long your holding along with how large a taper?  I don't cut again if my symptoms are unmanageable, or maybe better to say if I just don't feel like I could handle another taper right at the moment. One think I hear a lot about it, if we go down too fast, the tapers seem to pile up into an avalanche of bad symptoms.  If we don't give our body time to adjust to a new taper, then it can all hit us at once. 

If I'm going to have bad sxs, it's usually between 5 and 10 days.  But again everyone is different and I am just tapering from 1 mg of C.  Your 250 mg of D would compare with 17 mg of my C so mine is much less.

What are your sxs like right now?  Are you able to function mostly normal, or not? oregonlady

Yes, correct you are right there! The beggining of my taper I dropped around 150mgs rapidly, I tried to cold turkey, and suffered extremely in early January 2023 after 6 weeks of suffering,  I reinstated 20 pills, from 50 pills per day. During that time I was still so sick but I think after coming out of cold turkey, I felt 40 percent better from cold turkey for 6-7 weeks. From there I held onto 20 tablets, my memory from there is a blur I don’t know how I got to taking 10 tablets I remember I was dropping 5mgs at a time, my symptoms when I done the big cut were, 

pyscosis 

aggression 

would physically abuse myself not others, gave myself a couple of black eyes in the process 

chopped my long hair off 

quit my job 

deleted all my social media wanted to disappear ( acrophobia ) 

never left the house once 

muscle aches 

extreme weight loss 

diarrhoea

depression and anxiety 

all these symptoms were on 10000000x blast 

I didn’t have insomnia as I was using straight thc oil, and Serequal to knock myself to sleep, and repeat my days. I was sleeping 12 hours. living in an apartment with my abusive ex boyfriend, no car, no license, not being able to do anything whilst his cheating; all this whilst enduring his mental and physical abuse. 

May 2023 came back home to my mothers. ( stopped taking thc oil and serequal to sleep my life away ) 

I remember in June 2023 I was on 10 tablets. Still extremely sick at that point. Going through the break up, I was cutting 5 mgs a month at this point. Nov 2023 my body and brain said enough and I done an extremely long hold on 7 tablets. I held for a couple of months with only a few small reductions when I was feeling ok. The symptoms lessened in intensity, that’s when I started to taper much slower, and 1.25 mgs at max. 
 

now July 2024 and I am only cutting 0.6 mgs I hold that for 1 week, then the following week I always follow with another 0.6, so it’s a 1.25 reduction as I struggle with weighing my pills, and quarters is the smallest I can measure accurately. 

Edited July 22 by [An...]

[[or...]]

Wow, talk about a survivor!!  You are pretty amazing to have made it through so much!!  It sounds pretty good where you are at right now, just take your time, that .6 sounds like the best taper so far, but just stick with that.  And if I can use a scale with my tremors you can use a scale.  Mine is just under 20 dollar jewelry scale and works good enough. 

I used to split my 1mg tablets in quarters but you wouldn't believe how far off I was actually getting my dose by doing it that way.  With practice, I got really good at weighing.  I made rather a crappy video of me tapering if you want to see it and try again so you know exactly how much your are tapering, I'll come back and link to it for you k??  Hugs, and keep me and others posted on how you are doing, we need each other.  I know a lot about being abused as well, though I won't talk about it here   I got away too, I ran!! oregonlady ~ Denise

[[An...]]

1 minute ago, [[o...] said:

Wow, talk about a survivor!!  You are pretty amazing to have made it through so much!!  It sounds pretty good where you are at right now, just take your time, that .6 sounds like the best taper so far, but just stick with that.  And if I can use a scale with my tremors you can use a scale.  Mine is just under 20 dollar jewelry scale and works good enough. 

I used to split my 1mg tablets in quarters but you wouldn't believe how far off I was actually getting my dose by doing it that way.  With practice, I got really good at weighing.  I made rather a crappy video of me tapering if you want to see it and try again so you know exactly how much your are tapering, I'll come back and link to it for you k??  Hugs, and keep me and others posted on how you are doing, we need each other.  I know a lot about being abused as well, though I won't talk about it here   I got away too, I ran!! oregonlady ~ Denise

Thank you so much! You are such a kind person. I’m a 28 year old female, I also haven’t looked back, it’s been hard as he is threatening to ruin my reputation and I have a lot to lose with my reputation, due to religion purposes so I’m really scared and more scared to report him as I don’t want to trigger him at all. 

 I would love to see the video of you weighing the pills 

[[or...]]

22 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

Thank you so much! You are such a kind person. I’m a 28 year old female, I also haven’t looked back, it’s been hard as he is threatening to ruin my reputation and I have a lot to lose with my reputation, due to religion purposes so I’m really scared and more scared to report him as I don’t want to trigger him at all. 

 I would love to see the video of you weighing the pills 

Ok, it's not a great video, and I was having a hard time here and there, but you can get the idea.  If you want to talk about more personal things, you are very welcome to p.m. me.

here's the video, no laughing Ok, so I laugh at it, so can you Denise

I deleted it!  I didn't remember doing that, and had planned to do a better one, but didn't.  I'll see what I can make up for you.  I'm sorry, I really didn't remember deleting it. I posted it somewhere on here, let me see if I can first find it for you here on the forum

[[An...]]

19 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

Ok, it's not a great video, and I was having a hard time here and there, but you can get the idea.  If you want to talk about more personal things, you are very welcome to p.m. me.

here's the video, no laughing Ok, so I laugh at it, so can you Denise

I deleted it!  I didn't remember doing that, and had planned to do a better one, but didn't.  I'll see what I can make up for you.  I'm sorry, I really didn't remember deleting it. I posted it somewhere on here, let me see if I can first find it for you here on the forum

Ohh that’s ok maybe I can look something up on YouTube so you don’t trouble yourself 

[[or...]]

I did give up because I decided it would be easier to make another video.  If I get that done, I'll be sure you're the first to know.  I know where there's one that got me started but he didn't use my taper method (taper & hold) but he does show how to use a scale, not like mine, but popular here on BB.

This guys helped me at least get started weighing my tablets I learned how to taper and hold with folks here on BB.  Also learned about the 5 - 10 recommended tapers, but I still chose less that the 5.  Ashton says that the larger your doses, the bigger cuts you can make, but I still say slow and steady, or "low" and steady and if you are doing great, than try to taper a little more.  That's much easier than suffering from too big a taper, then having to lower my next taper, OL ~ Denise

Micro taper Video:

 

Edited July 22 by [or...]

[[or...]]

the guy in the video is tapering off of Clorazepate, although it's other name is Tranxene.  It's very similar to Diazepam, I just read that.  I'd forgotten but he does hold for a time between tapers, so it's very similar to the way I do it, he just tapered smaller than I've been.  He held down his job though, or I mean, he had to got to work so he was super careful.  I really admired the guy, still do