10 years free

[[Ei...]]

Hey friends,
 
It's blowing my mind that it's been 10 years since I took my last Ativan.  A bit over 10 years ago, I joined this community and desperately read every post in every thread, searching for anything that would help me get off of benzos and stop suffering.  

As I sit here writing this today, I know that at that time, I was suffering beyond what I had thought possible, yet I have a hard time remembering what it felt like.  It took somewhere between 3 and 5 years to fully stop experiencing post acute withdrawal symptoms, so it's been over 5 full years of feeling normal.

In other words: there's life on the other side of this withdrawal journey, and not just life, but normalcy.  Happiness.  Health.  Love.

Wishing all of you the very best as you work to get off of these inhumane drugs.

With love,

Eidolon

[[La...]]

Congratulations on your recovery! Although a long journey, you’re on the other side and came back to let others know. Thank you! May you continue to enjoy life. 

[[Ha...]]

Thank you for posting! I took Ativan as prescribed for 41 years. I jumped off about 5 weeks ago and I'm doing fairly well. I went through the worst W/D symptoms during my last year of a 2 year long dry cut taper. Still have really blurry vision, hair is falling out in chunks (does that get better?), some cortisol rushes but not as bad as they were. Bad smells also are improving but still there. I love to hear the success stories.

[[or...]]

10 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Hey friends,
 
It's blowing my mind that it's been 10 years since I took my last Ativan.  A bit over 10 years ago, I joined this community and desperately read every post in every thread, searching for anything that would help me get off of benzos and stop suffering.  

As I sit here writing this today, I know that at that time, I was suffering beyond what I had thought possible, yet I have a hard time remembering what it felt like.  It took somewhere between 3 and 5 years to fully stop experiencing post acute withdrawal symptoms, so it's been over 5 full years of feeling normal.

In other words: there's life on the other side of this withdrawal journey, and not just life, but normalcy.  Happiness.  Health.  Love.

Wishing all of you the very best as you work to get off of these inhumane drugs.

With love,

Eidolon

Hi Eidolon, good of you to return to tell us about your healing.  I'd like to know what sort of taper you did, or did you do a Cold Turkey? 

I am doing a slow taper, 16 months into it, I took C for 35 years.  I am doing very well with my taper, but do have a thought, now and again, about what it will be like after my last dose.  Would so appreciate your feedback oregonlady ~ Denise

[[Os...]]

14 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Hey friends,
 
It's blowing my mind that it's been 10 years since I took my last Ativan.  A bit over 10 years ago, I joined this community and desperately read every post in every thread, searching for anything that would help me get off of benzos and stop suffering.  

As I sit here writing this today, I know that at that time, I was suffering beyond what I had thought possible, yet I have a hard time remembering what it felt like.  It took somewhere between 3 and 5 years to fully stop experiencing post acute withdrawal symptoms, so it's been over 5 full years of feeling normal.

In other words: there's life on the other side of this withdrawal journey, and not just life, but normalcy.  Happiness.  Health.  Love.

Wishing all of you the very best as you work to get off of these inhumane drugs.

With love,

Eidolon

How big of a difference was there on the other side and how did you know when you were getting close? Did you automatically stop thinking about withdrawal when it ended? Did motivation and zest for life return?

[[pi...]]

Hello @[Ei...] and congratulations on your recovery!

Thank you so much for posting this message of hope. So many people will benefit from hearing about your healing, even though it took a significantly long time. 

I wish you th best in your benzo free and healed life!

[[Ho...]]

@[Ei...], thank you, thank you for coming back and sharing this! I'm about two years post-jump and getting super discouraged because I'll have some chunks of time (hours) when I feel almost normal. Then I swing back to feeling almost acute and was beginning to think I'm a lost cause. 

Now I don't feel that way. Thanks to you!! God bless you!!

[[Ei...]]

11 hours ago, [[o...] said:

Hi Eidolon, good of you to return to tell us about your healing.  I'd like to know what sort of taper you did, or did you do a Cold Turkey? 

I am doing a slow taper, 16 months into it, I took C for 35 years.  I am doing very well with my taper, but do have a thought, now and again, about what it will be like after my last dose.  Would so appreciate your feedback oregonlady ~ Denise

No, not cold turkey.  At first i just tried tapering on my own but I was taking Ativan and it was too difficult.  At some point in there, I learned about Dr. Ashton's valium tapering method and I searched until I finally found a doctor that would switch me to valium and try it that way (finding such a doc took a while).

I tapered using valium for about a full year.  Any time I would try to taper too aggressively, it was unbearable, so I finally learned to just listen to my body and do small cuts every 2-3 weeks at most.  Nice and slow

[[Ei...]]

7 hours ago, [[O...] said:

How big of a difference was there on the other side and how did you know when you were getting close? Did you automatically stop thinking about withdrawal when it ended? Did motivation and zest for life return?

I took my last dose in 2014.  I still wasn't very normal for at least a couple years.  I'd still get really bad anxiety (which I never had before I started benzos, had no idea what a panic attack even was before benzos), vertigo that would make me uncomfortable trying to walk or drive, etc.

Sometime around that 2 year mark after my last dose, I decided to start taking Lexapro to help with the anxiety and the depression that stuck around from still not feeling normal.  Lexapro helped me a lot, and by the ~3 year mark, I applied at some amazing companies and landed my dream job, and my career has been amazing ever since.

I had started dating someone within the first year of jumping off, and thankfully she was very understanding and sympathetic to my symptoms.  

I estimate it was around 5 years before I really stopped having any withdrawal symptoms whatsoever, and by then, yes - my motivation and zest for life, as you put it, were completely back.  Life was fantastic, and has been ever since.

Edited July 21 by [Ei...]

[[Ei...]]

2 hours ago, [[H...] said:

@[Ei...], thank you, thank you for coming back and sharing this! I'm about two years post-jump and getting super discouraged because I'll have some chunks of time (hours) when I feel almost normal. Then I swing back to feeling almost acute and was beginning to think I'm a lost cause. 

Now I don't feel that way. Thanks to you!! God bless you!!

Yeah, don't get discouraged

When I had a bad day of PAWS come on, I would remind myself of how far I'd come - going from 24/7 panic attacks, vertigo, tremors, shocks, the whole 9 yards, to "some days kinda suck, but others are fine."  That's a big improvement!

I'd say you're through the hard part.  Just keep enjoying life and give yourself some slack on the bad days and rest.  They won't last forever

Edited July 21 by [Ei...]

[[Sl...]]

3 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Sometime around that 2 year mark after my last dose, I decided to start taking Lexapro to help with the anxiety and the depression that stuck around from still not feeling normal.  Lexapro helped me a lot

Are you still on Lexapro? 

[[An...]]

Huge congrats and ty for sharing. Hope you are having a great weekend.

[[Ei...]]

On 20/07/2024 at 23:00, [[S...] said:

Are you still on Lexapro? 

Yes, but I am actually tapering right now as we speak. I've been taking it since 2017 and decided a few months ago I really don't think I need it any more, so I started tapering.  I was taking 20mg a day and I went to 15mg for a month, now on 10 mg for a month.  Next month I will do 5mg and then go to 0.

So far I have felt absolutely nothing by reducing my Lexapro.  It's nothing like reducing benzo doses, thank god.

[[Pa...]]

Thank you, thank you, @[Ei...] for coming back and sharing your success with us!  So many people still need to hear this, the suffering continues but the hope you've supplied today will mean so much to so many.