Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

[[PE...]]

18 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

I cant live a normal life at all at the moment. I'm to busy pacing around out of my mind or lying on my bed exausted and generally seriously mentaly ill. it's beyond words what this crap can do to people. I can't beleive it's real sometimes. A normal life seems far away.

I know you are suffering atm.. 

I was in a bad state to only 10 months ago but i can't really remember the feeling. I think my brain has hidden it. It was to unbearable to making a memory of it.

 

[[in...]]

Start of day 93 without Clonazepam.

Another night of no sleep. At least not yet. It's a little bit over 01:00 at night and I'm not even close to tired. 

What are you guys doing?

[[in...]]

Still day 93 lol. 

I woke up after about 5 hours of sleep. Bounced out of bed like a fireman. Adrenaline/cortisol was flowing again...

I know this is happening because I was expecting something to happen around the three month mark.

I don't know how to handle this anymore. What's my next "checkpoint" so to speak? It feels like I have nothing to hope for anymore. It could be days or maybe months before I heal... Thoughts?

[[De...]]

You make it worse by thinking like that. 
I did that too And felt terible when i reach some date And nothing happen. 
things will change. I know because i feel change in me. I was thinking i will stay in wd forever. But whatever we think eventually we all heal!! 
it is cruel to be in wd. But its temporery. 
things will calm down. Our body just need more time. 

[[in...]]

So I've been in withdrawal for a while now. I tapered quite fast and I'm now 93 days post jump. I've had quite a lot of anxiety and everything that comes with it since my jump. I still thought to myself: "If this is WD then I'll be ok in the future! It's hurting but hey, I've seen worse!". Right?

I was so wrong. My sleeping patterns are now messed up. I've started having really intense anxiety attacks, like the ones I had when anxiety entered my life 15-20 years ago. My appetite is down next to nothing and I feel stressed out from the moment I get out of bed until I fall asleep about 20 hours later. Is this what "waves" are all about?!

I thought the waves/windows would come and go in the beginning, and that I would feel better with time. Again: I was wrong! I guess I'll just have to stay patient. I was so hoping to improve after 3 months... If you have any leftovers of hope please let me know! I really need it bad. I hope you all are having a good day 💯❤️⭐

Edited September 8 by [in...]

[[in...]]

Day 94 post jump!

I woke up with zero cortisol again! I really thought "oh f-ck! I'll be stuck with this forever!". I must've slept for 8+ hours tonight. I woke up feeling rested.

Plan for today: Install a mirror at my place and start lifting weights! I've been thinking about this for some time now so it feels good to finally get going! 

I wish you the best day ever! 💯🙏❤️😊🙌

Edited September 9 by [in...]

[[PE...]]

2 hours ago, [[i...] said:

Day 94 post jump!

I woke up with zero cortisol again! I really thought "oh f-ck! I'll be stuck with this forever!". I must've slept for 8+ hours tonight. I woke up feeling rested.

Plan for today: Install a mirror at my place and start lifting weights! I've been thinking about this for some time now so it feels good to finally get going! 

I wish you the best day ever! 💯🙏❤️😊🙌

Yeah buddy!!

Get that mirror 😊😊

[[in...]]

Another night of... guess what? Insomnia of course! Wiiiiii! 😂 It's 02:30 over here and I'm not even close to being tired...

How's everybody doing?

Edited Wednesday at 00:34 by [in...]

[[PE...]]

27 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

Another night of... guess what? Insomnia of course! Wiiiiii! 😂 It's 02:30 over here and I'm not even close to being tired...

How's everybody doing?

I'm good! Except your shit. Insomnia!

 

[[Kr...]]

@[PE...]hi hon!

[[in...]]

Day 96.

I just came home after 45-50 minutes of swimming! I was stressed out going there, but I felt a lot better once I got into the pool!

I've been thinking a lot about my "anxiety" and the cortisol rushes. I'm starting to think it's all because of me not doing enough during daytime. I need to start exercising more! Just a thought! Y'all have a nice day now 💯❤️

[[PE...]]

19 hours ago, [[K...] said:

@[PE...]hi hon!

Dito buddy 😊

[[in...]]

Insomnia... I've slept for about 2+ hours during the last 24 hours. It's about 00:45 over here and I still can't sleep!

Any tips and tricks? Thanks everybody! 🙏🙏🙏

[[Fa...]]

Have you ever heard of ASMR?

There are so many videos on YouTube, you really have to search for what style works for you.  But, there are so many ASMR videos for sleep/anxiety.  If you find a channel that works for you, it can also feel like company as many do POV (point of view) videos that have you feel as though you are having a personal session.  Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't.  I have to be in the right space.  But, maybe worth checking out.  Just tossing this out there...I realize it's not everyone's thing.  But, I didn't know about it before WD, and it has helped me often.

[[Fa...]]

One more thing about ASMR...it is best with ear phones/ear buds.  If you're in a place where sounds are still very problematic, it won't be for you.  There are times I am totally good with it and it is helpful, and there are days where I can't even consider it.  Depends on my symptoms.  But, good to keep in your back pocket.  Obviously many, many people benefit from it.  There are some crazy 'role play' channels...you really have to find an 'artist' that fits.  It took me a while to find a few channels that worked for me.

[[in...]]

100 days without benzos! Let's go!!! 💯😀❤️🙏

[[Ch...]]

@[in...]I can't wait to be where you are at friend :)! Awesome work.

[[in...]]

7 hours ago, [[C...] said:

@[in...]I can't wait to be where you are at friend :)! Awesome work.

I hate to disappoint you, but 100 days is nothing but a good start! 100 days is better than 50 (obviously), but I still have a loooong road ahead of me! Tip of the day: Stay focused on exercising, eating somewhat healthy, and sleep when you can!

[[in...]]

On 13/09/2024 at 01:16, [[F...] said:

Have you ever heard of ASMR?

There are so many videos on YouTube, you really have to search for what style works for you.  But, there are so many ASMR videos for sleep/anxiety.  If you find a channel that works for you, it can also feel like company as many do POV (point of view) videos that have you feel as though you are having a personal session.  Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't.  I have to be in the right space.  But, maybe worth checking out.  Just tossing this out there...I realize it's not everyone's thing.  But, I didn't know about it before WD, and it has helped me often.

I've heard about it, and I listened to some on YouTube. I guess it can be relaxing for some. I just think it feels weird. I don't know!

[[An...]]

Good to see you are seeing amusement in our situation!