Feels like the first time...

[[Fa...]]

Each time I hit the peak of my cut, it feels like the first time...like I'm surprised how crappy it is.  Every three weeks or so, I say it to myself again.  Actually, I sing it to myself again.  Foreigner...good song.  Was NOT written about Benzo WD.

So ya...that's my share. 

 

Edited July 19 by [Fa...]

[[pi...]]

Yes, those groundhog days are pretty awful. But every day you are taking a step closer to benzo freedom. Your attitude is great, it will help you through this process. You’ve got this! 

[[Fa...]]

@[pi...]  Thanks for replying...I didn't expect any replies 'cause I know it's just par for the course.  And, my brain communicates through songs...and, they stick around in my head.  Crazy-making!  

Here's to a better day!

[[vo...]]

@[Fa...] I would like to send you a private note - nothing to do with this topic. It's about a symptom that you apparently have experienced that I would like to ask you about. I don't see a way to message you privately..please let me know how to contact you

[[Fa...]]

@[vo...]  I will reach out to you shortly.

[[or...]]

11 hours ago, [[F...] said:

Each time I hit the peak of my cut, it feels like the first time...like I'm surprised how crappy it is.  Every three weeks or so, I say it to myself again.  Actually, I sing it to myself again.  Foreigner...good song.  Was NOT written about Benzo WD.

So ya...that's my share. 

Hadn't seen the OP before today, but Foreigner is one of my favorite bands of all time, so I got the title of thread, where it came from, right away

I am tapering 5% now, and figure what to expect in wd sxs before I ever taper again now.  I think knowing that actually helps me.  I stock up on groceries for one thing, lol, and basically hang onto my ass since it's going to be a hell of a ride. 

Sometimes I worry most about others seeing me, or hearing me, when I'm in the pits of despair, I worry I might not be liked, I won't be accepted, or "just put up with"   I think this has helped me too, to feel that way because I can have compassion for others "of my kind" when I am ready to just body-slam them. 

I'm going through something now that is opening my eyes, to tons of tears, and prayer to the God of my understanding.  We need to stick together, accept each other's differences.  How many times I've heard the phrase "we are all different".  It has such meaning in being around others besides here on this forum.  Sometimes I actually think going through this wd process is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Please don't pitch rotten tomatoes at me, I hardly believe I say some of the things I do.  I just hope they are more loving, and accepting of others, not hate or dislike which has all but destroyed me.

I think my brain is healing, but maybe a lot more than I think, or am even ready for, oregonlady ~ Denise

Edited July 19 by [or...]

[[Fa...]]

@[or...]  What a lovely reply!  Thank you.  It has really moved me.

34 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

Sometimes I worry most about others seeing me, or hearing me, when I'm in the pits of despair, I worry I might not be liked, I won't be accepted, or "just put up with"

This is one I battle with all the time.  And, it needs to be seen and healed.  It is one of my largest lessons in life.  And, each time we allow ourselves to be seen as we are and know that it is okay, we heal a little bit more.  I often describe what I experience as 'vulnerability hangover'...it feels the way a hangover would feel back in the days of hangovers.  That feeling of 'cringe', embarrassment, regret.  Almost like the 'walk of shame'.  The first thing I would look for was acceptance in the words of others to validate that I was okay.  The only person that can give us that validation is ourselves.  Looking outside ourselves for that validation is where we get ourselves lost.  And, I got lost.

So much wisdom in this message.  I really enjoyed it.  Thank you very much.

PS Foreigner is a great band! 

 

[[or...]]

I love your response and analogy of the "hangovers" because yes, that I can absolutely compare with the way I still feel after years of not having a hangover   I think when I get honest with myself, break down in heart-broken "honest" tears I can share my gut-level honesty with others most likely to understand.  We do have people here, it's why I keep coming here, and I thank you for the response to my post.  If something I say helps someone else, it feels so good, OL ~ Denise