Will we ever get our old selfs back ?

[[Cr...]]

11 hours ago, [[S...] said:

I feel like I'm not the same person anymore. Will I ever be the same again ?

Why settle for the same self? You may become even better. Strife often molds us into better human beings.

It may not feel like it now, but this recovery process may ultimately be a blessing in disguise and benefit your character development.

My guess is that your topic mainly refers to returning to a state where our minds and bodies are not constantly plagued by benzo withdrawal symptoms. Yes, that will happen as well.  Sadly, there is not enough consistency to make an accurate timeline prediction on individual bases. Only enough to make general guesses based on overall known statistics.

[[Cr...]]

10 minutes ago, [[N...] said:

These are my experiences only. My opinion IS that after withdrawal life does indeed become wonderful again. I am only trying to use my experience to give hope. It’s can happen! 

7 minutes ago, [[N...] said:

As you can see the first this I say is “I can only speak for myself”. Please read entire post before attacking someone that’s going well. 

I am confused @[Ni...], I have not directed any of my posts at you nor anything you said in this thread. My post was a direct response to a post made by @[be...] and was about him framing his opinion about recovery as a definitive fact.

[[WU...]]

19 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

this recovery process may ultimately be a blessing in disguise and benefit your character development.

I don't think I would go that far ! Next you will be suggesting we go back and thank our doctors for giving us this opportunity. Only joking ! 

I know what you mean, but I would have preferred not to have had my character developed in this way, quite happy to be a complete numpty and not had this experience, not even wished it on my worst enemy.

 

[[Cr...]]

21 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

I don't think I would go that far ! Next you will be suggesting we go back and thank our doctors for giving us this opportunity. Only joking ! 

I know what you mean, but I would have preferred not to have had my character developed in this way, quite happy to be a complete numpty and not had this experience, not even wished it on my worst enemy.

 No one should want to go through withdrawal as a means to any benefits. And no one is suggesting that doctors that prescribed these meds should receive gratitude. If you got attacked walking the streets and the subsequent ptsd motivated you to learn self-defense and become a stronger person, that would not imply the attacker deserved gratitude. The self-confidence gained as a result of the attack may go on to benefit your life in many ways later on.

If going through benzo withdrawal changed your perspective on the overuse of psyche meds to where you now do your own additional research whenever it comes to prescribed meds that is good character growth of taking more responsibility for your own health that was brought on by benzo withdrawal.

If you used to say 'just suck it up' to people with anxiety/panic, because you never experienced it prior to benzo withdrawal, but now you have more compassion for such people, that is also positive character growth.

Tiny changes in how you approach life can make huge changes in the lives of others.

[[En...]]

4 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

 No one should want to go through withdrawal as a means to any benefits. And no one is suggesting that doctors that prescribed these meds should receive gratitude. If you got attacked walking the streets and the subsequent ptsd motivated you to learn self-defense and become a stronger person, that would not imply the attacker deserved gratitude.

If going through benzo withdrawal changed your perspective on overuse of psyche meds to where you now do your own additional research whenever it comes to prescribed meds that is good character growth of taking more responsibility for your own health that was brought on by benzo withdrawal.

If you used to say 'just suck it up' to people with anxiety/panic, because you never experienced it prior to benzo withdrawal, but now you have more compassion for such people, that is also positive character growth.

Tiny changes in how you approach life can make huge changes in the lives of others.

Yes I agree. We grow by struggles in life and overcoming them. This isn't the best way to grow but it falls into that category. I know this experience has changed me. I will never be the same as before again. But in a good way. A sort of development. Too bad it had to take something so horrible but that is what it takes to grow. 

I would never thank my Dr for prescribing me these meds. He made the mistake and I am paying for it. But I will look at the benefit of the situation and not the consequence of it. I like alot of people on here have suffered through this and hard times make hard men/women. 

[[Fa...]]

'It's only under extreme pressure that the greater diamonds are formed.'  We may not have chosen to be a diamond, but we will be diamonds.

[[En...]]

54 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Why settle for the same self? You may become even better. Strife often molds us into better human beings.

It may not feel like it now, but this recovery process may ultimately be a blessing in disguise and benefit your character development.

My guess is that your topic mainly refers to returning to a state where our minds and bodies are not constantly plagued by benzo withdrawal symptoms. Yes, that will happen as well.  Sadly, there is not enough consistency to make an accurate timeline prediction on individual bases. Only enough to make general guesses based on overall known statistics.

I think how much you suffer and for how long depends on how long you took the meds and how you weaned off them. If you CT you will have compounded all the withdrawal symptoms you would have had if you tapered slowly. If you damaged your brain CT off you will suffer more and for longer as your brain comes back. 

When we are in a state of withdrawal everything seems like it will never change again for the better. I am guilty of this to this day still and need reassurance. But we all know that this will end eventually. To be reassured is to be supported. 

[[WU...]]

16 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

no one is suggesting that doctors that prescribed these meds should receive gratitude

I did say I was joking !

I am imagining being like Patrick McGoohan in the opening titles of The Prisoner where he marches in to his bosses office and angrily slams down his resignation on the desk, except for me it will be the last packet of diazepam I was prescribed ! 

[[Fa...]]

6 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

I think how much you suffer and for how long depends on how long you took the meds and how you weaned off them. If you CT you will have compounded all the withdrawal symptoms you would have had if you tapered slowly. If you damaged your brain CT off you will suffer more and for longer as your brain comes back. 

This is not the case, but I don't have the brain power right now to expand.  I'm sure someone will.  It would be nice if things were that easy to understand, but they are not.

[[Le...]]

12 hours ago, [[S...] said:

I feel like I'm not the same person anymore. Will I ever be the same again ?

We all grow and change. Will you recover from the benzos…yes. Will the experience change you…definitely. 

If you take me for an example. I was quiet, shy, somewhat passive, and passionate about little. I am fairly loud, often considered rude(though am not imo :)), and dangerously passionate at times. I like the new me. Most others not so much. Most of the people who took advantage of my niceness all my life are not so enthusiastic about the new me. 

[[Cr...]]

9 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

I did say I was joking !

I am imagining being like Patrick McGoohan in the opening titles of The Prisoner where he marches in to his bosses office and angrily slams down his resignation on the desk, except for me it will be the last packet of diazepam I was prescribed ! 

With your luck you may smash it so hard that you manage to pulverize the diazepam and unintentionally absorb it through your skin and lungs 

[[WU...]]

22 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

If you damaged your brain CT off you will suffer more and for longer as your brain comes back. 

Actually not the case, scanning through some old success stories the people who CT'd seem to have recovered quicker than the long taperers. But then this doesn't take into account those of us who were kindled and all the others who never came on this site, so the truth is we don't really know.

[[WU...]]

7 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

With your luck you may smash it so hard that you manage to pulverize the diazepam and unintentionally absorb it through your skin and lungs

Thanks for this possible scenario, I will wear my hazmat suit just in case !

[[jo...]]

I had a window a couple of months back where I felt like me again. Since then not so much. We just have to keep going but it's easy to feel like your never going to be you again. It's a painful process but you just have to fight the thoughts that are telling you it'll never end. 

[[jo...]]

This thing puts you in a negative frame of mind, but its a frame of mind, and frames of mind change. So I dont think it's forever.

[[Le...]]

49 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

Actually not the case, scanning through some old success stories the people who CT'd seem to have recovered quicker than the long taperers. But then this doesn't take into account those of us who were kindled and all the others who never came on this site, so the truth is we don't really know.

I think a real concern is what those people have to endure or if they can endure it. I have a hard time even believing I managed to survive. Still cant believe I endured that. I bet many dont and get dismissed as suicides due to mental illness. 

[[Ki...]]

9 hours ago, [[E...] said:

Yes. I felt like I was going to feel like this permanently before I had any windows. I have had periods where I felt like myself again even better because you will not take the good days for granted. When I feel hopeless I talk to myself that these feelings are a symptom and will go away because they have before and will again. It does help to have acceptance that this is what you have to go through in order to get better. We all get feelings of hopelessness. We have to develop coping skills. We have to have acceptance. We have to have good support. We are all suffering on here and we are here for each other because we understand each other. You will feel good again. Let that thought be your strength. 

How long was it before you started getting windows? I’m 2 years off and still haven’t had a day where I can say I feel like my normal self..😢

[[En...]]

1 minute ago, [[K...] said:

How long was it before you started getting windows? I’m 2 years off and still haven’t had a day where I can say I feel like my normal self..😢

I guess I am lucky enough to have windows at the end of my taper. During my taper I was always in a wave. I had a 2 week window recently and I am in a wave right now. Morning anxiety and fatigue and headache. Do you have a history I can read? 

[[Ki...]]

Just now, [[E...] said:

I guess I am lucky enough to have windows at the end of my taper. During my taper I was always in a wave. I had a 2 week window recently and I am in a wave right now. Morning anxiety and fatigue and headache. Do you have a history I can read? 

I’m glad you’re seeing windows, sounds like you’re getting there! My history is complicated with multiple CTs from an antidepressant that I was on for 8 years because withdrawal from short term use was misdiagnosed as new emerging mental health conditions. I tried to get off multiple times and kept having to go back on, this last time I ‘tapered’ as instructed my GP who failed to move me over to a liquid and so I essentially CT’d again from the lowest tablet dose - then got put on valium for 2 months during acute and ripped off that too. Still have many physical issues but the worst is the mental aspect. I have some days which are better in that the severity of the mental/physical stuff subsides, but I never feel anything close to pre med. Even when the actively bad mental symptoms like the intense looping thoughts and deep depression subside I’m left extremely anhedonic, nothing registers, I don’t react to external stimulus - feel completely dead/asexual still and can’t feel old positive emotions. I’m worried about it being PSSD but I keep being assured everyone recovers so I’m very confused.

[[En...]]

9 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

I’m glad you’re seeing windows, sounds like you’re getting there! My history is complicated with multiple CTs from an antidepressant that I was on for 8 years because withdrawal from short term use was misdiagnosed as new emerging mental health conditions. I tried to get off multiple times and kept having to go back on, this last time I ‘tapered’ as instructed my GP who failed to move me over to a liquid and so I essentially CT’d again from the lowest tablet dose - then got put on valium for 2 months during acute and ripped off that too. Still have many physical issues but the worst is the mental aspect. I have some days which are better in that the severity of the mental/physical stuff subsides, but I never feel anything close to pre med. Even when the actively bad mental symptoms like the intense looping thoughts and deep depression subside I’m left extremely anhedonic, nothing registers, I don’t react to external stimulus - feel completely dead/asexual still and can’t feel old positive emotions. I’m worried about it being PSSD but I keep being assured everyone recovers so I’m very confused.

Have you ever heard of kindling? Do you think you are kindled and need more time to heal? Have you been tested for any potential other health issues to rule out medical issues? I have heard some people can become kindled reinstating a medication after stopping it or reducing it. I hope you feel a good window soon.