Window or manic obsession

[[Mi...]]

I am about 11 weeks into a 0.5 klonopin ct withdrawal.

So I am having a difficult time assessing how I am feeling. Yesterday I had the oppressive-I don’t want to move and feel out of it-anxiety along with depression, but then I started to feel what I thought was “better.” My brain felt more clear and I was able to move around and accomplish some tasks. At first I thought it was a window. I am now not sure. I did get up this morning and got more done than I have in weeks. I felt good about it. But I feel on edge. I didn’t really sleep much last night but I feel very up. I keep obsessing about a love interest and cannot seem to stop thinking about them. I do some tasks, but always go back to it. I feel capable and able to do things that were unimaginable just a few days ago. Is it false? Are my emotions just all over the place? Or am I slipping into mania?

I am afraid of my judgment. 

In addition I noticed that my blood pressure spiked significantly in the afternoon. Like, my face started turning a dark shade of red and I was lightheaded. I am unsure if something similar happened yesterday when I was feeling more “up.” I was able to lay down and do some breathing exercises. My blood pressure and heart rate did slow. But I am still having that “up” feeling. Is my blood pressure swinging wildly? Am I feeling this way because of the blood pressure? Has anyone else experienced this?

I am emotionally confused because I really thought this was a window but I am now not sure. I am trying to do some grounding techniques to get my brain off of the love interest. I recognize logically this is not the time to be getting close to someone, but my brain just keeps going back.

Is this a window or just a new symptom? Any suggestions for dealing with the blood pressure spikes? FYI I am a 35 yo male and had borderline high blood pressure prior to the ct.

Cheers.

[[jo...]]

I had afew episodes that sound like this. I think the technical term is euphoria. I felt a little too good if that makes sense. There was a nervousness underneath it. It is a symptom that you could class as a window as you don't feel so bad. I think it's your brain trying to sort it's self out. If you type Euphoria in the search tab I think I started a thread on it a few months back.

[[Mi...]]

Thank you.  If’s under the heading “Uncomfortable euphoria and emotions all over the place”. 
 

And now that I think of it, it’s happened to me about three times in the last week. Sounds like it eventually pans out though. I’m weirdly waiting for a crash. 

[[jo...]]

Yeah it doesn't last. Really weird symptom. Kind of welcome when you've been suffering. Better than anxiety and depression thats for sure.

Edited July 16 by [jo...]

[[Kr...]]

16 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Yeah it doesn't last. Really weird symptom. Kind of welcom when you've been suffering. Better than anxiety and depression thats for sure.

Yes, true…until it keeps you up for days. 

[[Mi...]]

23 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Yeah it doesn't last. Really weird symptom. Kind of welcome when you've been suffering. Better than anxiety and depression thats for sure.

It’s uncomfy but better than the other uncomfy.  

[[Mi...]]

6 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

Yes, true…until it keeps you up for days. 

Yes.  This.  Can’t sleep at all. I’ve been trying breathing exercises. 

[[Ca...]]

It's weird but it does seem you can have 2 feelings at once. One on the surface that feels positive, but just below is a place of discomfort. Sometimes I'll hear a serious piece of music or watch a comedy on TV, I might be moved by the music and laugh at the show yet feel uneasy or something ugly, waiting for the fall

Then again it could be something different entirely, who knows, I can hardly tell what I even think, half the time. 

[[Mi...]]

@[Ca...] I am with you.  These are feelings that I am not used to processing or identifying.  I am usually a very even keeled and rational person.  The experience I have had has been that I am having intense emotional reactions to particular triggers.  The things that I get anxious about and avoid at baseline, I avoid even more strongly.  My reaction to someone I like giving me attention is tenfold. 
 

I worry that these reactions are affecting my ability to maintain stable relationships.  Am I acting super oddly? Can people tell? 
 

I was not telling people about stopping k because I don’t like to talk about mental health. But I have been trying to tell more people what I am going through to seek understanding and compassion. I think it has been helpful.