Approaching 16 years

[[Da...]]

Wow, where has the time gone!  I got an email to support the forum and decided to log in.  It’s been many years. 
 

Needless to say, my experience feels like a lifetime ago.  I feel normal, which if I do recall was something that I grappled with for a long time.  I am overall pretty proud of this version of myself.  I consider myself generally strong at handling stress, I sleep very well, I work hard and don’t feel any real limitations in my life.  I can assure all of you struggling that I never really knew if I’d ever feel content again, and while that’s probably not how I feel all of the time, I know that I’ve put the whole experience behind me long ago.

I can though state that one symptom has never gone away, though I am unsure I can pin it on benzos or years of listening to loud music.  Tinnitus is with me, though just in the background and I don’t really ever notice it.  I sleep with white noise, but it’s just a part of life and I have no qualms or really thoughts about it.  Everything else, gone and for many years.  Life is good.

Hang in there folks.  You will all see a positive change in your life.  Love to you all!

 

Dan

[[Pa...]]

Well hello there @[Da...], it has been a long time but its so kind of you to post a success story, they are so important because as you can see, people are still suffering and don't believe they can ever recover.

I'm glad to know things are so good, I'm sorry to hear about the tinnitus but you're right, its tough to pin all of that on benzo's when we've been on the planet and abusing our hearing for so long. 

Thanks for stopping in.

@[Pa...]

[[Da...]]

Thanks Pamster.  All the best to you!

One more thing that I forgot to mention but sticks with me from this experience.  While I was withdrawing and recovering I journaled everything, which was very helpful at the time.  How much I slept, how I felt, how much and when I was planning to taper, something that upset me or made me feel good.  I typically ended each journal with some positive affirmation, even if I didn’t really feel it.  At some point I set it aside, in an attempt to distance myself from the experience.  What was powerful for me (as I recall the experience) was taking that journal and tossing it in the dumpster.  It forced me to let part of the experience go.  Anyway, I still follow the same habit when issues pop up in my life.  A simple thing but meaningful, particularly as more time passes.

[[fa...]]

3 hours ago, [[D...] said:

Thanks Pamster.  All the best to you!

One more thing that I forgot to mention but sticks with me from this experience.  While I was withdrawing and recovering I journaled everything, which was very helpful at the time.  How much I slept, how I felt, how much and when I was planning to taper, something that upset me or made me feel good.  I typically ended each journal with some positive affirmation, even if I didn’t really feel it.  At some point I set it aside, in an attempt to distance myself from the experience.  What was powerful for me (as I recall the experience) was taking that journal and tossing it in the dumpster.  It forced me to let part of the experience go.  Anyway, I still follow the same habit when issues pop up in my life.  A simple thing but meaningful, particularly as more time passes.

Did you ever have physical issues?  Like muscle tension or head pressure/pain?

[[S_...]]

@[Da...] hi dan did you 100% get your old self back ? 

[[Rh...]]

Wow!  It’s soooo nice to hear from someone who has healed and came back to update after so many years off.

It is truly wonderful that you’re healed, living and loving life.  I’m sure this experience seems so long ago, but to have you share with us is such a blessing.

Thank you! 

[[Da...]]

Thanks for the comments!

No, I don’t see it as getting my old self back.  At some point I accepted that I was going to be different than before which is probably completely normal for people that have survived a traumatic experience.  I see it more like I’m an evolved version of myself, no worse and probably in some ways better because I’ve developed a natural coping response and I’m now more experienced in understanding how I feel, how to handle things independently in a positive way and what the right ways are to seek help should I need to.

I don’t recall a host of physical symptoms other than those brought on by exhaustion and stress, some tinnitus and just generally feeling like crap on my worst days, kind of like the flu.  But it’s been a while so i might not fully recall.  Physical symptoms were less impactful for me than mental symptoms.

 

 

[[La...]]

Fantastic of you to give such a good report. Thank you !  Congratulations on your recovery! 

[[bw...]]

Did you ever have a setback due to antibiotics or alcohol?

 

Do you drink at all? Havr you taken an antibiotic at all?  many of us end up in acute all over again and infact sometimes a decade off benzos.