Jealousy

[[Bl...]]

I'm really struggling with this and other emotions at the moment, I can't go on social media without feeling really strong emotions as everyone is so busy and I'm just stuck. It's so upsetting as I wasn't like this before and hate it. Also I seem to be becoming very anti social even with my nearest and dearest . The longer this goes on the worse I get. 

[[jo...]]

I've pretty much become a recluse, I know how you feel. I just cant deal with people like this. I can barely deal with myself at the moment. It's tough. I need to see some signs of improvement but I just can't lately. No windows, no real change for a while now. It has to come at some point though.

[[WU...]]

I feel different about people on social media with their busy lives. They seem so petty compared to ourselves on the Hero's Journey!

 

Edited July 14 by [WU...]

[[PE...]]

11 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

I'm really struggling with this and other emotions at the moment, I can't go on social media without feeling really strong emotions as everyone is so busy and I'm just stuck. It's so upsetting as I wasn't like this before and hate it. Also I seem to be becoming very anti social even with my nearest and dearest . The longer this goes on the worse I get. 

I stopped using social media 9 months ago because it was to stressful. Best choice i done 😊

[[Bi...]]

I can fully relate to jealousy of people on social media, and I have gotten myself into some bad headspaces because of it which probably make the feeling worse, particularly as I lost emotion and connection with others for a long time. But emotions-wise glimmers of them started to trickle back in - they would disappear again during waves, but then overtime have gotten a bit more consistent and by 20months when I started having some windows where the emotions, rather than positive ones just being there the positive emotions could feel like cloud-9, even if just for a day. Then this started getting longer and I had a few days in a row where the positive emotions feel incredible. So it must come and it will hopefully feel so worth it when it does.

[[Bl...]]

Thanks for the replies, sorry that you are experiencing this too, but it helps to be validated. It's emotional dysregulation I suppose, but it sucks. I'm also unbelievably irritable , my poor husband is afraid to open his mouth, hope it eased off soon so hard to cope with. I feel like a completely different person.

[[Cr...]]

People experience better mental health and more positive emotions when the decrease/cease their use of social media. This is before withdrawal is even a factor. I can find sources to post if you'd like.

That said, I did experience feelings of envy when I wasn't able to function normally due to a harsh wave or general persistent withdrawal symptoms. I would look at all the people outside, or on TV, living life in ways that I wished I could. I thought they were taking their normal gaba receptors for granted... when the truth is almost everyone does until they end up in a situation like ours.

Just remember, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's life, wife, or gaba receptors. Although jealousy can also be a good motivator to persevere if applied reasonably  

[[Go...]]

I echo the fact that getting rid of social media is good for your mental health regardless of withdrawal or not. I got rid of Facebook and Instagram years ago before I ever started my taper and it was life changing for my mental and emotional health. I do think especially when we are most vulnerable, it is better to at the very least take a break from all socials. The truth is that anyone who wants to stay connected to you, will do it whether or not you are online. You find out who your real friends are. I think the same goes with pretty much anything: if it’s putting you in a bad place mentally or emotionally, get rid of it! 

[[Bl...]]

@[Cr...]Haha....spot on . I definitely covet my neighbours GABA receptors. I'm so jealous of people in Rest and digest. I had a window of a few hours the other day, it was bliss.

Edited July 14 by [Bl...]

[[WU...]]

13 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

I got rid of Facebook and Instagram

But don't you miss all those cuddly cat videos? 😀

[[Go...]]

1 hour ago, [[W...] said:

But don't you miss all those cuddly cat videos? 😀

I have a golden retriever at home that fulfills all of my cute animal needs 😂 

[[Ca...]]

Ive been off of Facebook for years but somehow my account spontaneously resurrected itself so I see people's posts. I am afraid to try and close it because I might make it even more viable. I was just on a monthly zoom call with ten friends from grade school and high school and I was consumed with envy for their retired lives and hobbies and travel etc. And I felt like i had nothing to add and maybe I don't because no one asks me anything about me. One person knows how sick I am and why and maybe the word has gotten out. I don't know. I feel like if I give up that call that's my last link to my former life.

[[Al...]]

8 hours ago, [[C...] said:

That said, I did experience feelings of envy when I wasn't able to function normally due to a harsh wave or general persistent withdrawal symptoms. I would look at all the people outside, or on TV, living life in ways that I wished I could.

I think this is one of the factors that can contribute to agoraphobia in withdrawal. I don't envy all the materialism and consumerism, but I find it hard going outside and seeing people enjoying the simple pleasures I once took for granted. Things like enjoying food, playing sports, or just walking peacefully in the park.

[[Ca...]]

I don't think feeling sad seeing people enjoy themselves causes or contibutes to agoraphobia. I think it's the reverse; the agoraphobia makes it impossible to socialize -- as does the fatigue and physical pain - which causes the sadness.

[[Al...]]

1 hour ago, [[C...] said:

I don't think feeling sad seeing people enjoy themselves causes or contibutes to agoraphobia. I think it's the reverse; the agoraphobia makes it impossible to socialize -- as does the fatigue and physical pain - which causes the sadness.

Yeah, I think it depends on your definition of agoraphobia. Maybe I wasn't being accurate with my usage there. What I meant is that leaving the house and seeing people leading relatively carefree lives can be painful when you know it isn't possible for you because of your physical/mental state.

Edited July 15 by [Al...]

[[Th...]]

I get periods of feeling envious, jealous and petty. It makes me feel ashamed at times. It’s hard to sit with all this difficult feelings when you’re already feeling rough. As you heal you’ll stop feeling like this and positive feelings will return.

[[Bl...]]

@[Th...]I hope so. Im unbelievably sensitive at the moment to everything especially my thoughts. I was doing ok but then tried to taper my AD and came down to quickly. Now I'm really struggling again.

[[Th...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

@[Th...]I hope so. Im unbelievably sensitive at the moment to everything especially my thoughts. I was doing ok but then tried to taper my AD and came down to quickly. Now I'm really struggling again.

I know that sensitivity well. Be mindful of how you taper the ADs. They need to be tapered slowly like a Benzo. If you hold your dose you should heal in time and then you can do a slower taper,

Edited July 15 by [Th...]

[Guest [Do...]]

15 hours ago, [[G...] said:

I echo the fact that getting rid of social media is good for your mental health regardless of withdrawal or not. I got rid of Facebook and Instagram years ago before I ever started my taper and it was life changing for my mental and emotional health. I do think especially when we are most vulnerable, it is better to at the very least take a break from all socials. The truth is that anyone who wants to stay connected to you, will do it whether or not you are online. You find out who your real friends are. I think the same goes with pretty much anything: if it’s putting you in a bad place mentally or emotionally, get rid of it! 

I deleted my facebook account in 2012 and i dont have any other social media platforms, oe of the best decisions i've made, is was just as good as quitting smoking 19 years ago.

I grew up without social media, and my childhood, my teenage and my twenties couldn't have bben happier.

I agree you know who your real friends are, i had people whop commented me in FB and interated there but if i saw them in the street they wouldn't even say hello. Then came the WD and those i thought were real friends were not either.

 

[[be...]]

19 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I stopped using social media 9 months ago because it was to stressful. Best choice i done 😊

Me too but a year ago. One of the best choices. And @[Bl...] people only post there super positive moments of they lives usually. It's better not to read it when struggling.

Edited July 15 by [be...]

[[PE...]]

38 minutes ago, [[b...] said:

Me too but a year ago. One of the best choices. And @[Bl...] people only post there super positive moments of they lives usually. It's better not to read it when struggling.

Yeah I couldn't take that pretending facebook BS

[[En...]]

22 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I'm really struggling with this and other emotions at the moment, I can't go on social media without feeling really strong emotions as everyone is so busy and I'm just stuck. It's so upsetting as I wasn't like this before and hate it. Also I seem to be becoming very anti social even with my nearest and dearest . The longer this goes on the worse I get. 

I often find myself jealous of other people's functionality as well. I remember seeing people get into their cars in front of my house in the morning and go to work while I am stuck in my house suffering. I have also become anti social from this. I believe it is normal for anyone not in control of their lives to feel this. I try to be grateful for what I do have while going through this. And I am grateful for the days I feel better. I am looking forward to feeling normal again. For now we have to be good to ourselves and give us a break. We are going through a life changing situation. We will come out of this stronger and wiser. Those people we are jealous of will not change. They take what they have for granted. You can almost think of this as a gift even though it doesn't seem like it now. When I have a window I know I have gratitude I never had before. 

[[Cr...]]

23 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

I often find myself jealous of other people's functionality as well. I remember seeing people get into their cars in front of my house in the morning and go to work while I am stuck in my house suffering. I have also become anti social from this. I believe it is normal for anyone not in control of their lives to feel this. I try to be grateful for what I do have while going through this. And I am grateful for the days I feel better. I am looking forward to feeling normal again. For now we have to be good to ourselves and give us a break. We are going through a life changing situation. We will come out of this stronger and wiser. Those people we are jealous of will not change. They take what they have for granted. You can almost think of this as a gift even though it doesn't seem like it now. When I have a window I know I have gratitude I never had before. 

It is wild to think that benzos initially caused us to become more social and capable of doing normal, everyday things without fear. 

Then tolerance and withdrawal hits, and now the treatment worsens the symptoms it was meant to help with.

[[jo...]]

I'm jealous of other peoples GABA receptors. I walk around the store wishing I was anyone else in there but me. Of course we dont know what other people are suffering but you can't help thinking you have it worse. 

[[En...]]

30 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

It is wild to think that benzos initially caused us to become more social and capable of doing normal, everyday things without fear. 

Then tolerance and withdrawal hits, and now the treatment worsens the symptoms it was meant to help with.

That's why these pills should only be an emergency use only not long term. Long term it ruined my life. It has also showed me how precious life is and not to take anything for granted. I just want my life back. To go back to work. To be part of civilization again. I get windows of a normal life only for it to be taken away. At least I am off this horrible pill now and I will be healing. I still have an antipsychotic to get off of as well which I was supposed to start today but I dont think that is a good idea I dont want to feel worse. Maybe I will wait another 2 weeks before I attempt that and see how I am feeling. It will be difficult to decide when is a good time to get off that pill.