Severe life trauma

[[Co...]]

Hi guys, I just need to vent somewhere because I have trouble dealing and processing things. I recently celebrated my 27th birthday. The same day of my birthday I had a wedding of two very close friends. It all turned into an absolute shitshow almost impossible to believe and if it was fiction you would say the writers did a horrible job but it actually happened. When leaving the church four of my friends were in a car and the car crashed with a crazy motorcycle driver going insane speed. Everyone is physically fine on my side. Except the motorcyclist but he went to a good hospital. He turned out to be a gang member and his gang kidnapped the criminal defense attorney to make sure the family would pay for the hospital charges and get good medical care. Then we all had to eventually go to the wedding and pretend everything was fine. And then when leaving the wedding completely unrelated 3 of my friends walked back to the accommodation although the venue was in an unsafe area and got robbed and express kidnapped. One of them was my boyfriend. And they walked cause one of them was afraid to be in a car because of the car crash. Luckily my boyfriend is a very good talker (he is a lawyer) and they are all safe now. But got stolen everything including their suits. They even ended up smoking weed with the robbers and they came home wearing the robbers shoes. But anyway. A lot to unpack especially with severe severe brain damage and I have troubles processing stuff because I have no processing power nor emotions anymore etc. I took these poisons for less than 2 weeks in 2022 because my therapist said I had to take it in order to follow CBT and I still cannot talk or walk or sleep or visualise or remember or feel or do anything anymore. So it was a lot. And everyone kept asking me afterwards how my birthday was and I was like it was a horrible experience and now I probably traumatized my friends back home because it is just unimaginable. All that in one day. When it rains it pours. And I feel very alone and very misunderstood because I am not from here (Ecuador) and I am not used to this. The police did not even care at all. Latin America is a nice but also bad place to live. Anyway, rant over. 

[[pi...]]

@[Co...],

This is a very traumatic experience. Anyone, even those not affected by benzos or withdrawal, would have a difficult time dealing with all of this. I hope you can find a place and time to decompress and allow your system to recover. 

[[Co...]]

Thank you pianogirl. I did not know where to go with this story. Because my friends back home also seem traumatized by this. Everyone here is a little too chill but they are more used living in a third world country I guess. I have huge culture shock with how everything was handled by the people and the police and everything as well. So felt very lonely and confused. And I already had some kind of PTSD my first time I came to Ecuador because I had a diving accident and that is how my medication injury started and I was in an earthquake, a boat accident, etc. Etc. For some reason July + me + Ecuador is a very bad combination.

[[mo...]]

I’m so sorry you experienced such disturbing, traumatizing experiences, especially on a day you were meant to be celebrating. I can’t imagine dealing with this alone, especially as someone who is not native/fully comfortable in the country you are in. Where are you originally from? Is there a way to find a place where you feel more safe, either within Ecuador or perhaps another country? You don’t deserve all this trauma and anxiety!  

[[Co...]]

I am originally from Europe so a very different vibe. This day alone would cause any of my friends back home months of therapy. And I got into benzos because of therapy so I am too traumatized to go back to therapy lol. The area we live in is a lot safer. The area where the wedding what was clearly not. I have a hard time because I was not a victim neither from the car crash nor from the robbery so I tried not to make it about me at all but the shock to my system is very huge especially considering not being able to count on the emergency services etc. and feeling foreign and alone and misunderstood. I just feel empty I do not even have anxiety anymore and I stayed up all night with a traumatized friend being there for them. But to be honest all are my boyfriend's friends - not my friends. And I was the one that does not sleep anymore at all so I was the one trying to pick up the pieces and supporting him and it was a lot. Especially since my boyfriend pointed out nothing happened to me. Luckily some of his other friends were like of course she was superworried and shocked and she is not even from here etc. So I have some understanding there. My family is now trying to convince me to move back to Europe. But I am rather handicapped in a foreign environment here in Latin America than handicapped at home with the people that failed me.